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"They make the best kind." Going to disagree on that one everyone's different of course . Primal Dom/sub dynamics are better imo. If other dynamics get me there then that's  | |||
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"They make the best kind. This "Great minds | |||
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"They make the best kind. This "This, the juxtaposition, adds a respect. | |||
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"They make the best kind. This
This, the juxtaposition, adds a respect."Well put! | |||
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"They make the best kind. This
This, the juxtaposition, adds a respect.
Well put!"Hmmm I think that balance can exist in many forms. It's not exclusive to Gentleman. | |||
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"Can a gentleman be a Dom? " Yes and no Bring a Dom isn’t something you crown yourself, it’s something earned Some can earn submission, others are less able to | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one." Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. | |||
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"Yes, however some don't realise you usually have to earn the right from partner to be one. " This  | |||
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"Can a gentleman be a Dom? Yes and no Bring a Dom isn’t something you crown yourself, it’s something earned Some can earn submission, others are less able to " You clearly understand 
Submission is a gift, not a right. | |||
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"Can a Dom be a Gentleman? "Not at that particular moment  | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one." And there are thousands that claim to be intelligent. Personally I think the lasts thing to discover water would be fish. Dominating is a verb , not a noun . An action, not a physical entity. Well, in my world. However, does it expose “Doms” who don’t know the difference? | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. " I was left with nerve damage from someone on the scene who was known locally as experienced with ropework it's not just inexperienced people who get it wrong! | |||
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"If be gentleman, you mean ethical, genuine, open, honest, caring and attentive - then that is what a Dom should be, regardless of gender! That doesn’t mean they cannot be Dominant, primal, brutal, remorseless - it means they operate within predefined and agreed boundaries. " But would you apply the term lady to a female Dom? I don't think many would. Which is why I prefer the term ethical Dom   | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. " This!!!! So many people claim to be into the lifestyle but have no idea and it is a huge safety concern. Its so easy to mess up (even the experienced ones) that can have long term damage to people | |||
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"Can a Dom be a Gentleman?
Not at that particular moment "• Oh hush you! Don't you have a mole that needs fixing!? | |||
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"Can a Dom be a Gentleman?
Not at that particular moment
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Oh hush you! Don't you have a mole that needs fixing!? "I did think about cutting it out myself and posting it but I think I'll wait for the appointment | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. " I get where you are coming from, I genuinely do. But it's also down to the submissive to do their own research. It's their own health and safety they are risking and thus important they do their own research. I'm a sub and I research everything I do or have done to me as much as the Dom. And this I personally isn't highlighted enough. | |||
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"If be gentleman, you mean ethical, genuine, open, honest, caring and attentive - then that is what a Dom should be, regardless of gender! That doesn’t mean they cannot be Dominant, primal, brutal, remorseless - it means they operate within predefined and agreed boundaries. But would you apply the term lady to a female Dom? I don't think many would. Which is why I prefer the term ethical Dom "I think being ethical is something that covers so many different areas and definitions rather than the terms good/bad or right/wrong. | |||
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"It's how it should be" This... | |||
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His dominance over me is based upon expectation of self improvement, of agreements that we have discussed. The balance we have brings a security and deep love and respect for each other 
So yes is my short answer to the op!
Cherry x  | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. "  That's terrible. | |||
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"Perhaps the OP can provide some clarification? I interpreted it as "can a nice guy be dominant"? But I think that interpretation is because of my experiences and the (wannabe) Dominants I've talked to. It seems to be a sticking point for many - can I be a good guy and restrain/hurt/control someone? I think you can, provided you are going to learn and keep learning so you understand what you're doing and can be safe and respectful with those you dominate. " I think you raise a good point as people can be a nice person but also dominant in the bedroom. The too thing can work together. Its very dependent on the dynamic that is present | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I get where you are coming from, I genuinely do. But it's also down to the submissive to do their own research. It's their own health and safety they are risking and thus important they do their own research. I'm a sub and I research everything I do or have done to me as much as the Dom. And this I personally isn't highlighted enough. " (Applause) Yes!!! When I ran the Manchester Munch we had a lending library of great instructional/educational books... I used to encourage all newbies to have a good read, but especially new submissives. There are too many people who tell submissives they shouldn't bother about learning how to do things safely... This should be the biggest red flag. As a bottom/submissive the only person who can accurately assess how you're feeling or responding to something is yourself. Learn about safe placement of rope, learn anatomy and where danger points (such as nerves or arteries) are. Keep yourself safe - always! | |||
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"Think every Tom dick and Harry now claims to be dominant, it's like a fashion statement. Back in the mists of time it was something you whispered as was seen almost like saying you had a thing for donkeys" Tbh I don't think this is a good site to advertise being into BDSM. Some very judgemental people. | |||
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"If be gentleman, you mean ethical, genuine, open, honest, caring and attentive - then that is what a Dom should be, regardless of gender! That doesn’t mean they cannot be Dominant, primal, brutal, remorseless - it means they operate within predefined and agreed boundaries. But would you apply the term lady to a female Dom? I don't think many would. Which is why I prefer the term ethical Dom "The term for a women is Domme Any Dom of any gender should work within SSC as a baseline, if they don’t, run! They’re not ethical and don’t deserve the title or anyone’s submission | |||
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"If be gentleman, you mean ethical, genuine, open, honest, caring and attentive - then that is what a Dom should be, regardless of gender! That doesn’t mean they cannot be Dominant, primal, brutal, remorseless - it means they operate within predefined and agreed boundaries. But would you apply the term lady to a female Dom? I don't think many would. Which is why I prefer the term ethical Dom
The term for a women is Domme
Any Dom of any gender should work within SSC as a baseline, if they don’t, run!
They’re not ethical and don’t deserve the title or anyone’s submission "And preferably RACK or FRIES over SSC As some of the things we do are neither sane nor often safe. We just make them as safe as we can | |||
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" I get where you are coming from, I genuinely do. But it's also down to the submissive to do their own research. It's their own health and safety they are risking and thus important they do their own research. I'm a sub and I research everything I do or have done to me as much as the Dom. And this I personally isn't highlighted enough. " Absolutely agree with you. The problem is far more prevalent with new subs, as they come in excited to try things and say things like “I have no limits”, don’t research things and often suffer regret from a play session. Experienced subs (which I’m guessing is what you are) know what to do and what to look for. I think when you get two inexperienced people it can lead to a lot of problems in extreme cases. | |||
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"If be gentleman, you mean ethical, genuine, open, honest, caring and attentive - then that is what a Dom should be, regardless of gender! That doesn’t mean they cannot be Dominant, primal, brutal, remorseless - it means they operate within predefined and agreed boundaries. But would you apply the term lady to a female Dom? I don't think many would. Which is why I prefer the term ethical Dom
The term for a women is Domme
Any Dom of any gender should work within SSC as a baseline, if they don’t, run!
They’re not ethical and don’t deserve the title or anyone’s submission "Not all female D like the word Domme. The ones I've encountered don't and have explained to me why, which is why I use their preferred terminology. Not sure I understand why you added the bit about SSC, and ethical Dom's. But as I've mentioned elsewhere it's up to everyone D or s to do their own research and figure out what ethical means to them, before they start their BDSM journey. | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. " PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. " There's a risk that BDSM will sink under the weight of acronyms  | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. " Can you send me the PowerPoint slides? | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. There's a risk that BDSM will sink under the weight of acronyms "Without a doubt, which is why I use the word ethical as it covers pretty much everything when dealing with BDSM. | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. There's a risk that BDSM will sink under the weight of acronyms "Haha. I'm dyslexic they mean bog all to me, they're a jumble of letters  | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. Can you send me the PowerPoint slides?" https://youtu.be/_PjoQ41B2IU LAM Live workshop on consent and negotiation There are a whole host of workshop videos on there, some with PowerPoints | |||
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"Can a dom be a gentleman? " • I've already enquired, higher up... ^ | |||
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"SSC - Sane, safe and consensual RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink FRIES - Freely-given, Reversible, Informed, Enthusiastic and Specific. PRICK - Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink More emphasis on personal responsibility. Consent should always be FRIES and it works for submissive’s as well as Dominant’s. Can you send me the PowerPoint slides? https://youtu.be/_PjoQ41B2IU LAM Live workshop on consent and negotiation There are a whole host of workshop videos on there, some with PowerPoints "Thank you I will actually take a look the appliance of science! | |||
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"Can a Dom be a Gentleman?
Not at that particular moment "It's a fair point. | |||
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"In my opinion a 'Dom' is the ultimate gentleman in that he can get into the mind and help me explore all that my heart desires in ways that I never have the courage to do on my own "If that's your definition of a gentleman - I completely agree. Although I think that has more to do with empathy. | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. " I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? " Balder dash! - it is not the victims fault but the perpetrators. | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? Balder dash! - it is not the victims fault but the perpetrators. " Rubbish. Take sine personal responsibility who you meet of the internet and fuck | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? " Really respect what you said there about knowing you well. There's no better way of ensuring safety, in my eyes, than connection. I have to feel that way about them too. I am not interested in anything without that, especially where there is a risk of someone being hurt. Saying there's no limits won't change that. | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? Balder dash! - it is not the victims fault but the perpetrators. " Women are sentient beings, if they have made that conscious decision to say anything goes, there does need to be some acknowledgement of that. I'm switch. I completely understand the desire to say anything goes. I discuss limits openly with a potential partner and get to know them. If I gave carte blanche and got injured I wouldn't claim I was a victim. | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? Balder dash! - it is not the victims fault but the perpetrators. Rubbish. Take sine personal responsibility who you meet of the internet and fuck " I mean you could have ended at 'take personal responsibility' As I've said above, I believe anyone playing with BDSM (irrespective of orientation) should have a good grasp of the basics of what ever play you're indulging in... Along with anatomy and first aid. The only person I can rely on to look out for myself is me. Don't get me wrong, my partner has my ultimate trust, I trust him with my life (and have done on more than one occasion not all kink related) but it's up to me to speak out if something doesn't feel right or if I have concerns. Mostly because no bugger else will ever know how something feels *to me*. It's the same for anyone bottoming. (let's not gender this, anyone can bottom and believe me any gender can present themselves with 'no limits' although in my experience that's always overly eager and horny men rather than women or enby people) | |||
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"You don’t have to be super alpha and aggressive to be a dom. You just need to be able to get inside someone’s head and push the right buttons. Communication is a good start. Remember at its core D/s is a two way street and the whole thing is built on a combination between creating a sense of vulnerability, trust and desire." If only most men calling themselves Dom recognised this. | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? Balder dash! - it is not the victims fault but the perpetrators. Rubbish. Take sine personal responsibility who you meet of the internet and fuck " Frida and LadyJayne made the point without attacking women. | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? " And you probably encounter that because you are a straight male. I get plenty of messages from men saying they have no limits and I can do what I like to them. But I'm not naive enough to think it's anything based on gender. There are so many misconceptions of what Ds is that it's not surprising people get the wrong end of the stick when they start out. As a responsible adult I tend to point out where they can do some research of they end up in my inbox. I don't generalise and say lots of women, thereby adding to the good subs don't question nonsense and such like | |||
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"Define a Dom. There’s hundreds profiles on here that all claim to be one. Since BDSM became “on trend” many guys have just seen being a Dom as a way to get women, even though they have no experience (or in some cases even an interest in bdsm) which can lead to safety issues. We’ve met ladies that have been left with nerve damage after being tied up by someone with no idea what they were doing. I would say the woman who allows that also has no idea what they are doing with bdsm. Sure there are idiot men , but they exist in part because there are idiot women willing to let complete strangers do stuff like that. Lots of women give you free reign nowadays, to do literally anything you want , I’ve often been told nothing is off limits but I’d hope it’s because they know me so well or at least that I know how to do column ties that tighten on themselves not the limb ! Surely women should know rope 101 so they can spot that ? Balder dash! - it is not the victims fault but the perpetrators. Rubbish. Take sine personal responsibility who you meet of the internet and fuck I mean you could have ended at 'take personal responsibility' As I've said above, I believe anyone playing with BDSM (irrespective of orientation) should have a good grasp of the basics of what ever play you're indulging in... Along with anatomy and first aid. The only person I can rely on to look out for myself is me. Don't get me wrong, my partner has my ultimate trust, I trust him with my life (and have done on more than one occasion not all kink related) but it's up to me to speak out if something doesn't feel right or if I have concerns. Mostly because no bugger else will ever know how something feels *to me*. It's the same for anyone bottoming. (let's not gender this, anyone can bottom and believe me any gender can present themselves with 'no limits' although in my experience that's always overly eager and horny men rather than women or enby people)" Well said. My personal experience is slight different to yours, but totally agree with your point. | |||
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"Surely the steely grip in a velvet glove is the ultimate domination? " I don't want to derail the "lovely" discussion that is occurring... But that statement is hot as fuck. | |||
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"Surely the steely grip in a velvet glove is the ultimate domination? I don't want to derail the "lovely" discussion that is occurring... But that statement is hot as fuck." God I love a woman who can diffuse with humour. That's hot as fuck too | |||
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"Surely the steely grip in a velvet glove is the ultimate domination? I don't want to derail the "lovely" discussion that is occurring... But that statement is hot as fuck. God I love a woman who can diffuse with humour. That's hot as fuck too "
Thank you kindly | |||
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"Surely the steely grip in a velvet glove is the ultimate domination? I don't want to derail the "lovely" discussion that is occurring... But that statement is hot as fuck. God I love a woman who can diffuse with humour. That's hot as fuck too
Thank you kindly "Shopping for those grip exerciser things and velvet gloves. | |||
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"Surely the steely grip in a velvet glove is the ultimate domination? I don't want to derail the "lovely" discussion that is occurring... But that statement is hot as fuck." I resemble that remark. | |||
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"Surely the steely grip in a velvet glove is the ultimate domination? Manners and respect whilst completely controlling a situation is the remit of a true gentleman. " Only if his sub is in the right mindset at the time. The ability to stop if anything doesn't feel right is very important, too many on both sides, carry on when they shouldn't | |||
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