FabSwingers.com forum: Bad News

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A few of you may have seen a few threads over the last few months from my wife about her father's cancer and kidney condition,Yesterday we had the bad news that there is nothing more they can do for his cancer and that there stopping his dyalisis,due to his bowel internaly bleeding,dad's kidneys have zero function now ,so basically they've said he has a few weeks left,but this is going to be a few weeks of intense pain for him,as he slowly fills with blood,and his organs shut down one by one.Why on earth in this day and age cant they help dad go peacefully without any pain, which is what he wants to do.If dad was an animal they would have done this weeks ago.sorry for the rant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/13 07:50:54]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Same happens to husband gran hang on in there , sending a big hug xxx"
thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending a big hug xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear your bad news, its frustrating and upsetting to watch a loved one in pain.Sending all my love and thoughts and prayersxx

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By *aceytopWoman
over a year ago

from a town near you

there isnt anything under the cirumstances to say that will make it any better for all of you,except you have my profound sympathy and good thoughts for everyone,keep strong xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So sorry to hear your bad news, its frustrating and upsetting to watch a loved one in pain.Sending all my love and thoughts and prayersxx"
its awful,and thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/01/13 07:57:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the medical staff will up his pain-killers as they don't like to see anyone suffer unnecessarily either.

I hope it ends peacefully for her dad and you both. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In such situations euthanasia should be allowed anything less is just plan cruel leaving a person to die in pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to read sending you love and you guys are in my thoughts big hugs to u xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very sad news. My thoughts are with you and yours. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having recently lost my mother to cancer , would just wish to say that our thoughts are with you in this difficult time .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

there not doing anything more,he's on everything he can possibly be on honey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"there not doing anything more,he's on everything he can possibly be on honey

Be strong, don't dwell on what he has become, remember what he was and smile about the good times. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this, but as someone who works in pallative care they will give him the strongest drugs going that he will barely be concious at the end xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To go back to the OP you are right we wouldn't let a dog suffer like that.

There needs to be a change in the law to allow people to choose when to end their lives when no more can be done. I watched my aunt die slowly in pain whilst begging for someone to end her life.

I would urge anyone who feels the same to write to their MP asking for a change in the law.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts are with you at this terrible, sad time.. x

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"To go back to the OP you are right we wouldn't let a dog suffer like that.

There needs to be a change in the law to allow people to choose when to end their lives when no more can be done. I watched my aunt die slowly in pain whilst begging for someone to end her life.

I would urge anyone who feels the same to write to their MP asking for a change in the law."
With respect, i feel that politics of Euthanasia be left off the thread as it wont help the OPs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sad and very sorry to hear your news, hope they can make him as comfortable as possible. Thoughts are with you xx

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"So sorry to hear this, but as someone who works in pallative care they will give him the strongest drugs going that he will barely be concious at the end xxx"

A relative of mine died before Xmas of cancer and there was nothing they could do so they sent her home to die but with a morphine pump or something and I understand that the morphine reduced the pain considerably. She died in her sleep or when she was unconscious. No matter how horrible this situation is for you at the moment you will get through it. My thoughts are with you. Steve.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Marijuana is supposed to have soothing effects on people in severe pain, I don't see why terminally ill people shouldn't be allowed to go out on high if they so wish.

I hope his passing is as painless as possible, take some comfort from the fact that once it's over he'll never know pain again.

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester

Thoughts are with you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mother died of ovarian cancer. Her suffering at the end was unbearable to see. 6 days before she died, they withdrew fluids so basically she died of thirst and in terrible pain.

On the other hand, my cat got a lump in her face, the vet told us that it was cancer and that it was better to put her to sleep BEFORE she started to suffer...

I hope your father in law has peace and is pain free at the end. My best wishes to you and your family at this difficult and very sad time x

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Thoughts are with you. Hugs xx

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

Our thoughts are with you....xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this thoughts are with u Hun x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It makes me really sad when I read things like this. I watched my dad die of cancer. Some 16yrs ago now. And that in all that time. The law has not changed. To aid a less painful death. I have the greatest respect for the nurses that work in this field. But there is only so much pain relief that works.

My thoughts are with you at such a sad time.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP - don't you worry about ranting, you need to get this off your chest. I think it's shameful that in this day and age, we cannot have a proper open and adult debate on this and face up to realities.

Until we completely separate church and state in this country, it won't happen. This is one of the things which made me an atheist - would any God see his creation suffer at the end of it's life? No. So who the hell is anyone 'in the Church' to dictate through archaic laws to anyone that they should not do the right thing and help someone, who is beyond help, pass from this life...?

You know we are all here to offer what support we can....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear your sad news

Ask the medical/nursing team to refer to palliative care for symptom and pain management. No one should be in pain. There is excellent pain relief out there.

Hugs to you and yours xxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

THANK YOU ALL,for your comments and well wishes,its a massive comfort to my wife xxxxxxxxxx

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

The same shit happened to my Mum. It was torture for her and us.

Get through to the other side with the help of each other, it aint easy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There isn't anything under the cirumstances to say that will make things any better, except to say you have our Sincere sympathy, thoughts and Prayers are with you and your family!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry for the pain your all going through.

I understand where your coming from and agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same thing happened to my dad. My thoughts are with you - huge hugs xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In such situations euthanasia should be allowed anything less is just plan cruel leaving a person to die in pain.

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By *ucsparkMan
over a year ago

dudley

As a family we have spoken about this subject and still have not come to a result we all agree on.

Hope your father in law finds peace soon and the only memories u all have are good ones

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi all,just an Update on my dad,he's still hanging on in there and were now fighting with the council to make sure the gritters grit the estate roads where he lives as last week he missed 2 dyalisis appointments as the Ambulance couldnt get anywhere near his home

but most of all thanks again for all the well wishes and kind comments xxx

Ali xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sad news and i hope they can keep him as comfortable as possible.

sending a great big hug to you and yours ((((( hugs)))))

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

if you ever need someone to vent at about anything then feel free to pm me at anytime chick xxxx

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

As you know i can fully empathize. I hope he goes as peacefully and dignified as is possible. Thinking of youxxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

hi everyone,just an update on things,Alis dad is still fighting his cancer ,but as a few of you know Her mum was admitted to hospital a few days ago ,but today after her ct scan,weve had the news she has a huge tumour on her liver that they cant do anything with,i suppose im just posting this really to say a BIG BIG THANK YOU to everyone for there kind well wishes and prayers weve had constantly these past few month ,once again everyone THANKS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Omg, sooo sorry to hear this on top of everything else. Sending a hug seems so little for what you are going through, but it comes from the heart, hugs and kisses both xxx

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

A really difficult time for all of you. Hug from me x

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By *icky55Man
over a year ago

Warm an cosy cave. Brist

"A few of you may have seen a few threads over the last few months from my wife about her father's cancer and kidney condition,Yesterday we had the bad news that there is nothing more they can do for his cancer and that there stopping his dyalisis,due to his bowel internaly bleeding,dad's kidneys have zero function now ,so basically they've said he has a few weeks left,but this is going to be a few weeks of intense pain for him,as he slowly fills with blood,and his organs shut down one by one.Why on earth in this day and age cant they help dad go peacefully without any pain, which is what he wants to do.If dad was an animal they would have done this weeks ago.sorry for the rant.

"
.

I'm sorry to hear of your father in law, I had the same last month, but was fortunate enough that he could have as much morphine as he wanted. but it's still a horrible thing to watch some one go through. my best wishes for you both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hugs, cuddles and lots of love to u both xxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awww that's so sad

big hugs to you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts and love go out to you in you hours of need. So sorry to hear the bad news

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry to hear of your news!

We can only say our thoughts,prayers and best wishes are with you and your family!

S&B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You certainly haven't had your troubles to seek either of you.

I send you huge hugs. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear your sad news.... I hope things develop with a minimum of suffering and your time together rewards you with the comfort of knowing you've done your all for those who’s love you’ve shared...

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By *B9 QueenWoman
over a year ago

Over the rainbow, under the bridge

I often felt like that about my mother who suffered with the MS which killed her for nearly 30 years.

However, it is certainly not what she wanted and was able to quite clearly say so. We gave her, therefore, the best quality of life we could, fighting doctors, social workers, et al, in order to keep her in her own home and not be just shut away until her body finally gave up.

A lot of the time she was in pain but she faced it all with fortitude.

In these cases, the person whose life it is is the only one who can say what they want or need. Anyone else's opinions are irrelevant to it. It's their life what little there is.

That said, nevertheless, if the person has decided they can take no more and are ready to die, then they should have that option.

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By *azzaahhWoman
over a year ago

north wales / chester

Thinking of you and sensing big hugs in the really terrible time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear yet more sad news for you both....thoughts and hugeee virtual hugs xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is so awful.i feel so sorry for you all. Like others have said they will your dad a massively high dose of drugs so that he will not be aware of what is going on and wont suffer. Thinking of you x

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

how horrible for you. sometimes the painkillers have the side effect of shortening life so perhaps he wont be suffering for too long. my best wishes and hugs to you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our hearts go out to you, we have been in a similar situation twice. Xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Update on Ali's mum...doctor has just said she will pass away within the next hour,she's totally comfortable and pain free now but slowly just shutting down bless her,,so just taking this chance again as we may not be online for a few days to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH INDEED from the bottom of our hearts to everyone who has sent heart felt sympathies and prayers to my Wife at this very hard time for her

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Thoughts and prayers with you all xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

xxxx

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

So sorry, thinking of you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So sorry to hear this, but as someone who works in pallative care they will give him the strongest drugs going that he will barely be concious at the end xxx"

I agree with this post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking of you all on this sad day.....prayers go with you x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Update on Ali's mum...doctor has just said she will pass away within the next hour,she's totally comfortable and pain free now but slowly just shutting down bless her,,so just taking this chance again as we may not be online for a few days to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH INDEED from the bottom of our hearts to everyone who has sent heart felt sympathies and prayers to my Wife at this very hard time for her

"
my prayers with you and family right now. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry to hear and it is frustrating that they let people suffer with out the freedom of making their own choices,hope its as quick and painless as it can be for all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking of you xxx

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By *hole Lotta RosieWoman
over a year ago

Deviant City

So sorry to hear such sad news. Best wishes xxxx

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By *ea and SugarCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Thinking of you both x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Corinthians 13:13. Stay strong and cherish what moments you all have left together. Tell them you love them, hold them and feel their touch. Keep those memories safe, as they are the ones that will keep you going in your darkest hour. My best wishes are with you in this awful time. I truly hope things improve. Munchie. X

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By *uke olovingmanMan
over a year ago

Gravesend

thinking of you xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking of you at this difficult time, will pray for you all, god bless xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i went through the same thing with my Dad, its not easy but now is the time to come together and be there for him as well as each other

stay strong xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Corinthians 13:13. Stay strong and cherish what moments you all have left together. Tell them you love them, hold them and feel their touch. Keep those memories safe, as they are the ones that will keep you going in your darkest hour. My best wishes are with you in this awful time. I truly hope things improve. Munchie. X"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stay strong !! My thoughts go out....

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

All the best to you and your family.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

so sorry to hear of this terrible news . hopefully his suffering wont last too long and he can be at peace .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are in our thoughts xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really sorry to hear about the sad news thoughts are with you and the family xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear yr news ....thoughts are with you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have been through this with a past partner - he wont feel pain they will give him morphine - talk to the macmillan nurses that will visit daily - they have a lot of sway over medication etc (at least they did with him ) - i feel for you dreadfully and wish you all a quick release xxxxxx hugs sue xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to here the bad news! My mum went the same way

hardest thing iv done was watch her go

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ali's mam has just passed away at 5:20,once again may i say thanks for everyones support and kind wishes,Ali is fine just pleased her mum is no longer suffering

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By *hundercats69Couple
over a year ago

CT14

So sorry to read about both your wife's mum and dad. Hope this afternoon has passed peacefully and comfortably and holding you both, particularly your wife in my thoughts

Mrs x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeez, both of them? So close together. What a shit piece of bad luck. I don't know you well enough to know if Ali's parents are still together but if they are it's a blessing that they'll go together figuratively speaking. It must be an awful thing to go through as a family and you have my heartfelt sympathies.

There is a time for grieving, and a time for sadness but there is also a time of remembrance and a time for fond memories. I wish you a long time for the latter two and a short time for the former two.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

Thoughts are with you both x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking of both of you xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i wish you peace S xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Deepest sympathy and I wish you both strength at this time.

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