FabSwingers.com forum: Your own worst enemy!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better? "

No. But that's because ultimately I think life is meaningless and it's here to be enjoyed and not taken seriously. We are all just apes with brains probably too powerful for our own good. Try not to upset people but otherwise be you.

Realise others, everyone here and in the wider world, are also shit at things and no one is perfect no matter how much people may think they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like the spot light effect.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Sometimes, I probably am.

But I'm a lot better at recognising when I'm being unnecessarily hard on myself and taking the steps to rectify that. And I'm a lot happier for it.

And sometimes someone pops up to remind me that there are, in fact, infinitely worse people with infinitely more genuine malicious intent towards me. So I get to feel like I'm not my worst enemy then too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I am.

I have ruined several friendships on here by my own actions

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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

Have imposter syndrome when it comes to work and the anxiety that comes with it can be quite crippling.

Other than that I’m confident in myself, but very grounded.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better? "

No one else wants to be in my head, I like it in there.

Erm...

Er.....

Oh.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm probably going to overshsre here. I apologise.

I am my own harshest critic. My opinion on certain aspects of myself is beyond low. Negative self talk and self doubt have been constant companions to me over the years. I would never treat anyone the way I treat myself sometimes.

All that being said, I'm not a 'negative Nancy' I'm actually quite a positive person, full of hope and kindness.

Sometimes I think I'm partly the way I am as a weird form of protection. If I already think the bad stuff about me, it won't hurt as much when others do. After all bad stuff is always easier to believe.

In years gone by it used to hold me back quite a bit. Having no confidence is hard. I've never felt the need to compensate with bravado though, I often use self depreciating humour to deflect though.

I can fake confidence in most situations, I 'wing it ' frequently.

I do compare myself to others a lot, I'm often convinced that others are better than me.

None of this is for people to turn round and say nice things bye, but I reckon lots of people feel like this from time to time and we all have to navigate it as best we can.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better? "
my worth is all i have and i believe in it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better?

No one else wants to be in my head, I like it in there.

Erm...

Er.....

Oh....."

I bet it’s like a holiday in there… all sunshine and happy thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately I am my own worst enemy

Things happen for reason I guess

Mental health and medical issues as well does not help

Never felt like this in my life before

But people do help in there own little ways

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By *ilsaGeorgeCouple
over a year ago

kent

I’m a quietly confident and assured person. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I know that I am kind and decent, yet flawed, and not immune to making the occasional mistake. I don’t beat myself up about things I cannot control, and I don’t hate aspects of myself.

I wasn’t always like this. I have been made to feel worthless, and far worse. My experiences have led me to question the motives and sincerity of other people. I don’t trust easily anymore, and that makes getting close to new people difficult. learning to have a little faith is something I’m still trying to overcome.

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By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

glasgow-ish

"I'm probably going to overshsre here. I apologise.

All that being said, I'm not a 'negative Nancy' I'm actually quite a positive person, full of hope and kindness.

In years gone by it used to hold me back quite a bit. Having no confidence is hard. I've never felt the need to compensate with bravado though, I often use self depreciating humour to deflect though.

I can fake confidence in most situations, I 'wing it ' frequently.

I do compare myself to others a lot, I'm often convinced that others are better than me.

None of this is for people to turn round and say nice things bye, but I reckon lots of people feel like this from time to time and we all have to navigate it as best we can. "

I could have typed most of that. Extremely harsh on myself

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I am pretty self-accepting, which can sometimes be interpreted as me being a dick. It's true I am sometimes. I don't allow people to project their insecurities onto me.

I have one major Achilles heel I can do very little about (other than explain where it comes from) and that's when someone is very nervous about meeting or sex and they cycle between being full on and withdrawing. If we meet socially and become comfortable it's fine, but things can breakdown if that takes too long.

Can't do fake it to make it. I think you have to accept yourself to change, a paradox I know. I do best with people with a similar mindset.

I think everyone, including myself has inherent worth. That doesn't mean I like everyone or desire them to like me.

Oh yeah I did punish myself a long time ago. Had rescuer syndrome, it was always about my partner's needs at the expense of my own. Can't go back there, needs to be both ways or not at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Have imposter syndrome when it comes to work and the anxiety that comes with it can be quite crippling.

Think had this when I did work.

Other than that I’m confident in myself, but very grounded."

Unfortunately I am the opposite, low in confidence and harder on myself than others are and often don't see in me what they see

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I'm probably going to overshsre here. I apologise.

All that being said, I'm not a 'negative Nancy' I'm actually quite a positive person, full of hope and kindness.

In years gone by it used to hold me back quite a bit. Having no confidence is hard. I've never felt the need to compensate with bravado though, I often use self depreciating humour to deflect though.

I can fake confidence in most situations, I 'wing it ' frequently.

I do compare myself to others a lot, I'm often convinced that others are better than me.

None of this is for people to turn round and say nice things bye, but I reckon lots of people feel like this from time to time and we all have to navigate it as best we can. "

Hard to be hurt if you set low expectations for yourself?

You have an abundance of likeable qualities for me. Humour to deflect has me in stitches. Self-doubt clashes with my stuff though.

I get that you aren't seeking praise, but being open that's admirable too.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"He does not seem to realise that we cannot help a boy who will not help himself. Quite the laziest boy in the school" (Headmaster's report, a long time ago)

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Yes I am.

I have ruined several friendships on here by my own actions "

Don't be too hard on yourself man at least you own it. People who don't never learn.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better? "

I am the world's worst at being hard on myself. I've been through quite a lot of shit, my self esteem is poor and I'm very insecure. I am, however, ninja level expert at coming across as confident and like someone who has her shit together. Things are better than they were, though. I spend a fortune on counselling to sort my wee head out, and I ask myself on an almost daily basis wtf Mr even sees in me. Which is stupid. So, yeah - I should probably give myself a bit more credit

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm probably going to overshsre here. I apologise.

All that being said, I'm not a 'negative Nancy' I'm actually quite a positive person, full of hope and kindness.

In years gone by it used to hold me back quite a bit. Having no confidence is hard. I've never felt the need to compensate with bravado though, I often use self depreciating humour to deflect though.

I can fake confidence in most situations, I 'wing it ' frequently.

I do compare myself to others a lot, I'm often convinced that others are better than me.

None of this is for people to turn round and say nice things bye, but I reckon lots of people feel like this from time to time and we all have to navigate it as best we can. "

This I can most certainly relate too thank you for sharing

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I expect too much from myself, which adds too much pressure.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

"How in your own head are you?

Do you doubt your worth/think the ones around you deserve more?

Do you bravado over it with a false ego?

Do you punish yourself whilst treating everyone like they're better? "

I have done this for years, and probably years to come. The only times I have confidence, is when I am on the bikes, cycling or motorbike and occassionally when dressed as Rachel. It is like having a mask to hide behind, so no one can see the real me.

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