FabSwingers.com forum: Messages

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?"

It may not be the messages.

We, as many do, will view a profile before even opening a message. If there's either nothing in there picture or content wise in the text that interests and attracts us, or something that puts us off, then we won't even answer the message.

It'll be deleted and the profile blocked to stop future incoming mail.

If you'd like feedback on your profile you'll have to ask for it though, as them's the forum rules!

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

Firstly welcome to the forums

To be fair you have four verifications in 9 months. In Fab terms, that is doing ok.

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By *hareWithMeUKMan
over a year ago

Hemel Hempstead

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?

It may not be the messages.

It'll be deleted and the profile blocked to stop future incoming mail.

If you'd like feedback on your profile you'll have to ask for it though, as them's the forum rules!

This is really useful!

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

The main reasons I ignore messages is because they're boring bland small talk or a crude dick first attempt to grab attention.

The people I respond to are the ones that have something actually interesting to say, that seems to relate to something I've said on my profile or in the forums, so is less likely to be a spray and pray hurled at every viable female.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I just putting a similar post in forum u der the advice section to ask others to view profile, give feedback, help and tips. Any and all would be much appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't message anyone.

That'll teach them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's what I tend to do. See what's written in their profile, or if they have put a status up, and respond to it. Barely any replies though

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"That's what I tend to do. See what's written in their profile, or if they have put a status up, and respond to it. Barely any replies though"

Click on 'reply and quote' then we know who you are responding to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it does help having a well written profile but ultimately I belive people will only respond to you if they like the look of you....that's how it feels anyway lol

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"That's what I tend to do. See what's written in their profile, or if they have put a status up, and respond to it. Barely any replies though"

It helps if you hit the quote and reply so people know who you're responding to.

Then you're possibly not their type. Do you match their preferences? Do they match yours?

I'll ignore messages from people who have won't meet smokers on their profile, or whose profile makes it obvious we're incompatible, or who have nothing on their profile.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"That's what I tend to do. See what's written in their profile, or if they have put a status up, and respond to it. Barely any replies though

It helps if you hit the quote and reply so people know who you're responding to.

Then you're possibly not their type. Do you match their preferences? Do they match yours?

I'll ignore messages from people who have won't meet smokers on their profile, or whose profile makes it obvious we're incompatible, or who have nothing on their profile."

One of the most recent I have messaged asked for a guy with a specific height, build, clean shaven etc which I was basically a tick to every box. Still said no thanks

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"I just putting a similar post in forum u der the advice section to ask others to view profile, give feedback, help and tips. Any and all would be much appreciated "

Well since you've just asked here....;)

The pixelated face pic is pointless (but I see you've added a full one so skip that bit

), but in terms of images it would help to add a few body shots both clothed and unclothed. People like to see the full package so to speak.

To me it was the text that would have meant a delete.

The references to rough play put me off - it may attract others of course so if that's what you really want then leave it, but some can be put off by any mention of dominance.

Saying you're 100% discreet should be unnecessary. Everyone should be and it's as pointless as saying you're 'genuine', 'professional' or 'not a timewaster'.

Aside from that? Not the worst I've seen by a long shot.

Good luck.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Hi op

Welcome to the forums

Being polite is just a courtesy having manners not a gate way. But connecting with those whom have similar interests does help and attraction needs to go both ways

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"That's what I tend to do. See what's written in their profile, or if they have put a status up, and respond to it. Barely any replies though

It helps if you hit the quote and reply so people know who you're responding to.

Then you're possibly not their type. Do you match their preferences? Do they match yours?

I'll ignore messages from people who have won't meet smokers on their profile, or whose profile makes it obvious we're incompatible, or who have nothing on their profile.

One of the most recent I have messaged asked for a guy with a specific height, build, clean shaven etc which I was basically a tick to every box. Still said no thanks"

There is still the physical attraction and profile compatibility to consider.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do theses messages contain op? G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the most recent I have messaged asked for a guy with a specific height, build, clean shaven etc which I was basically a tick to every box. Still said no thanks"

The Havvis and the Havvi nots.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What do theses messages contain op? G "

Depends on the woman/couple. I read theor profiles and respond to what they're seeking, if I think I am what they're looking for. I am polite. If their profile is blank I simply ask what/whom are they ideally looking for, to see if I am

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?"

Test you message skill on me and I'll tell you my thoughts and advice

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By *offiaCoolWoman
over a year ago

Kidsgrove

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?

Test you message skill on me and I'll tell you my thoughts and advice "

He has four verifications in nine months.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?

Test you message skill on me and I'll tell you my thoughts and advice "

"Hi James,

That's some penis you've got. I've nicked it and your profile text to use on my own. When does the legal action start?

Love

Pete"

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?

Test you message skill on me and I'll tell you my thoughts and advice

"Hi James,

That's some penis you've got. I've nicked it and your profile text to use on my own. When does the legal action start?

Love

Pete""

I know my penis is amazing .. I just looked down and it's still in my trousers so I'm not sure what you've nicked ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Updated my profile. Unsure if its better or worse

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Updated my profile. Unsure if its better or worse "

Looks good. Maybe add few interests of your own at beginning of the bio

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By *ub... girlWoman
over a year ago

worcester

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?"

I've sent you a private message.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"I seem to suck at getting replies. So I'm wondering if it's what I'm saying?

I've tried being polite, crude and everything in between.

Any help or advice, especially from women?

I've sent you a private message. "

Pretty sure he should have the message notification

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I am learning the ropes a bit as a single guy.

It's different here than on other sites where I just say something like hi, how are you? I consider that to be polite, more detail is presuming she's interested, in my opinion. Also, I don't really gel well with women who expect to be impressed. So I start as I mean to proceed. If they reply in kind, we get into a conversation. I kind of see that as a mutual start treating each other as equals.

For whatever reason you seem to have to skip that step here. I usually go straight to what it is in their profile that intrigued me. I don't usually bother with complimenting looks I assume they are fed up with that by now.

In honesty it's rare I find anything that intriguing in the profiles. But there are a few. I get a reasonable response rate, but that impress me vibe comes across often and that puts me off. I did find someone about a week ago and I was smitten, chatted for a bit, but she had COVID and was unwell. I was already distracted by someone else, she 180'd. Both have fizzled. Shit happens man.

I guess what I am saying is be discerning actually think about who they are and why you like them, put that into words. Take a bit time with it.

There's some with one line that says I need a good fucking. That seems simple enough if that's your thing?

Wtf do I know all I got for you man good luck.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am learning the ropes a bit as a single guy.

I guess what I am saying is be discerning actually think about who they are and why you like them, put that into words. Take a bit time with it.

There's some with one line that says I need a good fucking. That seems simple enough if that's your thing?

Wtf do I know all I got for you man good luck."

Thanks for the reply and I agree with everything you said and I pretty much do exactly the same

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