FabSwingers.com forum: The art of...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

good conversation.

Do you think you’ve mastered it? What makes you enjoy a conversation?

What makes you switch off during a conversation? Would you ever say 'I'm not enjoying this'?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

My attention span is rubbish, small talk just looses me.

A bit if humour however that'll keep my attention.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two people sharing thoughts, interests, hopes, dreams, frustrating moments and a few laughs. When you are both engaged, listening and genuinely interested in what the other has to say.

I switch off when people talk at me instead of to me. Those types that will talk about theirselves until their hearts content but couldn't give a fudge about your life. Yeah those people stink but everyone else I'm happy to conversate with.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I enjoy conversation most when there's a matched energy. Or not even matched, just seeing someone excited about something they're passionate about makes me genuinely happy.

I switch off when it feels like words are being said for the sake of there being words. Boring small talk, filling a gap, going through the polite motions instead of just getting to the meat of why we're talking at all.

Give me a happy comfortable silence over that shit. Or just get to the point

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

I think it’s being genuinely interested. Actively listening.

Part of it is an innate skill though. Some people are just naturally good communicators.

Personally I love a conversation with just about everyone. Perhaps not our accountant, but nearly everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the company. Having good conversation skills is great, but if the other people aren't engaging with you then it's never going to be a good conversation.

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By *aui.Man
over a year ago

around here

Its definitely one of my prerequisites for a meet so fingers crossed I can hold my own, but its not really for me to judge.

Various things make me enjoy chatting with someone obviously they need to be interesting and engaging, good stories are a must as is great body language.

A big turn off would be totally uninterested in anything but themselves or not being able to get a word in.

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Mastered it? Not at all, almost without exception, there's a little voice yelling "you're boring" at me anytime it's my turn to speak in a conversation

The switch off for me is slightly difficult to describe. It would be someone who talks constantly about themselves with an arrogant tone, less about what they enjoy or do, but surely about how great they are. Because the flip side is I like hearing people talk about things they enjoy

LvM

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By *osey WalesMan
over a year ago

Surrey

"I enjoy conversation most when there's a matched energy. Or not even matched, just seeing someone excited about something they're passionate about makes me genuinely happy.

Give me a happy comfortable silence over that shit. Or just get to the point

Kind of the same. I dont find those "uncomfortable" silences uncomfortable.

I work in central london often and the amount of one upmanship is funny, during conversations. People trying to out do each other is hillarious.

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

I don't think I've mastered it but think I've gotten better at it. I used to think asking questions was being nosey and I should mind my own business but I've found that I can bounce off them easier once I do as it looks like I'm taking an interest in them. It's a two way street though and if they give short answers or don't ask anything about me then the conversation is dead before you can start it.

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By *oystick-MCRMan
over a year ago

Manchester | London

I think so yes but I need you to remember one thing

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Hmm, I’d say so. I do enjoy good conversations but I find these days people just aren’t bothered.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Laceby

We both absolutely love a good conversation.

A good conversation should be answering and asking questions - showing interest in them, telling them things about you - finding out about common interests and developing a connection.

Conversations are the best thing for online chatting/flirting but a lot of people cannot converse on here. One or two word responses and never asking a question to carry on conversations.

I mean if you’ve not got one question to ask anyone when you start chatting then that’s a lack of imagination already

There’s something very exciting about a flowing conversation…

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"good conversation.

Do you think you’ve mastered it? What makes you enjoy a conversation?

What makes you switch off during a conversation? Would you ever say 'I'm not enjoying this'?"

What makes me enjoy? Randomness. The ability to go completely off tangent and natter about the most irrelevant, mundane, strange and bizarre things possible and yet still keep a conversation going fluidly for hours.

There's nothing worse than small talk that hits a brick wall and end in constant awkward silences. Or self indulgent, long winded tales of past experiences that become never ending stories about how amazing a life someone has apparently led.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Yes it's something I think I'm rather good at. But what I find is that that in order to have a good conversation you need two conversationalists.

I'll happy sit and chat with anyone, be it science geekery to a subject I've no idea about. I love learning new things so what someone else wants to talk about is irrelevant as long as they are open to questions.

Being a good conversationalist to me doesn't necessarily mean a good speaker or raconteur. They are two different things to me anyway.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"My attention span is rubbish, small talk just looses me.

A bit if humour however that'll keep my attention.

Mrs "

Small talk is a bit painful isn't it?

Of course Sue, do tell me about how it's about nippy outside. Couldn't think of anything more riveting and enriching in my life.

I struggle with small talk. I like things I can sink my teeth into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The art of war

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I find conversation natural especially in person. It's driven by a desire to understand them, I tend to take everything in, body language, eye contact, proximity, tone. Whether it's enjoyable depends on how well we tune into each other. Whether it feels mutual. Some people it's just there isn't it? That's why I don't think you can really know until you meet someone. And all the hypotheticals in the world won't change that.

Spontaneity is key, if it's unfiltered and occurs naturally it's more meaningful than a rehearsed line or joke. I'll talk for hours if it's like that and love it. Silences can speak volumes.

The major thing that puts me off is when people believe they know my mind better than I do. If they remain adamant on that: Feel free to slam the door on your way out. I have to take a hard stance on that one.

Other than that I'll go anywhere the conversation takes us usually.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I enjoy conversation with people I find interesting, the subject doesn't need to be deep or meaningful but the person or people I'm talking to need to not be too self absorbed.

I won't say outright that I don't want to continue but I have as recently as last week extricate myself from a conversation with two people that I found really dull and excluded from

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