FabSwingers.com forum: Self doubt

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Ever have one of those days when everything has seemed to be going well, someone has (or some people have) made you smile, and then out of nowhere the brain goblins wake up and start doing the "you're not good enough and he/she/they don't actually mean what they say" dance through your brain?

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Well you can write a decent sentence so it's a started for 10

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *affron40Woman
over a year ago

manchester

Ask the dogs. They always tell the truth.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Ask the dogs. They always tell the truth.

They're sulking because I won't let them steal my washing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Um.

I'm pretty bad for the brain goblins.

If ever a day is going really well for me you can bet they're there in the background with a looming sense of dread that I'm just kidding myself and it's all going to explode in my stupid face sooner rather than later.

I don't think I have a fix for it. I just do my best to ignore them and embrace those moments that prove them wrong with all of my heart

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Well you can write a decent sentence so it's a started for 10"

I can write a lot of sentences. I usually write more than that in fact.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Ever have one of those days when everything has seemed to be going well, someone has (or some people have) made you smile, and then out of nowhere the brain goblins wake up and start doing the "you're not good enough and he/she/they don't actually mean what they say" dance through your brain?

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be."

Listen to people over brain goblins any day of the week.

Brain goblins know jack shit.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Um.

I'm pretty bad for the brain goblins.

I don't think I have a fix for it. I just do my best to ignore them and embrace those moments that prove them wrong with all of my heart

That's far too much like me... I'm struggling with the figuring out the moments that prove them wrong right now.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Listen to people over brain goblins any day of the week.

Brain goblins know jack shit.

Mine know way too much. Especially how to give me doubts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how you feel Iv been there many times and will be many more.

It takes a lot nowadays for people to actually give you positive and kind words so take on board what they said.

The reason you care about what they have said is because you’re obviously a passionate person who cares what people think.

Embrace the good comments and never be embarrassed about receiving a well earned compliment.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

Totally understand what you mean, I’ve chatted to a few women on here over the years they always messaged first as I never send messages first and chatted a bit but ultimately convinced myself they way out my league.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine have taken up permanent residence so I'm basically no help at all.

Play loud music?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I'm so the wrong person to ask. As you know from helping put me back together again yesterday.

But you are lovely and I wish I could stomp on your brain goblins and squish those little fuckers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Listen to people over brain goblins any day of the week.

Brain goblins know jack shit.

Mine know way too much. Especially how to give me doubts"

Brain goblins don't like you interacting with others as it takes away their power.

Just engage with someone you know, whther by phone, app, or even just with someone on here and they'll go back to sleep because you're not paying them any attention.

They get bored easily and if you're focussed on someone being positive and happy they'll shut up.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's so hard but one thing I used to tell people to try was to physically say stop to the the thoughts and then ask the thoughts 'says who?' it might sound really silly but with practice it can help.

I was never into mindfulness but after trying it I realised its pretty powerful.

Sometimes those brain goblins need to be told to shut the f**k up because they are lying to you.

Hugs lovely. X

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

One of my guru's quotes

“One of the ego’s favorite paths of resistance is to fill you with doubt.” Ram Dass.

question your doubt and try and seperate yourself from it then look at it as a wintness.

You are great and worthy, ego is affraid of your greatness and sows the seeds of doubt, you are more then the doubt. You have proved that already.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm no good for you, F reassures me but mostly it's food the the bastard's

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

I’m a blunt communicator so apologies if this comes off a bit rude.

There’s likely a trigger for the self doubt and crazy brain so I would try figure that out.

Focus on the things that have been said, not what you think they mean, and give the person the benefit of trusting what they say is true.

If you know this person well enough maybe just open up to them and ask for a little reassurance? We all need it from time to time.

Lastly don’t be so hard on yourself, you got this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Oooh I'm possibly one of the worst to ask about this, those goblins are hard work

Maybe go back to the messages that made you smile - know they are from people who don't have to be nice. They are saying it because it is how they truly feel about you

Failing that music - but on something that will make you dance, sing and shake the hell out of those shitty goblins of doubt

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Just look after yourself

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ebootCouple
over a year ago

Telford

I (mr) suffer with imposter syndrome which is a horrid demon to fight within my career. Particularly when I’ve been in senior management roles.

Coincidentally I believe Winston Churchill suffered with it too.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

No, if my day is going well, it would take some kind of catastrophe to ruin it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *r-8-BBCMan
over a year ago

LONDON

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be."

What makes you not good enough and who are these people that is making you doubt yourself? How important are these people in your life ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubmissiveman2uMan
over a year ago

Cheshire

I always told my kids to create a "bad box" in their brain any negative thoughts, goblins and demons, throw them straight in and shut the box, and think of all the joy you bring to your friends and family.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Less caffeine!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"Less caffeine!

This is a REALLY good shout too!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

You know I meant it when I said you could have my nips for a necklace right?

I get you though Posh, some days, those meh times, it's hard to accept positive affirmation when you don't feel deserving or great about oneself.

Cherry x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *weetCherryWoman
over a year ago

London

I would love to be able to shine some light on the subject, but unfortunately I struggle with my own goblins as of right now…scared that everything that seems so beautiful might be just wanting to believe so, but hey, I hope both of our goblins are wrong!

Following the thread for the advice as well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

One of the things that has helped me a lot in being able to get through the goblins, was cutting out the people who caused me to think that way.

Sometimes the goblins have a little victory and I fall into the old thought patterns. But afterwards when those moments that prove them wrong happen, I can see exactly the people who made me feel like I was unworthy, and remember that they're not the people I adore.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah. Brian goblins? I just fuck myself over ever now and again with bad thoughts, so I have little advice to offer you Posh, apart from …

Those goblins, if they show up on Friday night, send them round to mine, I can set up strip poker and have someone to share a drink with.

Hopefully that made you chuckle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *night in armourMan
over a year ago

stafford

You read well good profile sexy pics you are good at diy and drilling lol

Think we all end up there at some point but believe in yourself you seem lovely person xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I have days like that and I have says when nothing phases me.

Irony is often on the days when nothing phases me I get hit out left-field right in the nuts.

Advice... I think the best I can give is that I try to remember that all the thinking in the world won't change something that you have no control over.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

‘The greatest enemy you will ever face will hide in the last place you ever look’ Your ego will make you think you are her, or him, everything you have ever achieved or failed at is the voice in your head, you are not your achievements, you are a living soul with the capacity to do great amazing things, your ego wants to hold you back so you can get a good watch at work and a shiny car because your ego needs a metric, it needs the boost when you get the promotion and it’s there to laugh at you when you fail, happiness on the other hand is not a metric despite what your ego will tell you, happiness leaves no room for ego, read that again ….. you are either happy or battling with your ego, modern society in one sentence so do what makes you truly happy I mean heart sing truly happy and you will never see those brain goblins again

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I know how you feel Iv been there many times and will be many more.

It takes a lot nowadays for people to actually give you positive and kind words so take on board what they said.

The reason you care about what they have said is because you’re obviously a passionate person who cares what people think.

Embrace the good comments and never be embarrassed about receiving a well earned compliment. "

That's the thing. I can do that... until those darned goblins come along and stomp on the embracing.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Totally understand what you mean, I’ve chatted to a few women on here over the years they always messaged first as I never send messages first and chatted a bit but ultimately convinced myself they way out my league."

That sucks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Mine have taken up permanent residence so I'm basically no help at all.

Play loud music? "

I tried that. The dogs howled...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Play with your tits in front of the mirror and really focus your gaze on the nipple area.

If I was a chick I’d do this as a ritual every morning and I’d never worry again.

Try not to overthink shit, I do it too, we probably all do sometimes.

You’re not alone with the feelings

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I'm so the wrong person to ask. As you know from helping put me back together again yesterday.

But you are lovely and I wish I could stomp on your brain goblins and squish those little fuckers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Listen to people over brain goblins any day of the week.

Brain goblins know jack shit.

Mine know way too much. Especially how to give me doubts

Brain goblins don't like you interacting with others as it takes away their power.

Just engage with someone you know, whther by phone, app, or even just with someone on here and they'll go back to sleep because you're not paying them any attention.

They get bored easily and if you're focussed on someone being positive and happy they'll shut up.

That's a good idea. The curse of overthinking and multitasking means that I can convince myself I'm being a burden to whomever I talk to though. That's why the forum is decent. I know I burden you lot anyway

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"It's so hard but one thing I used to tell people to try was to physically say stop to the the thoughts and then ask the thoughts 'says who?' it might sound really silly but with practice it can help.

I was never into mindfulness but after trying it I realised its pretty powerful.

Sometimes those brain goblins need to be told to shut the f**k up because they are lying to you.

Hugs lovely. X"

I can give the who names though. I just can't seem to remember that those people are fuckcrumpets of the highest order

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be."

Let the goblins talk to themselves. Laugh at them. They’re silly. And wrong

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"One of my guru's quotes

“One of the ego’s favorite paths of resistance is to fill you with doubt.” Ram Dass.

question your doubt and try and seperate yourself from it then look at it as a wintness.

You are great and worthy, ego is affraid of your greatness and sows the seeds of doubt, you are more then the doubt. You have proved that already."

What if I'm not though. Maybe the ego is right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I'm no good for you, F reassures me but mostly it's food the the bastard's "

Food? Haven't got that nonsense here. I can do a nice cup of tea?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m a blunt communicator so apologies if this comes off a bit rude.

There’s likely a trigger for the self doubt and crazy brain so I would try figure that out.

Focus on the things that have been said, not what you think they mean, and give the person the benefit of trusting what they say is true.

If you know this person well enough maybe just open up to them and ask for a little reassurance? We all need it from time to time.

Lastly don’t be so hard on yourself, you got this!"

I like blunt. And I appreciate the pre-apology, although it wasn't needed as I didn't see rudeness, only wiseness and caring.

It's hard to trust sometimes. Safer to hear the negative... at least it is consistent in it's hurtfulness.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Oooh I'm possibly one of the worst to ask about this, those goblins are hard work

Maybe go back to the messages that made you smile - know they are from people who don't have to be nice. They are saying it because it is how they truly feel about you

Failing that music - but on something that will make you dance, sing and shake the hell out of those shitty goblins of doubt

So... Taylor Swift?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Just look after yourself "

Easier said than done. But thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *olden PoleMan
over a year ago

Kent

Ah NSP I’m starting to doubt your loyalty to SE London and to me. A SE London girl is born out of necessity, to be head strong in all she does as the wishy washy types stumble around clumsily looking for satisfaction in the lair of the wolf. But it is you who must decide whether to stand up to the brain gobblings or disappear like a grain of sand in a desert of insignificance……to put it bluntly, your a Londoner so sort your shit out and get your priorities right.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I (mr) suffer with imposter syndrome which is a horrid demon to fight within my career. Particularly when I’ve been in senior management roles.

Coincidentally I believe Winston Churchill suffered with it too. "

It's been suggested I research that actually.

I'm sorry you suffer it. It is an appalling thing. I think Churchill may have got through it with alcohol though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

What makes you not good enough and who are these people that is making you doubt yourself? How important are these people in your life ? "

Well... it's my brain... so not very important really I guess.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I always told my kids to create a "bad box" in their brain any negative thoughts, goblins and demons, throw them straight in and shut the box, and think of all the joy you bring to your friends and family. "

I'm too much like Pandora though... I cant help but unlock it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Less caffeine!

I've been really good recently!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"You know I meant it when I said you could have my nips for a necklace right?

I get you though Posh, some days, those meh times, it's hard to accept positive affirmation when you don't feel deserving or great about oneself.

Cherry x

It really is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Try to think of all the times the brain goblins were wrong- which is most, if not all, of the times.

Reason it through: it always works out right, doesn’t it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I would love to be able to shine some light on the subject, but unfortunately I struggle with my own goblins as of right now…scared that everything that seems so beautiful might be just wanting to believe so, but hey, I hope both of our goblins are wrong!

Following the thread for the advice as well

I feel so guilty saying this, but it really helps knowing that it isn't just me. I hope both our goblins are wrong as well... and that we can shut them in the bin

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"One of the things that has helped me a lot in being able to get through the goblins, was cutting out the people who caused me to think that way.

I have cut the source of the goblins out of my life... I just struggle to cut them out of my head.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Ah. Brian goblins? I just fuck myself over ever now and again with bad thoughts, so I have little advice to offer you Posh, apart from …

Those goblins, if they show up on Friday night, send them round to mine, I can set up strip poker and have someone to share a drink with.

Hopefully that made you chuckle.

I'm sending them on Thursday. They need time to really settle in before the poker

And yes... I chuckled

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"You read well good profile sexy pics you are good at diy and drilling lol

Think we all end up there at some point but believe in yourself you seem lovely person xx"

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I have days like that and I have says when nothing phases me.

Irony is often on the days when nothing phases me I get hit out left-field right in the nuts.

Advice... I think the best I can give is that I try to remember that all the thinking in the world won't change something that you have no control over."

That's damn good advice. Thank you.

I feel that about the days when nothing phases you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"‘The greatest enemy you will ever face will hide in the last place you ever look’ Your ego will make you think you are her, or him, everything you have ever achieved or failed at is the voice in your head, you are not your achievements, you are a living soul with the capacity to do great amazing things, your ego wants to hold you back so you can get a good watch at work and a shiny car because your ego needs a metric, it needs the boost when you get the promotion and it’s there to laugh at you when you fail, happiness on the other hand is not a metric despite what your ego will tell you, happiness leaves no room for ego, read that again ….. you are either happy or battling with your ego, modern society in one sentence so do what makes you truly happy I mean heart sing truly happy and you will never see those brain goblins again "

That's the dream right there.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Oooh I'm possibly one of the worst to ask about this, those goblins are hard work

Maybe go back to the messages that made you smile - know they are from people who don't have to be nice. They are saying it because it is how they truly feel about you

Failing that music - but on something that will make you dance, sing and shake the hell out of those shitty goblins of doubt

So... Taylor Swift?

Yep - shake it off

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Play with your tits in front of the mirror and really focus your gaze on the nipple area.

If I was a chick I’d do this as a ritual every morning and I’d never worry again.

Try not to overthink shit, I do it too, we probably all do sometimes.

You’re not alone with the feelings

Thanks Sam.

One issue... my nipples are way too low to see in the mirror

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *weetCherryWoman
over a year ago

London

Following the thread for the advice as well

I feel so guilty saying this, but it really helps knowing that it isn't just me. I hope both our goblins are wrong as well... and that we can shut them in the bin

Don’t feel guilty! It’s understandable to find solace in knowing it’s a common occurrence

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Let the goblins talk to themselves. Laugh at them. They’re silly. And wrong"

I feel so silly having even posted this. It seems really self indulgent and all the advice feels like an easy fix.

I'm trying. Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Ah NSP I’m starting to doubt your loyalty to SE London and to me. A SE London girl is born out of necessity, to be head strong in all she does as the wishy washy types stumble around clumsily looking for satisfaction in the lair of the wolf. But it is you who must decide whether to stand up to the brain gobblings or disappear like a grain of sand in a desert of insignificance……to put it bluntly, your a Londoner so sort your shit out and get your priorities right.

Oh my god. That's the kick up the arse I'd have had from people I grew up with!

I mean... easier said than done but damn that's absolutely made me smile

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m not the right person to give any advice as I’m not too sure how to deal with them myself sometimes. I really hope your mood picks up a little and you start feeling better

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Try to think of all the times the brain goblins were wrong- which is most, if not all, of the times.

Reason it through: it always works out right, doesn’t it? "

Um... does it?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I have cut the source of the goblins out of my life... I just struggle to cut them out of my head. "

I don't know if they ever leave completely. I'm only a year out of the worst source of them, and it took me to the end of 2022 to finally cut loose the people that made me feel like I wasn't enough.

But they get quieter. When there's a few things dragging you down they'll probably still try and pile on for a while yet.

But you're awesome. You are enough. You deserve the happiness you feel in those moments before and after the goblins

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I’m not the right person to give any advice as I’m not too sure how to deal with them myself sometimes. I really hope your mood picks up a little and you start feeling better

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Play with your tits in front of the mirror and really focus your gaze on the nipple area.

If I was a chick I’d do this as a ritual every morning and I’d never worry again.

Try not to overthink shit, I do it too, we probably all do sometimes.

You’re not alone with the feelings

Thanks Sam.

One issue... my nipples are way too low to see in the mirror

Handstand and use your tongue

I can do it with my nob

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

Aw posh! Not sure I can offer much advice as the last couple years I’ve just been letting them win but I hope you get through it! You’re a badass after all! And that’s coming from me so it’s official!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ittlemissTinselTitsCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be."

Those brain goblins talk utter shine.. I have them too but one thing I try to do if they're being unruly is ask myself if I'd talk to my friends like that... answer is not... so be your own friend xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Mine are just part of my life now. They stop me doing so much. I can't even open my own mail as I over think what's in each letter. My mum comes round and opens it for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I have cut the source of the goblins out of my life... I just struggle to cut them out of my head.

I don't know if they ever leave completely. I'm only a year out of the worst source of them, and it took me to the end of 2022 to finally cut loose the people that made me feel like I wasn't enough.

But they get quieter. When there's a few things dragging you down they'll probably still try and pile on for a while yet.

But you're awesome. You are enough. You deserve the happiness you feel in those moments before and after the goblins

They do. They do quieten. On and off. And they pile on and on.

Thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Play with your tits in front of the mirror and really focus your gaze on the nipple area.

If I was a chick I’d do this as a ritual every morning and I’d never worry again.

Try not to overthink shit, I do it too, we probably all do sometimes.

You’re not alone with the feelings

Thanks Sam.

One issue... my nipples are way too low to see in the mirror

Handstand and use your tongue

I can do it with my nob

Flipping heck man. I'm dangerous on my feet. Never mind trying upside down!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

No their right

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Aw posh! Not sure I can offer much advice as the last couple years I’ve just been letting them win but I hope you get through it! You’re a badass after all! And that’s coming from me so it’s official!

Who could argue with a cockntequilaho after all

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Those brain goblins talk utter shine.. I have them too but one thing I try to do if they're being unruly is ask myself if I'd talk to my friends like that... answer is not... so be your own friend xx"

That's exactly the advice I give my friends. Why is it so hard to take that advice when I expect others to?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Mine are just part of my life now. They stop me doing so much. I can't even open my own mail as I over think what's in each letter. My mum comes round and opens it for me"

Oh sweetheart.

I hate that for you. All I can do is hope they give you some respite, sometimes. You are a strong woman. You really are. You've made it through 100% of your worst days. So you can absolutely make it through every one of your days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"Mine are just part of my life now. They stop me doing so much. I can't even open my own mail as I over think what's in each letter. My mum comes round and opens it for me

Oh sweetheart.

"
Thankyou. I do get a lot of support but I do know what's it's like and wish I could take it away from you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"No their right

You know what?

I and many others can be told good things, helpful things by 20 or more people, and they can be shouting as loud as they can manage.

One person comes in and whispers something negative, something nasty, something that echoes the negative in our heads, and suddenly that whisper becomes a scream, an echo, repeated over and over and drowning out the majority.

So thanks.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

"No their right

"
Why would you even say something like that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I let them decide that not me to decide it for them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know how you feel Iv been there many times and will be many more.

It takes a lot nowadays for people to actually give you positive and kind words so take on board what they said.

The reason you care about what they have said is because you’re obviously a passionate person who cares what people think.

Embrace the good comments and never be embarrassed about receiving a well earned compliment.

That's the thing. I can do that... until those darned goblins come along and stomp on the embracing."

Try making a note of the positives and why you’re getting them.

Sometimes I just take a moment to step back and take stock of things when it’s getting a bit much.

It helps me to clear my head and put things in perspective

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"No their right

The angel smiley doesn't make saying horrible things okay.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"No their right

The angel smiley doesn't make saying horrible things okay.

And it's they're

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Evict the brain goblins. They don't serve you well, and they only hinder. Their sole role is to make people miserable and doubt themselves. All they do is sabotage people and make them unhappy. Ditch those suckers, and tell them to go and find someone else to bother. Life is so much easier without the brain goblins. Wishing you peace

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters

You are already blessed in so many way. Focus on that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *agnar73Man
over a year ago

glasgow-ish

"No their right

You know what?

I and many others can be told good things, helpful things by 20 or more people, and they can be shouting as loud as they can manage.

So thanks."

Our minds can be horrendous things and no matter how much reassurance or praise or boosting that people on our side can provide, the mind will inevitably seek the doubt, the negative words and the slide/slump that it brings.

There’s many people out there that seem confident and glide through every day as they don’t have that little voice doubting themselves.

The thing is that they actually do, everyone does and it’s the finding ways to overcome that voice, to believe what people are genuinely saying and to accept praise when it’s genuinely meant.

For me, it’s maybe a case of making mistakes in front of others in my teens and being verbally slaughtered for it and thereafter being over cautious and defensive.

Still so difficult to accept praise and can only keep trying to keep doing things the way I do and allow myself to take that feedback when it’s genuinely meant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Let the goblins talk to themselves. Laugh at them. They’re silly. And wrong

I feel so silly having even posted this. It seems really self indulgent and all the advice feels like an easy fix.

I'm trying. Thank you

Not silly. Not self indulgent. And not an easy fix; if it were, we'd all be doing it.

I don't really have any answers: my goblins and I are very familiar with each other too, but I hope writing the post was helpful in itself.

What advice would you be writing if someone else had posted this? I don't mean that in a facetious way, but sometimes we need to listen to what we'd tell others...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No their right

Was reading from the bottom up and knew that comment would be you

helpful as ever

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Let the goblins talk to themselves. Laugh at them. They’re silly. And wrong

I feel so silly having even posted this. It seems really self indulgent and all the advice feels like an easy fix.

I'm trying. Thank you

It’s hard to say enough on here to be useful but there are a lot of talking therapies that suggest acknowledging that the voices are there and then looking at them as a separate thing. Let them sit and talk amongst themselves. Force your mind onto something else. When they come back, do the same again. Eventually their power will lessen and you’ll notice them being around less and less

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

That’s a tough one. I’m guessing brain goblins are your conscience? It’s ok to feel bad if we’ve messed up, not feeling bad when we have is a much more serious problem, so you’re ok! Each day we get chance to try and be the best version of ourselves again .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can only say imagine this were your mate and what you'd say to them if they were feeling this way .. Now replace your mate with yourself and say exactly the same things. Look at yourself in the mirror as you say positive things.

You gotta fake it to make it sometimes baby xxx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I’m pretty good at self doubt. Probably because I know and a useless piece of shit and a horrible cunt. So I’m really just agreeing with myself.

The mr

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cunnylassCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Do something worthwhile.That will banish the self-doubt!

Mike

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I really can't be arsed to read the entire thread, apologies if it's been mentioned already.

Is there something that's triggering it? It might be something small, some words that appeared inconsequential, minor inconsistent behaviour etc. I realised that I do have triggers that almost feed them. Take this past weekend. Zero self doubt. Zilch. And I've realised, it's because there's nothing making me doubt myself, even if really small.

More practical solutions? Talk to loved ones. People who remind you of your worth. I heard a lovely story recently of a friend who was having a wobble and she received a long voice note reminding her of her good points. Don't reach out to people who'll tell you you're being x, y and z bad qualities. Fuck that.

Yoga can help still the mind. Or going for a long walk in a forest. Phone off, listening to what's around you. Sometimes you can wank it out. Or sleep it out. Kitchen dance parties. Bake something you love. Give it to someone you care about.

And as daft as it sounds, talk to yourself as you would to a loved one. Write it down. We can be incredibly harsh critics sometimes and seeing on paper how unfair we're being does make you realise how self critical we are.

Hope they bugger off soon for you, x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be.

Let the goblins talk to themselves. Laugh at them. They’re silly. And wrong

I feel so silly having even posted this. It seems really self indulgent and all the advice feels like an easy fix.

I'm trying. Thank you

Not silly. Not self indulgent. And not an easy fix; if it were, we'd all be doing it.

I don't really have any answers: my goblins and I are very familiar with each other too, but I hope writing the post was helpful in itself.

What advice would you be writing if someone else had posted this? I don't mean that in a facetious way, but sometimes we need to listen to what we'd tell others..."

Yep. Not self indulgent at all.

The one thing that's been constant in all my time on Fab is that when people feel the need to vent there will be some good advice and support given amongst the humorous responses and the occasional comment that should have been typed in invisible Internet ink.

It's often much easier to vent and rant to virtual friends and strangers than those we know as there'll be less preconceived notions about any motivation or details than if you talk to close friends and family.

And there are always going to be others experiencing the same feelings, emotions and issues. We're all unique but we will all most likely experience many of the same issues in our lives so can help others from out own past experiences.

Hope things seem better this morning!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aughtySexualArousalMan
over a year ago

SPALDING

Yeah. So that.

Gimme some anti self doubt tips please fabbers. Because I'm pretty certain those brain goblins are right and I don't want them to be."

That's just me with day to day living

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread