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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Good morning good people of FAB.

What's the best way to deflect an angry goose?

One in the park by me is a right nark, and makes a bee line (or should that be a goose line?) for me every time

Any ideas?

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

Take a bag of peas with you and throw them at it.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Super soaker.

(I have no idea if this will work, but could you video it please )

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

sock over hand.

when it moves head to strike the sock goes over the head.

then you can do what you want with it.

apart from that throw some food for it

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By *helby_335Couple
over a year ago

Aberaeron

Grab it by neck and dominate it as it lunges, we have 2 on our lake that were supposed to be pets which are quite viscious - especially to the better half, me they respect & keep distance

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Swift back hand to the eyeball

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Wear fast trainers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fight it, or throw some food in it's direction

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Take a bag of peas with you and throw them at it. "

Do I need to take them out of the bag first?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How fast can you run?

One chased me around our local park and bit me a few years ago, I quite clearly wasn’t fast enough

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri

Get a rod and emu outfit and see if it gets scared off once an angry emu grabs it's mouth

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Good morning good people of FAB.

What's the best way to deflect an angry goose?

One in the park by me is a right nark, and makes a bee line (or should that be a goose line?) for me every time

Any ideas?

"
feed it

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"Super soaker.

(I have no idea if this will work, but could you video it please )"

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By *ister_ee_1981Man
over a year ago

Sunniest Exeter...

Pee on it, assert dominance..

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By *innie The Minx OP   Woman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"sock over hand.

when it moves head to strike the sock goes over the head.

then you can do what you want with it.

apart from that throw some food for it"

That's been my FAB technique generally tbh

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"Take a bag of peas with you and throw them at it.

Do I need to take them out of the bag first? "

That would help.

You don't have to cook them though.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London


"sock over hand.

when it moves head to strike the sock goes over the head.

then you can do what you want with it.

apart from that throw some food for it

That's been my FAB technique generally tbh "

Works on men.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

Simple - buy a Mother Goose costume and tell them off for being naughty

Please video this too

K

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire


"sock over hand.

when it moves head to strike the sock goes over the head.

then you can do what you want with it.

apart from that throw some food for it

That's been my FAB technique generally tbh "

i had heard that.

we use to keep geese to protect property, burglars hated them because they silently turn up on mass, start making a lot of noise and attack.

when they were taken away this guy did the sock thing to get them into the van.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Shoot the bastard.

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara


"Good morning good people of FAB.

What's the best way to deflect an angry goose?

One in the park by me is a right nark, and makes a bee line (or should that be a goose line?) for me every time

Any ideas?

"
maybe he has a thing for Girkins op

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

I think a hedge shears it the tool for this job,

Small enough to fit in your backpack and leaves enough room to transport dinner home with you,

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Kick it in the canal

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Show no fear!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When we had geese the only thing that *sometimes,* worked was to hold your arm up, bent at the elbow with your hand at right angles (like the shape you'd make to make a shadow bird) and make a sort of stabbing motion so it appears you're another goose being aggressive towards them.

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By *emofaJamesMan
over a year ago

London

At Uni it was goose gangland, enter their territory at your peril. All the students, myself included, dared not stray.. we all took the long way. 'El Goosio' must be respected.

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By *emofaJamesMan
over a year ago

London

Also... If you do get the upper hand. That's Christmas lunch sorted.

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By *uietguy689Man
over a year ago

Oxford


"Get a rod and emu outfit and see if it gets scared off once an angry emu grabs it's mouth"

Lol, thought this was going to suggest sticking your hand up its ar*e and using it as a sock-puppet

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery

Tie bells to your wrists and ankles and shake wildly at it…. That should deal with that pesky goose or befriend it with a jar of cockles

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By *leasecumplayCouple
over a year ago

corringham

A few hours at gas mark 4 should cure it if any aggression.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Dress up as an even bigger goose and scare it away.

Mrs

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By *elloWoman
over a year ago

alpha centauri


"Tie bells to your wrists and ankles and shake wildly at it…. "

Morris dancers and geese rumble

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By *inkylipsWoman
over a year ago

Debauchery


"Tie bells to your wrists and ankles and shake wildly at it….

Morris dancers and geese rumble "

I think this could become a thing

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By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

Fight it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it possible protecting young?

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

It's guarding the female who will be laying eggs....throw some bread in a different direction to where your walking

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

[Removed by poster at 24/04/23 13:39:31]

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Even if they're not nesting or have goslings they're aggressive. When I was younger mum and I couldn't hang the washing out if the geese were in the garden by the house .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make yourself really big (every male is now reading this) spread arms wide and go for it, it thinks you are a predator (every male) so act like one, wave your sky remote at it too, whilst shouting ‘I am this big fuck face’ …..assert your dominance is rule number one with birds….which is why I fail, as soon as they start flapping I’m cowering in the corner…. Good luck it’s been nice

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Wear a Fox outfit.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

As soon as it runs at you walk towards it, be calm and quiet, but firm, eventually it will get bored and sod off. If its near others throw food at them, using wild bird seed makes them very distracted as its hard to eat.

As soon as you jump around it will chase you.

We pick ours up on the farm if they are being a dick, they soon learn that running at us is going to end up with them being caught

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suggest you assert your dominance by flapping your arms wildly , cackling and clucking.

If this fails call for backup and do this in unison .

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"sock over hand.

when it moves head to strike the sock goes over the head.

then you can do what you want with it.

apart from that throw some food for it

That's been my FAB technique generally tbh "

I'm thinking a few pool balls in the sock. Ask where it's tool is and then show it who's mummy.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

The ones near us at the local boating lake I just keep walking towards and stomp and tell them to shut up and feck off if they come at me.... seems to do the trick

T x

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By *oJo pornstarMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Take a bottle of hoisin sauce and some Chinese pancakes then explain in a Dr Lecter type manner that you are board of ducks

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Roll on your back in submission and as loud as you can, make a goose noise. This will tell goose that it has won and it will leave you be.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could try talking to it,if you knew portugeese , but definitely don't use any fowl language

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