FabSwingers.com forum: Tesco pun challenge

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have to include a reference n each comment.

I am not buying Tesco burgers anymore they keep giving me the TROTS

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By *picyspiregirlCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

I can't see the problem really. In fact I am going to get some this afternoon. Around 2.30 at kempton.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in Tescos yesterday and one member of staff came up on the outside rail to remove the burgers from the shelves only to be overtaken by another member of staff who slipped up the inside and yet another member of staff who was bringing up the rear. I asked the manager what was going on and he said "about 3/1, would you like to place a bet, sir?"

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By *aris23Woman
over a year ago

France

My sister asked if I had bought any burgers from Tesco....I said 'neigh'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Queues are forming around the managers office at our local Tesco, people are shouting themselves Horse at the managers trying to get a refund as the meat content is too high.

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

Only on the price saver one. That is what happen when we are always looking for cheaper option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are not going to horse around with the supplier when Tesco catch up with them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tesco - Home of the 'Trojan Burger'

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Tesco - Home of the 'Trojan Burger'

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

had burgers last night for dinner ...stikl got a bit between my teeth !

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By *reelove1969Couple
over a year ago

bristol

just checked the remainder of our burgers ...and theyre off !!!

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

[Removed by poster at 16/01/13 10:53:30]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asked local Tesco how long untill more burgers would be delivered was told they where under starters orders

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

Just been to Tesco, bought a bottle of bacardi, bottle of Lamb's and some burgers...so that's White Rum, navy rum and Red Rum

Thank you sickipedia

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Breaking News

Zebra found in Tescos postcode!!

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

"Breaking News

Zebra found in Tescos postcode!!"

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

Have eat one but now in stable condition

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Breaking News

Zebra found in Tescos postcode!!"

Fooking predictive text

Zebra found in Tesco Barcode!,,,,

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

Barcode even

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

[Removed by poster at 16/01/13 10:58:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got some burgers for my little girls dinner, she was messing about and a food fight broke out, ended up 'on the nose'

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By *hangovCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

We served Tesco burgers at a wedding I catered. We asked who wanted them on the top table. The Groom said "I'm not keen but the Bridle have one."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's the last time I'm saying "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse "in the tesco canteen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New, In store

Tesco 'EveryNeigh' Beef-Flavoured Burro-ito!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Asked local Tesco how long untill more burgers would be delivered was told they where under starters orders "

I don't believe you! Hoove you got this information from?

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By *he Ring WraithMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Love the thread,

my un-bridled thanks to the person who saddled us with sitting here thinking up posts rather than working.

I should be doing the Hoovesering.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So hungry you could eat a horse ?

We've got you covered

TESCO

Every little helps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Asked local Tesco how long untill more burgers would be delivered was told they where under starters orders

I don't believe you! Hoove you got this information from?"

No it's true got it from the horses mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate asked me if I like my burgers well done or rare so I told him I'd have one each way.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I think Tesco make the best sandwich filly's.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I've run out of burgers...what a 'mare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/13 11:13:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I found some hair in mine, and that's the mane problem for me.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Tesco have just launched their own meal package following on from competitors M&S who provide a 3 course package.

Tesco have gone one further, the product is called 'Horses four courses'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's all an e-questrian of taste.

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"Tesco have just launched their own meal package following on from competitors M&S who provide a 3 course package.

Tesco have gone one further, the product is called 'Horses four courses'"

I might add that this was from the horse's mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So I went back to Tesco, and they said "What did you think of them?", and I said "They're a bit pony.".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All this chat has made me hungry think I'll Trott down to Tesco

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

This is hilarious. X

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Might give tesco meatballs a try..

I hear they're the dogs bollocks!!

(Not my work sadly but funny) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To shop at Tesco or to not shop at Tesco

That is equestrian.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The panic's over as staff race to remove the offending burgers from sale.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tesco Clubcard? Never look a gift horse in the mouth !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't believe this thread's got this far without a single mention of Shergar.....??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To shop at Tesco or to not shop at Tesco

That is equestrian.

Oh I say, that's very clever, a thinking person's joke.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe this thread's got this far without a single mention of Shergar.....??

What do you think you've been eating all these years?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe this thread's got this far without a single mention of Shergar.....??

What do you think you've been eating all these years?"

He weren't THAT big!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe this thread's got this far without a single mention of Shergar.....??

What do you think you've been eating all these years?

He weren't THAT big!!!

No he wasn't, but I'm assured that Tescos had other runners.. er leading brands.

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By *juk72Man
over a year ago

Reading

HAY you lot stop giving Tesco a hard time, save that for each other ;o)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"HAY you lot stop giving Tesco a hard time, save that for each other ;o)"

We're just horsing around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read the story and it doesn't say there's horsemeat in burgers, just DNA. It could just be horse semen, so calm down, everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"had burgers last night for dinner ...stikl got a bit between my teeth !

Every little bit helps...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Just read the story and it doesn't say there's horsemeat in burgers, just DNA. It could just be horse semen, so calm down, everyone."

That's a lot of fookin semen to make up 29% of it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Just read the story and it doesn't say there's horsemeat in burgers, just DNA. It could just be horse semen, so calm down, everyone."

Ah, the binding agent. That's okay then...... anyone seen Marc Almond in the vicinity of Tesco's meat freezer dept..????

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

Everone!

I am eating a Tesco burger as I type and my throat is feeling a little horse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Just read the story and it doesn't say there's horsemeat in burgers, just DNA. It could just be horse semen, so calm down, everyone.

That's a lot of fookin semen to make up 29% of it!

Burgers with the special sauce already added?

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Heard that Tesco burgers are the horses bollocks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heard that Tesco burgers are the horses bollocks"

Nah - that's the meatballs....

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

It's been a tough morning in Tesco's trying to convince the customers that the meat is safe to eat............talk about flogging a dead horse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Just read the story and it doesn't say there's horsemeat in burgers, just DNA. It could just be horse semen, so calm down, everyone.

Ah, the binding agent. That's okay then...... anyone seen Marc Almond in the vicinity of Tesco's meat freezer dept..????

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I've just seen a woman standing outside Tesco holding a photograph of a horse.

As I walked past she said, "Excuse me sir, could you eat this?'

"Yeah, sure." I replied, taking it from her and putting it in my mouth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our local Tescos got broken in last night and they asked a locksmith to make a bolt for the door.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

have to say these are all very clever...

how many of these were delivered "on the hoof".....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was upset after eating a tesco burger last night.

My wife asked "why the long face"

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

"had burgers last night for dinner ...stikl got a bit between my teeth !

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By *nfieldishCouple
over a year ago

Enfield

In the mane I'd say they're gonna be saddled with a bad reputation... Perhaps we need a Gallup poll...

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By *ll-Knight-longMan
over a year ago

Derby/Notts(Long Eaton)

"Can't believe this thread's got this far without a single mention of Shergar.....??

That's because some people don't take shergar with their tea

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

just checked my tesco burgers in the freezer- they're off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Haven't dared to mention any of this when I was mucking out the stables this morning!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I hear one man saw a mother and child about to eat a Tesco burger and he dived in front of it and saved them.

I thought that was very CHEVALrous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wouldn't touch their processed meats anyway. Too full of salt and shergar

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By *enuinetallstuMan
over a year ago

nr beauly

"Might give tesco meatballs a try..

I hear they're the dogs bollocks!!

(Not my work sadly but funny) x"

Hahahaha!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our local Tescos got broken in last night and they asked a locksmith to make a bolt for the door."

Isn't that a case of locking the stable door after the horse has bolted

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tesco Burgers, low in fat, high in shergar.

They're foal of goodness.

Get them quick they won't be around furlong.

Tesco crisis management team have got the bit between their teeth.

Dear Mr Tesco Please reassure me that your shepherds pie is made with 100% shepherds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tesco Burgers, low in fat, high in shergar.

They're foal of goodness.

Get them quick they won't be around furlong.

Tesco crisis management team have got the bit between their teeth.

Dear Mr Tesco Please reassure me that your shepherds pie is made with 100% shepherds."

And the Lamb Cobbler is made with 100% ......... ?

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By *azNdavCouple
over a year ago

barnsley

If you think the Horse Burgers in Tesco are bad, wait until you see their Unicorn on the Cob.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More shocking news. Tesco vegetable burgers have been found to contain upto 40% uniquorn!

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I don't know what the fuss is about. In France horse is part of a stable diet.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

" Just read the story and it doesn't say there's horsemeat in burgers, just DNA. It could just be horse semen, so calm down, everyone."

that's not a beefburger - it's a mush tucker trial!

Wolf

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I enjoy tesco burgers as part of a stable diet.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Voted favourite in a recent gallop opinion poll... tote amaze

Wolf

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Tesco bank has merged with the Clydesdale. Neigh chance I'll be putting my money in there, 2/1 I wont see it again.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fook Tesco! I am off to My Lidl Pony!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fook Tesco! I am off to My Lidl Pony!!"

Starters gateway for me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a burger at Tesco cafe this morning, I asked them to hold the dressage though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A recrnt taste survey found ordinary burgers were pipped to the post by Tesco own brand burgers!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I hear one man saw a mother and child about to eat a Tesco burger and he dived in front of it and saved them.

I thought that was very CHEVALrous."

did he say whoaaa

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

"I hear one man saw a mother and child about to eat a Tesco burger and he dived in front of it and saved them.

I thought that was very CHEVALrous.

did he say whoaaa"

Nay!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cow walks into a bar. Barman says 'why the long face?'

Cow says 'Illegal ingredients, coming over here stealing our jobs!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eating meat is Redrum!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of these jokes about Tesco burgers have been on going on furlong enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quote from Prince charles " I don't know what all this Tesco fuss is about, I've been eating horse for years, haven't I Camilla"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our local Tesco store manager 'MR Ed ' can't understand what all the fuss is about !

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By *azNdavCouple
over a year ago

barnsley

HMV vouchers now being accepted at Tesco.

Just tell them HMV means Horse Meat Voucher

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the best cheese to have on a Tesco burger?

Mascarpone!

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By *exy firemanMan
over a year ago

essex

some bright spark at tesco has just suggested a solution to the burger fiasco, he reckons that if they add kangaroo meat to the burgers sales will bounce back!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the horse DNA in the burgers is bad?

Wait till they try and explain the farmer DNA in the lamb rump roast....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pmsl here , well done best thread for yonks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Quote from Prince charles " I don't know what all this Tesco fuss is about, I've been eating horse for years, haven't I Camilla""

ROFL .. superb!

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By *itboyslim2Man
over a year ago

stevenage

Those Tesco burgers have very low salt and fat levels

but the bad bit is they are full of Shergar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has left a lot of people longing for the good old days when Tesco burgers were made from cows-arseholes, bulls-cocks and chickens-eyelids……..

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By *illycarrolCouple
over a year ago

n/cle on tyne

tasted good to me, only snag instead of paying for them i jumped straight over the checkout and cantered out till the manager shouted whoa lad whoaaa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I expect this only relates to those mini-burgers you have as snacks. You know, the horse d'oeuvres

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Given I have been at work all day so know only a comment made on the radio, anyone like to let us know what is going on?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tescos burgers also found to alcohol in them apparently red rum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Following the Tesco horsemeat scandal, rumours are circulating that traces of chicken have been found in a KFC Bargain Bucket!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that Tesco has admitted to horsemeat being in some of their burgers I wonder who'll be saddled with the blame?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Following the Tesco horsemeat scandal, rumours are circulating that traces of chicken have been found in a KFC Bargain Bucket!"

Be careful facebooking that, it could be construed as libel.

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By *c69funCouple
over a year ago

chesterfield

Tescos quarter pounder beefburgers , the cheap way to give your daughter the pony she's always wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't talk about it, I've a sore throat, and am a little horse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here are the odds for tomorrows race:

7:2 - Thunderbolt

3:1 - Bonny Lad

9:1 - Pandoras Box

15:1 - King Kenny

16:1 - Tescos Finest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in the cafe at tescos earlier, the waitress asked me if I wanted anything on my burger, I said, I'll have a fiver each way

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

people getting all wound up about the horse meat in Tesco burgers nobodys saying anything about the camel toes in primark leggings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm pmsl here , well done best thread for yonks

so funny

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

had one of them tesco burgers earlier just went for a shit it was good to firm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might give tesco meatballs a try..

I hear they're the dogs bollocks!!

All these are brill but for me this one wins by a short nose

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By *r mrs pCouple
over a year ago

taunton

"just checked the remainder of our burgers ...and theyre off !!! "

Lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If all the bad press about tesco burgers has pyt you off, try thier meatballs, thryre the dogs bollocks!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All this talk of Tesco burgers is leaving me a little horse...

I'll get me coat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those Tesco burgers are a bit sweet - they must contain a lot of Shergar

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By *taffs_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Still having a bit of trouble after eating one of the Tesco's burgers containing horsemeat. My condition is now stable,

I have had the trots, but after overcoming a few a hurdles,

I'm odds on to make a full recovery.

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By *taffs_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

I just got a burger in tesco cafe, the waitress asked if I want anything on it....

I said a fiver each way

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By *adybird69Couple
over a year ago

EASTBOURNE

GOT A SORE THROAT,,,,,, FEELING A LITTLE HORSE AFTER THAT BURGER

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By *xycrtrWoman
over a year ago

london

The clues were always there......Hamburgers is an anagram of Shergars Bum

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By *ubbles 1970Woman
over a year ago

southend

horsey horsey dont u stop,

or you'll end up in a tesco shop,

your tail goes swish n the wheels go round,

giddy up horsey you're a quarter pound.

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By *riskynriskyCouple
over a year ago

Essex.

Tescos. Every shetland help...

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

Went to the Tesco cafe today and ordered a burger- waitress asked anything on the burger?- replied Yes I will have a fiver each way.

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By *orset manMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

First Tesco-then what?

Lidl Pony

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I eat Tesco burgers... neeighhhh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The police are now involved in horsegate!!!!! ........... They suspect foal play

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By *orthEastGuy87Man
over a year ago

London - North East

Us veggies aren't safe either as I hear that they are putting uniQuorn in the veggie burgers too

.... ah that was bad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/13 22:22:27]

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By *exy firemanMan
over a year ago

essex

Tesco have been running a competition to name their horse running in the grand national this year. out of thousands of entries they have chosen, 'well, I'll be burgered!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tracks burgers....

Low in fat, high in Shergar!

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By *exy firemanMan
over a year ago

essex

"Tesco have been running a competition to name their horse running in the grand national this year. out of thousands of entries they have chosen, 'well, I'll be burgered!'

surely this one is the clear winner?

not the horse but the joke ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wot about iceland ,mcdonalds ,lidl ,aldi ,morrisons ,,,all got a bit horsey two,,,

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

After the Tesco scandal where horse meat was found in the burgers Primark have recalled 10,000 pairs of leggings, most have been found to contain camel toe.

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By *olfcartweaselCouple
over a year ago

Melrose

Hide the taste of your Tesco 30% horse burgers: add a little marscapone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why the long faces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love horse meat always use to eat the stuff when i lived in germany.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My daughter wanted a horse for Xmas so mite pop into tesco and see if they got any left

My other daughter wanted the my little poney collection so wondering if tesco got that aswell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got back from Tescos...dissapointed that there were no burgers left, so had to settle for Pepperpony Pizza instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 16/01/13 23:25:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best burgers recipe. Mince meat, garlic powder, paprika, fresh herbs, an egg and fine diced stallions. I mean.... Scallions..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just went and checked i had a few of them tesco burgers in the fridge aaaaaaand they're off !!

Had one of those horse burgers from tesco last night gave me the trots don't worry though I'm stable now

Blimey it's not just tesco apparently they've now found camel toe leggings in primark

Think the horse DNA in tescos burgers is bad ?

Wait till they discover Aberdeen farmers DNA in the lamb rump steaks !!!

Taken from my post in Scotland forums couldn't be bothered rewriting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think someone may be sending me death threats.

Woke up this morning with a Tesco burger on my pillow.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe this thread's got this far without a single mention of Shergar.....??

and can't beleive no one has realised that hamburgers is an anagram of Shergars Bum!

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

[Removed by poster at 17/01/13 07:39:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Horse Meat the Song.

http://www.joe.ie/news-politics/current-affairs/video-that-didnt-take-long-horsemeat-the-song-is-out-0032854-1

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By *K_AIRTV/TS
over a year ago

birmingham

After the Tesco scandal where horse meat was found in the burgers Primark have recalled 10,000 pairs of leggings, most have been found to contain camel toe!!!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Eating meat is Redrum!!

Brilliant!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

I dunno what the fuss is about, you never see people complaining about McDonalds quarter Panda's, do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Those Tesco burgers containing horse meat is nothing, my daughter bought something from there that contained traces of shit.

A One Direction CD.

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By *uneandtomCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

The burgars are low fat, but beware they're high in Shergar

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

horsey horsey don't you stop

or you'll end up in a tescos shop

your tail goes swish and the wheels go round

giddy up horsey you're a quarter pound

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By *elshbi2Couple
over a year ago

Swansea

that made my day giggled at quite a few of those comments well done everyone brill. lol

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