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Dove advert - Mary

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

We think this speaks for itself: https://youtu.be/2ngESNoacxM

We really worry about our daughter and how we will help her navigate the modern world.....

Anyway, this is me (Mrs) after viewing the ad.....

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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago

Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work)

It breaks my heart to see how rampant this stuff is. Facebook got caught didn’t they, hiding their internal research which showed it was causing teenagers depression (I’m aware that’s a simplistic take). The world is about profit, and while we can try manage it, I don’t see it coming to an end anytime soon

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

Haven't seen the advert and can't open the link. What's it about

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Haven't seen the advert and can't open the link. What's it about"

It's an ad for Dove that features young people impacted by eating disorders that are perpetuated by social media. The main feature is the life of a young lady called Mary, whose mother narrates the ad and includes pics and videos as she is growing up. The latter part includes images of other young people battling various issues relating to body image.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

I am also now. So far my 14 year old seems to have a really healthy sense of her own style and self worth. I have made every effort to never talk badly about my own body (even if I think it) or anyone else's in front of her.

J

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Haven't seen the advert and can't open the link. What's it about

It's an ad for Dove that features young people impacted by eating disorders that are perpetuated by social media. The main feature is the life of a young lady called Mary, whose mother narrates the ad and includes pics and videos as she is growing up. The latter part includes images of other young people battling various issues relating to body image. "
Thankyou

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

[Removed by poster at 23/04/23 13:23:16]

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

This cuts so deeply Mrs.

If social media had been around when I was young, added to the other influences in my life, I'd not have been here now.

Eating disorders and body shaming, especially in the guise of "helping", are not a new phenomenon. We all know that. But social media is causing them to be far more widespread than ever before.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Not me now sobbing after watching that, as the mum of two girls and another young woman I'll be a role model for, the daily fear if this happening is real, I tell them how beautiful they are every day and that they are perfect the way they are, but I'm also conscious of what outside influences there are, I've already had to sit and have a heartbreaking chat with my oldest when she was went through a phase of being very controlling over what she ate and would sometimes only eat once a day and was downloading exercise apps on how to get abs and such. Touch wood the chat we had helped her understand this wasn't the right way to do things and I've had no issues since, but it's constantly in the back of mind daily.

T x

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

I very much hope all the young people we look after or have responsibility for in any way, are okay. But if not, we hope they are able to recover and receive help.

There's too little help out there and social media platforms seem completely unwilling to effect change or, in the case of platforms like Twitter, seem to actively want to perpetuate harm.

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

Also, we're very conscious of the way we praise our daughter. We try to focus on her abilities and achievements, rather than her appearance. So less "you look lovely" and more "you did really well with that book/spelling/horse riding thing etc".

We ask, "would we say similar to our son at the same age?" Would we praise his choice of outfit or hair style etc?

But, appearance seems central to what a lot of the girls in her class hold dear.....

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J"

Our daughter is wearing "boys" shoes, because all the "girls" shoes were open at the top of the foot and totally impractical on rainy days etc. The "boys" cover the whole foot and have better grip. She doesn't seem bothered and bonus points for the little car that came inside

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J

Our daughter is wearing "boys" shoes, because all the "girls" shoes were open at the top of the foot and totally impractical on rainy days etc. The "boys" cover the whole foot and have better grip. She doesn't seem bothered and bonus points for the little car that came inside "

My youngest did the same with her shoe choice

T x

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J"

My oldest is the same, the only thing she is set about is colouring, has to be blacks or greys and tomboyish, but that goes hand in hand with other things she has struggled with such as her sexuality and gender, but we embrace at all and just take one day at a time woth that.

T x

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J

Our daughter is wearing "boys" shoes, because all the "girls" shoes were open at the top of the foot and totally impractical on rainy days etc. The "boys" cover the whole foot and have better grip. She doesn't seem bothered and bonus points for the little car that came inside

My youngest did the same with her shoe choice

T x"

The impracticalities (is this a word? My phone doesn't think so) of girls' shoes has been an absolute bugbear of mine since she was little. And compare girls and boys shorts! The difference in length, the lack of pockets. Fitted t-shirts with cap sleeves for 4 year olds...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just cried watching it ...

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West


"It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J

Our daughter is wearing "boys" shoes, because all the "girls" shoes were open at the top of the foot and totally impractical on rainy days etc. The "boys" cover the whole foot and have better grip. She doesn't seem bothered and bonus points for the little car that came inside

My youngest did the same with her shoe choice

T x

The impracticalities (is this a word? My phone doesn't think so) of girls' shoes has been an absolute bugbear of mine since she was little. And compare girls and boys shorts! The difference in length, the lack of pockets. Fitted t-shirts with cap sleeves for 4 year olds..."

You sound like me in Next

We buy "boys" jumpers, t-shirts etc because they're just more practical! She's very tall and slim though, so dresses are often an easier choice because no issues with waist v length.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"It sounds like a very small thing but I think the shoes I encouraged her to get for high school had a big impact. The school is very strict on what styles are and are not allowed. Most girls went for a certain pair of kickers. I persuaded her to get a pair of Docs that met the rules. She has an amazing group of friends who I would say are 'alternative' rather than the 'in crowd' who are very focused on looks.

J

Our daughter is wearing "boys" shoes, because all the "girls" shoes were open at the top of the foot and totally impractical on rainy days etc. The "boys" cover the whole foot and have better grip. She doesn't seem bothered and bonus points for the little car that came inside

My youngest did the same with her shoe choice

T x

The impracticalities (is this a word? My phone doesn't think so) of girls' shoes has been an absolute bugbear of mine since she was little. And compare girls and boys shorts! The difference in length, the lack of pockets. Fitted t-shirts with cap sleeves for 4 year olds...

You sound like me in Next

We buy "boys" jumpers, t-shirts etc because they're just more practical! She's very tall and slim though, so dresses are often an easier choice because no issues with waist v length."

This is me with my eldest, boys section for shirts and trousers (especially as the school has a no tight fit rule and all the girls are skinny fit). And everything has to have adjustable waist pulled in like a sack of spuds to keep them up. Suggested skirts and I got daggers

T x

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

OMG my heartstrings

I have an 11- year old little girl. She is still little and I think unaffected by what other people say or think. BUT she is starting secondary school in September and somehow it fills me with dread…

Social media has a lot to answer for, but hasn’t it been a disaster even before it? The countless times I was bullied for my height as a child (tall) and I was painfully thin until I hit puberty and bullied for it- then I was fat, a pig, “you’d look so much better if you lost weight”… add moderately severe acne from age 13 to 31 until I had my first child to the mix and let’s say that my youth was really misspent in a way that I hated the way I looked and wished I were someone else.

Because of that I don’t have many photos of me in my late teens or 20s, but the few ones I have I look at and think “I was a bloody knockout!” Haha ?? and there was zero social media then.

The positives I see in social media now is that they are an outlet, a stage for everyone. Everyone can now star in their own show. I’ve become a bit addicted to Tiktok for example and I see many examples of body positivity, racial inclusion and being happy in your own skin. But as with everything, in the wrong hands/minds it can be a terrible influence as well…

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By *inky_couple2020 OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

Aviatrix, I do agree there has been societal pressure about appearance and other things, definitely. We both got teased to various extents about our appearance and for being studious (swots). However, once you got out of school each day, it didn't generally continue because there were no tools for bullied to pervade your home. With social media, bullying and inappropriate images of harmful content can, in theory, be viewed 24/7. I think it's the immersive and pervasive nature of social media and similar tools that makes things even harder nowadays (for any gender, let's be honest).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have 2 daughters, one pre-teen and this is utterly heartbreaking.

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