FabSwingers.com forum: Trusting others...

By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

So I was talking to a friend earlier about trust. If it's a more instant thing or one that develops over time.

How readily do you trust people? Whether that's in work, social life, on here? Do people readily trust you?

Do you think trust can return once it's been broken? Or chipped away at if you don't want to be quite so dramatic on a Wednesday afternoon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally trust to a point with everyone but always expect that people can break it.

Once broken there's no going back. I just can't trust them again.

If I went through life not trusting a soul I'd have no friends and speak to no one.

But like I say I trust to a point. After that you need to prove over time I can trust you more.

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

I've found it can be gained very quickly with some, only a very few though

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

Trust no one believe nothing

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I always give basic trust but for anything deeper it has to grow. I think people trust me. I know my friends do.

For me once trust is broken there is no going back

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By *palWoman
over a year ago

The Bermuda Triangle in Suffolk

"So I was talking to a friend earlier about trust. If it's a more instant thing or one that develops over time.

How readily do you trust people? Whether that's in work, social life, on here? Do people readily trust you?

Do you think trust can return once it's been broken? Or chipped away at if you don't want to be quite so dramatic on a Wednesday afternoon.

I think to fully trust anyone that takes time,when it's been broken it can depend on the circumstances as we are human after all and mistakes happen. Some get a second chance others no.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Trust is something that develops over time for me.

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

I genuinely don't trust anyone

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I believe you have to give trust in order to receive it.

If someone breaks my trust, but owns it I can forgive. But that doesn't mean things will be between the same us. It can change how I feel about the person.

People who muddy the waters, obfuscate etc. They lose my trust.

I start I would say quite trusting but then I don't mind risking getting hurt.

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By *rivateparts!Man
over a year ago

Walking down the only road I've ever known!

Trust is earned over time, but can also be destroyed in an instant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Vetting process which may include bending over. Don’t say I didn’t warn you

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I trust people to a certain degree and if you keep your word and actions coincide with what you say and how you present yourself then more trust will build. But then there’s the other scale, once I deem you full of shit there’s no going back.

The mr

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I really trust my partner and close friends,others not until they show themselves to be trustworthy.

I don't trust easily and if someone breaks my trust they don't get it back again.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I generally trust to a point with everyone but always expect that people can break it.

Once broken there's no going back. I just can't trust them again.

If I went through life not trusting a soul I'd have no friends and speak to no one.

But like I say I trust to a point. After that you need to prove over time I can trust you more.

So you trust everyone will break your trust at some point? Isn't that a tad... gosh. Cynical? But maybe your experiences have shaped your view.

Trusting to a point makes sense, I think people show you how much you can trust them. And that doesn't happen instantly.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

I feel I can trust my long term friends with anything, it would take me a long time to trust anyone new with my secrets though. If trust was broken it would be so hard to trust them ever again.

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By *aughty_Smooth_OperatorMan
over a year ago

Birmingham

It can vary with people as some may find it difficult to trust people to quickly this could be down to bad experience in the past which you would say is natural. Then you have the gullible ones instantly. Somewhere in the middle to start building the trust and move on so as you get to know them.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I trust everybody to be essentially human, underneath whatever persona they’re projecting.

Humans are a weird bunch, though.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I've found it can be gained very quickly with some, only a very few though "

Ah interesting. I think I'm a bit too soft really, generally I trust everyone on a base level. Then there are a few who I trust even more and it happens so quickly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm fairly open and probably too trusting initially but it's served me well so far. If trust is betrayed (depending on the level of breakage) gaining it back is much harder if not most often impossible.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Once broken there's no going back. I just can't trust them again."

Okay, to take this absolutely seriously for a minute … I agree with Ms Petite here.

On the big things. On love. On jobs. On family. If that kind of proper deep trust gets broken, I can’t rebuild it. I’ve tried. It never works for me. That’s a walking away moment. Time to start over.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"Trust no one believe nothing "

Doesn't that lead to quite a lonely unfulfilled life not believing anything though? Do you not expect/hope others trust or believe you?

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I think in a way I trust quite easily which isn't always to my favour but we live and learn. I try not to let it put me off trusting others but there an always be that shadow if something triggers it or I'm feeling particularly self defeatist.

Once trust is broken? I have forgiven but unfortunately not forgotten which means things are unlikely to ever really be the same again. But I do not resent or hold onto it as that damages me more than anyone else

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I think in a way I trust quite easily which isn't always to my favour but we live and learn. I try not to let it put me off trusting others but there an always be that shadow if something triggers it or I'm feeling particularly self defeatist.

Well said... When you hate you are hurting yourself.

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I don’t. And therein lies the answer to ALL my problems

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Trust some with something but not all with everything.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I trust by default until I’m proven wrong. I don't see how you can succeed in any area of life without doing that. Imagine starting a new job and distrusting all your new work colleagues? You wouldn’t get far.

I think almost all people , in the right environment and treated right, are good people.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I always give basic trust but for anything deeper it has to grow. I think people trust me. I know my friends do.

For me once trust is broken there is no going back"

Yes, this is how I am. Bar there not being a going back. We're all human and make mistakes, tell lies. I guess it depends on the severity of it.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"So I was talking to a friend earlier about trust. If it's a more instant thing or one that develops over time.

How readily do you trust people? Whether that's in work, social life, on here? Do people readily trust you?

Do you think trust can return once it's been broken? Or chipped away at if you don't want to be quite so dramatic on a Wednesday afternoon.

I think to fully trust anyone that takes time,when it's been broken it can depend on the circumstances as we are human after all and mistakes happen. Some get a second chance others no."

Yes, recognising our ability to make mistakes as well as others is important. To me anyway. There are some things that really test my eternal hope in people - big lies. Hurtful ones. But I try and think, 'ach, maybe I can overlook that one'.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"So I was talking to a friend earlier about trust. If it's a more instant thing or one that develops over time.

How readily do you trust people? Whether that's in work, social life, on here? Do people readily trust you?

Do you think trust can return once it's been broken? Or chipped away at if you don't want to be quite so dramatic on a Wednesday afternoon.

"
I think I'm very trustworthy but i don’t trust anyone until i know them

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By *d4fun73Man
over a year ago

Shipley

"Trust no one believe nothing

Doesn't that lead to quite a lonely unfulfilled life not believing anything though? Do you not expect/hope others trust or believe you? "

Probably! I've been let down that many times and recently scammed, that my trust level is very low. Until proven otherwise.

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

"Trust no one believe nothing

Doesn't that lead to quite a lonely unfulfilled life not believing anything though? Do you not expect/hope others trust or believe you?

Probably! I've been let down that many times and recently scammed, that my trust level is very low. Until proven otherwise."

Same, I’ve given trust and been shown why that’s a bad idea, now my walls are sky high and they need to earn that trust, live and learn and all that jazz

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I believe you have to give trust in order to receive it.

If someone breaks my trust, but owns it I can forgive. But that doesn't mean things will be between the same us. It can change how I feel about the person.

People who muddy the waters, obfuscate etc. They lose my trust.

I start I would say quite trusting but then I don't mind risking getting hurt."
.

Muddy the waters in what way?

Yes, people owning their mistakes is important to me. It's not the apology for me. It's recognising their actions and subsequently owning them. Showing me enough respect to do so.

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By *irthKing97Man
over a year ago

beccles

Depending on the person aswell as their actions I can begin to trust people quite easily

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust is earned. First impressions of someone mean a lot, i can usually sniff out a wrong one. I am totally trustworthy from the off, even if i do say so myself

but i don't expect anyone else to trust me straight away nor should they. You should always be cautious, there are more assholes about than you would think.

Remember tinder swindler. Dont be fooled. Take your time to trust someone, allow time for people to trust you. Take advice from trusted friends, it's always better to get advice on someone from a trusted friend who doesn't have lust blinkers on

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I trust people to a certain degree and if you keep your word and actions coincide with what you say and how you present yourself then more trust will build. But then there’s the other scale, once I deem you full of shit there’s no going back.

The mr

The whole words and actions matching thing. Yeah, that's pretty important to me. I think to most people, not just me!

The other end of the scale... yes. Once the shitometer is hit you can't bring it down can you?

I had a friend who once gleefully told me they weren't poorly as said but instead busy being very well. Several months later after it. I don't know quite why they told me - maybe it was to take me down a peg? Maybe they found the situation amusing. It just added a bit more shit to that meter.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Never trust people at work.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Never trust people at work."

I couldn’t work with people I didn’t trust.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I don’t trust very easily at all.

People seem to trust me though. With good reason too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally trust to a point with everyone but always expect that people can break it.

Once broken there's no going back. I just can't trust them again.

If I went through life not trusting a soul I'd have no friends and speak to no one.

But like I say I trust to a point. After that you need to prove over time I can trust you more.

Exactly this. Very hard to regain my trust once broken.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

"Never trust people at work."

Some of the best people in my life I’ve met through work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty trusting as I want to believe people are who they say they are. I don't want to be cynical. That said, some things I'm very protective of and it takes a lot to let anyone in to that.

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I really trust my partner and close friends,others not until they show themselves to be trustworthy.

I don't trust easily and if someone breaks my trust they don't get it back again."

Is that a gradual thing for you or does it tend to be something big that results in it going?

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I’ve watched The X Files and know to Trust No One.

I’m not paranoid like but I’m sure I’ve seen Cigarette Smoking Man on here…..

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By *zzihasMan
over a year ago

slough

horny

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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago

"I trust everybody to be essentially human, underneath whatever persona they’re projecting...

Ah I like this!

Yes. We are human. I think the majority of us would like to think we're trustworthy. Have people believe us. In us. Why is it difficult for some to believe in others then?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Yes. We are human. I think the majority of us would like to think we're trustworthy. Have people believe us. In us. Why is it difficult for some to believe in others then? "

It’s experience mostly, isn’t it? We’re all optimists until experience beats it out of us.

Remaining optimistic despite setbacks takes effort. Work. Love.

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By *uteLittleGeekWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere

I trust no one easy. They need to earn my trust.

Once broken- that's it!

Good bye

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

I have trusted in so many people , i been on their side when more they needed , economically or support be the best way i could nevertheless they could have the courage to be backstabbers without any shame , the typical narcissistic persons .

When more i needed them they all closed their eyes as i didn't even existed, sometimes a msg asking how was doing , just to pretend they cared . Today i don't about them at all . One msg me she split with husband a didn't even opened the msg i couldn't give a dam, anyway she's not a Saint

, other she even stayed at my house while i was away andcthe list could go on and on .

At this moment mentally i couldn't be in a better place because i don't need to lead anymore with toxic ,dramatic , narcissistic and fake friends as i have cut off with all of them . Saying this i learned a big lesson to never trust in certain type of persons.

No i don't trust anyone that easily anymore , lesson learned .

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

The gut trust that....

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By *amantha_JadeWoman
over a year ago

Newcastle

I always try to see the best in people but I can only count on one hand the number of people who I truly trust, just one friend and very close family

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been known to forget to defrost meat for tea. Not sure how many brownie points I’ve just lost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a little bit of a assume the worst until proven otherwise kinda person, and I don't like being that way. But on the other hand, I think it's okay not to trust someone 100%. Even the people who have been in your life from day one can break that trust in one moment so its not about the length of a relationship.

I prefer having faith instead. Then overtime trust starts to build and you have to let people in without fear of being let down. But ultimately I will always keep a little back and won't ever trust anyone completely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust can only be earned with time, due to there being various key features to a person, be it: common interests, goals, characteristics. But most of all you need the time to experience it.

As for broken trust, or even one that's chipping away. It's best to get out, and or avoid those..... your time is precious

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

I only trust in the pocess as I know the universe has my back.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I used to trust first, and be proved wrong. But that really backfired. Now I tentatively trust but assume that I'm wrong.

If that makes any sense.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I believe you have to give trust in order to receive it.

If someone breaks my trust, but owns it I can forgive. But that doesn't mean things will be between the same us. It can change how I feel about the person.

People who muddy the waters, obfuscate etc. They lose my trust.

I start I would say quite trusting but then I don't mind risking getting hurt..

Muddy the waters in what way?

Yes, people owning their mistakes is important to me. It's not the apology for me. It's recognising their actions and subsequently owning them. Showing me enough respect to do so.

Exactly, respect me enough to give me the truth let me decide how I feel about it.

Muddy the waters there's many ways to do so. Sometimes it's the difference between words and deeds. The point where my trust starts to wane is when I make something explicit and they refuse to engage in the conversation - switch subjects, gloss over it et al.

Also throwing your corn but calling no fowl. I do like patois lots of pearls of wisdom. Kmt don't be mincing your words girl speak your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I trust that people are giving me honesty until I find out otherwise. Once they have not been honest then it depends on what they were dishonest about.

As long as they hold themselves accountable I will forgive it but I doubt it would ever be the same. If they give excuses or become defensive,I'm done.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

I kind of have a sliding scale of trust. And it very much depends on what I'm trusting them with and what my expectations of them are. If that makes any sense whatsoever?

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By *ab FunstersCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

Learnt the hard way dont trust anyone anymore..

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By *erfectman122Man
over a year ago

from somewhere nice

Trust I believe in till they mess up

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I have to be trusting to a certain degree as all my work is payment upon completion so need to trust the customer to a certain degree

Trust with personal things though I’d trust no one till they show they can be trusted I can could on one hand the people I truly trust in life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm very untrusting in general.

I know what people are like.

Unless I've known you a very long time then I'm not gonna trust you.

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By *elinda BeaverCouple
over a year ago

Nottinghamshire

I trust to a certain extent with others.

I trust my friends.

I trust my husband with my life. 100%

Do I trust too easily on here?

Yes I think I do. But I'm also wary. Such a contradiction!

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Everyone can have a dash of trust, shit on my trust and I'll cut you off and there is NO going back.

I'll be polite online and face to face unless they did some morally unforgivable, then they become invisible to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust no one believe nothing

Doesn't that lead to quite a lonely unfulfilled life not believing anything though? Do you not expect/hope others trust or believe you? "

Why is trust needed to be happy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh Meli, you don't have ask the most introspective questions!

I wouldn't say I trust people straight away but I do give them a chance for me to trust them. I can be quite guarded so until I feel like I know their true intentions, I hold off on fully trusting them all the way. Breadcrumbs before the whole load, if you will

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

Right now... my trust is quite low, its hard to put the exact explanation into words, but a few people I held in very high regard done some inexcusable things around the turn of the year and that's taken the levels to an all time low.

Not trusting people sucks, because its made me 2nd guess things, expect the worst and be more guarded. All traits that aren't very me.

Anyway somber story out of the way, things are improving and the circle of trust will grow again.

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

"I trust to a certain extent with others.

I trust my friends.

I trust my husband with my life. 100%

Do I trust too easily on here?

Yes I think I do. But I'm also wary. Such a contradiction!

On here trusting but being on guard with a fool-proof exit plan is always the best way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually go with my gut instinct on whether I can trust someone or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I generally trust to a point with everyone but always expect that people can break it.

Once broken there's no going back. I just can't trust them again.

If I went through life not trusting a soul I'd have no friends and speak to no one.

But like I say I trust to a point. After that you need to prove over time I can trust you more.

So you trust everyone will break your trust at some point? Isn't that a tad... gosh. Cynical? But maybe your experiences have shaped your view.

Trusting to a point makes sense, I think people show you how much you can trust them. And that doesn't happen instantly. "

'I generally trust to a point with everyone but always expect that people CAN break it.'

Doesn't the word can make that read slightly differently to how you worded your read of it?

My life story is a shit show and it's wonder I trust anyone to be totally honest with you.

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By *owestoft ManMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

Trust, like respect, must be earned.

The military and police experiences have taught this to me very well lol as has life in general.

Trusting anyone straight off is a dangerous thing but once given its normal in life to be let down but not necessarily a reason to abandon that person. We all have good and bad days.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust is very valuable to me for alsorts of reasons. And I will extend that trust to my Friends and (some) Family. But I think it goes both ways. They can only have complete trust with me if I trust them.

Do I offer it from the start? Yes, probably. You don’t earn it, you lose it.

Can it be built again if broken? Yes. Anything can be fixed. You just need to know why /how it broke, and fix it.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

I have a simple rule which I follow in life.

Trust no-one.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I'm very trusting and people for some reason trust me with stuff they wouldn't tell others! Wish they wouldn't at times x

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

"Trust is very valuable to me for alsorts of reasons. And I will extend that trust to my Friends and (some) Family. But I think it goes both ways. They can only have complete trust with me if I trust them.

Do I offer it from the start? Yes, probably. You don’t earn it, you lose it.

Can it be built again if broken? Yes. Anything can be fixed. You just need to know why /how it broke, and fix it.

Very well said that man, especially that last bit. It's human nature to make mistake that can break trust, which shouldn't lead to said trust breaker being cast aside for ever.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m pretty trusting, and I tend to trust until I’m given reason not to, I’m also very forgiving, unless I’m pushed too far. Once that happens (which is very rare), then I’m done, and I cut contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think trust is multi faceted

I would trust some with some things but not others

Likewise, I would trust others with other things

How easy do I trust?

Once my guard comes down, you have my trust, just maybe not all of it, all of the time

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