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Blowjob Explosivity Index

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I have an interest in geology, especially volcanology, and I found a way of applying that interest to a blowjob ranking system based on the Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) for blowjob quality. The scale of the Volcano Explosivity Index goes from VEI-0 to VEI-8, and for the blowjob ranking, it will be referred as the Blowjob Explosivity Index (BEI). The better you are, the more those magma chambers are emptied and the more explosive the final eruption is.

A VEI-0 is a non-explosive volcano eruption, and they occur daily around the planet, and it would indicate a really, really rubbish and unskilled blowjob. Around 10% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-0 category.

VEI-1 and VEI-2 volcano eruptions are also pretty insignificant. So a BEI-1 and BEI-2 blowjob would also be pretty rubbish as well, but better than nothing. Around 15% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-1 and BEI-2 categories.

VEI-3 volcano eruptions are below average and happen every couple of months around the planet, so BEI-3 blowjobs would be below average but not too bad. Around 25% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-3 category.

VEI-4 volcano eruptions occur around once every year somewhere on the planet. BEI-4 blowjobs would be typical blowjobs, strictly average or possibly slightly above. Around 20% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-4 category.

VEI-5 volcano eruptions occur around once every decade, and it is here we are getting into more meaty blowjob territory. A BEI-5 blowjob would be above average, and indicate the blowjob giver has a good idea of how to suck cock well. Around 15% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-5 category.

A VEI-6 volcano eruption occurs once every 50 to 100 years, with the most recent one (still disputed if VEI-5 or VEI-6) in January 2022 with the Hunga Tonga-Hunga Ha'apai eruption near Tonga, or the confirmed VEI-6 eruption of Pinatubo in the Philippines in 1991. This is where we start to enter pornstar blowjob territory. Around 10% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-6 category.

VEI-7 volcano eruptions occur once every 500 to 1,000 years. They are truly massive eruptions that can change the whole climate on the planet for a decade, or sometimes more, with the most recent one being Mount Tambora in 1815 in Indonesia (Year without a Summer in 1816). Blowjob givers in the BEI-7 category would be easily able to handle most cock sizes, and would be able to lick the balls at the same time as the whole cock was down their throat almost regardless of size. Around 4% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-7 category.

VEI-8 eruptions are the only eruptions classed as supereruptions and they are so rare they occur every 25,000 to 50,000 years. The most recent VEI-8 supereruption was in New Zealand 26,500 years ago at Lake Taupo. These supereruptions change the climate of our planet for decades, and sometimes centuries, as was the case with the Toba VEI-8 supereruption 74,000 years ago. It's unlikely, but not impossible, someone would come across a person with BEI-8 rated blowjob skills. They would be able to do everything in the BEI-7 rating, but they would be able to swallow any cock in existence right down to the balls, and would be able to get a second cumshot just minutes later. Around 1% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-8 category.

If you think the post is too dirty, at least you have learned something about volcanoes. Where do you think you'd rank if you are a blowjob giver? I rank as a BEI-0 as I have never given one, and never will, but of course I'd love to receive a BEI-8 rated one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Blow jobs always explosively index 0 for me. I guess I have never found anyone that can do it properly?

.

(Waiting for inbox to fill with offers ... I wonder if this sort of thing actually works )

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

OP. I just so wanted to type out the word magma

That is all

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

At least a 9 on that scale. I know how to get rocks off

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/04/23 00:56:56]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Blow jobs always explosively index 0 for me. I guess I have never found anyone that can do it properly?

.

(Waiting for inbox to fill with offers ... I wonder if this sort of thing actually works )"

Me too

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I'd guess on a good day I'm probably a BEI-4. More likely a BEI-3 usually.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

I like volcanoes and blowjobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never exploded via oral, so guess I’m more mountain than volcano

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op this is amazing

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

Release your findings for public use sir, I desperately need to cite and reference.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Op this is amazing "

It would be even more amazing if you ranked as a BEI-8 Fluffy Chicken

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection

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By *ex HolesMan
over a year ago

Up North

TLDR

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"TLDR"

You're too innocent for it all Rex

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

I would rate myself a BEI-5 to a BEI-6 I have a cam veri to back my claim.

Unfortunately the BEI-6 almost pornstar veri also involved copious amounts of saliva spewing over Hades imminent eruption so this may have dampened the volcanic blowjob to a BEI-4.

Hey ho...

Cherry x

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection "

Blimey Posh! I need a cold shower now.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection "

Bloody hell posh!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All this has proved is that blow jobs are just hard work.

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By *ycanNightsMan
over a year ago

Workington


"I have an interest in geology, especially volcanology, and I found a way of applying that interest to a blowjob ranking system based on the Volcanic Explosivity Index (VEI) for blowjob quality. The scale of the Volcano Explosivity Index goes from VEI-0 to VEI-8, and for the blowjob ranking, it will be referred as the Blowjob Explosivity Index (BEI). The better you are, the more those magma chambers are emptied and the more explosive the final eruption is.

A VEI-0 is a non-explosive volcano eruption, and they occur daily around the planet, and it would indicate a really, really rubbish and unskilled blowjob. Around 10% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-0 category.

VEI-1 and VEI-2 volcano eruptions are also pretty insignificant. So a BEI-1 and BEI-2 blowjob would also be pretty rubbish as well, but better than nothing. Around 15% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-1 and BEI-2 categories.

VEI-3 volcano eruptions are below average and happen every couple of months around the planet, so BEI-3 blowjobs would be below average but not too bad. Around 25% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-3 category.

VEI-4 volcano eruptions occur around once every year somewhere on the planet. BEI-4 blowjobs would be typical blowjobs, strictly average or possibly slightly above. Around 20% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-4 category.

VEI-5 volcano eruptions occur around once every decade, and it is here we are getting into more meaty blowjob territory. A BEI-5 blowjob would be above average, and indicate the blowjob giver has a good idea of how to suck cock well. Around 15% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-5 category.

A VEI-6 volcano eruption occurs once every 50 to 100 years, with the most recent one (still disputed if VEI-5 or VEI-6) in January 2022 with the Hunga Tonga-Hunga Ha'apai eruption near Tonga, or the confirmed VEI-6 eruption of Pinatubo in the Philippines in 1991. This is where we start to enter pornstar blowjob territory. Around 10% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-6 category.

VEI-7 volcano eruptions occur once every 500 to 1,000 years. They are truly massive eruptions that can change the whole climate on the planet for a decade, or sometimes more, with the most recent one being Mount Tambora in 1815 in Indonesia (Year without a Summer in 1816). Blowjob givers in the BEI-7 category would be easily able to handle most cock sizes, and would be able to lick the balls at the same time as the whole cock was down their throat almost regardless of size. Around 4% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-7 category.

VEI-8 eruptions are the only eruptions classed as supereruptions and they are so rare they occur every 25,000 to 50,000 years. The most recent VEI-8 supereruption was in New Zealand 26,500 years ago at Lake Taupo. These supereruptions change the climate of our planet for decades, and sometimes centuries, as was the case with the Toba VEI-8 supereruption 74,000 years ago. It's unlikely, but not impossible, someone would come across a person with BEI-8 rated blowjob skills. They would be able to do everything in the BEI-7 rating, but they would be able to swallow any cock in existence right down to the balls, and would be able to get a second cumshot just minutes later. Around 1% of blowjob givers are in the BEI-8 category.

If you think the post is too dirty, at least you have learned something about volcanoes. Where do you think you'd rank if you are a blowjob giver? I rank as a BEI-0 as I have never given one, and never will, but of course I'd love to receive a BEI-8 rated one. "

Well I know someone who's responsible for giving me a fair few BEI -8s ...

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection

Blimey Posh! I need a cold shower now. "

Sorry

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection

Bloody hell posh! "

Not sorry

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"

Well I know someone who's responsible for giving me a fair few BEI -8s ... "

Not guilty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection "

THIS ^^

But I still enjoyed reading the OP

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By *ycanNightsMan
over a year ago

Workington


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection "

Ok that was fucking hot

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Pffft. Can’t be arsed.

I just spit in my hand, use my head & hair as a shield from his vision and do a sneaky wet hand job.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"Pffft. Can’t be arsed.

I just spit in my hand, use my head & hair as a shield from his vision and do a sneaky wet hand job. "

That’s deception!!! You should be ashamed of yourself Mrs. I will be watching. Carefully!!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"I don't think that any rating for any one person will be accurate for that person with everyone they're with. It's surely about the particular coupling at the time.

I mean, the person I'm with might not enjoy me on my knees in front of him, looking up into his eyes as my tongue flicks out to brush the head of his cock. He might prefer when I take the whole thing into my mouth and sink down, engulfing his entire shaft in my throat and feeling those muscles expand and contract around it, coaxing his pre cum with my tongue.

He might not enjoy grabbing my hair and clenching as I wrap my hand around his cock and stroke while sucking the tip... because his preference could be that I'm licking and sucking on his balls as I'm stroking.

He might not want to feel my nose against his stomach and his balls hit my chin as I define deep throat perfectly, as his idea of heaven might be watching me run my tongue over the head, down the shaft, balls, perenium and over his arsehole and back again.

It's not just about what you do. It's more about whether you pay attention to what the person you're doing it to is enjoying. What their body is telling you it wants and needs.

And now I want to give head.

But yeah. Ratings differ from person to person and depend entirely on there being a good connection

Ok that was fucking hot "

Thanks

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon


"Pffft. Can’t be arsed.

I just spit in my hand, use my head & hair as a shield from his vision and do a sneaky wet hand job. "

Shhhhh... you're not meant to tell them ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Pffft. Can’t be arsed.

I just spit in my hand, use my head & hair as a shield from his vision and do a sneaky wet hand job.

Shhhhh... you're not meant to tell them ffs "

So that’s how you can carry on a conversation at the same time…

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