FabSwingers.com forum: How do you make friends as a single adult? I feel lonely lately

By *tag-slag OP TV/TS
over a year ago

NCL

Especially since Covid, it seems all my friends are busy with partners and kids or have moved away. And it’s embarrassing to admit but I only have a handful of friends and quite often I feel lonely especially on weekends. I’ve tried looking into joining clubs etc but doesn’t seem to be many around mg area. How have you made friends as an adult?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Through work. Through wheelchair basketball. And by meeting people socially off here.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

The only friends I've made in years have been from meeting socially off here.

Locally, when I moved to Devon I joined the lifeboat, and made random conversation with people in cafes, coffee shops and pubs. Then I got a part time job in a pub.

It's bloody hard sometimes.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Hey OP. Hope you’re ok?

I’ve found fab great for making friends as I’m in the same boat having no kids and being an eternal single. Hope you can find the same and feel free to message me for a chat anytime

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By *irtdiggerABCMan
over a year ago

torbay

I've become a bit of a recluse since covid, which is partly why I joined this site...but not having much better luck on here either! Haha

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I’m sure your friends with kids and partners would still make time for you even though it likely means going to them know it sometimes feels like intruding but they won’t see it that way

Understand the feeling though in same boat as all have families mostly hang out with my sons

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By *etal MickeyMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"Especially since Covid, it seems all my friends are busy with partners and kids or have moved away. And it’s embarrassing to admit but I only have a handful of friends and quite often I feel lonely especially on weekends. I’ve tried looking into joining clubs etc but doesn’t seem to be many around mg area. How have you made friends as an adult?"

I know how you feel.

I’d look into joining a club or something but between work & my kids I have no free time.

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By *owestoft ManMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

You aren't alone.

After I got divorced I left and came to Lowesotoft. Been here for nearly 4 years and still no friends. Fortunately I have my mum whom I go and see often for company.

Only been on this site a for about 4 months now but still not met or made any friends off here. Lowestoft is probably not the best place to live for finding friends off here. But I do go to Pubs around town and have met a few people I might become good friends.

This is Swingers site although doesn't seem to be the place to meet for anything lol. Maybe try going to Pubs and make friends there.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

[Removed by poster at 17/04/23 01:37:04]

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By *inkerbell67Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

I have autism so making friends is very difficult as I find soical situations difficult,I have started going out at weekends but only for a while but its a start ..

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By *oomarangMan
over a year ago

Chester

I seem to have lost all my friends and family after splitting up with my wife and I’m becoming a bit of a hermit as having nowhere to go or anyone to visit m she’s you that way especially as I work permanent nights as well and a truck driver makes it worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly, apart from a couple most of my friends I've either met through work or the gym. This time last year I was petrified of going, now I feel genuinely accepted there, hobbies are a great way to find like minded people

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Hey it does get a little more difficult to make friends as you get older but a smile helps and a puppy get yourself a puppy

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

If you find the answer please tell me. Since moving it's been quite hard, I do have two friends through work who I adore but I'm more like their mother as they are much younger and at different stages of life.

I'm used to my own company but sometimes it's nice to have a coffee with someone just to natter about life.

Sending hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m a lone wolf. Live alone, die alone!

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

I walk around the streets in victorian attire with a sigh around my neck.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I've no idea, since moving here I met a handful at work but since becoming self employed and them moving away it's very hard to make new friends.

Sorry no help, just to let you know your not alone.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another person here that’d love an answer to this question - hope you find yours x

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By *wales_hotwifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Sorry to hear of your current predicament OP. As others have suggested, if you ever just need a chat, feel free to message. Way too far away for a coffee but the inbox is always open.

My advice would be find a new hobby. A sporting activity or something else that interests you. Hubby bought a weekend “toy car” a year or so ago, now all his mates are people he met from the car scene.

You never know who else is just around the corner, feeling just the same as you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you’re okay OP.

I’ve made friends through work, as I move 80 miles away from friends and family.

I did some volunteer homeless work in spare time where I made some friends for life.

Mrs

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Work, volunteering, hobbies help me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Volunteering can be a good way to find people you have common ground with, I made a good friend through being a volunteer many years ago. I now manage a group of volunteers at work and some of them have formed lovely friendships with each other.

Nell

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Social media across all its various guises, join groups you have interests in and just keep chatting, lots of people out there are happy to make new friendships

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you're ok OP and I completely agree with you that it feels really tough to make friends as an adult.

I don't have any left from school so mine have come through work but also through hobbies. One of my friends has also used Discord as there's a server for his local area that does meet-ups and events that he goes to. Maybe that could be of interest to you?

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I have work colleagues but no close friends. I am quite happy as have 2 dogs who take up alot of my spare time and keep me active.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Send a friend request.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why dont you download a meet up group called MEET UP.then once reg (free) find groups with in your area..

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By *hesblokeMan
over a year ago

Derbyshire village

It can be difficult, no doubt about that, please don't feel that you're 'weird' because it's certainly not just you.

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By *hatMinxOverThereWoman
over a year ago

42 Wallaby Way

I don’t have any friends either, at least not offline anyway. I had an abusive relationship and relied on him for everything and then divorced him just before covid and haven’t really managed to make friends since.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just say a hello plenty of people polite enough here..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Through work mainly...

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By *amhorniestMan
over a year ago

Surrey

Shame you're all so far away,

I'd happily be friends with all of you....all round mine for a party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is tough, OP. When I moved from uni with my ex partner, to a completely new area, I found it really hard to make new friends. I joined a site called Fishing for a friend

and then invited the individuals I met to do things as a group - cinema, salsa, drinks nights. Salsa was good for meeting people, although it really helps if you have some natural dancing ability!

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By *heSilverFox1701Man
over a year ago

Near Sleaford

But I believe we are more disconnected as a society since social media - people in general have very very few friends. I have no friends that I could confide in but lots of “people I know” and could say hi in the street with. It’s funny but I think this is the way society is now.

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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago

Manchester (he/him)

From my experience, a lot of people are in a similar situation, OP. It’s bloody tough as folks become isolated through circumstances and habit, also fear of rejection plays a bit part!

I’ve been trying harder to make connections recently, get out socially and meet new people but it’s a long process to grow these connections organically.

The simple answers are always the best ones; join groups with mutual interests, put yourself in situations where you’ll meet like minded people and try to be brave. Moving outside of your comfort zone is part of the process

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By *eneralKenobiMan
over a year ago

North Angus

Absolutely with you on this, it’s almost as if I typed it

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By *it-chrissyTV/TS
over a year ago

sw. london

i think it's trickier as you get older; everyone's more set in their ways, wounded from life, guarded.

even on sites like this i value actual friendship more than random sex x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pfft as a single? I have 1 friend (other than F) that lives close and I even had to steal him from F, the rest of my friends live across the UK and 1 has moved to Denmark

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Almost all my friends are from my hobbies, martial arts and the gym. I also made great friends from dating. Like others have said I would join a group activity of some sort. Good luck OP.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

Actually weirdly enough an ex girlfriend of mine who I'm still friendly with said this to me a few weeks back, in the first lockdown she left me on my own for 14 months hence shes an ex but she feels lonely i invited her to come stay out in lanzarote when i was there all of December she came for 5 days, shes very friendly and a child psychologist I'm not sure i actually understand how she can feel lonely but she does and I'm always there for her. Its an odd thing loneliness because their are billions of people on this planet she still has all her family but guess you create your own loneliness.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know exactly what you mean. I have recently got divorced and left a career that included lots of travel.

Now I am back home and struggling to find local friends.

My advice is always look in the bright side of life, say yes more than no and talk when times get tough

And have lots of dirty fun on fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The “Meet-Up” app was a great place to start. Lots of local events and things to do.

You do need to put yourself out there and sometimes force conversation but you’ll be rewarded with great people and those with similar interests.

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

The stage that we are in life with family and work commitments there just isn't time for actual friends, there's time for virtual friends if I'm on a break, waiting in the car etc, you can fit in a quick chat.

We have got actual friends but don't seem to spend a lot of time with them, maybe only seeing them once or twice a year, they have also become like our virtual friends mostly just messaging each other back and forth.

Living in the valleys you will chat with numerous amounts of people if I'm shopping or walking the dog as everyone knows everyone here so you will never feel lonely or isolated.

When we do get free time which isn't a great deal, we could meet friends and do sometimes, but we tend to have meets off here instead now.

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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago

Stoke area

I hope you are OK OP, being lonely can be crushing.

I've met people due to my hobbies and doing voluntary work.

Maybe go to fitness sessions, choir, join ramblers or some other hobby. Evening classes, or volunteering are other ways to meet people. Social media can also be a great way to meet others by connecting online and then planning to meet them.

Hope you find some ways to meet people.

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Gigs can be good before, during break and afterwards. Get chatting about music is always a good ice breaker.

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 17/04/23 11:02:16]

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By *tsJustKateWoman
over a year ago

London

I genuinely do not have a single close friend, male or female. I never go out with mates or have any social life outside of Fabswingers.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Inbox is always open if you or anyone ever need a chat

Try local clubs or groups again. There are other activity based sites like ‘Meet Up’ where you can use those connections to build bonds.

Think about the things you’re good at and maybe meet like minded individuals or offer to teach people?

Maybe if you have a hobby you’ve always wanted to try (sports, instruments, writing, cooking) now you can meet people there.

There are often large local(ish) group socials on here which is a nice way to meet people you wouldn’t normally and build a bond

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s ok to be in this position, clearly there are lots of us here in the same boat, life has took us in the journey we were not expecting so none of us should beat ourselves up about it, sending love to all here, stay strong people x

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By *ngelnfugyCouple
over a year ago

Dundee

do your motorcycle test.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Hey, OP. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling and I sincerely hope it’s not getting you down to concerning levels.

I was in a very similar situation to you last year. I moved to Cumbria on my own and had no friends closer than a six hour drive. Some things I either did or considered:

Arrange meetings with friends well in advance. They’re less likely to be cancelled and can become keystones in your diary.

Joined a load of dating sites. If I met someone I didn’t fancy but whose company I enjoyed, we stayed in touch. Even one walk/coffee every few weeks starts to fill up your diary.

Joined a gym and went to the classes. I’m not the kind of guy who will chat to anyone, especially as a guy in a gym, but classes can be friendly, welcoming places.

Looked into new hobbies or resurrecting old ones. With that comes clubs you could join. You can also consider activities, such as walking groups etc.

Arrange a social on Fab. Or maybe ask someone if you can help arrange theirs. It really throws you into the scene. Short of that, get to lots of socials and club nights. It also gives you an excuse to go shopping!!

Look into getting a cheeky part time job. Obviously the job itself takes up some time, but the key here is meeting new people - you might initiate a friendship with a colleague. It doesn’t have to be your favourite ever job or even pay that much, which reduces the pressure. Think more of the social potential.

That’s just my starter for ten.

I hope you find some good things to do with your time and make some fun friends

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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago

yumsville

Commenting

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By *ove2watchMan
over a year ago

weymouth

I did not made any friends since I'm adult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also we could start using Telegram, groups can contain up to 200k members and there no phone number involved and then you can dip in and see who is talking what you align with too

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By *ecadent_DevonMan
over a year ago

Okehampton

It’s a challenging one and no mistake OP. I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t really. I live in a very rural part of the world and being single + working from home has really dented what little social interaction I had.

I think joining clubs, going to your local pub etc as I am sure others have suggested would be a good idea. Some dating apps actually have a looking for friends section.

I took up horse riding again, but that’s not really opened up my social circle.

It’s tough out there, but I wish you well and hope that some of the lovely advice that others have given helps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Volunteering, sports clubs, book clubs, crochet clubs, art clubs...part time short courses.

All great ways of meeting new people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s the irony of modern life. We have never been more readily connected to complete strangers, or remote from real connection. I made new friends by being very open minded about people, not trying to blend in, and putting in effort at a small number of venues.

That said, someone I thought was a friend who I’d known for a number of years, hung out together a lot, suddenly blocked me on whatsapp before Xmas. So sometimes friends really aren’t.

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By *elboy1957Man
over a year ago

Weston-super-Mare

Meet up with others off here, doesn't have to be about sex. A drink and chat maybe a bit of flirting, with people who understand the swinging life style

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By *ixed MisterMan
over a year ago

London

Most of my friends I have not I've met during adult life, only 4 or 5 survived since school or college.

Mainly through sports clubs, friends of friends, random events where I've gone alone and got talking to people and on here.

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By *arkandlovelyWoman
over a year ago

South Derbyshire

Having a baby is a pretty good way to make friends, if not an extreme technique.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

Hobbies and interests.

It’s difficult as an adult, but hobbies - in person or online - have made friends for me.

Climbing, Cycling, geeky tech stuff. You could also count this place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/04/23 20:48:06]

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By *etal MickeyMan
over a year ago

Blackpool

"If you find the answer please tell me. Since moving it's been quite hard, I do have two friends through work who I adore but I'm more like their mother as they are much younger and at different stages of life.

I'm used to my own company but sometimes it's nice to have a coffee with someone just to natter about life.

Sending hugs

I know what you meen, I’m an only child so I’m used to my own company but I also lack & miss having someone just to have a brew and good matter with.

Lack of time doesn’t help either.

I’m sure after posting that you are flooded with guy’s messaging you. I’d be one of them but my name sums me up well ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are we allowed to throw our telegram usernames in the hat and see where it goes, no phone numbers and if things go south then just delete?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I been through enough not to place myself 100% at the mercy of others , l would rather be on my own than try to fit in where l don't want to be , go or be taken to a place where l would rather not be simply because l would have to listen to others go on about absolutely nothing and find nothing to be funny, l don't want to be that person anymore ,lm only saying the obvious here but l find l connect with people that have the same interests as me and to me they're like a breath of fresh air , wether it's movies , music or sport..it's just bliss to be in the company of others that have the same interests as you or are singing from the same page ..and yes that sometimes means sex..be with those that have the same interests, being with someone that hasn't is a complete waste of time ...be honest with yourself no matter what .

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

I live alone, and I really enjoy my own company at home; but when I am out and about, I make a point of talking to dozens of people, especially folks with dogs; a subject, one of many, that I know a lot about.

If people are approached in the right way, politely and respectfully most will respond positively.

I suspect that some people who say they are lonely are actually depressed, that further isolates them

Mercifully, depression is not a clinical condition that I have personally experienced in my life.

Counselling to identify the core cause of being lonely is vital.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

I find it very easy to make... not close friends exactly, but more than acquaintances. Coffee buddies, I guess. Not people I'd necessarily turn to if my life burned down, but people I meet for a natter and a laugh when we're at loose ends at the same time. A social circle.

I have a lot of interests that involve socialising - reading groups, further education courses, dance groups, swimming groups, crafting/jewellery making groups, volunteering groups, cookery classes, I've done most of them in my time.

The key to me seemed to be the fact I was open to initiating conversations and if I found someone I liked I would always suggest meeting outside whatever activity we were involved in ("hey, we should meet up for coffee some time!" Then if the response was positive follow up with "how are you fixed for next week/this weekend/a week on monday/whatever?").

It helps that I'm very sociable and find chatting with strangers very easy, but I figure someone needs to initiate things and it might as well be me!

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

Do have any hobbies, if not do something you enjoy and find other people that like the same thing.

My hobby and work is motorbikes, all of my friends either have or did have a motorbike at some time in their lives.

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By *ez669Man
over a year ago

East Kilbride

Your a far away or you could have came on nyts out with me and the lads

hipfully meet you if this holiday actully happened

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By *ez669Man
over a year ago

East Kilbride

"It is tough, OP. When I moved from uni with my ex partner, to a completely new area, I found it really hard to make new friends. I joined a site called Fishing for a friend

and then invited the individuals I met to do things as a group - cinema, salsa, drinks nights. Salsa was good for meeting people, although it really helps if you have some natural dancing ability!"

I'm thinking you should move to Scotland

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By *ornycouple94123Couple
over a year ago

Peterborough

I find myself in a similar boat. As an adult it's definitely more difficult finding people and having that almost instant connection that leads to a close friendship. Looks like a lot of good advice on here though - time to try my luck with a new hobby

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By *imon_hydeMan
over a year ago

Stockport

It's hobbies for me really. I'm quite good at keeping freinds but making the initial friendship step is difficult. I'm a geek, always have been, and the D&D community is very welcoming I've made good friends through it.

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

If anxiety is an issue, whether generalised or social anxiety, a session with a counsellor could be beneficial to specifically identify the problem and a way forward; small steps to build confidence and social skills is the key.

Not all interactions will be easy or positive, and the difficult and bad ones will be a learning and valuable experience.

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By *ack Flash400Man
over a year ago

The Bat Cave

Glad it's not just me

Being a male you'd think I could just go to the pub and start talking to complete strangers - but not that easy

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I joined Fab. I’ve made some amazing friends over the years.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I met most of my closest friends through work well over 30 years ago. Also through joining groups.

Also I would say repetitive activities. Go to the same places at the same time. Whether that be walknin the same area or going to a coffee shop at the same time..My mum has got to know so many people that go to the coffee shop at the same time

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By *leased to meet youTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend-on-Sea

Well tbh I work live alone but can honestly say I never feel lonely or need a big circle of friends

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch

Don't try to make friends.

Try to explore new hobbies and see what happens. It gives you a common subject to discuss, avoiding awkward silences.

parkrun can be very social, during and in the post run coffee.

There's a website for fetish people, which often has munches (social meets in vanilla settings) which are wonderful, as you can let your freak flag fly.

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By *night in armourMan
over a year ago

stafford

I totally understand the predicament people find themselves in although all different circumstances .

I’m finding things very lonely split up after 26 years before lockdown lost my friend to suicide then my mum aunty and brother (53) all with in three months of each other .

Finding things very lonely at the moment on my own .

Happy just to chat not all about sex

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