FabSwingers.com forum: Ladies HELP!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have been with my wife for 14 years

The first 8were great lots of loving, touching and the sex was great

My wife had period problems 7 years ago and stopped sex

Then she said she had started the change

Now she says that ended 3years ago

She says that she finds me good looking but we have had sex 3times in 6 years and that is through me pestering j suppose

3 years ago during one of my conversations she said that the sex life was over but then back peddled

She will not go on HRT even though friends tell her how good it is

She is quite confrontational and we argue a lot as she bad mouths me in front of staff and friends and if I get angry in return she plays the victim

So in short any advances I make are knocked back immediately

I feel unloved and surperflous to her life and certainly feel that she no longer respects me

I’m now 60

I left my wife to be with her

I don’t want to cheat and I feel that at 60 I should just put up and shut up

What I can’t come to terms with is the rejection and arguments

Is this me am I being mugged off

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

If she's not interested in sex then chat and tell her you want to look elsewhere, surely being honest is better than cheating.

Your already on here so your kinda cheating anyway.

If your not happy together and aren't both willing to work at it and compromise and communicate then surely it's best to leave.

Mrs

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

Hi Chris, I'm sorry that you've both been going through a tough few years.

The menopause is not simply about the cessation of periods. It's a whole lot more, unfortunately.

Can I suggest that you look at the NHS website for information and advice about the menopause.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would she be interested in couple's counseling? Plus you can actually go on your own ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree be honest with her..... it's always the best way x

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

Check out Mumsnet & Hystersisters websites, don't try joining but you can put trigger words in the search bar and read womens real experiences & use that to try & hep both of you.

Women don't understand the menopause so how can we & equally confusing both sides of the fence, Menopace Max is a good alternative to HRT amongst other stuff as well as de-caf drinks to reduce migraine & brain fog.

I sincerely hope but also expect with time & patience she'll be back to a level you both can work from together.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Check out Mumsnet & Hystersisters websites, don't try joining but you can put trigger words in the search bar and read womens real experiences & use that to try & hep both of you.

I sincerely hope but also expect with time & patience she'll be back to a level you both can work from together."

Women don't understand the menopause?

Hurrah for mansplaining!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have been with my wife for 14 years

The first 8were great lots of loving, touching and the sex was great

My wife had period problems 7 years ago and stopped sex

Then she said she had started the change

Now she says that ended 3years ago

She says that she finds me good looking but we have had sex 3times in 6 years and that is through me pestering j suppose

3 years ago during one of my conversations she said that the sex life was over but then back peddled

She will not go on HRT even though friends tell her how good it is

She is quite confrontational and we argue a lot as she bad mouths me in front of staff and friends and if I get angry in return she plays the victim

So in short any advances I make are knocked back immediately

I feel unloved and surperflous to her life and certainly feel that she no longer respects me

I’m now 60

I left my wife to be with her

I don’t want to cheat and I feel that at 60 I should just put up and shut up

What I can’t come to terms with is the rejection and arguments

Is this me am I being mugged off

I haven’t had any meets as my post shows I’m not single

I think this is more of a kink

Or is it

I’m not sure

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

"Check out Mumsnet & Hystersisters websites, don't try joining but you can put trigger words in the search bar and read womens real experiences & use that to try & hep both of you.

I sincerely hope but also expect with time & patience she'll be back to a level you both can work from together.

Women don't understand the menopause?

Hurrah for mansplaining!"

I was talking to another man but appreciate your response. Maybe get a bloke to help you off that high horse. Attack Attack Attack...

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

If she's bad mouthing you in front of friends and staff, then she obviously doesn't love or respect you, if I were you I would leave for my own mental health.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

"Check out Mumsnet & Hystersisters websites, don't try joining but you can put trigger words in the search bar and read womens real experiences & use that to try & hep both of you.

I sincerely hope but also expect with time & patience she'll be back to a level you both can work from together."

Good idea here about looking into the menopause, but maybe check out Dr Louise Newson who is a Menopause Specialist and GP. She has Instagram pages, a book and is a really good source of information.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Have a Clear Concise Conversation with her, telling her all what you have just told us and see if you both can move forward. Ultimately a decision will have to be made in the end though, but you know this, as you have been there before.

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a woman who has needed to start hrt I really feel for you both. It’s confusing and disruptive. If discussing medical interventions is a no go and you’re feeling worse about yourself as a result of this I think you need to do what’s best for you and your needs x sometimes being in a relationship is lonelier than being single

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

OP you need to decide if this relationship is worth saving.

If you think it is, and your wife is willing work with you and attend counselling, delete your profile on here and work together.

If your sure its over, then you need to end it and move on.

Nita

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I have been with my wife for 14 years

The first 8were great lots of loving, touching and the sex was great

My wife had period problems 7 years ago and stopped sex

Then she said she had started the change

Now she says that ended 3years ago

She says that she finds me good looking but we have had sex 3times in 6 years and that is through me pestering j suppose

3 years ago during one of my conversations she said that the sex life was over but then back peddled

She will not go on HRT even though friends tell her how good it is

She is quite confrontational and we argue a lot as she bad mouths me in front of staff and friends and if I get angry in return she plays the victim

So in short any advances I make are knocked back immediately

I feel unloved and surperflous to her life and certainly feel that she no longer respects me

I’m now 60

I left my wife to be with her

I don’t want to cheat and I feel that at 60 I should just put up and shut up

What I can’t come to terms with is the rejection and arguments

Is this me am I being mugged off

"
You moved on before and by the sounds of things you need to move on again, well you've already started you're here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being on here will not solve the problem.

Her menopause issues are only part of the issue. Your wife has to be willing to recognise there is a problem. You both need to do the work on yourselves to be part of changing and repairing your relationship. If she isn't willing then you have a choice stay or leave.

Ultimately you both deserve to be happy.

Personally I chose to leave rather than be in a miserable sexless marriage.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Would she be interested in couple's counseling? Plus you can actually go on your own ... "

I agree with this.

Also it's possibly a mistake to concentrate on the menopause being the root cause of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd just find a married women who's not getting any at home....one life

Yeah yeah blah blah

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