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Sharing Mum and Dad

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Ch4 right now looking at the current legislation on shared parenting.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

Will be interesting although my ex doesn't share parenting unless one night a fortnight counts as shared lol but from a professional point of view I've seen the effect of shared care arrangements and they are very def not good for the children. I look forward to hearing their conclusion!!

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I suspect that the really contentious cases will only be covered in the bubble quotes they are using.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When did your kids become something to share out ffs.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"When did your kids become something to share out ffs.

"

Unfortunately they are treated as assets and become collateral.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When did your kids become something to share out ffs.

Unfortunately they are treated as assets and become collateral."

Now i really do feel sick.............

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

I didn't know Elizabeth Butler-Sloss is Nigel Havers' aunt.

I've always found her judgements to be fair and sound.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my girlie had a row with her dad a while back - he paid maintenance worked out for shared care but they didnt like him so stayed put with just me - she didnt even speak to him for over 2 years - whenever they asked for anything it was - oh i pay your mum for that - she threw it back at him full throttle and in front of the gf - should be grateful he paid up at all -

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"When did your kids become something to share out ffs.

"

Exactly - they're little people not possessions!! It infuriates me that people use them as currency. I know families split as mine did and its difficult but can't the adults be adults and look at whats best for the children and not whats best for the adults!! It's selfish and I've seen the damage it can do!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When did your kids become something to share out ffs.

"

It depends on the parents in question I think. I do believe that children should have both parents in their lives (unless one parent has bad habits, drug/alcohol abuse etc)

I have a 'shared care' agreement & because we are mature people with the child's best interest at heart it works for us.

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Good point from Tim Lovejoy at the end there.

That could have done with an hour - Dispatches of 30 minutes just isn't the same.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry if i caused anyone offence.

I never realised adults actually used the kids as currency to trade.

Must be me and my upbringing that its just wrong to me.

Yes we have raised 2 kids as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that in most cases children should have equal access with both parents although generally its the mum who gets them for most the time but dads are just as good as mums at looking after them and it helps keep building relationships up with both parents ! Obviously schooling has to be taken in to account but it can work and work well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely to god its better for children to be with both parents in event of a split it worked for us.

Dont get me wrong things can be difficult but far too often in past its assumed the mother is deemed best to look after the kids that personally i find appalling attitude.

There are bad parents whether mum or dad. Yet blokes get bad press gladly over last few years more notice is taken of childs view.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire

I'm still not convinced - nothing in the programme swayed my opinion of shared care I'm afraid. I totally agree with rights for both parents but as long as decisions are made within the welfare paramountcy and not just based on 2 adults trying to score one up on each other which is often (but not always) the case!!

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By *icketysplits OP   Woman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound


"I'm still not convinced - nothing in the programme swayed my opinion of shared care I'm afraid. I totally agree with rights for both parents but as long as decisions are made within the welfare paramountcy and not just based on 2 adults trying to score one up on each other which is often (but not always) the case!!"

It wasn't long enough to explore what is really going on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will be interesting although my ex doesn't share parenting unless one night a fortnight counts as shared lol but from a professional point of view I've seen the effect of shared care arrangements and they are very def not good for the children. I look forward to hearing their conclusion!!"

Curious why "shared care arrangements are def not good for the children" ... seems contradictory to my experience with my 3 boys over the last 4 years.

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By *eryBigGirlWoman
over a year ago

East Yorkshire


"I'm still not convinced - nothing in the programme swayed my opinion of shared care I'm afraid. I totally agree with rights for both parents but as long as decisions are made within the welfare paramountcy and not just based on 2 adults trying to score one up on each other which is often (but not always) the case!!

It wasn't long enough to explore what is really going on."

No it wasn't and i don't think its a topic that could be bottomed out however long the programme. I've worked for the past few years with 4 children living in a shared care arrangement and the children had no stability in theirs lives becsuse of all the toing and froing to different houses. The younger ones both had insecure attachments because of the instability and the older ones didn't like being away from their friends. Thankfully the adults finally saw the impact on the children that the arrangement reverted to the children having one home but they have still maintained a high level of contact and actually has a better relationship with both sides. Win win as far as I'm concerned

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