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"I don't know what a red flag is,I tend to stay away from modern day made up words or expression's as that's just what they are,you only know half of what people are actually like online as it's a false world until you chat over the phone or actually meet in a real life situation " And I think that's a really good point. The term red flag seems to mean different things to different people. For me it's something that would put me off on a profile or maybe something someone puts in a message or even a forum post that seems a bit odd. | |||
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"Can't accommodate with no reason why. Profile over a year old with no veris. No pics. One line bios. Photos of just the woman on a couples profile looking for couples. Old profiles with 1 Veri by cam. List of demands. Will meet 99 year olds when they are 25. Single men with wife's belongings in the photos. Cock shots on dirty toilet seats. There's more but that'll do. Mrs " Thanks. And on the first one you mention about not accommodating I actually tweaked my profile to try to explain that a while ago, because someone said that not accommodating suggested that the person had a partner at home and was hiding their fab activities.. | |||
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"Can't accommodate with no reason why. Profile over a year old with no veris. No pics. One line bios. Photos of just the woman on a couples profile looking for couples. Old profiles with 1 Veri by cam. List of demands. Will meet 99 year olds when they are 25. Single men with wife's belongings in the photos. Cock shots on dirty toilet seats. There's more but that'll do. Mrs Thanks. And on the first one you mention about not accommodating I actually tweaked my profile to try to explain that a while ago, because someone said that not accommodating suggested that the person had a partner at home and was hiding their fab activities.." It can mean that yes ,but not always and there are usually other signs that soneones attached . | |||
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"Anyone using their 'preferences' to put others down. Using capital letters screaming the place down. A long list of what you have to offer but little clarification what they bring to the table. Saying they aren't looking for a pen pal. Been on the site over a year with not one meet just a cam veri from Suzie with a hidden profile." The veris is a really good point and I know it's a bone of contention for some people. I definitely look at veris where I can see them but I don't think I'd automatically see a lack of veris as a red flag. | |||
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"There are a few behaviours exhibited by people in the forums and messages that indicate to me that they're not who I want to be around and some wording on profiles. These include entitled, rude behaviour from couples, men who refer to me as 'she' or 'her' and men who aren't able to talk to their partner but want us to infer what they're thinking. " I've found the forums a really useful way to pick up a vibe about people (either positive or negative). And yes the language used can be a good indicator. Always get positive vibes from your posts btw | |||
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"No public pics ,then being cagey about sending any. Single males profiles full of women in various poses & just their hand or cock.So you cant tell what profile it is ie couple/single. Can't accom,using discreet alot & only being able to chat at certain times. Couple profiles with just the women in the pics and 1 cock shot. Derogatory status updates about others. Regular drug references." I think people forget or don't realise that you can see what people have posted on forums... full audit trail! | |||
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"There are a few behaviours exhibited by people in the forums and messages that indicate to me that they're not who I want to be around and some wording on profiles. These include entitled, rude behaviour from couples, men who refer to me as 'she' or 'her' and men who aren't able to talk to their partner but want us to infer what they're thinking. I've found the forums a really useful way to pick up a vibe about people (either positive or negative). And yes the language used can be a good indicator. Always get positive vibes from your posts btw " Bwahaha I've fooled you all | |||
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"I pay little attention to red flags on profiles and focus on those which happen to manifest themselves during messaging. The ones that crop up during messaging are immutable and hard to ignore. Profile narratives, however, can be changed on a whim. " I was going to say this (only not with the word immutable). Good word good point. | |||
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"I pay little attention to red flags on profiles and focus on those which happen to manifest themselves during messaging. The ones that crop up during messaging are immutable and hard to ignore. Profile narratives, however, can be changed on a whim. " So you think the "real" person will be revealed through the communication you have with them. Bit like sampling a wine. You can't tell what it tastes like by reading the description on the bottle... | |||
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"Various things but we all have red flags to someone don't we? I guess I'm trying to say a red flag to me might be a green light to another (to mix it up a bit). For me? Well, lying is a big one. If I find a reason to start losing trust, my libido takes a long time to (re)awaken for that person. I don't mind little lies but big ones are jarring in my mind and cause me to ND spiral a bit. Makes me feel like they don't see me as deserving honesty. There's a difference between not discussing something (fine) and actively lying. If they only talk about themselves. Or themselves and others. No interest in me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a nosy mare. Eternally curious. Could happily listen to someone talk about themselves for hours. I like people who show some real interest in me though. People who believe themselves to be better than others. Who put people down freely and cruelly, often. Any loud signs of 'isms." Good afternoon Meli. And your first point is a large part of what made me think about it. Personal preference and subjectivity. There's a risk of trying to be everything to everyone. You're best being yourself and if that comes across as a red flag to someone then it might just be a green flag to someone else. I think we all prefer 'asms' to 'isms'... | |||
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"I pay little attention to red flags on profiles and focus on those which happen to manifest themselves during messaging. The ones that crop up during messaging are immutable and hard to ignore. Profile narratives, however, can be changed on a whim. · So you think the "real" person will be revealed through the communication you have with them. Bit like sampling a wine. You can't tell what it tastes like by reading the description on the bottle..." • Yes, sort of. The thing with profiles - the narrative particularly - is that they are constructed for the masses and therefore will rarely appeal to everyone. A red flag for one person could be interpreted as a green flag for another. Messaging is more personalised and spontaneous, and whilst ambiguity can flourish here too, red flags are more obvious. Sort of. | |||
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"Guys who are extremely chatty but only during stereotypical ‘work’ hours, then radio silent at all other times " Well I do like to sleep between 11 and 6 when I can... my radio is generally tuned into Fab FM outside those hours. | |||
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"i am a giant red flag" Could you hoist it for the rest of us to see Wonko? | |||
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"So I see a lot of talk about red flags on profiles or in communication with people. What do you consider to be red flags? Can you ignore them? Have you more red flags than Bournemouth beach on a stormy day...? Will you be waving your flags on Coronation day? " Genuinely for me red flags include, bad manners, ignorance, hatred towards others, bad hygiene | |||
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" Bwahaha I've fooled you all " Darn it I was taken in by the profile name.... Red flag for you | |||
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"Various things but we all have red flags to someone don't we? I guess I'm trying to say a red flag to me might be a green light to another (to mix it up a bit). For me? Well, lying is a big one. If I find a reason to start losing trust, my libido takes a long time to (re)awaken for that person. I don't mind little lies but big ones are jarring in my mind and cause me to ND spiral a bit. Makes me feel like they don't see me as deserving honesty. There's a difference between not discussing something (fine) and actively lying. If they only talk about themselves. Or themselves and others. No interest in me. Don't get me wrong, I'm a nosy mare. Eternally curious. Could happily listen to someone talk about themselves for hours. I like people who show some real interest in me though. People who believe themselves to be better than others. Who put people down freely and cruelly, often. Any loud signs of 'isms. Good afternoon Meli. And your first point is a large part of what made me think about it. Personal preference and subjectivity. There's a risk of trying to be everything to everyone. You're best being yourself and if that comes across as a red flag to someone then it might just be a green flag to someone else. I think we all prefer 'asms' to 'isms'... " Oh definitely. I also think, if you're changing yourself to try and be someone's ideal, you're doing them and you a disservice. Life's short, if you've got a red flag either work on it or accept it. I can't think of any 'asms'. Hmmmm. | |||
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"If it's simply looking at a persons profile, the only red flag that I tend to be on the look out for is passive aggression. Like I get it, you're getting jaded by all the grim messages you get from guys and their inability to consider you as a person and what you ask for etc. but you can still be assertive with your needs and preferences without being off-putting" The wording and content of your profile is the shop window and if you get that wrong then you're probably not going to get far on here. At the very least it might put people off who otherwise might have been interested. | |||
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"Anyone that used to utter anything along the lines of 'Oh, I thought it was me next' and have a little tantrum around new veris Not had that in many years thankfully. The ride is closed " Oooo that's a tantalising comment. What ride was that? Sounds like a roller-coaster | |||
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" Yes, sort of. The thing with profiles - the narrative particularly - is that they are constructed for the masses and therefore will rarely appeal to everyone. A red flag for one person could be interpreted as a green flag for another. Messaging is more personalised and spontaneous, and whilst ambiguity can flourish here too, red flags are more obvious. Sort of." So the profile is like the application for the job. You only get a true flavour of the person at interview when they are more likely to reveal more... | |||
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"Red flags to me are more than just differences in tastes or incompatibilities - they're something that could potentially really jeopardise my safety or peace of mind. As an example, a man who messages me and tells me I'll squirt when we meet isn't to my taste, but I wouldn't class that as a red flag per se, just an incompatibility. If I respond that I'm not a squirter so I'm not interested only for him to reply that he can MAKE me squirt, then I start to think that he won't listen to me, won't be concerned for my comfort and potentially won't respect my wishes if I tell him I don't want to do something - big red flag." Good point. So it indicates some kind of coercive behaviour which is 100% triple red flag! | |||
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"Instant red flags for me are graphic pictures - anything where I can see inside someone (or see someone inside them). I find it crude and off putting. In fact, I’d far rather all nudity was the preserve of private pictures to be shared at the owners’ discretion. I also hate crude language such as “filthy bareback cumslut” or any references to illegality, immorality and just downright poor attitudes and behaviour. So many profile bios, pictures and status updates are immediate red flags for me." You never fancied being a midwife then 'I can see the head' ( a someone inside someone) (I will await the blocking) | |||
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"Red flag does indeed mean different things to different people. Red flag to me is a sign of danger, do not swim , Red alert, run for the hills that kind of thing. I don't use fab to meet but It shows me people who I would not even say hi to in a club. My red flags would be .... pushing fantasies and fetishes onto me. They always happen to be hard no for me and it pisses me off they don't even consider that. Not understanding the word NO , can't respect boundaries online? Get to fuck if I'm going to even speak to them in person Getting pissy about hearing a NO , see above Seeing the words "I'll push your boundaries " no , no you won't Anything incelish, talk of Chad's, elite shaggers, give me a chance, it's not fair, creepy meepy shit like that eww no get to fuck don't talk to me ever " And I guess some of that might only come out if you start a communication with them, but then you could break that off as soon as you see any of those things. | |||
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"Instant red flags for me are graphic pictures - anything where I can see inside someone (or see someone inside them). I find it crude and off putting. In fact, I’d far rather all nudity was the preserve of private pictures to be shared at the owners’ discretion. I also hate crude language such as “filthy bareback cumslut” or any references to illegality, immorality and just downright poor attitudes and behaviour. So many profile bios, pictures and status updates are immediate red flags for me. You never fancied being a midwife then 'I can see the head' ( a someone inside someone) (I will await the blocking) " Haha!!! Maren you’d have to do way more than that for a block from me Funnily enough, I love watching surgical programmes on’telleh. It’s just when something that should (to my mind) be rather special and explored sensually, I don’t want it plastered across my phone screen looking like a dropped kebab | |||
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"Right my profile has some red flags! So I will get some pics of me and make sure there’s none in my written profile. " When I started the thread I was also wondering if it might make people think about what's on their own profile... but as others have said the profile is meant to be a reflection of the person or couple and not a projection of what other people are looking for. | |||
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"Instant red flags for me are graphic pictures - anything where I can see inside someone (or see someone inside them). I find it crude and off putting. In fact, I’d far rather all nudity was the preserve of private pictures to be shared at the owners’ discretion. I also hate crude language such as “filthy bareback cumslut” or any references to illegality, immorality and just downright poor attitudes and behaviour. So many profile bios, pictures and status updates are immediate red flags for me." The profile pics themselves can be a good filter. My pics aren't great but I have definitely picked up tips on how to present myself better. But equally there are plenty of folk who like the more graphic images so they maybe have a place.. | |||
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"Right my profile has some red flags! So I will get some pics of me and make sure there’s none in my written profile. When I started the thread I was also wondering if it might make people think about what's on their own profile... but as others have said the profile is meant to be a reflection of the person or couple and not a projection of what other people are looking for. " My major block for no pics of me were, I didn’t want to just have cock pics , but I was actually talking to J last night and she’s going to take some tasteful photos of me in boxers, and some other. Another block is my tattoos are not coverable at all and totally unique to me (my back piece was a one off) which means people that might know me will be able to tell. but I’m going to talk to her about just putting them up. I can always claim it’s coincidence . | |||
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"I pay little attention to red flags on profiles and focus on those which happen to manifest themselves during messaging. The ones that crop up during messaging are immutable and hard to ignore. Profile narratives, however, can be changed on a whim. " Judging by the number of profile help requests in the forums, a good deal of the single male profiles are constructed using the collected wisdom of Fab, so tell you very little of the person behind them. | |||
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" My major block for no pics of me were, I didn’t want to just have cock pics , but I was actually talking to J last night and she’s going to take some tasteful photos of me in boxers, and some other. Another block is my tattoos are not coverable at all and totally unique to me (my back piece was a one off) which means people that might know me will be able to tell. but I’m going to talk to her about just putting them up. I can always claim it’s coincidence ." Sounds like you have some amazing tattoos and I presume you mean they cover a lot of you so can't be covered electronically. You could maybe keep them as "friends only". I think the gist is that it's nice for folk to see something of the male half of a couple as well as the female | |||
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"I pay little attention to red flags on profiles and focus on those which happen to manifest themselves during messaging. The ones that crop up during messaging are immutable and hard to ignore. Profile narratives, however, can be changed on a whim. Judging by the number of profile help requests in the forums, a good deal of the single male profiles are constructed using the collected wisdom of Fab, so tell you very little of the person behind them." I've seen quite a few of those and tbf the feedback I've seen is helpful even if it's just saying write a decent bio or don't just include cock pics. But as others have said the profile in itself often doesn't reveal much about the person. The wording could just have been pinched from another profile. | |||
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" My major block for no pics of me were, I didn’t want to just have cock pics , but I was actually talking to J last night and she’s going to take some tasteful photos of me in boxers, and some other. Another block is my tattoos are not coverable at all and totally unique to me (my back piece was a one off) which means people that might know me will be able to tell. but I’m going to talk to her about just putting them up. I can always claim it’s coincidence . Sounds like you have some amazing tattoos and I presume you mean they cover a lot of you so can't be covered electronically. You could maybe keep them as "friends only". I think the gist is that it's nice for folk to see something of the male half of a couple as well as the female " My arms and my back are well covered . But I just spoke to J and happy to put up pics later. My back is a full back piece of a female grim reaper . I did sell the design to the tattoo place so it’s probably all over by now. Totally understand the reason people want to see both of us and don’t want people put off | |||
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"Red flag does indeed mean different things to different people. Red flag to me is a sign of danger, do not swim , Red alert, run for the hills that kind of thing. I don't use fab to meet but It shows me people who I would not even say hi to in a club. My red flags would be .... pushing fantasies and fetishes onto me. They always happen to be hard no for me and it pisses me off they don't even consider that. Not understanding the word NO , can't respect boundaries online? Get to fuck if I'm going to even speak to them in person Getting pissy about hearing a NO , see above Seeing the words "I'll push your boundaries " no , no you won't Anything incelish, talk of Chad's, elite shaggers, give me a chance, it's not fair, creepy meepy shit like that eww no get to fuck don't talk to me ever And I guess some of that might only come out if you start a communication with them, but then you could break that off as soon as you see any of those things." I don't start to communicate in that way of searching for meets or chatting via DM but I do communicate on the forums often AND I get my inbox flooded with red flag dicks, just tells me who to avoid if I ever run in to anyone in the clubs | |||
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" My arms and my back are well covered . But I just spoke to J and happy to put up pics later. My back is a full back piece of a female grim reaper . I did sell the design to the tattoo place so it’s probably all over by now. Totally understand the reason people want to see both of us and don’t want people put off " Amazing. I'll make sure to check them out when they're posted | |||
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"My arsehole was like the Japanese flag the other day " Ouch. Sounds sore! | |||
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"Can't accommodate with no reason why. Profile over a year old with no veris. No pics. One line bios. Photos of just the woman on a couples profile looking for couples. Old profiles with 1 Veri by cam. List of demands. Will meet 99 year olds when they are 25. Single men with wife's belongings in the photos. Cock shots on dirty toilet seats. There's more but that'll do. Mrs " I know ..with all due respect , l don't know how a person has that they'd meet a 99 yr old on their profile....99 ??..Sorry ..not for me ...99 ?? | |||
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"Can't accommodate with no reason why. Profile over a year old with no veris. No pics. One line bios. Photos of just the woman on a couples profile looking for couples. Old profiles with 1 Veri by cam. List of demands. Will meet 99 year olds when they are 25. Single men with wife's belongings in the photos. Cock shots on dirty toilet seats. There's more but that'll do. Mrs " It’s hard to meet people as a single guy What age limit should a 25 yr old put? | |||
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"Lack of consistency is a major red flag. Attractive bio and amazing pics aren't a great fit with questionable veries and a cuntish forum persona. " sorry | |||
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"So I see a lot of talk about red flags on profiles or in communication with people. What do you consider to be red flags? Can you ignore them? Have you more red flags than Bournemouth beach on a stormy day...? Will you be waving your flags on Coronation day? " It is true, we do have our fair share of red flags out today. Shop advertising boards on the street have gone for a burton. Not to mention hats, doing 50mph on the high street today. Not been on the beach today. But my guess from the tree branches on the roads, Bournemouth beach is not the place to be. I did wear my short skirt and stockings. Weather like this, it had to be done. | |||
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" It is true, we do have our fair share of red flags out today. Shop advertising boards on the street have gone for a burton. Not to mention hats, doing 50mph on the high street today. Not been on the beach today. But my guess from the tree branches on the roads, Bournemouth beach is not the place to be. I did wear my short skirt and stockings. Weather like this, it had to be done. " Keep an eye out for those low flying hats... glad you dressed appropriately for the day Hope the sand didn't get into places it shouldn't have... | |||
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"Can't accommodate with no reason why. Profile over a year old with no veris. No pics. One line bios. Photos of just the woman on a couples profile looking for couples. Old profiles with 1 Veri by cam. List of demands. Will meet 99 year olds when they are 25. Single men with wife's belongings in the photos. Cock shots on dirty toilet seats. There's more but that'll do. Mrs It’s hard to meet people as a single guy What age limit should a 25 yr old put? " You could put any age lower than 99 but not change your mail filters. E.g. you could say that you are seeking 18-40 year olds but women older than that could still message you and not have their message blocked. | |||
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"I met a woman for a social. As soon as we met, she opened her bag, said she'd forgotten her purse and then pulled out a pregnancy test kit box and asked if I'd buy her another one as she thought she was pregnant. Red flag. We didn't get as far as ordering the coffee" That's what you call an expresso date! | |||
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"Can't accommodate with no reason why. Profile over a year old with no veris. No pics. One line bios. Photos of just the woman on a couples profile looking for couples. Old profiles with 1 Veri by cam. List of demands. Will meet 99 year olds when they are 25. Single men with wife's belongings in the photos. Cock shots on dirty toilet seats. There's more but that'll do. Mrs It’s hard to meet people as a single guy What age limit should a 25 yr old put? You could put any age lower than 99 but not change your mail filters. E.g. you could say that you are seeking 18-40 year olds but women older than that could still message you and not have their message blocked." Okay I set mine to 20-59 which is the people I’d like to meet. I get it I’m too young for some and I get that | |||
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"I don't know what a red flag is,I tend to stay away from modern day made up words or expression's as that's just what they are,you only know half of what people are actually like online as it's a false world until you chat over the phone or actually meet in a real life situation " What is your interpretation of a non modern word. | |||
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" Been on the site over a year with not one meet just a cam veri from Suzie with a hidden profile." ...that Suzie is a busy girl | |||
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