FabSwingers.com forum: Let's pretend we work in the fab office...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Anyone who comments on the thread is automatically staff.

Write a brief 'email' to a 'colleague' on the thread that's work orientated but has a naughty kinky meaning.

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By *aekaeWoman
over a year ago

Between a cock and a soft place

I'll work in accounts.

"Double entry" book keeping anyone?

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Good afternoon petite

Just to raise a concern about the recent spate of hole punch incidents around the office. I’m sick to death of having to search the office for a decent hole punch and just to explain why yours keeps ending up on my desk.

It’s the easiest and most effective hole punch in the office and I just can’t help myself.

Kind regards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stock manager:

I’m interested in who keeps putting the goods in the wrong slots in the warehouse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone who comments on the thread is automatically staff.

Write a brief 'email' to a 'colleague' on the thread that's work orientated but has a naughty kinky meaning."

Your needed in my office for some oral dicktation to be taken in hand, full attention needed for satisfactory outcums

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I be the sexy Secretary?

I'd like to meet in the boardroom...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can whomever borrowed Henry from the cleaning cupboard return him tout suite. With ALL the nozzles this time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

@Will work for sushi……

I suggest you don’t lead with your name during your appraisal….

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Please remember the photocopier is for documents only

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Hello, this is the IT department. We need to purge the back end. Please remove all dongles and zip drives so we can complete penetration testing.

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

Or..please wipe the photocopier down after use

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who you I have to fuck to get a promotion??

Asking for me?

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

To whoever stole my Microsoft Office login, I will find you.

You have my word.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Anyone who comments on the thread is automatically staff.

Write a brief 'email' to a 'colleague' on the thread that's work orientated but has a naughty kinky meaning."

Dear Petite, I wanted to thank you for your work on the big ‘Member’ account. It seems your personal touch was exactly what was needed to get the result they wanted, but your use of a small, dedicated team demonstrates our values of inclusivity and customer servicing.

The head of Member was particularly pleased how accommodating you were to his strategy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be the tea lady...

Who wants to nibble on my buns with their morning coffee. I need numbers ASAP

Kind regards

The tea lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going on the sandwich run, who's in?

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

What did everyone do at the weekend?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I be the sexy Secretary?

I'd like to meet in the boardroom..."

Could you help me with something in the stationary cupboard, I need something you sharpen my pencil

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Who you I have to fuck to get a promotion??

Asking for me?

Dear Woody.

Please be advised that the CEO is currently in a meeting with multiple members of staff and will not be available until later. There is a current state of undress the CEO needs to attend to.

Kind Regards

PetiteWoman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"@Will work for sushi……

I suggest you don’t lead with your name during your appraisal….

I'm cheap Woody...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did everyone do at the weekend?

I can tell you who I caught in the stationary cupboard after hours on Friday and he was doing more than taking down her particulars

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be the tea lady...

Who wants to nibble on my buns with their morning coffee. I need numbers ASAP

Kind regards

The tea lady"

Ooh me please. With real cream, I hope?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be the tea lady...

Who wants to nibble on my buns with their morning coffee. I need numbers ASAP

Kind regards

The tea lady

Ooh me please. With real cream, I hope?

For you anything, you can have extra

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"What did everyone do at the weekend?

I can tell you who I caught in the stationary cupboard after hours on Friday and he was doing more than taking down her particulars

I bet he was stealing the sellotape… again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be the tea lady...

Who wants to nibble on my buns with their morning coffee. I need numbers ASAP

Kind regards

The tea lady

Ooh me please. With real cream, I hope?

For you anything, you can have extra

I do love me some fresh buns, hun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll work in accounts.

"Double entry" book keeping anyone?

I actually am an accountant, and I need someone to credit my balls and debit their face

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

General email to all

Please stop photocopying your bits and bobs....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm the boss.

I want ALL of you in my office at 5pm for naked over time

Mrs C xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Notice to all staff.

Please do not set off the fire alarm unless there is a an actual fire.

We have had some complaints of staff not wearing white shirts or blouses on the series of random fire alarms this week.

Kind Regards

PetiteWoman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cc'd to you all...

Stop wanking in my Mushroom pot noodles, im allegic to special sauce

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

I'll do the disciplinary. Who's first

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

IT dept here. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did everyone do at the weekend?

I can tell you who I caught in the stationary cupboard after hours on Friday and he was doing more than taking down her particulars

I bet he was stealing the sellotape… again

Well, I could tell you who I saw doing what to who with sellotape...in the middle of the day as well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

IT dept here. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

@it dept, I've got some ram for you to to take a look at..

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

New consignment of sex toys just arrived - volunteers needed to collectively and objectively test drive and rate them all please.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

IT dept here. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Very easily turned on, seems difficult to turn me, sorry it, off. Might need a hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can everybody who is attending the annual orgy photoshoot be ready to strip off on the boardroom in 15 minutes.

Crystal - Marketing manager

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"What did everyone do at the weekend?

I can tell you who I caught in the stationary cupboard after hours on Friday and he was doing more than taking down her particulars

I bet he was stealing the sellotape… again

Well, I could tell you who I saw doing what to who with sellotape...in the middle of the day as well

IT have taken all my permissions away. My Internet history is being searched

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Can everybody who is attending the annual orgy photoshoot be ready to strip off on the boardroom in 15 minutes.

Crystal - Marketing manager "

Crystal, have you remembered the custard? Catering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I be the penetration tester?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What did everyone do at the weekend?

I can tell you who I caught in the stationary cupboard after hours on Friday and he was doing more than taking down her particulars

I bet he was stealing the sellotape… again

Well, I could tell you who I saw doing what to who with sellotape...in the middle of the day as well

IT have taken all my permissions away. My Internet history is being searched

I'm not surprised you mucky devil

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

"Can I be the penetration tester?

Only if you can penetrate everyone so that a fair comparison can be made.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

IT dept here. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

@it dept, I've got some ram for you to to take a look at.. "

OK, I'll byte.

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By *X2019Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm happy to work in the occ health department. Need to ensure all staff are fit for work, via a thorough examination

Also happy to help out maintenance dept part time, with any repairs, fillings and drillings

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A gently reminder to you all, you all need to remind verifications dept. Of who you met, what date you met. For the graphic veris to be on profiles by the end of the month..

Thankyou...Sushi @veris

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Vacant Position

We are urgently seeking a member to this role. Must be hard working, pay attention to detail and work efficiently in a large group or independently.

Previous experience required but not essential.

Please go to the HR dept for an aptitude test to qualify.

Please note you will be required to do a trial.

Kind Regards

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

IT dept here. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Very easily turned on, seems difficult to turn me, sorry it, off. Might need a hand

There appears to be a large Trojan disrupting our usual smmoth and efficient service.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To the IT department. The Internet is running slow, perhaps you need to check the browser history and clear some memory

IT dept here. Have you tried turning it off and on again?

@it dept, I've got some ram for you to to take a look at..

OK, I'll byte.

OK I'll download my boxers for proper inspection

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"What did everyone do at the weekend?

I can tell you who I caught in the stationary cupboard after hours on Friday and he was doing more than taking down her particulars

I bet he was stealing the sellotape… again

Well, I could tell you who I saw doing what to who with sellotape...in the middle of the day as well

IT have taken all my permissions away. My Internet history is being searched

We have throttled your downstream and will be hand-wiping your system.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Vacant Position

We are urgently seeking a member to this role. Must be hard working, pay attention to detail and work efficiently in a large group or independently.

Previous experience required but not essential.

Please go to the HR dept for an aptitude test to qualify.

Please note you will be required to do a trial.

Kind Regards

Pw I'll drop my cv into your private mail box

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Who you I have to fuck to get a promotion??

Asking for me?

Dear Woody.

Please be advised that the CEO is currently in a meeting with multiple members of staff and will not be available until later. There is a current state of undress the CEO needs to attend to.

Kind Regards

PetiteWoman "

Later? do you want me to cum in for overtime?

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

There is a shortage of bulldog clips, will all users please return them to stores, preferably clean please.

As a reminder, bulldog clips should only be used for holding papers together, any other use is forbiden unless santioned by management.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Everybody, please insert extra devices right now as we can not cope with such large uploads.

Thanks IT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I be the penetration tester?

Only if you can penetrate everyone so that a fair comparison can be made."

I'm always one for half arsing a job so may only be able to get round to the women and couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everybody, please insert extra devices right now as we can not cope with such large uploads.

Thanks IT"

@it, can u cope with my external hard drive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not from maintenance

Personal devices must not at any time be charged using company resources.

Please take them home with you each night

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear all,

Can whoever jizzed in a tub and labelled it "milk alternative" please stop it as it's not a good substitute in coffee!

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Please do not sit on the photocopier number 1 it soils number 2 it cracks and number 3 it remembers who took the photo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could someone help me fill my box?

Toni, Sales

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your going to phone Paul's number from off the toilet wall, ppz do it outside of office hours. Your affecting his productivity

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who’s been double dipping from Stacey’s pot?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear office,

We're running dangerously low on petty cash and there's been in influx of sex toy deliveries. Can we please stick to genuine office supplies?

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

Hi Gertrude,

Can you please forward to me the project's Non-Fucktional Requirements (NFRs)? I've asked PeTITeWoman but she appears to be on Anal Leave and hasn't set her out-of-orifice message.

Regards,

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

I just appear to be cc’d on all of these emails. Nobody knows what I *actually* do…. In fact nor do I

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Everybody, please insert extra devices right now as we can not cope with such large uploads.

Thanks IT

@it, can u cope with my external hard drive "

We should be able to handle it. If necessary we can bring in extra staff.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hi Gertrude,

Can you please forward to me the project's Non-Fucktional Requirements (NFRs)? I've asked PeTITeWoman but she appears to be on Anal Leave and hasn't set her out-of-orifice message.

Regards,

N."

Dear Nero

Can you please cum and sort my spell check out I much prefer yours, and my out-of-orifice too when available.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just appear to be cc’d on all of these emails. Nobody knows what I *actually* do…. In fact nor do I

You're definitely in marketing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be working from home for the next few days, if you need me in a meeting, don't expect me to turn my webcam on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everybody, please insert extra devices right now as we can not cope with such large uploads.

Thanks IT

@it, can u cope with my external hard drive

We should be able to handle it. If necessary we can bring in extra staff.

Outside assistance is always needed. The more the merrier

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Dear all,

The security department regrets to inform you all that the back doors of the bike shed have been smashed in. A number of the village bikes you'd normally ride on have been stølen. For the next week, we advise that you look for an alternative means of transport. Security is happy to assist colleagues if they need to be taken up (to) the Tube

Best regards,

The FabMin Village Security Team

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By *ez669Man
over a year ago

East Kilbride

Tech support and knowing to be a bit of a slag

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

The IT department is becoming very frustrated. Too many staff are still using floppies. Only hard internal equipment is suitable or we can provide something plug'n'play if that fits your requirements better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'll be working from home for the next few days, if you need me in a meeting, don't expect me to turn my webcam on

Please come to the office offive immediately. We need to discuss your availability and webcam settings. Please bring you laptop with you so we can help you with the settings.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

"I just appear to be cc’d on all of these emails. Nobody knows what I *actually* do…. In fact nor do I

You're definitely in marketing. "

Yes. Yes I am….

“Head of marketing”. I can market various heads…

Anyway back to “social media networking” (wanking on fab)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'll be working from home for the next few days, if you need me in a meeting, don't expect me to turn my webcam on

Please come to the office offive immediately. We need to discuss your availability and webcam settings. Please bring you laptop with you so we can help you with the settings. "

Yeah, sure that's completely fine, no worries... *rubs wet wipe over keyboard*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d like to be the first aider!

Would anybody like to join my first aid training course?

1st lesson. The kiss of life!

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

Following a time and motion study it has been concluded that nobody in the office fufills any work related function due to lack of available time.

Therefore on the basis that no staff are needed to maintain the current website status the office will close and all staff will be made redundant.

Sorry folks, thank you all for your devotion to promoting every possible sexual activity but please feel free to carry on with your valuable research at home.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Dear HR,

Further to your request for me to visit your department because I am to be disciplined, I would like to request this is done by Sally and I would like to choose her outfit.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*"

I hope it's a disciplinary

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Following a time and motion study it has been concluded that nobody in the office fufills any work related function due to lack of available time.

Therefore on the basis that no staff are needed to maintain the current website status the office will close and all staff will be made redundant.

Sorry folks, thank you all for your devotion to promoting every possible sexual activity but please feel free to carry on with your valuable research at home."

Flagging this email!

Can IT please ensure unwanted emails and spam are dealt with promptly as per their job description.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*"

*Does a u turn with her squeaky wheeled tea trolley to see who's doing what to who and where*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll be the hunky office runner who everyone has a guilty crush on and who kinda knows and works for everyone and occassionaly brings the coffee and donuts.

See you in the store cupboard.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Dear All

A quick reminder that we have contractors in next week. They will be working in the back office and dispatch area, testing anything with a plug. If you could give your area a little clean and make sure everything is backed up as required.

Thanks B

EH&S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*"

I was on my lunch break wasn’t I?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear HR,

Further to your request for me to visit your department because I am to be disciplined, I would like to request this is done by Sally and I would like to choose her outfit. "

Please contact the compliance team. They will assist you with your request.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*"

That *definitely* sounds like a marketing problem…

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*

*Does a u turn with her squeaky wheeled tea trolley to see who's doing what to who and where* "

Me and the tea lady were in the cupboard talking football. Her panties coming off was just fortunate

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*"

Do we need to bring a pen?

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Following a time and motion study it has been concluded that nobody in the office fufills any work related function due to lack of available time.

Therefore on the basis that no staff are needed to maintain the current website status the office will close and all staff will be made redundant.

Sorry folks, thank you all for your devotion to promoting every possible sexual activity but please feel free to carry on with your valuable research at home.

Flagging this email!

Can IT please ensure unwanted emails and spam are dealt with promptly as per their job description.

Apologies PW, unfortunately staff members appear to have cliqued on certain off-limit areas leading to an increase in viruses

We will endeavour to offer a clean up service.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*PW walks across the office in tight pencil skirt, slightly unbuttoned blouse and heels. Points to several staff members and then her office and says you are needed for an urgent staff meeting NOW*

That *definitely* sounds like a marketing problem…

Also the head of the audio and visual team should to present, so happens I saw this email just in time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Due to recent incidents. We will be replacing all current desks with clear glass ones. This is a place of business, which you are paid for. Take YOUR business home with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who's the office manager btw?

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By *ez669Man
over a year ago

East Kilbride

Who do i see about a raise

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Hi Gertrude,

Can you please forward to me the project's Non-Fucktional Requirements (NFRs)? I've asked PeTITeWoman but she appears to be on Anal Leave and hasn't set her out-of-orifice message.

Regards,

Dear Nero

Can you please cum and sort my spell check out I much prefer yours, and my out-of-orifice too when available.

PW "

•

Dear PeTITeWoman,

If your sir-cum-stances are clitical then I am more than willy to supply you with technical support cervixes.

Hoping for a sucksex-full outcome.

Regards,

Nero.

P.S. You can connect with me on LickedIn

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

•

Dear PeTITeWoman,

If your sir-cum-stances are clitical then I am more than willy to supply you with technical support cervixes.

Hoping for a sucksex-full outcome.

Regards,

Nero.

P.S. You can connect with me on LickedIn"

Dear Nero

I think you'll find this is the It department's area of sexpertise. No ifs or butts.

Regards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear PetiteWoman,

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for giving me the chance to work under you, however, I believe now is the time to hand in my resignation as although my skills have been appreciated by many, it's time for a new challenge.

I'll always remember the great times with fantastic work colleagues, but this new adventure was too good to pass up. I wish you, and everyone else the best in your time at the Fab office

*UNLOS*

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

"Who's the office manager btw?"

That would be the biggest wanker of all time.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Memo to all :

Fab offices are filthy.

But not as filthy as your mother.

We have vacancies for naked cleaners.

If you are applying, please be aware that men with less than 6 inch

hands and women with less than 42 d

usters need not apply. We are particularly interested in wimps n wusses who can lick behind their own ears and have an aversion to money.

Thank you.

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

Please be aware that admin is here to tidy up loose ends so if you have any loose ends in need of tidying please contact admin.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Would all those workers laughing at the 'Admin are people too' poster - please make use of the self imposed 72 hour banning facility.

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Msg from HR

Please ensure any underwear sent in the internal mail is dry, Pete the posty has trouble separating certain packages and it delays his delivery

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

All applicants for prick of the week to be on display naked ready for inspection lunch time today.

The judges will present an award to the biggest prick of all.

Previous winners excluded to give eberyone a chance of being prick of the week.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

•

Dear PeTITeWoman,

If your sir-cum-stances are clitical then I am more than willy to supply you with technical support cervixes.

Hoping for a sucksex-full outcome.

Regards,

Nero.

P.S. You can connect with me on LickedIn

Dear Nero

I think you'll find this is the It department's area of sexpertise. No ifs or butts.

Regards

•

Dear J,

Will our hotel meet be slapped onto the company sexpense account?

Hopefully it's not considered a (friends with) benefit in kind and affect any incum tax issues.

Yours Sin-cerely,

Nero.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I’ll be the head of complaints, bet you £10 they only complain once.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our hiring manager has been inundated with applications from gents...please hold whilst a certain number are politely 'filed'

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Or..please wipe the photocopier down after use

Oops... sorry..

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Or..please wipe the photocopier down after use

Oops... sorry..

•

It must be a Hewlett-Crapard™.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

"Or..please wipe the photocopier down after use

Oops... sorry..

•

It must be a Hewlett-Crapard™."

Canon actually..

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Dear Nero

I think you'll find this is the It department's area of sexpertise. No ifs or butts.

Regards

•

Dear J,

Will our hotel meet be slapped onto the company sexpense account?

Hopefully it's not considered a (friends with) benefit in kind and affect any incum tax issues.

Yours Sin-cerely,

Nero.

Dear Nero

I must remind you that inappropriate use of company resources will result in a dressing down orally and perhaps even a disciplinary.

So yes, let's go for it!

Yours,

Miss Appropriation

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Building manager

Please stop from leaving clothes in the changing rooms and stop asking for hanky panky in the well-being room as the massages are all over the the clothes

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Err....the cleaner has taken my clothes. Does anyone have spare keks?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Kitchen Staff

Please refrain from making Mash Potato Willie's for the female staff in Admin, you are currently making the Male employee's feel inadequate...

Regards

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Dear Facilities Management,

Where is the best place in the building to find a four-way gang?

Thanks,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Facilities Management,

Where is the best place in the building to find a four-way gang?

Thanks,

IT"

The electrical storage cupboard

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Dear Facilities Management,

Where is the best place in the building to find a four-way gang?

Thanks,

IT"

Probably in Accounts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Note to all:

Sydney University is still searching for the perfect pictures. So feel free to participate and share your privates.

Any copulation however will need to be supervised at all times by a manager or team leader

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Dear Facilities Management,

Where is the best place in the building to find a four-way gang?

Thanks,

The electrical storage cupboard "

Shocking!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

All staff working in the spray area.,

After a number of cases of pink eye in the last few weeks, we have updated the ppe requirements.

Effective immediately, anyone finishing a job by hand must now wear full facial protection.

Thanks

EH&S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Facilities Management,

Where is the best place in the building to find a four-way gang?

Thanks,

The electrical storage cupboard

Shocking! "

Best hurry we are currently low in stock

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Dear Facilities Management,

Where is the best place in the building to find a four-way gang?

Thanks,

The electrical storage cupboard

Shocking!

Best hurry we are currently low in stock "

Not surprising, everyone wants a bit of multiway action. I'm on my way.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Team,

Does anyone have a four-way extension cable please? I can't get all my plugs into one hole

Just stick it on my desk, ta.

Mrs KC

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Chief medical officer here you should have got the memo when I took up the role .

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

To whom it may concern.

Please refrain from shoving your large packages into the small slot. They keep getting stuck and forcing them out is causing damage to the small slot. ( Yes Nigel, I've tried using WD40)

Please now place all packages in the big box.

All packages must be fully wrapped to prevent cross contamination.

Thank you. Shipping and logistics.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would anyone like to work late?

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By *oldAndBoundlessMan
over a year ago

Bradford

MsWyld just popping this email in to your inbox to remind you that the new adaptations to the toilet area is now complete we hope that you find that the men’s and ladies are now situated next to each other with last man’s cubicle is directly next to the last ladies cubicle, with a various sized holes in to each other, we would love to hear your feedback on the new additions and hope you enjoy the new glory holes x

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By *orphia2003Woman
over a year ago

Tonypandy.

To whom it may concern.

Please return my cable ties, packing tape and pallet wrap, you bloody thieves.

From shipping dept.

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By *ildbillkidMan
over a year ago

where the road goes on forever

Teamwork,re the overseas accounts, remember teamwork makes the dreamwork

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Delivery Department

Please stop emptying your entire sack over my desk in my absence.

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By *dward_TeagueMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

From the old typing pool days.

Can I use your dictaphone?

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