FabSwingers.com forum: Have you ever gone back?

By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.

Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ex's are Ex's for a reason

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Never. As I said on another thread I'm very much a leave it in the past person. For me once it's finished, it's done

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Oh no, you went there.....

Nope,nope,nope

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Why do you think you shouldn't have Op?

Yes I have done. There's a beautiful, beautiful man who I dated for a couple of years. We would drive each other insane by the end of it but the sex was really great. No, scratch that. It was perfect. He knew exactly how to read my body and I his, when we were fucking it was pure lust. Desire. All of that.

So, he got in touch recently. Some rubbish reason about reading an article and thinking about me, you know the sort of thing.

Anyway, the sex is still fucking incredible. I don't want to date him. At all. Can't do that again. I'd like to have sex with him again but I'm currently protecting my heart a little bit more so it's probably a bad idea. I'm hoping we can stay friends who have sex from time to time.

So yes, I'm awful for it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it just leads to miscommunication and hurt for someone. I like my life drama and pain free so I avoid those types of scenarios.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

You kinda used her but I'm still friends with my ex so i forgive you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You were open about what you wanted, did she reciprocate her expectations? I guess as long as you made it clear it was just sex and she knew that then all good, just dont give her hope by repetition of the act. That's when things get complicated I guess

And yes it's happened to me. Not something that will ever be repeated I'm worth more than that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I'm over someone, I'm completely over them. It's like a switch in my head and any attraction to them just goes.

All except one guy, he could message me and I'd drop everything just to see him.

And yes it would lead to sex.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

Yes, it was a bad idea.

Great at the time, but the aftermath was messy, emotionally, for me.

I think he disconnected the second he came, personally.

He actually said it, publicly as well, which was tough.

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Why do you think you shouldn't have Op?

So, he got in touch recently. Some rubbish reason about reading an article and thinking about me, you know the sort of thing.

So yes, I'm awful for it.

This is a good perspective, Meli, but, as others have said, I’m usually firmly in the camp of what’s done is done.

I suppose as long as you both know definitively it is occasional shagging when the desire and opportunity presents, and no one is catching feelings or getting hurt, there’s no issues with it.

This woman wouldn’t subscribe to that so I feel like I shouldn’t have gone there. Hopefully she won’t think less of me for it.

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"You were open about what you wanted, did she reciprocate her expectations? I guess as long as you made it clear it was just sex and she knew that then all good, just dont give her hope by repetition of the act. That's when things get complicated I guess

And yes it's happened to me. Not something that will ever be repeated I'm worth more than that"

Agreed

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No I wouldn't be sexually attracted to someone I disliked, ex is an ex for a bloody good reason

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Yes, it was a bad idea.

Great at the time, but the aftermath was messy, emotionally, for me.

I think he disconnected the second he came, personally.

He actually said it, publicly as well, which was tough."

He said it publicly? That's really fucking awful. Sorry you went through that x

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

When I was younger, yes.

But now I’m older and hopefully a bit wiser. No. It’s all fun and games and exciting at the start, a bit of a thrill, a bit of a challenge. Then it starts to eat away at you a little bit and you feel demoralised. Fuck that for a laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hell no, I'd rather my tits fall off than go back to any of my exes.

Once you have 'the ick' you can never go back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I won’t even go back to get my loyalty card stamped from a coffee shop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. I've gone back once, I've gone back multiple times (different people) It's never worked out well and I've learnt my lesson. The past is the past and needs to stay there along with the people in it.

Pxx

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

The past in done, leave it be and the future will take care of itself so long as you are present in the here and now.

Going back to a past relasionship is living for the past.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never have gone back, but I would with my last ex,

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

It happened OP. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

And yes. Of course I’ve done it..

Life has its ups and downs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.

We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.

Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

100%! When the sex is amazing it's ten times harder not to go back x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never go back

Only way to go is forward

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.

We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.

Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.

That sounds pretty tough on you both. Seems as though you are both destined to stay in the loop. Relationships aren’t always as simple as we’d like, huh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.

We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.

Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.

Been there dude, it's soul crushing when you see them causing so much destruction due to their mental health, worse still when they know they're doing, feel guilty, but won't stop. I was no prize myself during that time, I messed up a lot too

As PawgSlut pointed out too in the comment above, when the sex is beyond anything you've ever had before, it's almost impossible to let go

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. "
I've change my mind.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I have done. We had split up and carried on having the sex for about a year.

It really messed with my head and I'd not do it again. I wish I'd said no the first time.

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By *heGateKeeperMan
over a year ago

Stratford

Yes and the sex was unreal

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By *adyBugsWoman
over a year ago

cognito

I think my ex’s current and very long term girlfriend might have something to say about that…and she already has enough to say about me without adding that

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"100%! When the sex is amazing it's ten times harder not to go back x"

Hooray!

Thank goodness at least one person other than me can see something positive about keeping a good sexual liaison on the books.

There are loads of good reasons for not sharing you life with someone who it didn't work out with but it doesn't mean you have to give up what was good.

Unless you have promised someone new that you won't go back!

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"I recently reconnected with an old flame who popped up on my dating app. I messaged just to say hi (which I fully appreciate is unfair on her) and we chatted. That led to a coffee which led to her bed. Other than a brief moment of lust, I had no desire to regenerate a relationship and I was very open about that. I don’t feel like I led her on but I suspect she would say yes if I asked her out.

Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to?"

Why wouldnt you? If its good and both want to? Why so many non sensical rules?

They are exes for a reason?

They were partners for a reason?

People change.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. I've change my mind.

What?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather fuck a charging rhino than go anywhere near the ex

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Go up....... The only way is up for you and me babe

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to?"
I've been going back to two of my exs for many years.. one on and off over 24 years..

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"I'd rather fuck a charging rhino than go anywhere near the ex "

I wonder if she’ll be secretly pleased with that analogy?!

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to? I've been going back to two of my exs for many years.. one on and off over 24 years.. "

And do you feel that it’s not in healthy for you both? I guess if no one is being hurt emotionally or prevented from moving on, then it’s a good thing.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

Have you ever done that when you know you shouldn’t? Has your innie winkie or outey winkie ever taken over your brain and made you make the sex with someone you know you shouldn’t go back to? I've been going back to two of my exs for many years.. one on and off over 24 years..

And do you feel that it’s not in healthy for you both? I guess if no one is being hurt emotionally or prevented from moving on, then it’s a good thing."
one it's an utterly fuck up and we both should know better but it's the best sex either have ever had.. so we still dabble.

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By *orthern StarsCouple
over a year ago

Durham

Definitely not. My ex is an ex for an extremely good reason.

Ruby

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By *inballs99Man
over a year ago

Blackheath

Yes I did stupidly and she wouldn't leave it there she went on to ruin my marriage and cost me everything!!!!

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

"Ex's are Ex's for a reason "

This

Too many forgot this though especially when after a quick fuck

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Yes I have...and would still with my "0ne to that got away"...I would get back to her in a heart beat

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Yes I did stupidly and she wouldn't leave it there she went on to ruin my marriage and cost me everything!!!!"

How could she ruin your marriage?

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"Yeah. A bit more complex than that though.

We were completely head over heels for each other, but she had some quite serious MH issues. Couldn't really cope with relationships so we tried, split up, tried again ad infinitum.

Love isn't always enough unfortunately. I insist on learning the hard way though. We tried just making it sex, tried just being friends, always ended up in the same place.

As PawgSlut pointed out too in the comment above, when the sex is beyond anything you've ever had before, it's almost impossible to let go

Very true. Kudos to PawgSlut for hitting the nail on the head.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

For actual relationships, absolutely not.

For casual things that ended for logistic reasons, absolutely happy to pick that up again when it's viable

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By *929Man
over a year ago

newcastle

I went back to my ex twice after she left. Was pointless in end as still didn’t work out but do t regret it as got more years living with both my kids while they were still young.

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"For actual relationships, absolutely not.

For casual things that ended for logistic reasons, absolutely happy to pick that up again when it's viable

Prey - I think you’ve stuck a nail in the very core of this! Couldn’t have put it better myself. You may award yourself one Kit Kat.

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By *J GeminiTV/TS
over a year ago

Northumberland

I did once, never again!

The worst thing I ever did. A case of history repeating itself!

I learnt my lesson, Xx

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Prey - I think you’ve stuck a nail in the very core of this! Couldn’t have put it better myself. You may award yourself one Kit Kat."

That I was only given Cadbury eggs for Easter when it turns out there were biscoff kitkat ones out there is genuine heresy. But luckily the shop over the road is selling the white biscoff kitkats still, so I will endure.

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By *ittleMissCaliWoman
over a year ago

all loved up

"100%! When the sex is amazing it's ten times harder not to go back x"
yeah this is my issue... my ex is still the best I've ever had..and not been able to ever get close to it with anyone else.. I keep saying the last time is the last time... then it happens again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went for on holiday with my ex 5 months after we split

We only booked it the week before we flew

First night was great

Second night was a disaster

That seemed to clear the air though and we did have a nice week all things considered

We did have separate beds though

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

What is my winkie ?

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

I went back to one of my first gfs a couple years back ended up doing the whole relationship thing again of course didn't work out again however we're are still friends

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Nope

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. I've change my mind.

What?

"
Did you panic for a second.

Unless you are.........K

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, several times with the same person. The sex was incredible, the relationship was not

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

"There's one ex whom I think I would go back to, even though it's taken years to get over him. He didn't do anything wrong and nor did I and I still think he's a wonderful man. I've change my mind.

What?

Did you panic for a second.

Unless you are.........K

Sorry, I'm just being mean, I don't know you.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

When I’m done I’m done & although usually stay friends it’s not always possible.

There was someone a while ago who when it ended said she was going to block me here and on WhatsApp , to stop her doing late night d*unken booty call and I was a bit upset I totally respect that she needed to so that this kind of thing doesn’t happen

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a positive note, my Mum & Dad were married from 1959 to 1974 and again from 1985 until 2022 when Mum passed away

So, going back isn't always a bad thing

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"On a positive note, my Mum & Dad were married from 1959 to 1974 and again from 1985 until 2022 when Mum passed away

So, going back isn't always a bad thing

That’s a nice story. I have a friend who is divorced and just about to move in with her school sweetheart. I’m so chuffed for her.

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By *elix Sighted OP Man
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"What is my winkie ?"

You have an innie winkie (I’m assuming!) so that would be your twinkle cave

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No never, never, never. I only have one ex and it is a no, no, no.

So No, never

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Yes. And then when they acted the same way again, I was done... It kind of proved my point, the sex was still fun though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope never with an ex.

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