FabSwingers.com forum: Your Top Tips...."Viz" style....#1

By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

File down a 50p piece to instantly fit a 20p coin slot.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Coin on a string trick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use your door key instead of a pound in Aldi trolleys

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Call anyone called Peter ..." Pete"... to save valuable time.

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

The public recycling centre in Basingstoke.

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Don't watch " Swedish naked hardcore nurse #3" or

"Swedish naked hardcore nurse #2"

without watching the first film..you won't have a clue what's going on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Avoid large fines by the police for using your mobile while driving by putting your mobile in a sea shell and telling the police you are listening to the sea.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m still waiting for

Sharon and Tracey to turn up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Instead of wasting money buying a shed and fitting it out with a bar, pool table and telly and calling it your "Mancave" just dig a small to medium size hole in your garden and sit in it

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Avoid large fines by the police for using your mobile while driving by putting your mobile in a sea shell and telling the police you are listening to the sea."

Or better yet. Get a giant 'ear' phone case and then use your phone at will even when the rozzers are driving alongside you by simply pretending to scratch your freakishly large ear.

*this works best if you're from Norfolk or your parents are brother and sister.

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By *batMan
over a year ago

Alicante, Spain. (Sometimes in Wales)

When having a summer garden party, keep a kettle of water on a rolling boil. Then, if any children start choking on ice cubes you can immediately flush them out with the kettle's contents.

Gbat

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By *cott73Man
over a year ago

brighton

SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Best Viz tips I saw were;

Save money on a private reg by changing your name by deedpoll.

SW52 ASD

Newcastle.

Paint a mattress black and leave it in your front garden so your neighbours will think you've had a house fire!

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By *rAitchMan
over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

When walking upstairs, stomp on each step twice. Your neighbours will think you have twice as many steps than they have.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Save electricity. Wank by hand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An empty smarties tube filled with angry wasps makes a very inexpensive vibrator.

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Cinema go-ers..

Avoid annoying people Bobbing up and down on the front row by writing to the manager requesting they remove the front row of seats

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Avoid large crowds by supporting Rochdale football club

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

Have the beach all to yourself by taking your dog - rename your dog " Shark"

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"An empty smarties tube filled with angry wasps makes a very inexpensive vibrator. "

If you filled it with bees you could sell it on Lovehoney!

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

To remove a stain from an expensive dress..mark the area with a permanent marker pen....use a good quality stain remover like ' vanish'..

You'll quickly be able to identify the area to see if the stain has gone

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By *ryan... OP Man
over a year ago

1950's Original

If outdoors and can't get a signal..hold your phone up so it's a lot nearer the satellite

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

Using the neighbous washing saves pounds on loo role.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Digestive biscuits topped with cheese and tomato make ideal mini pizzas. Great for those kids parties!

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

If you're homeless, just buy a house

(obvious look on face)

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

"When walking upstairs, stomp on each step twice. Your neighbours will think you have twice as many steps than they have."

This is a classic

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Convince your neighbours that you work for the CIA by renaming your home WiFi to something like "CIA_Safe_House_Top_Secret"

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Easily distinguish an alligator from a crocodile by paying attention to whether the reptile sees you later or in a while.

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

Avoid speeding fines by always driving under the speed limit. You'll save a ton of cash, avoid points on your licence and be immune from prosecution.

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

When buying a new car, always take your garage door to make sure the car will fit inside.

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By *eard and TattsCouple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

SINGLE MEN: Get a glimpse of married life by taping Woman's Hour on Radio 4, then playing it back at a higher volume than the TV while trying to watch something on Discovery Wings.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"Convince your neighbours that you work for the CIA by renaming your home WiFi to something like "CIA_Safe_House_Top_Secret"

Mine is called 'Swingers HQ'

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By *idnight RamblerMan
over a year ago

Pershore

Become a self-righteous EV driver simply by adding a green strip to your reg, plate using electrical tape.

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By *oding1Man
over a year ago

marlow

Drill a hole in the fridge door to allow you to check that the light goes out when you shut it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Town councils...reduce litter problems by issuing blind people with pointy sticks.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Always swim in the sea with a friend. Your risk of being eaten by a shark drops by 50%

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stick a sheet of polystyrene to your car roof. Oncoming traffic will think there’s snow ahead.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With a selection of carefully selected and diligently fitted ropes and pulleys you can turn the taps in your upstairs bathroom on and off from the comfort of your living room sofa.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"With a selection of carefully selected and diligently fitted ropes and pulleys you can turn the taps in your upstairs bathroom on and off from the comfort of your living room sofa. "

Surely you can turn taps remotely via a phone by now?

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By *jfrenchMan
over a year ago

Stockport

"With a selection of carefully selected and diligently fitted ropes and pulleys you can turn the taps in your upstairs bathroom on and off from the comfort of your living room sofa.

Surely you can turn taps remotely via a phone by now?"

True. But the ropes method still works if you run out of credit or forget the number

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By *jfrenchMan
over a year ago

Stockport

Save money on a coffin for your funeral by ordering a new fountain pen off Amazon and simply save the box.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic. – D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

"Save time when crossing a one-way street by only looking in the direction of oncoming traffic. – D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead"

When crossing a one-way street always look in BOTH directions in case a large blue furniture removal lorry is reversing the wrong way up the road. – D. Rogers, Hemel Hempstead General Infirmary

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By *oinerbillMan
over a year ago

warrington

Fool neighbours into thinking you play the trombourne by farting into a watering can at regular intervals

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 11/04/23 11:13:58]

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

Get that expensive gravel driveway feeling by glueing rice krispies to your car's tyres

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By *olacolaMan
over a year ago

lincoln

Make your neighbour thing he is a politician by standing outside his house and when he gets into his car shouting ‘are you going to resign!?’

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

Make your neighbour think they are a celebrity by calling their name, making them turn round on the path and taking their pictures

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Make your neighbours think you are a murderer by sending your wife off to live with her mum for a few weeks, then get your mates to come round a dig holes in your garden whilst wearing paper suits and then leave with sealed polythene bags containing some of your clothing!

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

If you are a mod (not the forum variety), move to Brighton and save the scooter ride from London.

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By *icolerobbieCouple
over a year ago

walsall

Husbands,

Cheer yourself by watching your wedding video in reverse. You’ll see yourself give her back, she’ll walk up the isle, get in a posh car and fuck off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't go through all the hassle of trying to arrange a bukkake meeting...just leave the lid off your blender when mixing egg whites.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

If you’re short of attention, get a dog and call it Help.

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By *urvyBi-84Man
over a year ago

Lancs

Men. Avoid arguments with your wife about leaving the toilet seat up by simply pissing in the sink.

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By *rettyboylloydMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Is your name Steven??? Well save valuable time by calling yourself Steve.

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By *mTheMrJMan
over a year ago

Barry

"Is your name Steven??? Well save valuable time by calling yourself Steve. "

Or save more time by not calling yourself

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By *oinerbillMan
over a year ago

warrington

"Is your name Steven??? Well save valuable time by calling yourself Steve. "

or ste

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By *cottishVikingBearMan
over a year ago

N. London

Footballers: avoid having to pay for expensive trophy cabinets, medal frames and other awards by playing for Tottenham Hotspurs; you will never win anything worthy of the need to display.

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By *cottishVikingBearMan
over a year ago

N. London

Royalists: save spending money on pornography. Simply record the upcoming coronation and wank yourself stupid watching it for the next 5 years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Car drivers: fool other drivers into thinking you have automatic wipers by turning them on when it rains.

Car drivers: fool other drivers into thinking you have automatic headlights by turning them on when it gets dark

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

If you still have a battery operated clock extend the life of those batteries by only putting them in when you want to know what the time is

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By *obletonMan
over a year ago

A Home Among The Woodland Creatures

Fill an aluminium cigar tube with angry wasps to make an inexpensive vibrator

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

Save time posting by reading the thread to see what's been posted before.

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By *an de LyonMan
over a year ago

welling

Save time posting by reading the thread to see what's been posted before."

Save time posting by reading the thread to see what's been posted before.

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By *cottishVikingBearMan
over a year ago

N. London

Having trouble finding hot new meme-drink Prime?

Not to worry, you can get the same flavour/experience by drizzling a mixture of piss and cough syrup on a nettle then licking it off.

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By *isfun2023Couple
over a year ago

wakefield

These are hilarious

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By *cottishVikingBearMan
over a year ago

N. London

[Removed by poster at 16/04/23 03:26:32]

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By *cottishVikingBearMan
over a year ago

N. London

Single male fabbers: have your only profile pic be a dick pic and message every woman or couple with that most articulate of messages: "Hey, you wanna fuck?"

You will be irresistable.

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