FabSwingers.com forum: Would you apologise

By *appyhippo OP Woman
over a year ago

coventry

To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Apparently I apologise too much.

Conditioning...

So yes, apparently.

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

No.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Sorry?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

With my nearest and dearest, yes.

Not with anyone else.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I would apologise that tempers had been raised, and that the situation had escalated.

But I wouldn't apologise for something I hadn't done wrong.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

No, I wouldn't. I only apologise when I am in the wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

No I would not ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes. As in you’re wrong but I’m sorry for pointing it out.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Never apologize for something you believe in.

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Belfast

Always. I'm non confrontational that way.

Although later I would fill the air vents of their car with blended prawns. They'll never get the smell out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't back down. Double down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if I’m wrong.

Which is never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I would say I'm not going to argue about whatever, but unless I thought I had done something wrong I wouldn't apologise

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

No. I’m very stubborn and won’t be guilted into an apology.

I’ll hold my hands up if I am in the wrong though.

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

No. I'll apologise if I know I've made a mistake or caused offence. Why apologise when you've done nothing wrong

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

No if I genuinely haven't done something wrong I wouldn't apologise. .I would want to know though why someone should expect me to and to talk it through if they thought I had done something,but I wouldn't apologise just to appease someone who is throwing out false accusations not a chance.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I will apologise if I've done wrong but I'm not going to apologise just to keep the peace

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Not a chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes..

Sometimes you have to pick battles and it can be easier for them and me

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Yep. I don't like it about myself, wish I didn't. I know why I do it. Years of it.

Even if another person has hurt me, I end up apologising for being hurt. For being too me and causing them to hurt me because if I was different, they wouldn't have acted in that way. It's very rare they apologise.

So I bury my hurt, put on a brave face while I cry inside knowing that at least they're not hurting. And I value them too much so I'll take the ownership of the hurt, even if it's their actions to keep the friendship/relationship. My sadness doesn't really factor in to it, another's happiness is more important.

Move on and tell myself if I'm better, less me, it won't happen again.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I apologise for everything, existing sometimes, someone bangs into me I say sorry, it's automatic I can't help it, so yes.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always apologise, id much rather diffuse a situation than have it prolonged for a period.

Is it the best way to be - possibly not but it is the way I am

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

Absolutely not. I barely apologise now but I do try to make them feel better without doing so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No if I know I’m not in the wrong then I’d never apologise. I’d try and make peace without having to say sorry.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

It depends on the circumstances.

If I've said something I don't deem to be hurtful but someone I care for is hurt by it then although I don't consider what I've done to be wrong I will apologise that it was unclear enough to be perceived as hurtful.

In other cases an apology would feel too close to an acceptance that I'd done something wrong, so I'd probably use the weaselly "I'm sorry you feel that way" type of non-apology.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once upon a time I'd have done so, especially with my parents. I absolutely wouldn't now, though. I won't go looking for confrontation, and I won't be drawn into one by someone else. Taking a step back, whilst keeping firm boundaries, and waiting for high emotions to subside usually means the peace can be re-established without unnecessary drama.

Nell

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By *ilthyRacersCouple
over a year ago

Coventry

With family - yes, I have done and would likely do again.

On Fab probably not.

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By *ryandseeMan
over a year ago

Yorkshire

Sometimes you have to just let go if you don't want things escalating. Big egos don't do anyone any good. There are always ways to tactfully turn the heat down without necessarily having to explicitly apologise if you haven't done anything wrong

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Depends on the scenario

Typically I wouldn’t

can be stubborn sometimes lol. But sometimes I do cause my dad said: “argue with a fool & bystanders won’t know the difference”

and some apologies ain’t sincere! It’s just to shut the other person up cause u got better things to do with your time lol

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Once upon a time I'd have done so, especially with my parents. I absolutely wouldn't now, though. I won't go looking for confrontation, and I won't be drawn into one by someone else. Taking a step back, whilst keeping firm boundaries, and waiting for high emotions to subside usually means the peace can be re-established without unnecessary drama.

Nell"

I was once told "you don't have to attend every argument you're invited to" and that has really stuck with me.

Sometimes keeping a distance while emotions cool down is the best thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Isn’t that basically what a marriage is?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Yes x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nell"

Exactly, a bit of maturity and perspective works wonders

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

People often apologise for things they haven't done. Customer service people use the de-esacalating ' I'm sorry you feel this way', a police officer once said it to me when I was angry over how some yobs had thrown stones at my mum. He wasn't responsible for my anger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No way

Mrs C

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/04/23 14:27:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say "fine" and walk away

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"
I'm sorry

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

No I wouldn't as it's an illogical concept to me .

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

What is this apparent apology for exactly? In fact I probably wouldn't if I'm not in the wrong I'm not taking the blame for someone else and anyone who would expect that doesn't deserve to be in my life

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By *irtydevil666Man
over a year ago

bristol

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By *oelDorianMan
over a year ago

vanaheim

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

No I wouldn’t apologise if I don’t have a reason to

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By *om and JennieCouple
over a year ago

Chams or Socials

I used to but have stopped as I found it had a negative impact on my well being

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

Its a British thing saying sorry when you're not

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"People often apologise for things they haven't done. Customer service people use the de-esacalating ' I'm sorry you feel this way', a police officer once said it to me when I was angry over how some yobs had thrown stones at my mum. He wasn't responsible for my anger."

I do sometimes use "I'm sorry" in the same way as your police officer - not as an apology as I'm not responsible, but to say I'm sorrowful, as a statement of sympathy.

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

No, if they couldn't give me valid reason or proof of what I've supposed to have done wrong and just expect me to apologise, I wouldn't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope!! I'm too stubborn.

Nikki x

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

done nothing why apologise..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always apologise if your in the wrong, but never if you've not.

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By *ashMan
over a year ago

Westhoughton

Yes, would come back to explaination after things seemed settled..

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By *lltheboostCouple
over a year ago

Shefford

Abso-fuckin-lutley not!

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By *amierebelMan
over a year ago

nae danger.

No I'm never wrong though sometimes I'm mistaken but never wrong

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By *laytime78Man
over a year ago

Oldham

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

Have done this in the past and ended up regreting it when later down the line the person used it to prove a point...

So unfortunatly now i am much less inclined, even if i know it will help smooth an issue over

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Always apologise if your in the wrong, but never if you've not.

*you're

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Not a chance.

So many people don't apologise when they have done shit loads wrong.

If either of us needed to keep the peace, then it's a shit friendship

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

I was brought up Catholic. You learn to apologise for everything. It is ALWAYS your fault.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Nope not if I'd done nothing wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always seem to be the one apologising and I'm not always in the wrong. Would be nice to get a sorry back once in a while

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

I dislike coercive/manipulative behaviour and would find a solution, if the relationship was important, including calling out the behaviour. It's not an apology if you've done nothing wrong and thus aren't being honest by giving it, a la Boris

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By *VineMan
over a year ago

The right place

I wouldn't apologise for whatever alleged action I was accused of if I wasn't in the wrong, but I would apologise that they were hurt or upset due to a misunderstanding

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I might do, although after therapy it’s less than before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Absolutely not.

You do that even one time, they'll expect you to do it again in future. It's like pulling bricks out of a wall one after another. Until the whole wall crashes down.

So best not to start.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *ittle Miss BipolarWoman
over a year ago

Up My Own Arse Apparently

Generally no.

You don't need to jump on every grenade you encounter in life. Sometimes it's easier just to say sorry if it's no big deal.

However I have found this difficult as I've got older and feel less inclined to people please.

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By *opman121Man
over a year ago

stoke on trent

If I was in the wrong then yes , life is to short to argue

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t apologise if I believed what I was saying what correct however I might try something like “I’m sorry we couldn’t agree on this but I’d like to try and find a way to move forward”

In that regard I’m a bit of a peace maker but without compromising my beliefs or backing down from what I believe to be right

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By *issIrishCoffeeWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

No never

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

Absolutely not, it's not my responsibility to placate others feelings....

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By * kiss like morphineMan
over a year ago

The gravelly bit next to the shed

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

After 7 years with narcissists it comes as force of habit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of regret not doing this in a previous relationship. If I had we might still be together.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

North West

I used to.

Now I don't.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, if I’m not in the wrong, then nope!

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on situation, if someone makes a cock up at work and trys to blame me I stand my ground , but if I'm shagging a woman and "accidentally " slip it in her ass then I say sorry

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Often but then I’m a cowardly custard.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"No"

Actually yes I do. Thinks like if someone bumps into me I always say sorry

. Serious stuff I don’t though.

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By *ansoffateMan
over a year ago

Sagittarius A

If I was completely blameless then no.

I apologise for my part in a misunderstanding or whatever but if they can't own their part... Been there done that got the t-shirt, baseball cap, fridge magnet, novelty bottle opener.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It very much depends on the situation.

At work, with customers, sometimes it's necessary.

At home, sometimes, for the sake of harmony. I'm a big believer in not sweating the small stuff, so if it's something fairly innocuous I'd rather apologise and diffuse the tension than dig my heels in over something that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

I'd rather choose my battles wisely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do. Force of habit from my last relationship unfortunately, he was extremely volatile and it had a lasting effect.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

Sometimes yes.

Sometimes no.

e.g. The plug gets pulled on all computers in work and everyone is fooking fuming. I get the blame.

In this case I would not apologise as I didn't pull the plug and would maintain my stance.

e.g. An elderly person or a small child bumps/bangs into me and is startled by the collision.

I would say - Oh I am sorry. Are you okay ?

Even if it wasn't my error.

Most fall outs are not worth the time of analysis ..... Just make up and get on with life.

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

Simply No.

Why should you if you are not in the wrong?

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By *he AmbassadorMan
over a year ago

IRLANDA. / Prague. / Cil Dara

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"
nope,,

Ill apologise if im wrong ill go off solo in a huff rethink the situation and if im wrong ill set it right, but if im not then no way im apologising,

Probably the reason im always in the shits in work.

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By *dventurous biMan
over a year ago

tesside

I never apologise and never explain.

Sorry, that’s just how I am

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"I never apologise and never explain.

Sorry, that’s just how I am

If you are sorry - change.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I never apologise and never explain.

Sorry, that’s just how I am

I see what you did there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

No. I’m only apologetic when I know its my fault.

So I don’t know what it’s like to say sorry…

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Sorry, no.

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"Apparently I apologise too much.

Conditioning...

So yes, apparently."

You just like having to say sorry

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

I used to be that guy. you know, just apologies to make everyone happy.

But after a while, I found myself getting wound up at myself for not having a back bone. So now, If I am in the wrong, I will happily apologies but If I am not wrong, I stand my ground.

Its better for my wellbeing

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By *riel13Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

Not anymore, no

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By *akingMemoriesMan
over a year ago

Toronto

Depends on the situation, but yeah, I probably would. I won’t lose any sleep over it. Besides, if think I’ve done nothing wrong, then I probably have done something wrong

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Apparently I apologise too much.

Conditioning...

So yes, apparently.

You just like having to say sorry "

Ask forgiveness, not permission I say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it was a one off, and keeping the peace meant the wellbeing of others outside of me and the person I was apologising to, then yes.

If it was just that one person being affected, and/or if they made a pattern out of causing problems out of nothing and demanding apologies, then fuck no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

Done it loads of times tbh, not anymore , l just avoid people that bring angst and drama into my life and it is unbelievably beautiful & brilliant.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

"To keep the peace, even if you have done nothing wrong?"

I have done, it sucks

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Yes.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Its a British thing saying sorry when you're not

"
this

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I have done and will more than likely again

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By *illygirlWoman
over a year ago

Kilmarnock

Yes, always, anything to keep the peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would apologise for shit burgers

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By *bitjesusMan
over a year ago

darwen

It depends, most likely, no - unless it was like, “I’m sorry you feel that way”

If it’s a misunderstanding because of something I missed out, then probably, otherwise if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s a hill I’m dying on

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I found myself apologising for the tech recently on some calls , it wasn’t my fault but I apologised to the participants for it being so bad. Sometimes your responsibility needs to expand when other people mess us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. Why would you want to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No.

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By *odevilWoman
over a year ago

exeter

I think apologising if you don't mean it is fundamentally wrong and undermines any sincere apology.

I'll say sorry unreservedly if i genuinely am. I will make an effort to understand someone else's point of view but I'll never say sorry just to keep the peace.

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

if I do then always

if I haven;t, nah, f**k that

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

Nope

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I have done for many years in the past.

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By *appyhippo OP Woman
over a year ago

coventry

This has been an interesting read for me, there seems to be the people that flat out refuse, the people that do it and the people that will look at the situation and context.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

No.

I'm pretty sure I only ever say the word sorry when I'm taking the piss with someone that understands me.

Actual apologies from me include a statement of understanding where I went wrong and how I aim to be better in future.

If I don't understand the issue or believe I was wrong, I'm not going to make that shit up, or just say sorry for the sake of smoothing it over. I need to understand to have remorse, and I don't like to lie.

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