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 Apply Within ·—· Without Delay | |||
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"Will there be jam? " • Only if you wear Chanel™ No5. | |||
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"Will there be jam? • Only if you wear Chanel™ No5." Done  | |||
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J | |||
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"Will there be jam? • Only if you wear Chanel™ No5. Done "° Oh, and vintage cheese². | |||
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"Afternoon tea sounds delightful.
J"• Are you submitting an application?  | |||
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"I can’t keep up the pretence. I hate Chanel no5. I’ve got a bottle and only tried it once. Gave me granny vibes "• It's ok - octogenarians are welcome too! | |||
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Shall I require a hat? | |||
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"I'm applying (naturally).
Shall I require a hat?"Of course. And silk gloves. | |||
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" Gave me granny vibes " Does vintage cheese have the same effect ? | |||
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"I'm applying (naturally).
Shall I require a hat?
Of course. And silk gloves."Ah yes, forgot those  | |||
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"Afternoon tea sounds delightful.
J
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Are you submitting an application? "Calibre - exceptional Morals - I think the interview stage can discuss the difference between ethics, morals and how someone can have the highest ethical standards whilst being utterly lascivious. Application submitted. J | |||
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"Afternoon tea is one of my favourite things. However I don't fit the bill as don't have the lowest of morals. " • The onus is on you to apply; the onus is on me to assess suitability. | |||
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"I'm applying (naturally).
Shall I require a hat?"• Obviously!  | |||
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"Oh bollocks. I'm only half way there "• I'm going to require a step stool for you. For you it'll be High Tea in all its splendour!  | |||
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"Afternoon tea sounds delightful.
J
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Are you submitting an application?
Calibre - exceptional
Morals - I think the interview stage can discuss the difference between ethics, morals and how someone can have the highest ethical standards whilst being utterly lascivious.
Application submitted.
J"• Eagerly and wantonly accepted!  | |||
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"If any of you high calibre ladies can sneak me out some cake, that'd be great. " • Måggy, the tea ritual will be occurring on the Fifth Floor Bar at Harvey Nichols. 'Sneaking out' via the private elevator takes nigh on forever!  | |||
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"I'm applying (naturally).
Shall I require a hat?
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Obviously! "I somehow feel that asking whether I required a hat prejudices my application.  | |||
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"If any of you high calibre ladies can sneak me out some cake, that'd be great. • Måggy, the tea ritual will be occurring on the Fifth Floor Bar at Harvey Nichols. 'Sneaking out' via the private elevator takes nigh on forever! "I'm a patient man. | |||
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"Oh bollocks. I'm only half way there
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I'm going to require a step stool for you. For you it'll be High Tea in all its splendour! "Even though I'm mediocre calibre and have medium morals? Talk about settling for half of your dreams Nero! But I do fancy a tiny cucumber sandwich... | |||
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" Even though I'm mediocre calibre and have medium morals? " Yes, but you have magnificent bosoms! It tends to distract men from any other perceived deficiencies... | |||
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" Even though I'm mediocre calibre and have medium morals? Yes, but you have magnificent bosoms! It tends to distract men from any other perceived deficiencies... "I do have the bazookas. They're not great for avoiding knocking stuff over though. But good for catching dropped food and drink. | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream?" Cream. Obviously. | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream?" That's isn't even a question. You do it the Cornish way. The end. | |||
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so I’m going to submit my application anyway and hope for the best | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay "Will it be at Claridges? | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream? Cream. Obviously." Gasp! We're going to have a falling out!  | |||
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" Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X" You can have the bubbles if I get the lapsang... I once asked someone on here about his favourite place for tea and seduction. That he assumed I was joking made me realise how wrong I'd read the room | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream? Cream. Obviously. Gasp! We're going to have a falling out! "Only because you're wrong... | |||
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"If any of you high calibre ladies can sneak me out some cake, that'd be great. " I mean I don't have many places to sneak a cake out, but I'll try it for you.  | |||
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"I'm applying (naturally).
Shall I require a hat?
Of course. And silk gloves."• Made from Butterfly larvae which only the most competent of lepidopterist can cultivate. | |||
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"Highest calibre? No. Alas. I'm more a Sainsbury's version of Fortnum and Mason. Lowest morals? Well, that's something you'll have to rediscover dear ex-husband...." • Dear ex-wife. With you it was never calibre but Excalibur † — you were the Guinevere to my Lancelot. | |||
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"I want afternoon tea. " • Stratospheric high-flying aviatrices are eligible. | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream? Cream. Obviously. Gasp! We're going to have a falling out!
Only because you're wrong... "*Gasp* again! I'm hurt to the core! | |||
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"Does the fact that I put jam on before the cream, affect my application?" My dear, I think you'll find that only the highest calibre ladies do it that way. Sniff. | |||
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"Does the fact that I put jam on before the cream, affect my application? My dear, I think you'll find that only the highest calibre ladies do it that way. Sniff." I knew I was right. I spread the jam Dollop the cream And stuff it in I'm such a lady | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay "Not sure my moral compass is on point. | |||
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"I spread the jam Dollop the cream And stuff it in I'm such a lady "Hold on. Are we still talking about scones? | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay "I’m assuming this afternoon tea somewhere classy like the ritz or Harvey Nichols tea room If you bump in to Edina and patsy in Harvey Nichols tea room think you’re on winner there happy hump day to one and all | |||
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"Highest calibre? No. Alas. I'm more a Sainsbury's version of Fortnum and Mason. Lowest morals? Well, that's something you'll have to rediscover dear ex-husband.... • Dear ex-wife. With you it was never calibre but Excalibur † — you were the Guinevere to my Lancelot. "No. No, you're not allowed to appeal to my love of Arthurian legend with clever wordplay and romanticism. Let's do afternoon tea soon dear Nero. I could do with a London based adventure.  | |||
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"I spread the jam Dollop the cream And stuff it in I'm such a lady
Hold on. Are we still talking about scones?"...maybe? | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X" That would incur a £9 per glass surchage | |||
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"Does the fact that I put jam on before the cream, affect my application?" You've hurt my soul... | |||
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"Will there be jam? " There should Always be jam with the scores. No proviso should accompany this . I think it could be a wicked trap... | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X" • For a fragrant Southern Welsh Lass such as yourself... Champagne High Tea for² would be a most stylish affair, with all the effervescent flåir. Can you make the distance? | |||
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" Even though I'm mediocre calibre and have medium morals? Yes, but you have magnificent bosoms! It tends to distract men from any other perceived deficiencies...
I do have the bazookas.
They're not great for avoiding knocking stuff over though. But good for catching dropped food and drink."• Pøsh, those aren't bazookas. This is next level Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles!  | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream?" • Is this you submitting your application by stealth and subterfuge? | |||
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"I’ve always thought afternoon tea was a euphemism. What you actually get is sparkling wine and little cakes. Not tea at all." You are thinking of afternoon delight. And that is now my earworm for the day. J | |||
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"Will there be macarons? I'd date you Nero if you provided those "° JõeB, quite often there are Macarons (and thankfully not Macaroons because I'm not a fan of coconut). | |||
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"I don’t meet the criteria but I love tea!. I’m also hungry and can’t stop thinking about scones so I’m going to submit my application anyway and hope for the best "• We can't have you going hungry. If you're insatiable then your submittal is accepted.  | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay "As I'm neither a fine woman or of the highest calibre, can I just sit and have a coffee instead? | |||
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"You are thinking of afternoon delight. And that is now my earworm for the day. J" I wasn’t. But *now* I’m considering afternoon delight. (And I don’t mean the song, either.) | |||
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"I'm a woman" It’s true, she is. I checked. " and rose tinted has lower morals than me" Also possibly true. We’ll need an independent adjudicator though. | |||
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"Will there be pizza?" • If I have a polite word with the 'maître d'hôtel' I'm sure he can arrange for dainty and petite savoury pizza slices just for you...and me. | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay
Will it be at Claridges? "• You'll have to clear that with Måggy (Magneto). He's expecting it to be on the Fifth Floor™ at Harvey Nichols. I do, however, love Claridges. | |||
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"Oh, Nero. I'm not a woman, but I love afternoon tea - all those cute little cakes. If you're going to The Wolseley, I'm gatecrashing, no matter what..." • It seems to be flitting between Knightsbridge and Mayfair.  First it was Harvey Nichols and then Claridges and now, perhaps, The Wolseley.
Ooh, I do like The Wolse'.
YOLO: you're always invited! | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream? Cream. Obviously. Gasp! We're going to have a falling out! "• There shall be lashings of guilt-free alcoholic (and non-alcoholic) fruit Punch. But no punch ups please. | |||
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" Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X You can have the bubbles if I get the lapsang... I once asked someone on here about his favourite place for tea and seduction. That he assumed I was joking made me realise how wrong I'd read the room "· For Lapsang •tea and seduction• I always recommend The Mâd Hâtters Tea Party afternoon tea at The Sanderson Hotel, Fitzrovia. | |||
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"If any of you high calibre ladies can sneak me out some cake, that'd be great. I mean I don't have many places to sneak a cake out, but I'll try it for you. "• Sprocket, my pocket rocket, between your décollatage and your cleavage I'm sure there's sufficient real estate to pilfer a cake or ³.   | |||
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"Does the fact that I put jam on before the cream, affect my application?" • Are you applying or enquiring? | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay
Not sure my moral compass is on point. "• I'm sure that my magnetic demeanour will reset that compass of yours.  | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay
I’m assuming this afternoon tea somewhere classy like the ritz or Harvey Nichols tea room
If you bump in to Edina and patsy in Harvey Nichols tea room think you’re on winner there happy hump day to one and all "• So, so far it's Harvey Nichols, Claridges, The Wolseley and now The Ritz! Make up your mind people! | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X That would incur a £9 per glass surchage "• I order by the bottle. | |||
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"I would be terrible as I don't drink tea or coffee sorry! But if we're doing a fizz afternoon with lots of yummy cakes and treats then I'd be rather interested "• I'm happy to infuse you with fizz, administered via an IV Drip.  | |||
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"I don't drink tea but the fancy little cakes are very cute, if you dont mind drinking all of the tea I'd like to apply .•°°"• | |||
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"I graciously decline the invite Unless you slum it to a greasy spoon" •  | |||
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"I’ve always thought afternoon tea was a euphemism. What you actually get is sparkling wine and little cakes. Not tea at all." • I think some of the gentlemen of the fora should get together over afternoon tea...and make amends with the Fab Omniverse. Perhaps even burn a few ears of the forumite-womenfolk. | |||
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"I graciously decline the invite Unless you slum it to a greasy spoon • "Oh dear. How about i buy you a Mr Whippy 99 | |||
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"I adore tea at Claridges if that’s where your thinking, then I’m in " • Who am I to turn down a feral blonde from the south-west peninsula? Claridges it shall be. X | |||
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"I’ll take the tea & finger (sandwiches). But you can keep the sweet treats though." ° How many fingers can you accommodate, MístyPèaks? It may affect your app-clitcation. | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X • For a fragrant Southern Welsh Lass such as yourself... Champagne High Tea for² would be a most stylish affair, with all the effervescent flåir. Can you make the distance?" Well yes I can make the distance. It shall be a charming city break, combined with shopping, cafes, maybe a museum and other touristy affairs | |||
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"I’ll take the tea & finger (sandwiches). But you can keep the sweet treats though. ° How many fingers can you accommodate, MístyPèaks? It may affect your app-clitcation." That all depends on my appetite | |||
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"I mean I have the low morals.... "• Low morals = High Tea. X | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay
As I'm neither a fine woman or of the highest calibre, can I just sit and have a coffee instead?"• Everyone is welcome. | |||
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"I'll come.... I'm a woman and rose tinted has lower morals than me so that must be acceptable. Can I go for an Easter themed afternoon tea instead though? "• Bøø, they're doing Afternoon Tea at Luton Airport. Would that be sufficiently posh for you? | |||
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"Will there be fizz? All the best afternoon teas have fizz!" • Only if we go Dutch. | |||
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"Love a good afternoon tea "• I shall be suitably attired in the Norfolk Regiment militaria regalia. | |||
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"What type of cake will there be? And will the sandwiches be squares or triangles?" • The sandwiches will be posh and artisanal, presented in an assortment of shapes, sizes and stamina. Cake: TBC. | |||
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"Sips the Champas" • I shall hand you a straw, fine sir! | |||
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"Is this a bit of ••afternoon delight••. With tea. "• I have only just discovered the true meaning of that term! | |||
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"Is this a bit of ••afternoon delight••. With tea.
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I have only just discovered the true meaning of that term! "Does this mean you haven't seen the film Anchorman?! J | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X • For a fragrant Southern Welsh Lass such as yourself... Champagne High Tea for² would be a most stylish affair, with all the effervescent flåir. Can you make the distance? Well yes I can make the distance. It shall be a charming city break, combined with shopping, cafes, maybe a museum and other touristy affairs "• Those "affairs" that you speak of...are they interludes of a 'romantique' nature? | |||
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"Is there a deadline for applications? Am I too late to submit mine? X "• The most sublime are rarely on time. You have time. Aççepted! | |||
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"Is this a bit of ••afternoon delight••. With tea.
•
I have only just discovered the true meaning of that term!
Does this mean you haven't seen the film Anchorman?!
J"Stay classy San Diego | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay "Afternoon tea is almost my favourite thing.. | |||
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"Is this a bit of ••afternoon delight••. With tea.
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I have only just discovered the true meaning of that term!
Does this mean you haven't seen the film Anchorman?!
J
Stay classy San Diego "And thanks for stopping by. | |||
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"May we see the menu first please? Is this afternoon tea you speak of verified? Not being funny but we are naturally suspicious of afternoon tea that we don't know that just pops up on the Internet. We don't want to get all excited, exchange days worth of messages and travel half way across the country to find out said afternoon tea is actually just a microwave burger and tin of red bull." • The High Tea menu will be available once the venue is confirmed. Rest assured it will be somewhere refined, urbane and salubrious. Pierre's Le Van du Burger is out of scope. | |||
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"Application submitted "° Thank you, Le Petit Oiseau.  | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X • For a fragrant Southern Welsh Lass such as yourself... Champagne High Tea for² would be a most stylish affair, with all the effervescent flåir. Can you make the distance? Well yes I can make the distance. It shall be a charming city break, combined with shopping, cafes, maybe a museum and other touristy affairs
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Those "affairs" that you speak of...are they interludes of a 'romantique' nature? "These affairs have a certain anticipation of mystery and adventure...what is life without romance? | |||
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"Am I too late for tea?" • Cometh the hour, my flower, you will be on time for tea. | |||
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"I hope there will be dainty cucumber sandwiches and almond petit fours." You want him on all fours | |||
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"Is this a bit of ••afternoon delight••. With tea.
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I have only just discovered the true meaning of that term!
Does this mean you haven't seen the film Anchorman?!
J"• I've pre-booked a private viewing with a Long Island Iced Afternoon Tea.  ² | |||
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"A cordial invitation offered to a fine wømån of the highest calibre but lowest morals.
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Apply Within ·—· Without Delay
Afternoon tea is •almost• my favourite thing.. "° "almost" ??!!  | |||
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"Is this a bit of ••afternoon delight••. With tea.
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I have only just discovered the true meaning of that term!
Does this mean you haven't seen the film Anchorman?!
J
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I've pre-booked a private viewing with a Long Island Iced Afternoon Tea.²"Excellent, with it being a private screening you can take me to Pleasure Town (that will make sense once we've watched it)
J | |||
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"Due to my height, my morals are always going to be low. But the only thing of any calibre about me is my lingerie. " • They serve The Brassiere at The Brasserie afternoon tea at Rigby & Peller™. | |||
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"I do love an afternoon tea. Can we upgrade to have champagne instead of tea? X • For a fragrant Southern Welsh Lass such as yourself... Champagne High Tea for² would be a most stylish affair, with all the effervescent flåir. Can you make the distance? Well yes I can make the distance. It shall be a charming city break, combined with shopping, cafes, maybe a museum and other touristy affairs
•
Those "affairs" that you speak of...are they interludes of a 'romantique' nature?
These affairs have a certain anticipation of mystery and adventure...what is life without romance?
"• I've made a note of this in my Fine English Tearooms monogrammed notebook. | |||
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"I hope there will be dainty cucumber sandwiches and almond petit fours." • It can be arranged! | |||
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"Due to my height, my morals are always going to be low. But the only thing of any calibre about me is my lingerie. • They serve The Brassiere at The Brasserie afternoon tea at Rigby & Peller™. "Ohhh. I only have two sets of Rigby & Peller. If afternoon tea includes shopping for my third set, I hereby submit my application. | |||
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"Surely the real question should be what goes on the scone first , jam or cream?" A thick layer of proper salted butter. | |||
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"Great idea. Though on this occasion I don't match your criteria..." · | |||
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"May we see the menu first please? Is this afternoon tea you speak of verified? Not being funny but we are naturally suspicious of afternoon tea that we don't know that just pops up on the Internet. We don't want to get all excited, exchange days worth of messages and travel half way across the country to find out said afternoon tea is actually just a microwave burger and tin of red bull. • The High Tea menu will be available once the venue is confirmed. Rest assured it will be somewhere refined, urbane and salubrious. Pierre's Le Van du Burger is out of scope." Yes, yes all very good to know but what we want to know is will it include exquisite pork pie, scotch egg and a thoughtfully selected chutney? Can be as refined, urbane and salubrious as you like but it isn't anything without the right savouries prepared with a little touch of magic. (Also we're not opposed to a lovely ale selected to complement the food and pair up with nicely with our pot of tea) | |||
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"They want "ale" ^ with their "little touch of magic" afternoon tea. I think I need to lie down. "Good heavens! What would the neighbours think? | |||
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"Love a good afternoon tea
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I shall be suitably attired in the Norfolk Regiment militaria regalia. " nice to see a man that reads a profile | |||
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