FabSwingers.com forum: My Penis

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Bring it to me to use as I see fit.

You'll need to stay attached

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Use it as a hammer to hang pics of it in your downstairs loo

Plug leaking pipes with it

Use it in the garden to play hoopla with your friends

Hang your keys on it

Use it to stir cake mix

Dig up the flower beds with it

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Door stop.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bring it to me to use as I see fit.

You'll need to stay attached "

Oh .... straight out of the gate?

She shoots, she scores.

Or is that she scores, she shoots?

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Use it as a propeller and willycopter yourself to NotSoPosh and she can then decide what to do with it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Door stop.

I'd be afraid of splinters!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bottle opener

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

Use it as a dibber when planting in the garden.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

You could draw a face on it stick some googly eyes on it a wig, some clothes maybe a vest top or some dungarees.

Then Start a YouTube channel for it.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Bring it to me to use as I see fit.

You'll need to stay attached

Oh .... straight out of the gate?

She shoots, she scores.

Or is that she scores, she shoots?"

I was hoping I score, you shoot, but, y'know... whatevs

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use it as a hammer to hang pics of it in your downstairs loo

Plug leaking pipes with it

Use it in the garden to play hoopla with your friends

Hang your keys on it

Use it to stir cake mix

Dig up the flower beds with it

1. It would need to be quite hard for that. Could you help?

2. Who's pipe?

3. Friends? That could be a struggle (channeling my inner Wonko)

4. At least I wouldn't keep losing them ... Good call.

5. Getting down and dirty?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use it as a hammer to hang pics of it in your downstairs loo

Plug leaking pipes with it

Use it in the garden to play hoopla with your friends

Hang your keys on it

Use it to stir cake mix

Dig up the flower beds with it

1. It would need to be quite hard for that. Could you help?

2. Who's pipe?

3. Friends? That could be a struggle (channeling my inner Wonko)

4. At least I wouldn't keep losing them ... Good call.

5. Getting down and dirty? "

4.5 ... cream cakes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

Then use it to measure other penises!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Use it as a hammer to hang pics of it in your downstairs loo

Plug leaking pipes with it

Use it in the garden to play hoopla with your friends

Hang your keys on it

Use it to stir cake mix

Dig up the flower beds with it

1. It would need to be quite hard for that. Could you help?

2. Who's pipe?

3. Friends? That could be a struggle (channeling my inner Wonko)

4. At least I wouldn't keep losing them ... Good call.

5. Getting down and dirty?

4.5 ... cream cakes?"

Ooh

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By *ts the taking part thatMan
over a year ago

southampton

Hole maker at the doughnut bakery.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use it as a propeller and willycopter yourself to NotSoPosh and she can then decide what to do with it "

Might need a hand start!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

From what I've seen when I've seen these drag artists on TV they some how make it dispear . they may be stick up their arse I don't know I hope This helps .alternatively these men who have small cocks

And are seeking a transplanted estention you could become a cock donor . other that I'd keep it you never know when it might come in handy .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Use it as a dibber when planting in the garden. "

Could work... most seedlings don't need planting too deep do they?

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

You can call it

Jennie TV's TV remote

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"From what I've seen when I've seen these drag artists on TV they some how make it dispear . they may be stick up their arse I don't know I hope This helps .alternatively these men who have small cocks

And are seeking a transplanted estention you could become a cock donor . other that I'd keep it you never know when it might come in handy ."

I could stick it up your arse?

We all know you are secretly curious!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

And are seeking a transplanted

estention you could become a cock

donor . other that I'd keep it you

never know when it might come in

handy .

I could stick it up your arse?

We all know you are secretly

curious!

Hell will freezer over

I'm not curious in the slightest

See I try give a friend with helpful surgestion .

And you come back with crude innuendo . I know how you lust

after me .

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

A scarf for your knee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got one good ear that needs plugging at night to drown out noise

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I have that thing. You know, kuchisabishii? Where I'm not hungry but my mouth is lonely.

Maybe it could help me rectify that?

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! "
If a boat is sinking you can plug the hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have it stick out and use it as a thermometer

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! "
a cork for a bottle of plonk

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! "
a sausage vol-au-vent

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! "
a baton for Andre Rui

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! a baton for Andre Rui

This is a good idea ... fame and fortune at last!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Bottle opener

Might need some practice ... and potential for lacerations!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You could draw a face on it stick some googly eyes on it a wig, some clothes maybe a vest top or some dungarees.

Then Start a YouTube channel for it."

But what to call the channel?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Hosepipe! You can circumvent any bans that the pesky water board might impose too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

Then use it to measure other penises!!"

I see some potential

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hole maker at the doughnut bakery. "

I shall start sending out applications!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Hosepipe! You can circumvent any bans that the pesky water board might impose too

For small scale gardens?

I pity the poor gnomes though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! a sausage vol-au-vent

Feeling peckish?

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! "

You could hang cutlery from it. You’ll always have a spoon for the custard….

Or maybe hang make up from it in some sort of bizarre Superdrug rotisserie.

Or you could turn it into a puppet for stag party shows.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

And are seeking a transplanted

estention you could become a cock

donor . other that I'd keep it you

never know when it might come in

handy .

I could stick it up your arse?

We all know you are secretly

curious!

Hell will freezer over

I'm not curious in the slightest

See I try give a friend with helpful surgestion .

And you come back with crude innuendo . I know how you lust

after me .

Playing hard to get?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Hosepipe! You can circumvent any bans that the pesky water board might impose too

For small scale gardens?

I pity the poor gnomes though"

What about watering the gardens around Hornby train sets?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

You could hang cutlery from it. You’ll always have a spoon for the custard….

Or maybe hang make up from it in some sort of bizarre Superdrug rotisserie.

Or you could turn it into a puppet for stag party shows.

Number 3 definitely.

You up for a dress rehearsal?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have that thing. You know, kuchisabishii? Where I'm not hungry but my mouth is lonely.

Maybe it could help me rectify that?"

Yes please

*in a squeaky only slightly intimidated voice*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A scarf for your knee."

Or yours?

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

You could hang cutlery from it. You’ll always have a spoon for the custard….

Or maybe hang make up from it in some sort of bizarre Superdrug rotisserie.

Or you could turn it into a puppet for stag party shows.

Number 3 definitely.

You up for a dress rehearsal?

Which characters will you pick?!

There’s the traditional Punch and Judy. Or maybe something modern like the matrix

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've got one good ear that needs plugging at night to drown out noise

See ... one advantage of a TV in your bedroom!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

You could hang cutlery from it. You’ll always have a spoon for the custard….

Or maybe hang make up from it in some sort of bizarre Superdrug rotisserie.

Or you could turn it into a puppet for stag party shows.

Number 3 definitely.

You up for a dress rehearsal?

Which characters will you pick?!

There’s the traditional Punch and Judy. Or maybe something modern like the matrix"

Maybe a contemporary reimagining of Wee Willy Winkie?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

You can call it

Jennie TV's TV remote "

See. That's marketing. Right there peoples! A masterclass in branding

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

You can call it

Jennie TV's TV remote "

But then how will Jennie TV measure her own penis?!

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! "

Can I just sit on it?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Genius idea.

Stick a battery in it.

Paint it black and stick some buttons on it.hey presto a TV remote

I'm a fucking genius

You can call it

Jennie TV's TV remote

But then how will Jennie TV measure her own penis?!"

She won't need to.

Hers will be 1.

All others will be measured and expressed as a number relative to that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

Can I just sit on it?

Coffee, spat

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

Can I just sit on it?

Coffee, spat"

I thought you didn’t spit?

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! a baton for Andre Rui

This is a good idea ... fame and fortune at last!"
obviously you'd have to be hard while he's waving your baton

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guess my idea isn't good enough

Oh well

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"I have that thing. You know, kuchisabishii? Where I'm not hungry but my mouth is lonely.

Maybe it could help me rectify that?

Yes please

*in a squeaky only slightly intimidated voice*"

Don't be intimidated. I can be nice sometimes*

*Only applicable at times when I have a penis in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

Can I just sit on it?

Coffee, spat

I thought you didn’t spit?

"
*gulp*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Guess my idea isn't good enough

Oh well"

Soz Horn Crumpet,

Struggling to keep up!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! a baton for Andre Rui

This is a good idea ... fame and fortune at last!obviously you'd have to be hard while he's waving your baton

Might need a fluffer.

Can you help?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have that thing. You know, kuchisabishii? Where I'm not hungry but my mouth is lonely.

Maybe it could help me rectify that?

Yes please

*in a squeaky only slightly intimidated voice*

Don't be intimidated. I can be nice sometimes*

*Only applicable at times when I have a penis in my mouth

Well this thread is going better than I expected!

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By *ooking4othersMan
over a year ago

Here ...

You could lend it out as a bingo dabber ... it would get regular action on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturday nights

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You could lend it out as a bingo dabber ... it would get regular action on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturday nights

Yes. I think it could work

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow!

Can I just sit on it?

Coffee, spat

I thought you didn’t spit?

You're confusing her with Molly Swallows.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?"

You beautiful genius

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?

You beautiful genius"

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Get half a dozen piercings down the length of it and use it as a lawn sprinkler.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?

You beautiful genius

Let's test this idea .... purely for feasibility

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get half a dozen piercings down the length of it and use it as a lawn sprinkler. "

Ouch

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I've got a relatively unused one, we could practice fencing?

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?

You beautiful genius

Let's test this idea .... purely for feasibility "

Only in the interest of science!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

... it would be a very short fence, though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"... it would be a very short fence, though.

En Garde!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis! "

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun..."

Security!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!"

Sulk

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?

You beautiful genius

Let's test this idea .... purely for feasibility

Only in the interest of science!"

Of course.

Now shhhhhh... bend over

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

Just checking OP. Are you ready for me yet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

Risk of a mixed profile though

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"...is woefully under utilised in the capacity for which it evolved. Please suggest alternative uses I can put it to.

It has to earn its keep somehow! a baton for Andre Rui

This is a good idea ... fame and fortune at last!obviously you'd have to be hard while he's waving your baton

Might need a fluffer.

Can you help?"
lol I'll bring a feather

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just checking OP. Are you ready for me yet?

Just taking a quick bath.

Will be right as ninepence soon

The key is under the mat!

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

Risk of a mixed profile though"

Naaah, just sterilise it in alcohol between uses. And you could encase it in cling wrap while in use.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

Risk of a mixed profile though

Naaah, just sterilise it in alcohol between uses. And you could encase it in cling wrap while in use. "

There’s a word for that… condom

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Just checking OP. Are you ready for me yet?

Just taking a quick bath.

Will be right as ninepence soon

The key is under the mat!"

Keep the water warm for me please. I’ll pop in with you

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

Risk of a mixed profile though

Naaah, just sterilise it in alcohol between uses. And you could encase it in cling wrap while in use. "

... this has the added benefit of keeping it fresh for LittleBird.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

Risk of a mixed profile though

Naaah, just sterilise it in alcohol between uses. And you could encase it in cling wrap while in use.

There’s a word for that… condom

Oh sure, point out the obvious that some of us missed.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Get a Prince Albert and you can stand on the docks and offer it to sailors to tie their dinghie up.

You and your obsession with sticking holes in my penis!

I do appear to be coming across like that, don't I?

I'll get the staple gun...

Security!

Sulk

Ooh! Ooh! You can offer it as a reusable mouth swab for DNA tests.

Risk of a mixed profile though

Naaah, just sterilise it in alcohol between uses. And you could encase it in cling wrap while in use.

... this has the added benefit of keeping it fresh for LittleBird.

'S ok.

I have popped it in the fridge

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too."

Wounded.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded."

Soz but as your profile is not identifying as a straight single man who can't accommodate, I was concerned the offer wasn't real!

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By *issYeuxBleusWoman
over a year ago

My boudoir - S Wales

You could use it as a steak hammer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A drink stirrer for a sex on the beach cocktail

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded.

Soz but as your profile is not identifying as a straight single man who can't accommodate, I was concerned the offer wasn't real! "

It's like can't accommodate and 350 miles away just isn't enough for you.

Godamnit Jennie. How dare you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded.

Soz but as your profile is not identifying as a straight single man who can't accommodate, I was concerned the offer wasn't real!

It's like can't accommodate and 350 miles away just isn't enough for you.

Godamnit Jennie. How dare you."

Calm down Dave

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

"A scarf for your knee.

Or yours?

If you can get the dog off them, be my guest

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded."

To be fair its hard to beat

Adrie rue baton

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A scarf for your knee.

Or yours?

If you can get the dog off them, be my guest

I could smear it with Bovril and use it as a dog lure?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

A party favour! We could blow in your bum to unfurl it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded.

Soz but as your profile is not identifying as a straight single man who can't accommodate, I was concerned the offer wasn't real!

It's like can't accommodate and 350 miles away just isn't enough for you.

Godamnit Jennie. How dare you.

Calm down Dave"

Dave?!

It's Daddy to you, Princess.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded.

To be fair its hard to beat

Adrie rue baton "

Hello my anal depth gauge volunteer (heart)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"A party favour! We could blow in your bum to unfurl it.

Hellooo

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"This might seem obvious?

Anal Depth Gauge?

You beautiful genius

Let's test this idea .... purely for feasibility

Only in the interest of science!

Of course.

Now shhhhhh... bend over"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So far, Andrew Rieu's baton or Anal Depth gauge are fron runners.

Stag Party Puppet is a strong contender too.

Wounded.

Soz but as your profile is not identifying as a straight single man who can't accommodate, I was concerned the offer wasn't real!

It's like can't accommodate and 350 miles away just isn't enough for you.

Godamnit Jennie. How dare you.

Calm down Dave

Dave?!

It's Daddy to you, Princess."

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Calm down Dave

Dave?!

It's Daddy to you, Princess.

Oh.

I expected a better gag reflex control.

I suppose I can chisel some of the cheese off first if you're that delicate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue ."

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Calm down Dave

Dave?!

It's Daddy to you, Princess.

Oh.

I expected a better gag reflex control.

I suppose I can chisel some of the cheese off first if you're that delicate

I am a delicate laydee.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in

offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later"

I've got beard and I'm not shaveing

My legs for no one.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later"

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake."

And cock

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock"

You can keep both you never tempt me .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock

You can keep both you never tempt me ."

You are made of Stone, man.

(At least I reckon part of you is

)

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock

You can keep both you never tempt me ."

Come onnnn... I promise you'll like it, or at least, we will.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a

short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock

You can keep both you never tempt me .

Come onnnn... I promise you'll like it, or at least, we will.

It would appear dyslexia catching .

I will not. John you or tom dick and harry you . its bad enough have to fight off one TV .

But to the op thread

A further surgestion

Use it for directing traffic

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a

short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock

You can keep both you never tempt me .

Come onnnn... I promise you'll like it, or at least, we will.

It would appear dyslexia catching .

I will not. John you or tom dick and harry you . its bad enough have to fight off one TV .

But to the op thread

A further surgestion

Use it for directing traffic

You mean for stopping traffic

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a

short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock

You can keep both you never tempt me .

Come onnnn... I promise you'll like it, or at least, we will.

It would appear dyslexia catching .

I will not. John you or tom dick and harry you . its bad enough have to fight off one TV .

But to the op thread

A further surgestion

Use it for directing traffic

You mean for stopping traffic

Only if its showing Red at the end

We see what happen when little birds finished

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

"Anyway I wish to make a complaint

Your not the only one here with an

Underuterlised cock . its bad enough wonko's new found popularity and him posting genius thread . we got. You a clapped out

TV you say tired . on promise from

Little bird or going off to find fame and fortune adrie rue .

Babes.

Put on some heels, lippy and a bit of leopard print.

You'll be up to your eyeballs in offers. And up to your nuts in guts a

short time later

She's not wrong about the offers!

John us on the dark side - we have cake.

And cock

You can keep both you never tempt me .

Come onnnn... I promise you'll like it, or at least, we will.

It would appear dyslexia catching .

I will not. John you or tom dick and harry you . its bad enough have to fight off one TV .

But to the op thread

A further surgestion

Use it for directing traffic

You mean for stopping traffic

Only if its showing Red at the end

We see what happen when little birds finished "

Interesting, because she's red at the end and can stop traffic too.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I have missed sooooo much in this thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have missed sooooo much in this thread

Probably for the best

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