FabSwingers.com forum: If you knew someone.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

No. If I wanted to get to know someone I would make contact.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No. I'd still contact them

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By *rancois Du BoisMan
over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

If they’re looking then I assume they’re open to new playmates.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I like my partners to have their own lives and distractions. I find that far preferable to being someone's main focus

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Yes! Long and short of it I would compare and think that I wouldn't bring anything extra to the table so my enjoyment wouldn't be there

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

Yes, because there would be no point...

For a start they'd likely be 100+ miles away, and second I can't imagine someone with plenty of playmates or admirers already would want me.

I'd tell them I thought they were attractive if the subject came up though.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"Yes! Long and short of it I would compare and think that I wouldn't bring anything extra to the table so my enjoyment wouldn't be there

And that.

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

I would still contact them if I was interested in them, having other partners wouldn’t bother me as that’s their business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "
No because you don't know until you ask.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"Yes! Long and short of it I would compare and think that I wouldn't bring anything extra to the table so my enjoyment wouldn't be there

I should add if they messaged I would obviously say I thought they were hot etc - I just wouldn't put myself out there first

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I chat safe in the knowledge that they likely don’t fancy me, therefore if by some miracle they do fancy, well more likely tolerate me, then woo hoo.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many partners they have isn’t my concern . Would still contact them . Shy kid gets no sweets

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By *B69Woman
over a year ago

Wiltshire

It would depend on how discreet they were and how they came across.

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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago

London

We are terrified of rejection and don't contact anyone just in case

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Lots of playmates?

Yes because I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who uses that term.

Being slightly more serious. Possibly. It really depends on the person, if I think something could happen there.

Plenty of admirers, no not necessarily. I have a person in my life who gets a fair bit of attention from forum users. But so do I. It's never really changed how I view him or vice versa - our relationship is separate from fab.

Op, would you be put off/ not contact someone who had "plenty of admirers/playmates"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes you just have to tell yourself " Fuck it." What do I have to lose.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

It wouldn't bother me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah I will definitely keep in touch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

silly insecurities stop me from wanting to contact anyone and even more if they have a lot of people already interested in them because I think why would they be interested in me when they have so many other people who’d jump at the chance. I usually just wait and see if they show any interest in me first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

#forthegangbang

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

Yes and yes

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By *ames250122Man
over a year ago

Worcester

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

No not at all, you’ll never know unless you try xxx

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

Yes it would, as much as it sounds odd, I don’t compete. And in my personal experience, when someone has a lot of admirers, I’ll take a step back.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Yes! Long and short of it I would compare and think that I wouldn't bring anything extra to the table so my enjoyment wouldn't be there

Oh dear. It's a hard life swinging if you are going to compare yourself other people's sexuality.

From my perspective, everyone is unique and so am I.

Like I'm not bi but I don't mind women watching me with their male partner. Some women don't want to watch. Some women want a foursome or group sex. Some women are legends at sucking cock. My jaw and my gag reflex is too sensitive to be deep-throating for 20-30 minutes. But I applaud all the women who can do that. Better them than me.

It could be something as simple as he likes that you wear a different perfume from all the other 100 women.

But maybe that's just me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it wouldn't put me off. People like variety, we are all unique and all different. I would be quite concerned if I thought people were put off messaging me because of my friends or r who I've met etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

What if I met someone that looks like you and her veri is descriptive of the meet?

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

In my former Fab single days I was never put off. The majority of my non-club meets were with people who used the forums regularly and much like today, plenty of them had many an online and real life friend as well as the usual forum admirers.

I've never made a decision on who to contact or meet based on anything other than interest and attraction on my part. And I suspect what attracted me to them would have likely done the same to many other people.

And you never know who'll be interested in meeting you until you broach the subject.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Difficult to answer.

If they are popular how are they going to make time for you?

Plus if you have already exchanged a few messages with them and nothing comes of it I'd say you were friendzoned and best leave it alone.

Also how can you tell if someone is popular if verifications are unavailable?

Fascinating

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If the plenty of playmates were nothing like me, yes it would put me off

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I like my partners to have their own lives and distractions. I find that far preferable to being someone's main focus

Yeah I am self-aware enough to know that I can't be all things to one person.

I've got flat feet so I'm never going to be with an enthusiastic runner

I suffer with fatigue and anxiety/panic attacks so I'm never going to be with an adrenaline junkie.

I'm clinically straight so I'm not for the unicorn crowd.

So if a meet wants to go for a 26 mile run/cycle/swim and do some outdoor play on top, he's better off going with a different woman from me!

I'm more of a nudist beach/nudist spa person. I love lying on my back...or front...or side...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sometimes you just have to tell yourself " Fuck it." What do I have to lose. "

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

Admirers? No. Because they can’t necessarily help that.

I’m sure there is a magic number of other lovers/fb that would be off putting…. But I’m not sure what that is x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It might put me off a bit. I'm not bothered if someone has had lots of partners, more if they currently have lots of partners. It would just mean they could potentially have very little free time for a new one.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It woundn't put me off, as I'm me and would bring something different to the others...

If I don't ask the question then the answers always no....

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

As we tend to approach people in clubs we have no idea how "popular" they are so it's never a consideration.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "
no, but I would doubt myself and think I'm not good enough. I'm not saying this for sympathy, I just have low self-esteem. But I'm working on it

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

"As we tend to approach people in clubs we have no idea how "popular" they are so it's never a consideration. "

....and if we did know,it wouldn't stop us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I would be wondering why on earth they would want me if they had other 'options'

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off. "

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I would be wondering why on earth they would want me if they had other 'options' "
exactly this, like I just said, it's my self esteem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't see me ever having that issue

The people I like have people already so I'm surplus to requirements

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

Let's compare thigh tattoos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

This . I agree with all of it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I chatted with someone who wanted VWE in her profile and she also told me she wanted 9 inch + meets. Okay fair enough.. so I told her I was not the man for her and she was like wait wait wait! I like you.

Fuck it I didn't feel I had anything to offer her.

On another note do many women know how long nine inches is on a ruler??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

What if I met someone that looks like you and her veri is descriptive of the meet? "

If I was interested in getting to know you better and I thought the feelings were mutual, I’d contact you. Like I said in my op

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

Yes definitely, I stay in my lane

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I chat safe in the knowledge that they likely don’t fancy me, therefore if by some miracle they do fancy, well more likely tolerate me, then woo hoo.

I volunteer at Tribute.. To tolerate your abs...and your bum...

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Wouldn't put me off I've chatted with few in my time on here whom arrange house parties was asked if id like to tag along as an invitation

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lots of playmates?

Yes because I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who uses that term.

Being slightly more serious. Possibly. It really depends on the person, if I think something could happen there.

Op, would you be put off/ not contact someone who had "plenty of admirers/playmates"?"

Define lots of playmates?

I would assume more than two. But don't people generalise and even if you had two. More than one they'd teem it as lots of playmates?

What term would you use instead of playmates? Even that in itself is a term open to interpretation. And does it actually matter what term people use? If they are having sex with more than one playmate/fb/FWB and so on its still more than one person they are having sex with. So the same question would still apply. Would it put you off.

Me... No. If I liked them and they like me then what they do is up to them. And vice versa.

If someone claimed I was the only one when I clearly wasn't then I'd have a problem with them but that's because they'd clearly be a liar and not someone to trust. I'd not go there.

I'm actually struggling with why admirers would even be part of an excuse to not contact someone. Hence the question.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"How many partners they have isn’t my concern . Would still contact them . Shy kid gets no sweets

True. is that a popular Aberdonian/Glaswegian saying?

I'll go with "don't ask, don't get"

Men please do not ask for a play 15 minutes before the club or party or event is due to finish. Lol! Please ask an hour before it's time to go home.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No it wouldn't put me off. People like variety, we are all unique and all different. I would be quite concerned if I thought people were put off messaging me because of my friends or r who I've met etc."

I'm the same on this.

Everyone is different, and every pairing is different. You get different things from different people. It doesn't for one second mean anyone is better than another. Or you don't compare. People shouldn't compare themselves to others at all.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Sometimes you just have to tell yourself " Fuck it." What do I have to lose. "

That's the spirit....is that the American Spirit..British spirit only comes out in war time or pandemics. Lol! I'm joking people...I'm half British and have an American sibling....I can't choose sides.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

I wouldnt contact them, As I would presume they would have enough interest already.

However if we met at an event and there was enough interest between us. Then I would then contact them.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

Let's compare thigh tattoos

Not until I get my other one to make it a fairer fight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

Let's compare thigh tattoos

Not until I get my other one to make it a fairer fight

I have 4 thigh tattos

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

Playmates or FB or FWB or god knows what else to list?

Why would you want to know?

Admirers.. How do you even know the answer to that?

And how would anyone else???

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

Let's compare thigh tattoos

Not until I get my other one to make it a fairer fight

I have 4 thigh tattos "

Then you'll be waiting a while then

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

Oooh giggedy giggedy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

Playmates or FB or FWB or god knows what else to list?

Why would you want to know?

Admirers.. How do you even know the answer to that?

And how would anyone else??? "

Captain obvious here. I think their tryna fuck

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By *illan-KillashMan
over a year ago

London/Sussex/Surrey/Berks/Hants

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

Depends.

If their admirers were all of a certain "type" and I was the exact opposite I wouldn't see the point.

If they were all similar to me I think it worthwhile reaching out.

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By *lexanderSupertrampMan
over a year ago

Gourock

I think it's always worth taking a chance, you never know when you are just going to click with someone.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

I definitely do not click on potential meets verification profiles. Why would I want to do that to my already f'ed up brain...nope nope.

The BPD toddler in my brain does not need extra ammunition to push all my buttons.

For context as a single woman on Fab in London, I have a fair amount of "admirers". I like them all for different reasons and because everyone in London lives such busy lives they and I are not always available all of the time. Londoners and I live with massive schedule clashes.

I do not like the idea of beholding someone to my time or their time. That's a commitment for life partners, close friends and dependents.

I encourage my "playmates" put those commitments first as I often have to do the same mainly for my health.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

Genuine surprise.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

Playmates or FB or FWB or god knows what else to list? Craig's list

Why would you want to know? Knowledge is power as they say

Admirers.. How do you even know the answer to that?

Stick around the forums, im sure you'll see

And how would anyone else??? Again stick around the forums "

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

No it wouldn’t and hasn’t put me off. I don’t compare myself to anyone else and I’m sure the people I see don’t compare me to others they may meet

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Yes it would, as much as it sounds odd, I don’t compete. And in my personal experience, when someone has a lot of admirers, I’ll take a step back. "

For the record none of my previous meets are Trekkies, so there we could binge, bond and special interest focus over that. Lol!

I used to discount myself a lot.....I'm over that particular mind fuck.( plenty of other fucks to give like sciatica. Lol!) No plans on going back to that particular mind fuck either.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Lots of playmates?

Yes because I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who uses that term.

Being slightly more serious. Possibly. It really depends on the person, if I think something could happen there.

Op, would you be put off/ not contact someone who had "plenty of admirers/playmates"?

Define lots of playmates?

I would assume more than two. But don't people generalise and even if you had two. More than one they'd teem it as lots of playmates?

Me... No. If I liked them and they like me then what they do is up to them. And vice versa.

If someone claimed I was the only one when I clearly wasn't then I'd have a problem with them but that's because they'd clearly be a liar and not someone to trust. I'd not go there.

I'm actually struggling with why admirers would even be part of an excuse to not contact someone. Hence the question. "

Oh good, something to sink my teeth into when I'm high on painkillers.

I genuinely rather like this.

So let's see. If they have lots of FBs is it different from a few fwbs? Of course it is to me. I don't really care too much for labels, my dynamics are nuanced and not easily explained away. That being said, I'm not really looking for fuckbuddies. If someone has lots of them, it's not really compatible in terms of... that's not what I want.

I think people invest different amounts into people in terms of headspace, emotionally etc. In poly terms we say someone can be polysaturated. While I'm not actively looking for new people in that dynamic, I'm demisexual. If someone doesn't have that time to build a friendship, I don't feel that sexual attraction. I can think they're nice to look at but nothing more, no tears running down my thighs at the thought of them.

I can understand why admirers may put people off - people don't want to compete for attention. People are human and compare each other. It's easy to say "don't" but I'm not going to hold it against those who do. You can really, really easily spot in the forums who has admirers. It's not hard to work out.

I don't compare myself to people on the forums who those I'm in a relationship (I'm using it to describe any dynamic, with love or without) with are interested in.

We're all incredibly different, bring different things to the table.

Take you and I. We're rather apple and cheese aren't we? But we both have qualities, features that others will find attractive. It doesn't mean one is better or lesser. It's not a competition. People can find us both attractive and want to know us better.

So, no, admirers doesn't bother me. I'm quietly confident in knowing that my own brand of waffling intensity and cute chubbiness is okay really.

I'm not going to say I don't understand why people might be put off though.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

If they had lots of playmates, yes. Because I wouldn't want to be one of many, feeling like I was on some sort of list or rota. Nothing to do with comparing myself, as most people like a bit of variety.

Admirers? Well that's totally different, they might not necessarily be interested in their admirers, that's probably very one sided.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

There are more variables at play that would determine whether I message someone or not.

If I found this person particularly captivating I wouldn't care how many lovers they have.

If I had a passing interest in them, I would see the many lovers as a bit of put off, but only because I would feel like they wouldn't want/need me.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

I wouldn't be concern. I realise that most people are doing the best they can. I have a friend who hates socialising so I only ask him out to things we do alone or with our friends of 20 plus years.

If they haven't got the emotional bandwidth to put up with loads of people, that is valid and up to them to take on what they can handle...

I, for example as per the above cock story, do not have the physical...mouth..throat...width? to suck and deep cock for more than 10 minutes. Lol! does this concern me...not slightest...I'm actuall relieved with smaller cocks. Lol! to go with my smaller mouth/jaw/etc...

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

As Meli says. I can understand why people feel competitive or overwhelmed by those who have lots of admirers.

I think this may be the only place I’m not competitive. Because I’m terms of who I find attractive - it’s a very broad scope. There’s not a type. Someone will just make me go - “oh” “yes, I like you”. So if I have that kind of variety - then so must some others. In which case I have as much or little chance as anyone else on here. I can’t (or more to the point) change who I am. Like me, love me or hate me….

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

What if I met someone that looks like you and her veri is descriptive of the meet? "

is this you shooting your shot? *runs*

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lots of playmates?

Yes because I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who uses that term.

Being slightly more serious. Possibly. It really depends on the person, if I think something could happen there.

Op, would you be put off/ not contact someone who had "plenty of admirers/playmates"?

Define lots of playmates?

I would assume more than two. But don't people generalise and even if you had two. More than one they'd teem it as lots of playmates?

Me... No. If I liked them and they like me then what they do is up to them. And vice versa.

If someone claimed I was the only one when I clearly wasn't then I'd have a problem with them but that's because they'd clearly be a liar and not someone to trust. I'd not go there.

I'm actually struggling with why admirers would even be part of an excuse to not contact someone. Hence the question.

Oh good, something to sink my teeth into when I'm high on painkillers.

I genuinely rather like this.

I don't compare myself to people on the forums who those I'm in a relationship (I'm using it to describe any dynamic, with love or without) with are interested in.

We're all incredibly different, bring different things to the table.

So, no, admirers doesn't bother me. I'm quietly confident in knowing that my own brand of waffling intensity and cute chubbiness is okay really.

I'm not going to say I don't understand why people might be put off though."

Nice response.

So just to pick you painkillered brain more.

If someone said to you that you didn't seem interested in them because you had lots of playmates and admirers how would you respond?

I would really want to respond back and question them. And ask how many playmates they think I had, how often they assumed I saw any of those playmates and what dynamics were involved and how would they know.

Even if I had a string of veris on my profile if I had them would not tell anyone those answers in detail so how could they use that excuse or reason?

And yes we are different Meli but I've never seen any other woman on the forums or outside of them as competition or a rival.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

If a person interests me then l would say hello or send them a message , wether l get one back is another thing , sometimes a person can be smitten by someone else..here or in the real world .. but that same feeling isn't returned.

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

I don’t believe in this whole ‘out of my league stuff’.

If you never ask you never know, looks are not everything

give it a go & if it doesn’t workout.

Crack on to the next one

plenty more fish in the sea

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lots of playmates?

Yes because I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who uses that term.

Being slightly more serious. Possibly. It really depends on the person, if I think something could happen there.

Op, would you be put off/ not contact someone who had "plenty of admirers/playmates"?

Define lots of playmates?

I would assume more than two. But don't people generalise and even if you had two. More than one they'd teem it as lots of playmates?

Me... No. If I liked them and they like me then what they do is up to them. And vice versa.

If someone claimed I was the only one when I clearly wasn't then I'd have a problem with them but that's because they'd clearly be a liar and not someone to trust. I'd not go there.

I'm actually struggling with why admirers would even be part of an excuse to not contact someone. Hence the question.

Oh good, something to sink my teeth into when I'm high on painkillers.

I genuinely rather like this.

I don't compare myself to people on the forums who those I'm in a relationship (I'm using it to describe any dynamic, with love or without) with are interested in.

We're all incredibly different, bring different things to the table.

So, no, admirers doesn't bother me. I'm quietly confident in knowing that my own brand of waffling intensity and cute chubbiness is okay really.

I'm not going to say I don't understand why people might be put off though.

Nice response.

So just to pick you painkillered brain more.

If someone said to you that you didn't seem interested in them because you had lots of playmates and admirers how would you respond?

Even if I had a string of veris on my profile if I had them would not tell anyone those answers in detail so how could they use that excuse or reason?

And yes we are different Meli but I've never seen any other woman on the forums or outside of them as competition or a rival.

Forgot to add I can see why admirers would mean competition.

I get that part now.

Didn't see it before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t believe in this whole ‘out of my league stuff’.

If you never ask you never know, looks are not everything

give it a go & if it doesn’t workout.

Crack on to the next one

plenty more fish in the sea "
Exactly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

Genuine surprise. "

How come?

I might appear to be really confident but I’m actually not, not when it comes to someone I actually like more than just “I think you’re good looking”. I don’t like the fear of being rejected. If I’m feeling confident that day I might shoot my shot but more often than not I like to wait and gauge any interest from them first. I can flirt until the cows come home but it’s all usually just a bit of harmless fun. I compare myself to other people all the time, it’s difficult not to when it’s so easily accessible on here. If I want to see the people they’ve previously slept with I can usually just go onto their profile and it’s all there in their veris. If they look nothing like me then I’m going to automatically think , why would they be interested. It’s silly I know this but it’s just how I think.

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By *oshblueyedmanMan
over a year ago

hereford

"I don’t believe in this whole ‘out of my league stuff’.

If you never ask you never know, looks are not everything

give it a go & if it doesn’t workout.

Crack on to the next one

plenty more fish in the sea Exactly. "

I totally agree x

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

no its swinging its what happens having sex with others it dont matter how many admirers they have on here they could have 1000s and never have met

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

Genuine surprise.

How come?

Have to say I'm very similar to you. Not as confident as some might think. I do question why someone would be interested in me. I tend not to compare myself to others they have been verified by but I still will wonder why someone has gone for me.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Difficult to answer.

If they are popular how are they going to make time for you?

Plus if you have already exchanged a few messages with them and nothing comes of it I'd say you were friendzoned and best leave it alone.

Also how can you tell if someone is popular if verifications are unavailable?

Fascinating "

We make time when your schedules line up. but I do stick to my region/area so it makes meeting up easier even in London. We also all end up going to the same clubs, parties and socials.

I try not to read too much into verifications. unless it's specifically to do with me. lol!

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I think that everyone can bring something to the party and if you don’t show you are interested then you will never know whether the other person is keen as well.

Go for it if you want to OP is my suggestion.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"It woundn't put me off, as I'm me and would bring something different to the others...

If I don't ask the question then the answers always no...."

Any time you want to come to London (South-west London or central) the answer's always yes.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think that everyone can bring something to the party and if you don’t show you are interested then you will never know whether the other person is keen as well.

Go for it if you want to OP is my suggestion."

oh this isn't about me going for someone. I'm not shy and will message. And them having others wouldn't put me off.

I do love the forums. No matter what you post people always assume you're asking about yourself.

I love asking a generic question and watching everyone think that it's about me. Never ceases to amuse me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of these responses make me sad

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I think that everyone can bring something to the party and if you don’t show you are interested then you will never know whether the other person is keen as well.

Go for it if you want to OP is my suggestion.

oh this isn't about me going for someone. I'm not shy and will message. And them having others wouldn't put me off.

I do love the forums. No matter what you post people always assume you're asking about yourself.

I love asking a generic question and watching everyone think that it's about me. Never ceases to amuse me. "

That's what I found funny about your cheating thread. Everyone assuming it was personal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It woundn't put me off, as I'm me and would bring something different to the others...

If I don't ask the question then the answers always no....

Any time you want to come to London (South-west London or central) the answer's always yes.

Is there an oyster card with that offer

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"As we tend to approach people in clubs we have no idea how "popular" they are so it's never a consideration. "

I've met fantastic people on clubs...I definitely do not be thinking about verifications in clubs. Lol!

This is why I don't spend too much time at home....then I'd have way too much time to be ruminating about people's profiles instead of actually going out and building my (deficient) social skills and connecting and playing with people.

If I spend too much time thinking about something my brain like to conclude the negative and talk me out of actually leaving the damned flat.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"Some of these responses make me sad

I think some (not all) of us are just a little fragile!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

A lady never tells. A gentleman never asks. Me: I don't remember...that covers it all.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think that everyone can bring something to the party and if you don’t show you are interested then you will never know whether the other person is keen as well.

Go for it if you want to OP is my suggestion.

oh this isn't about me going for someone. I'm not shy and will message. And them having others wouldn't put me off.

I do love the forums. No matter what you post people always assume you're asking about yourself.

I love asking a generic question and watching everyone think that it's about me. Never ceases to amuse me.

That's what I found funny about your cheating thread. Everyone assuming it was personal. "

Oh trust me the timing of that and what happened shortly after and the assumptions that would made.... Well that's a lesson in be careful what you post in itself.

I was actually asking for a reason that no one on the thread would have even come up with.

Neither of us cheated on each other to my knowledge.

Was quite evident in that thread how the forums interpret things.

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I think that everyone can bring something to the party and if you don’t show you are interested then you will never know whether the other person is keen as well.

Go for it if you want to OP is my suggestion.

oh this isn't about me going for someone. I'm not shy and will message. And them having others wouldn't put me off.

I do love the forums. No matter what you post people always assume you're asking about yourself.

I love asking a generic question and watching everyone think that it's about me. Never ceases to amuse me.

That's what I found funny about your cheating thread. Everyone assuming it was personal.

Oh trust me the timing of that and what happened shortly after and the assumptions that would made.... Well that's a lesson in be careful what you post in itself.

I was actually asking for a reason that no one on the thread would have even come up with.

Neither of us cheated on each other to my knowledge.

Was quite evident in that thread how the forums interpret things. "

Definitely. I can imagine people's imaginations running riot!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? no, but I would doubt myself and think I'm not good enough. I'm not saying this for sympathy, I just have low self-esteem. But I'm working on it "

hugs. It's a challenge. As i'm the other side of 40, people go 2 ways: either wild out giving zero fucks or....sink into the pit of despair or getting older.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

I'm procrastinating on my thigh tattoo. I'm also trying to remain sane so that's like a 200 hours a week job...lol!

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

A lady never tells. A gentleman never asks. Me: I don't remember...that covers it all.

This answer made me laugh a lot

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

It wouldn’t put me off at all OP. If I like a person and want to be friends then why would it?

They can always say no. It’s all good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless I knew they were involved with people I considered a high drama risk, why not?

The last thing I want here is to be the sole focus of someone's attention, not looking for that.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Nice response.

So just to pick you painkillered brain more.

If someone said to you that you didn't seem interested in them because you had lots of playmates and admirers how would you respond?

Even if I had a string of veris on my profile if I had them would not tell anyone those answers in detail so how could they use that excuse or reason?

And yes we are different Meli but I've never seen any other woman on the forums or outside of them as competition or a rival.

I didn't think you would.

It's not solely about seeing people as competition though is it? It's more... people can have self doubts. Uncertainty about what they could bring to the table so to speak.

I have a person who is ridiculously successful with women. Good looking, confident, theatrical, caring. You get the idea. When I'm pmt-ing and he messages I do have the occasional "what the beep could he see in me, there are far sexier women out there". So I can see why people when they're not too confident might be put off by lots of admirers.

If someone said they didn't think I'd be interested because I have lots of admirers/playmates I'd laugh. It's an easy, cheap compliment for one. Also - bar one person who a handful of people know about, no one knows how many playmates I have. Who they all are. What dynamic I have with them. No one knows unless you share it with them. Don't get me wrong, the forums can give you a bit of a clue as to who is fucking/wants to be fucking who. It's also not a Bible to be religiously believed.

I've had people say they didn't think I'd be interested as I'm popular before. Normally I point out I'm not popular, I just type a fuck lot of waffle/vaguely smutty posts and have tits. It's easy to confuse that with popularity.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"No, I would be wondering why on earth they would want me if they had other 'options' "

At this stage in my car-crash life I'm just happy to be on the menu. Lol!

A few people ( lies. a lot of people) need to be tossed out of the restaurant A few people ( lies. a lot of people) only ever order and eat one thing. Some people are never happy no matter what they order and eat.

And some people like me, they are conoissuers and try everything on the menu and then decide which are their favourites but will order non-favourites depending on their mood.

We can't all be favourites or have all favourites.

I like cheese. I like most cheese. However, cheese doesn't like me. So unfortunately I can only have cheese in small doses and not every week.

Just so we are clear my... am...playmates or admirers are not cheese. Lol!

I'm not calling anyone cheesy...I however am prepared to be called cheesy..see above zero fucks.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I can't see me ever having that issue

The people I like have people already so I'm surplus to requirements "

You just live too far away in the cold frozen North, Wonko.

You need an Snow and Ice Queen.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nice response.

So just to pick you painkillered brain more.

If someone said to you that you didn't seem interested in them because you had lots of playmates and admirers how would you respond?

Even if I had a string of veris on my profile if I had them would not tell anyone those answers in detail so how could they use that excuse or reason?

And yes we are different Meli but I've never seen any other woman on the forums or outside of them as competition or a rival.

I didn't think you would.

It's not solely about seeing people as competition though is it? It's more... people can have self doubts. Uncertainty about what they could bring to the table so to speak.

That last bit made me laugh too much I now have to go and read what you put you again.

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By *valanche1001Man
over a year ago

Leeds

No, you might be THE one they were looking for

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By *inger_SnapWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

"I can't see me ever having that issue

The people I like have people already so I'm surplus to requirements

You just live too far away in the cold frozen North, Wonko.

You need an Snow and Ice Queen."

I really do love all your comments

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No, I would be wondering why on earth they would want me if they had other 'options'

At this stage in my car-crash life I'm just happy to be on the menu. Lol!

And some people like me, they are conoissuers and try everything on the menu and then decide which are their favourites but will order non-favourites depending on their mood.

We can't all be favourites or have all favourites.

I like cheese. I like most cheese. However, cheese doesn't like me. So unfortunately I can only have cheese in small doses and not every week.

Just so we are clear my... am...playmates or admirers are not cheese. Lol!

I'm not calling anyone cheesy...I however am prepared to be called cheesy..see above zero fucks."

You had me at cheese! I wish it was all as easy as cheese though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nice response.

So just to pick you painkillered brain more.

If someone said to you that you didn't seem interested in them because you had lots of playmates and admirers how would you respond?

Even if I had a string of veris on my profile if I had them would not tell anyone those answers in detail so how could they use that excuse or reason?

And yes we are different Meli but I've never seen any other woman on the forums or outside of them as competition or a rival.

I didn't think you would.

It's not solely about seeing people as competition though is it? It's more... people can have self doubts. Uncertainty about what they could bring to the table so to speak.

Yep, can’t forget the tits

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Nice response.

So just to pick you painkillered brain more.

If someone said to you that you didn't seem interested in them because you had lots of playmates and admirers how would you respond?

Even if I had a string of veris on my profile if I had them would not tell anyone those answers in detail so how could they use that excuse or reason?

And yes we are different Meli but I've never seen any other woman on the forums or outside of them as competition or a rival.

I didn't think you would.

It's not solely about seeing people as competition though is it? It's more... people can have self doubts. Uncertainty about what they could bring to the table so to speak.

Actually I'm a tad confused.

Not had sex in half a decade but no one knows how many playmates you have.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I chatted with someone who wanted VWE in her profile and she also told me she wanted 9 inch + meets. Okay fair enough.. so I told her I was not the man for her and she was like wait wait wait! I like you.

Fuck it I didn't feel I had anything to offer her.

On another note do many women know how long nine inches is on a ruler??"

My dear Colin, this comes with the territory of discerning who actually knows what they want, what they can handle and how to actually get it without offending ( or manipulating) anyone.

Some people just message because they are bored and they want someone to talk to and then find out that they like talking to a person but they have their bias in the back of their head holding them back.

Personally, I don't spend any time talking to people who put in their profile something that I do not believe that I meet. For example slim. I'm not slim. I've always had a phat arse and thick thighs in comparison to my upper body.

Anyone who puts "discrete" triggers me. I've met too many private, discrete secretive people who were up to no good...to my detriment and the detriment of others. That's not for me.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I might assume they wouldn't be interested but if they were interested, then their others interests wouldn't put me off.

I have a thigh tattoo.... Just saying

Let's compare thigh tattoos

I'm genuinely jealous. I haven't let a single person permanently draw on me.

...because I'm a procrastinating, easily triggered, wimp.

I claim cool-ness through my hairstyles and 6 ear piercings.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Yes definitely, I stay in my lane"

How can I get you in my "lane" Kind Sir?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? no, but I would doubt myself and think I'm not good enough. I'm not saying this for sympathy, I just have low self-esteem. But I'm working on it

hugs. It's a challenge. As i'm the other side of 40, people go 2 ways: either wild out giving zero fucks or....sink into the pit of despair or getting older.

I'm the wild out and stop giving a fuck 40-something year old. As long as I don't end up in the hospital ( ICU or psych ward), jail or prematurely in the grave, I'm going to do what makes me happy and makes me be able to look at myself in the mirror (sober with varifocals) with some integrity."
I've had it for years. Being a chubby teenager to getting "buff" and getting my heart broken multiple times it just knocked my confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

It wouldn't put me off x but I don't like to see lots of verifications on profiles x

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

"Kind of. Especially if I’ve looked at their veris and the people they meet with look nothing like me, body type etc.

Genuine surprise.

How come?

Like you've said, you do come across as confident, you look very hot, and have said you're conventionally attractive so you just assume you'd be mega confident and could get anyone you wanted so wouldn't have to worry about rejection.

I do forget we're the same and filled with similar insecurities regardless of exterior appearance.

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"We are terrified of rejection and don't contact anyone just in case

I don't think that would be an issue for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck it I didn't feel I had anything to offer her.

On another note do many women know how long nine inches is on a ruler??

My dear Colin, this comes with the territory of discerning who actually knows what they want, what they can handle and how to actually get it without offending ( or manipulating) anyone.

Anyone who puts "discrete" triggers me. I've met too many private, discrete secretive people who were up to no good...to my detriment and the detriment of others. That's not for me."

I get you with that. Also women who ask for 8'9'10+ inches can trigger me a bit because they don't know how a ruler works! Seriously the amount of times I see women who state they only have sex with men who are over 8+ inches and yet in the pics they are obviously having sex with average Joe's.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I chat safe in the knowledge that they likely don’t fancy me, therefore if by some miracle they do fancy, well more likely tolerate me, then woo hoo.

Apparently I am Fiddles and Fiddles is me.

I think he’s pretty cool, so I’m okay with that.

"Sometimes you just have to tell yourself " Fuck it." What do I have to lose. "

I’m also a bit like Blu though. Sometimes. A bit.

The number of other partners/fans/whatever a person has on here isn’t really important to me. If I like someone, I say hi. And I like most people.

And if I fancy someone … then the part of my brain that fancies them kinda takes over. So I definitely say hi.

And if I *really* fancy them … they know about that by now. I’m not one for hiding it.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Lots of playmates?

Yes because I wouldn't be compatible with anyone who uses that term.

Being slightly more serious. Possibly. It really depends on the person, if I think something could happen there.

Op, would you be put off/ not contact someone who had "plenty of admirers/playmates"?

Define lots of playmates?

I would assume more than two. But don't people generalise and even if you had two. More than one they'd teem it as lots of playmates?

Me... No. If I liked them and they like me then what they do is up to them. And vice versa.

If someone claimed I was the only one when I clearly wasn't then I'd have a problem with them but that's because they'd clearly be a liar and not someone to trust. I'd not go there.

I'm actually struggling with why admirers would even be part of an excuse to not contact someone. Hence the question.

Oh good, something to sink my teeth into when I'm high on painkillers.

I genuinely rather like this.

I don't compare myself to people on the forums who those I'm in a relationship (I'm using it to describe any dynamic, with love or without) with are interested in.

We're all incredibly different, bring different things to the table.

So, no, admirers doesn't bother me. I'm quietly confident in knowing that my own brand of waffling intensity and cute chubbiness is okay really.

I'm not going to say I don't understand why people might be put off though."

Lol@ High on painkillers...

I wish I could use that excuse..Nope..i'm naturally this obtuse, verbose, wordy and intense.

So much so I threatened to gag myself and a previous meet. Lol! Peculiar kind of bondage but nothing focuses the mind like intentionally refraining from speaking.

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I usually lose out due to my infrequent availability, rather than because I pigeon-hole myself or those I am attracted to.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"It woundn't put me off, as I'm me and would bring something different to the others...

If I don't ask the question then the answers always no....

Any time you want to come to London (South-west London or central) the answer's always yes.

Is there an oyster card with that offer "

Lol! hardly anyone uses Oyster anymore. I've got a pass because I'm mental.

London is mental so I think I'm in the right place.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Some of these responses make me sad

I think some (not all) of us are just a little fragile! "

I'm more patched up. Lol! hard to get through lots of Duct tape.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

Op.how many playmates and admirers do you have

A lady never tells. A gentleman never asks. Me: I don't remember...that covers it all.

This answer made me laugh a lot

Good I do try to be entertaining when I'm not being entertained.

Too much in this world to worry and cry about. I'd rather not add to that aspect of life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It woundn't put me off, as I'm me and would bring something different to the others...

If I don't ask the question then the answers always no....

Any time you want to come to London (South-west London or central) the answer's always yes.

Is there an oyster card with that offer

Lol! hardly anyone uses Oyster anymore. I've got a pass because I'm mental.

London is mental so I think I'm in the right place.

Not really selling the offer on London with "mental" not going to lie

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Aww you'll get used to me, Love. I'm weird.

It's any wonder that I have playmates and admirers. Lol!

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"Some of these responses make me sad

I think some (not all) of us are just a little fragile!

I'm more patched up. Lol! hard to get through lots of Duct tape."

Having met you maverick, I would say that you have a great outlook on things. Did you mention star trek? I know way too much about that shit

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Unless I knew they were involved with people I considered a high drama risk, why not?

The last thing I want here is to be the sole focus of someone's attention, not looking for that."

Good plan..keeps the stalkers away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww you'll get used to me, Love. I'm weird.

It's any wonder that I have playmates and admirers. Lol!"

Thought a lady didn't declare that

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

It wouldn’t put me off at all OP. If I like a person and want to be friends then why would it?

They can always say no. It’s all good

Or better they say no and you find out that they are a serial killer and you dodged a bullet....I watch too many crime documentaries. Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I think that everyone can bring something to the party and if you don’t show you are interested then you will never know whether the other person is keen as well.

Go for it if you want to OP is my suggestion.

oh this isn't about me going for someone. I'm not shy and will message. And them having others wouldn't put me off.

I do love the forums. No matter what you post people always assume you're asking about yourself.

I love asking a generic question and watching everyone think that it's about me. Never ceases to amuse me.

That's what I found funny about your cheating thread. Everyone assuming it was personal.

Oh trust me the timing of that and what happened shortly after and the assumptions that would made.... Well that's a lesson in be careful what you post in itself.

I was actually asking for a reason that no one on the thread would have even come up with.

Neither of us cheated on each other to my knowledge.

Was quite evident in that thread how the forums interpret things.

Definitely. I can imagine people's imaginations running riot!"

As you can probably tell I have an over active imagination...at midnight...need to sleep...but I'm also an insomniac.

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

It actually stimulates the opposite in me. I prefer to meet popular guys and have "our night" together as they are happier to share and have a similar mindset to me regarding sex and playtime.

Whilst I adore my fwb relationships, a weekend of debauchery with someone new is sometimes exactly what I need

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I can't see me ever having that issue

The people I like have people already so I'm surplus to requirements

You just live too far away in the cold frozen North, Wonko.

You need an Snow and Ice Queen.

I really do love all your comments

My pleasure, Milady!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"No, I would be wondering why on earth they would want me if they had other 'options'

At this stage in my car-crash life I'm just happy to be on the menu. Lol!

And some people like me, they are conoissuers and try everything on the menu and then decide which are their favourites but will order non-favourites depending on their mood.

We can't all be favourites or have all favourites.

I like cheese. I like most cheese. However, cheese doesn't like me. So unfortunately I can only have cheese in small doses and not every week.

Just so we are clear my... am...playmates or admirers are not cheese. Lol!

I'm not calling anyone cheesy...I however am prepared to be called cheesy..see above zero fucks.

You had me at cheese! I wish it was all as easy as cheese though

If cheese were easy for me, I could eat as much as I want and not clog a single artery.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

Well that was an interesting read. Good to see different points of view on this, thanks PW.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Aww you'll get used to me, Love. I'm weird.

It's any wonder that I have playmates and admirers. Lol!"

Oh my all these comments and you reply to one of mine and it was just an emoji.

Yep I probably will need some time to get used to you. I'll agree you do come across a little weird.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Aww you'll get used to me, Love. I'm weird.

It's any wonder that I have playmates and admirers. Lol!

Thought a lady didn't declare that "

What if you're not a lady and still don't declare it.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"It woundn't put me off, as I'm me and would bring something different to the others...

If I don't ask the question then the answers always no....

Any time you want to come to London (South-west London or central) the answer's always yes.

Is there an oyster card with that offer

Lol! hardly anyone uses Oyster anymore. I've got a pass because I'm mental.

London is mental so I think I'm in the right place.

Not really selling the offer on London with "mental" not going to lie

Lol! I don't sell. I mere place on a shelf. Buyer beware. Lol!

I come with a warning label...see profile...

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Aww you'll get used to me, Love. I'm weird.

It's any wonder that I have playmates and admirers. Lol!

Thought a lady didn't declare that "

I have vaguely any that I can't recollect.

No specific number.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Some of these responses make me sad

I think some (not all) of us are just a little fragile!

I'm more patched up. Lol! hard to get through lots of Duct tape.

Having met you maverick, I would say that you have a great outlook on things. Did you mention star trek? I know way too much about that shit

oh no...you let the cat out of the bag ...now everyone will think you are a playmate/admirer....

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

No it wouldn't put us off.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I usually lose out due to my infrequent availability, rather than because I pigeon-hole myself or those I am attracted to."

that's a thing. I understand scheduling issues so I don't hold it against my "playmates"/admirers"

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested?

It wouldn't put me off x but I don't like to see lots of verifications on profiles x "

That rules me out then. Lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? no, but I would doubt myself and think I'm not good enough. I'm not saying this for sympathy, I just have low self-esteem. But I'm working on it

hugs. It's a challenge. As i'm the other side of 40, people go 2 ways: either wild out giving zero fucks or....sink into the pit of despair or getting older.

I'm the wild out and stop giving a fuck 40-something year old. As long as I don't end up in the hospital ( ICU or psych ward), jail or prematurely in the grave, I'm going to do what makes me happy and makes me be able to look at myself in the mirror (sober with varifocals) with some integrity. I've had it for years. Being a chubby teenager to getting "buff" and getting my heart broken multiple times it just knocked my confidence "

Hugs

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"Some of these responses make me sad

I think some (not all) of us are just a little fragile!

I'm more patched up. Lol! hard to get through lots of Duct tape.

Having met you maverick, I would say that you have a great outlook on things. Did you mention star trek? I know way too much about that shit

oh no...you let the cat out of the bag ...now everyone will think you are a playmate/admirer....

An admirer, yes, a playmate, sadly not

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

----------------------------------------

I don't spend too much time studying people's pictures.

I also have a 9 inch dildo so I ...um...know what to expect. Lol!

But my personal claim to fame on penises, is that I haven't met one that was too small or too big....yet....

Disclaimer: still on the hunt for the micropenis.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I chat safe in the knowledge that they likely don’t fancy me, therefore if by some miracle they do fancy, well more likely tolerate me, then woo hoo.

I fancy you, we're just too far apart

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Some of these responses make me sad

I think some (not all) of us are just a little fragile!

I'm more patched up. Lol! hard to get through lots of Duct tape.

Having met you maverick, I would say that you have a great outlook on things. Did you mention star trek? I know way too much about that shit

oh no...you let the cat out of the bag ...now everyone will think you are a playmate/admirer....

An admirer, yes, a playmate, sadly not

You are not supposed to tell! now you will put all the other men off. Ladies sorry I'm clinically straight. TV message me. lol!

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I chat safe in the knowledge that they likely don’t fancy me, therefore if by some miracle they do fancy, well more likely tolerate me, then woo hoo.

Apparently I am Fiddles and Fiddles is me.

I think he’s pretty cool, so I’m okay with that.

Sometimes you just have to tell yourself " Fuck it." What do I have to lose.

I’m also a bit like Blu though. Sometimes. A bit.

The number of other partners/fans/whatever a person has on here isn’t really important to me. If I like someone, I say hi. And I like most people.

And if I fancy someone … then the part of my brain that fancies them kinda takes over. So I definitely say hi.

And if I *really* fancy them … they know about that by now. I’m not one for hiding it."

I verify that I've seen Mr RT fancy in action....

Oh wait.. Disclaimer: Not a playmate! um just a wingman/wingwoman.

Further disclaimer: there is admiration from my side.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

Aww you'll get used to me, Love. I'm weird.

It's any wonder that I have playmates and admirers. Lol!

Oh my all these comments and you reply to one of mine and it was just an emoji.

Yep I probably will need some time to get used to you. I'll agree you do come across a little weird.

Hugs..I don't bite....women that is... Sorry men. TV message me.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

It makes me sad that there are other people who feel like I do. But it brings me joy and hope when there are people who have been through similar but can shrug it off. That's what I'd like to get to.

Been an interesting read. Great thread, OP.

----------------------------------------

Hugs...I had people who told me I was not good enough.

Ever so often the BPD toddler in my head comes out with something mean and nasty along the lines of not being good enough. So I have an internal dialogue about why would I say that about myself and challenge it ( it's a therapy skill. very hard to do on your own)

4 days a week or more I surround myself with real people who give positive feedback and/or constructive criticism. I can't just shrug it off. My brain has been programmed into believing that I wasn't good enough for about 25 years. I don't care if I have to be in therapy for another 25 years..I would let those dysfunctional voices or echoes of the past take over my current or future anymore.

It's not easy and I sacrifice a lot to stay sane after those abusive 25 years.

So to everyone on the thread even if I don't know you, YOU are enough, valid and worth a DAMN by virtue of being a human being.

If you are an AI bot...um...I have no experience with those....

Goodnight all. I'm off to my weird little bed with my weird little meds.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

That wouldn’t put me off but if I started messaging and it felt like they were putting minimal effort in or it felt like I was one of many they were messaging , that would put me off.

The way I look at it everyone is a potential partner until you or they decide otherwise

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Further disclaimer: there is admiration from my side.

Aww, you big sweetheart.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Further disclaimer: there is admiration from my side.

Aww, you big sweetheart. "

Ladies, he's an absolute charmer.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Wouldn't put me off. Everyone needs lots of friends

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

Not at all. This has happened before and it is actually quite exciting.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

No…we have playmates in different parts of the country so we don’t see them often.

It wouldn’t bother us if potential playmates had others playmates.

I think that’s part of swinging.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

Actually this happened with Tinder and I.

I could see that she was popular with plenty of attention going her way and I was just your average Joe so I had made that assumption that I didn’t have anything to offer beyond what she was already getting.

Personally I had been on fab many years ago and the last thing I wanted to be this time was just another number so it took ages for me to ask if she wanted to meet.

Moral of this story is that regardless of how we feel about ourselves other people will see you differently

Marc

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

No. My assumption is any woman that would consider meeting me must have other playmates too

Hopefully no more than 2 or 3 regulars but it's none of my business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, If they weren't on Fab they wouldn't be coming with/without veris. If they're less than a dunce in general conversation, and don't have only a face a mother could love?... Then they're likely getting interaction in real life too. So why worry

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

Yes it would put me off. For various reasons really. My last Fab dalliance had another lady he played with and he was always pushing for a threesome between us and despite my refusal he would keep banging on about it which got a bit boring. There is the tales of their debauchery that you don’t want to hear, potential drama, and I personally don’t like feeling as if I’m an option “hmmmm which pussy do I feel like tonight? Ahhh I’ll have the Welsh one”. Silly I know, but there we have it.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford... (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)

In this day and age isn't it more naivety to think someone hasn't got other playmates ... it's whether they Can be honest and tell you so that's the value?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Up Your Frock!

You’re assuming they know they have all those admirers? I for one have no idea how many women lie alone at night practicing kissing their pillow wishing it was me and leaving tearstained mascara marks on them… but it’s probably thousands if not more…. Just message me if you want to… don’t feel intimidated- im just a normal down to earth - incredible bloke!!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"You’re assuming they know they have all those admirers? I for one have no idea how many women lie alone at night practicing kissing their pillow wishing it was me and leaving tearstained mascara marks on them… but it’s probably thousands if not more…. Just message me if you want to… don’t feel intimidated- im just a normal down to earth - incredible bloke!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes it would put me off. For various reasons really. My last Fab dalliance had another lady he played with and he was always pushing for a threesome between us and despite my refusal he would keep banging on about it which got a bit boring. There is the tales of their debauchery that you don’t want to hear, potential drama, and I personally don’t like feeling as if I’m an option “hmmmm which pussy do I feel like tonight? Ahhh I’ll have the Welsh one”. Silly I know, but there we have it."

That’s outrageous, some people on here are only after one and one only, yes it’s a swinging site blah blah blah but intimacy should only really be shared with one or there’s not the full effort, obviously all of the ladies in here have many admirers but I dare say a lot of them only really want the one, one that blows your socks off granted so that can take a few ‘ones’ to find out

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By *he MinionMan
over a year ago

For me, it wouldnt stop me messaging but would be under the beleif that with so much attention, I stood little chance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I assume nobody is interested full stop, so I rarely ask at all. Which I think (like you op) others will do the same.

But, if I know someone had a husband and they believed in monogamous. I wouldn’t ask them for marriage.

If they had a 1 to 1 relationship and they believed in exclusive. I wouldn’t ask them

If they were here swinging, and had a few people they mix with….you should be able to ask them.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

Assuming or assumption is a dangerous thing ,

People assume I have lots admires, FB ,

People assume I am married ,

People assume I am too good to be true and so on …

What I do is nobody business and so what , if I am interested in you take it as a compliment and let’s move it on and see , lots of people look for the negative in this and we are all looking for something, of course we are .. otherwise this place isn’t for you ..

A lot of growing up to be had on here .

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

The nature of the site you would have to accept that people you meet have other playmates or will have. It wouldn't put me off.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

The nature of the site you would have to accept that people you meet have other playmates or will have. It wouldn't put me off.

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

No, but I might consider whether I would fit in with what they already have. If all someone’s verifications are from men aged between 21 and 40 then I would assume, probably correctly, that I’d be wasting their time.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

The number of people never put me off, but who those people were and how they conducted themselves has in the past. Who, because I think some people on here are genuinely vile, and I don't want to associate with anyone who thinks those people are okay, even if it's just to wet their dick in them. And how they conduct themselves? If they blatantly had their finger in many different, ahem, pies, then I would bypass them if I didn't feel that they'd give me their undivided attention for at least the duration of a meet and it's build up...it's a matter of respect towards another human, not treating them as just the next available orifice that comes along on their conveyor belt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Already had playmates or plenty of admirers would it put you off contacting them?

Would you assume they wouldn't be interested? "

No got a few lady friends on hear we have a laugh and some have helped me get through some difficult times and I will say that some guys are same helped me and still chat occasionally

Fab is about sex but sometimes it’s the social aspect just my opinion I’m to old for anyone’s filters anyway lol

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Bliss

"In this day and age isn't it more naivety to think someone hasn't got other playmates ... it's whether they Can be honest and tell you so that's the value?"

The honesty part is the hardest one. People will only tell you what they want you to know. and there is no way of 100% knowing who and when they have met up with someone. Veris are easily disposed off when you unlos and rejoin, thereby removing any points of potential

but most hiding it won't veri each other at all. Most dalliances are leaps of faith and hope that we won't get too badly burned by our choices.

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