FabSwingers.com forum: Angry

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I’ve been badgered and pecked at by him for a while now, he’s done it in a group and one to one context, and I’ve had people call me after meetings to ask how I’d stayed calm. He does this to a handful of people across the company. Well this time, I couldn’t help myself. My voice raised, I told him he was making me angry and I hung up the call before I exploded.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I live angry. It’s my nature. I need to chill TF out more.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I live angry. It’s my nature. I need to chill TF out more. "

Have you ever tried boxing training?

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

It’s good to unload that feeling to dickheads at times.

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By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

I'm usually pretty cool, there's this woman at work who I've tried various ways to approach her,in a group and one to one.

It's nothing sinister just constructive criticism.

However yesterday she flew off the handle on the phone went into a rage and slammed phone down...rude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t get angry. Just disappointed.

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By *exyEggsCouple
over a year ago

North East Scotland, mostly

Oh, that sounds like a difficult situation, Red

I'm not a fan of confrontation. I get all flustered and only think of the things I should have said afterwards.

I lose my shit with my kids on a daily basis, but I think that's more frustration and lack of patience than anger.

I do get righteously angry about injustices, though, and then you'd better watch out! I will calmly yet furiously wade in.

Mrs TMN x

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By *agerMorganMan
over a year ago

Canvey Island

I lost my cool with my boss this week, was trying to get ready for an audit yesterday, but in the last couple of months he suddenly developed this penchant for pointless teams meetings where he’d deliberately undermine me.

So I told him in front of the CEO (it’s a very small company) that I’m sick to the back teeth with the way he’s been acting towards me and perhaps he’s not suitable for the role of CTO if he can’t handle someone with a bit more knowledge coming in.

Still quietly simmering now.

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

I don't get bothered my othe people but If someone is trying to belittle me, I will listen to every thing they say so I can, at some point, use there own words against them.

It is something I'm never proud of but rather this then let another person get the better of me by outwardly displaying any emotion control they mine momentarly have on me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm usually pretty cool, there's this woman at work who I've tried various ways to approach her,in a group and one to one.

It's nothing sinister just constructive criticism.

However yesterday she flew off the handle on the phone went into a rage and slammed phone down...rude!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s actually something I really struggle with. I have a really short fuse and can go from 0-100 really quickly. It’s got me into trouble in the past. I wish I was one of those people that can be as cool as cucumber and let things just wash over their heads or think rationally first. A lot of the time my mouth speaks before I’ve even had a chance to think about it.

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By *irwolf20Man
over a year ago

Nuneaton

Takes a lot to get me to breaking point, normally fairly chilled... but occasionally, when REALLY pushed , my inner Basil Fawlty emerges. Not so much jekyll & Hyde, more like Daz n Baz

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s actually something I really struggle with. I have a really short fuse and can go from 0-100 really quickly. It’s got me into trouble in the past. I wish I was one of those people that can be as cool as cucumber and let things just wash over their heads or think rationally first. A lot of the time my mouth speaks before I’ve even had a chance to think about it. "

It’s a nightmare, isn’t it? When I’m in that zone I’ve got a habit of losing the right words too, which frustrates me even more.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Should have battered the phone over his head

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Takes a lot to get me to breaking point, normally fairly chilled... but occasionally, when REALLY pushed , my inner Basil Fawlty emerges. Not so much jekyll & Hyde, more like Daz n Baz

Inner Basil Fawlty

I love this, Airwolf

I get Kermit arms. Waving about to make my point. Cringe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At work never, at home I'll let F answer that

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By *ent1000Man
over a year ago

swanley

Never loose it at work ... it’s a highly emotive job full of pain and turmoil for those in my care

Can’t take it personally

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Anger deployed when necessary can be a helpful and healthy emotion.

Letting things build and then getting angry with someone isn't.

Best to deal with things calmly. AND, unfortunately , as a woman it will be pointed to as a weakness and as evidence that you can't handle things.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I lost my cool with my boss this week, was trying to get ready for an audit yesterday, but in the last couple of months he suddenly developed this penchant for pointless teams meetings where he’d deliberately undermine me.

Still quietly simmering now. "

Did anything happen afterwards? Well done for saying how you felt.

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By *ent1000Man
over a year ago

swanley

[Removed by poster at 01/04/23 10:02:40]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

You say he's been 'picking' at you for a while.... it should have been faced at the time.

Those people calling you after the meetings are 'stirrers' not carers. In future don't feed them. Vultures. They love the drama. ( only you will know if it was a real friend with a shoulder )

Seriously i don't believe that other people make a person angry .... that person is just angry and not in an emotional state to deal with challenge.

I'm not saying he is right and if what he says is out of order it should be dealt with as colleagues and adults.

Maybe he is not aware of how disgruntled others are.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"It’s good to unload that feeling to dickheads at times.

Don't you then become the dickhead ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very few people can wind me up, they have to mean something to me in the first place for me to get angry with them.

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By *ent1000Man
over a year ago

swanley

Still quietly simmering now.

Did anything happen afterwards? Well done for saying how you felt."

Might be an idea just to register your grievances through appropriate channels ... protect yourself

Can imagine you still feel quite raw and emotional - big hug

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By *urls and DressesWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere near here

I hope you’re feeling better now OP.

It take a lot for me to explode, I have to be pecked so much for me to let go. However, when I’m pregnant I don’t hold back, moreso because I have the excuse of being pregnant!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m pretty chill

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Oh, that sounds like a difficult situation, Red

I'm not a fan of confrontation. I get all flustered and only think of the things I should have said afterwards.

I lose my shit with my kids on a daily basis, but I think that's more frustration and lack of patience than anger.

I do get righteously angry about injustices, though, and then you'd better watch out! I will calmly yet furiously wade in.

Mrs TMN x"

I know when I am calm.... others will lose. It's a bit terminatory and focussed. If I'm flapping and moaning everyone knows im just steaming and nothing is really up .....

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

No i never lose my cool although made dad used to do removals and he asked me to help him this was at a weekend and i was driving his van he couldn't drive his foot was in plaster and on previous occasions when i had driven his van he always told me to take the turning wide so rear wheels didn't catch the kerb so on this occasion i took the turn wide and he turned on me as usual "why did you go so wide you'll have an accident" so i turned on him and said " why do you criticise me every time i help you I'm sick of it and you told me to take the turns wide, I'm getting out of this van now and you can do job on your own". I tell you what i think that may have been the turning point in our relationship he never criticised me again after that, he had gained respect for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You say he's been 'picking' at you for a while.... it should have been faced at the time.

Those people calling you after the meetings are 'stirrers' not carers. In future don't feed them. Vultures. They love the drama. ( only you will know if it was a real friend with a shoulder )

Seriously i don't believe that other people make a person angry .... that person is just angry and not in an emotional state to deal with challenge.

I'm not saying he is right and if what he says is out of order it should be dealt with as colleagues and adults.

Maybe he is not aware of how disgruntled others are.

Thanks Granny, take your points.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"No i never lose my cool although made dad used to do removals and he asked me to help him this was at a weekend and i was driving his van he couldn't drive his foot was in plaster and on previous occasions when i had driven his van he always told me to take the turning wide so rear wheels didn't catch the kerb so on this occasion i took the turn wide and he turned on me as usual "why did you go so wide you'll have an accident" so i turned on him and said " why do you criticise me every time i help you I'm sick of it and you told me to take the turns wide, I'm getting out of this van now and you can do job on your own". I tell you what i think that may have been the turning point in our relationship he never criticised me again after that, he had gained respect for me

"
my not made

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Still quietly simmering now. "

Wow.. what gave you the right to do that to a person ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can wind me up, they have to mean something to me in the first place for me to get angry with them.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm a redhead so I have a temper but it rarely surfaces.

The last time was 5 years ago just after I had taken a member of staff through a disciplinary for inappropriate actions towards a female colleague.

The next day he did everything possible to wind me up and ignored numerous direct orders.

Eventually after 6 hours of him ranting and shitstirring I told him to do his fucking job.

His response was to headbutt me.

We grappled for a few mins during which he ended up with a bloody nose. I told him to leave the building which he did but went on immediate sick leave claiming mental health issues.

I was going to be disciplined for gross misconduct until the MD stepped in and put an end to that.

He returned 3 months later and I moved him to a different dept where he was caught stealing both goods and time and dismissed within a month.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"You say he's been 'picking' at you for a while.... it should have been faced at the time.

Those people calling you after the meetings are 'stirrers' not carers. In future don't feed them. Vultures. They love the drama. ( only you will know if it was a real friend with a shoulder )

Seriously i don't believe that other people make a person angry .... that person is just angry and not in an emotional state to deal with challenge.

I'm not saying he is right and if what he says is out of order it should be dealt with as colleagues and adults.

Maybe he is not aware of how disgruntled others are.

Thanks Granny, take your points."

Thanks. I do blow. However, I don't feel to clever afterwards. It happens less these days. I firmly believe my emotions are MY responsibility as is how I handle any situation.

I'll forgive any angry person once but not twice or thrice. I'm no ones punch bag.

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By *estLondonDeepMan
over a year ago

London

I used to get very angry very quickly. Explosively angry. I realised it was damaging and could get me into a lot of trouble. Say the wrong thing to someone in a business meeting and it could be career limiting.

It took a while to change, but I'm pretty chilled these days and all the better for it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm a redhead so I have a temper but it rarely surfaces.

The last time was 5 years ago just after I had taken a member of staff through a disciplinary for inappropriate actions towards a female colleague.

The next day he did everything possible to wind me up and ignored numerous direct orders.

Eventually after 6 hours of him ranting and shitstirring I told him to do his fucking job.

His response was to headbutt me.

We grappled for a few mins during which he ended up with a bloody nose. I told him to leave the building which he did but went on immediate sick leave claiming mental health issues.

I was going to be disciplined for gross misconduct until the MD stepped in and put an end to that.

He returned 3 months later and I moved him to a different dept where he was caught stealing both goods and time and dismissed within a month. "

Fuck! That’s horrible.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

I'm usually pretty cool, there's this woman at work who I've tried various ways to approach her,in a group and one to one.

It's nothing sinister just constructive criticism.

However yesterday she flew off the handle on the phone went into a rage and slammed phone down...rude!

What a horror! She should control herself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope, I tend to sit back and remain calm, if I find myself losing it, I’ll go outside for 5 and look at the problem from the third person.

There always seems to be reasons for people nitpicking at others.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can wind me up, they have to mean something to me in the first place for me to get angry with them.

Shall we just chill together?

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

I'm super-chill at work. Probably too much and I should really tell people that they're pissing me off more often...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't lose my temper, but people know when they have pissed me off

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I don't get bothered my othe people but If someone is trying to belittle me, I will listen to every thing they say so I can, at some point, use there own words against them.

It is something I'm never proud of but rather this then let another person get the better of me by outwardly displaying any emotion control they mine momentarly have on me."

Ooer ..... I have someone very close to me who does this. I'll spare you what I say to them.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Still quietly simmering now.

Did anything happen afterwards? Well done for saying how you felt.

Might be an idea just to register your grievances through appropriate channels ... protect yourself

Can imagine you still feel quite raw and emotional - big hug"

It's not the boss that causes the simmering it's just the chemicals released by those that are not handling themselves or situations.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten."

my fuse is long.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten.

my fuse is long. "

Smooth talker

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten."

Why not act the first time you are poked. If you don't it appears it's okay to poke you.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten.

my fuse is long.

Smooth talker

Let's hope it's a FatFuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten.

my fuse is long.

Smooth talker

Let's hope it's a FatFuse"

Like a ships rope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I work in an environment where if you lose your shit you'd be disciplined and under the watch of LADO

As a supervisor I'm quite open to criticism if it's reasoned and you can back up what you say, I will reflect and if I think I'm wrong I'll admit it, but if I think someone is being arse, or overbearing then I will say so.

I'm assertive and outspoken but I rarely lose my cool.....It's how you say it over what you say. My boss reckons I should be negotiating peace deals in the UN instead of negotiating stroppy parents and dealing with stroppier staff....it's no mean feat being in charge of a bunch of 20 somethings and younger, mainly girls, half the time they fall out and I have to be mediator....usually on a Monday

Going to a colleagues 30th Birthday party tonight, all the young ones will be there. There is a history of parties and events being ruined by a certain staff who cannot control his drink levels and displays outbursts. He and his cronies have been warned already

Monday might be interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't lose my cool. I'll respond accordingly depending on how I'm treated and spoken to.

Some management and colleagues really have no clue how to treat each other. I don't care for that in the slightest.

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

I feel anger but mainly at myself through frustration at my fear to just speak and join in.

In general ppl rarely make me angry enough to react but I do think it builds inside me until eventually one little thing might trigger it all coming out

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

[Removed by poster at 01/04/23 10:23:14]

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I feel anger but mainly at myself through frustration at my fear to just speak and join in.

In general ppl rarely make me angry enough to react but I do think it builds inside me until eventually one little thing might trigger it all coming out"

James. that's fantastic that you recognise that stresses and fears are what prevent us from speaking out.

We should all speak out calmly cos if you don't you lose yourself to others who can't even see you.

I liked what you said.

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

I rarely rarely lose my temper at work as the role I'm in you can't just can't. But once in blue moon it happens, but good for you doing that and strange as it sounds people feel lot better letting of steam.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

To RealMissShady

CBA with quoting.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I wouldn't say I'm a generally angry person and usually quite good at controlling it when I am. But my way of dealing with it is to go very quiet which is apparently seen as more dangerous

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I have lost my shit a few times when I was younger but that is mainly due to frustration - I have predominately worked in startups (before they were trendy) and you don’t have the space to carry people there.

Now I am senior I very rarely raise my voice but I will do it if needed for effect/to drive a point home - it is the “Dad is not happy” approach

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

Without wishing to look like I’m creeping, I think what you did was a good thing. It comes across that you have, until this week, allowed his jibes to wash over you. One might argue that you shouldn’t acquiesce to such things but, when you consider early or minor irritations in isolation, they often don’t seem worthy of response - especially to a senior colleague.

Despite his status, you have shown him that what he is doing is not acceptable and that you are prepared to call him out. I hope that will turn out to be a watershed moment.

Personally, I tend not to lose my temper. I get frustrated very easily but will walk away instead of confronting someone. Probably not the best strategy, but that’s me. I’ve never liked arguments, they never leave me feeling better (not least because I can never think of what I want to say and always lose!

)

If I fall out with colleagues I tend to just ignore them.

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

people you work with are not your friends.

its important to remember this.

you are there to earn money, nothing else.

i hope you are all well and have a good weekend

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

It does take a lot to make me lose my temper, but when I do I explode.

I calm down pretty quickly though and rarely hold grudges.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

im usually calm but every now and again something as to be said,,, i dont blame you red x

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I do, yes.

But I work hard not to, with limited success.

Being goaded is very unfair xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Very few people can wind me up, they have to mean something to me in the first place for me to get angry with them.

Shall we just chill together?"

Pm me. I think my food is too spicy for you

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

I finally lost it with a colleague a few years back.

I thought I’d remained calm externally and just said some things firmly. A colleague backed me up. But I was threatened with HR by my boss, so had to apologise.

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By *ADY GOODWITCHWoman
over a year ago

single st, kinky Town

Well done you, I don't lose my temper easily but when I do I'm very controlled, but before than I like to wind the bully up first by being really nice and smile at them laugh with them, gives them a false sense of security then when the right time comes i get the karma I'm looking for, once it took 3 years but was so worth the wait,

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By *amesBeelzebubMan
over a year ago

norwich

I would also say based on the original post this sounds like bullying and your HR or bosses should be made aware.

Or if you feel able to confront them and explain how they make you feel first..some ppl don't realise they are being a dick

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

Felix I agree with most of what you say BUT......

It would have been much better to have said in a group .... sommat along the lines of .. Can you explain what you meant by that please ? without mood or temper , just with curiosity or looking for clarity...

That way everyone sees it and hears it.

As it stands a temper has been avoided, a call has been ended and then it's discussed with the wrong people.. and there is no evidence of what took place.

And he has a call that was hung up on ....

If one of my colleagues said I was making them angry and hung up on me I would deal with it .... and in what way depends very much on their track record and outburst history.

At the very least i'd be going over appropriate behaviour for work.

N.B. I've no idea what line of work this is or whether that's tolerated or expected. Could be the stock exchange for all I know ...

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

I work as a caretaker and people are so ignorant and stupid I get angry all the time.

Sometimes I let it be known other times since I hit the gym nearly every day and it has punchbag that's a help too.

Losing your cool under intense bullying like you have experienced isn't anything to be ashamed of. If anything it's healthy and maybe now he will back off a bit. If he dosnt report him to tour HR. Bullying in the the workplace is illegal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely yes let them know they have crossed the line, stand your ground in any situation, there’s a number of reasons why they are the way they are and you don’t need to accommodate that sort of behaviour in a work place, you and they are there during the work hours doing the job there’s no time for ego and office politics you are there to do the job, turn up execute and go home and while you are home you shouldn’t be having to think about work because you ain’t getting paid for it ….. ps when I said execute I meant carry out the job you are there for not you know bury him under the car park x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people you work with are not your friends.

its important to remember this.

you are there to earn money, nothing else.

i hope you are all well and have a good weekend

This is a very good point to remember and can be a supervisors nightmare when they are

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

"I’m very fiery but it takes awhile to get there.

If they keep poking the bear expect to get bitten.

Why not act the first time you are poked. If you don't it appears it's okay to poke you."

Maybe she likes a good poking ( ooooooooh matron)

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I work as a caretaker and people are so ignorant and stupid I get angry all the time.

Sometimes I let it be known other times since I hit the gym nearly every day and it has punchbag that's a help too.

Intense bullying ? shit.

The accusations start flying based on hardly anything don't they?

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By *ecky and justCouple
over a year ago

Godalming

Have to agree with one of the posters above.

I go to work to make money, not friends. I have enough of those to deal with outside of work.

The problem comes when you give a friend a job.

Someone I’ve known for over 30 years has been at my company for 2 years now, in a junior role and he struggles with separation between work and life.

I’ve had to officially discipline him recently and he’s struggling with the ‘me’ that is at work against the me he’s always known.

Red, blowing your top sometimes has to happen. Try to take something positive from it.

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

Chesterfield

"I would also say based on the original post this sounds like bullying and your HR or bosses should be made aware.

I would encourage you to “get in there first”.

It may feel like a dick move, but it’s about protecting yourself.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

O.P. I am glad you spoke up and I hope it makes him think.

Just protect yourself a little more and from the outset.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I don't know why but all through this thread I can hear 'Cheryl' on Rise and Fall saying what a good leader she is...

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By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

I’m usually very slow to show anger, I get angry , but I control it in certain situations. Put me in a football environment i get angry quickly. At work I am known as a diplomat. We once played a match against a customer. One of my colleagues was an idiot and punched one of the opponents I went absolutely mad at him and used very foul language. He complained to the senior management who refused to believe that I would do such a thing.

So I admitted it. They were so flabbergasted they let me off.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"people you work with are not your friends.

its important to remember this.

you are there to earn money, nothing else.

i hope you are all well and have a good weekend

I know it's not the point of this thread, so apologies to the OP for the derailing, but I don't wholly agree with this.

The majority of people are just colleagues for sure (but you should still want to get along with colleagues, by and large - you're spending enough time with them!), but I've also met some of my best friends through work - admittedly I work in a large organisation, so it's not claustrophobic and may be different to smaller places.

I also don't just go to work to earn money; if that were the only factor, I'd have done something more lucrative! But I agree on the good weekend part!

Now, as you were...

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

I agree with both of you but 'beware' is what i'd say.

They are NOT your friends they are colleagues you get on with.

One or two maybe you could trust but most would drop you sooner than support you. They'll uhm and ahh and make the right noises but any action that calls for courage and honesty and off they will fuck and leave you to it.

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"I agree with both of you but 'beware' is what i'd say.

They are NOT your friends they are colleagues you get on with.

Not in my case. I've known some of them for 15+ years now, and they're definitely friends, and we see each other more outside work than in. I've never actually worked in the same team as some of them, so we're not competing etc, but I see what you're saying if you were.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I very rarely lose my temper. It takes a great deal to make me angry too.

The last time I lost my temper was a few years ago.

There's a cyclist well known for deliberately obstructing car drivers on a certain stretch of very wide road near here which leads to parking. He then follows them and accuses them of obstructing him and driving dangerously pointing to his helmet cam as evidence. He did this to us while Mr N was driving. Mr N was calmly explaining that it was actually the cyclist who has swerved and weaved in front of him and that he had carefully and deliberately avoided him. I stayed in the car until the cycliidt began to insult Mr N personally on his appearance and heritage. I was out of that car quicker than you can say green cross code and giving helmet cam man a piece of my mind. I remember hearing Mr N say

"You've done it now, you've made her angry"

. The guy cycled off lol.

A couple of weeks later we saw the same bloke in an altercation with a young man, he was threatening him with all sorts. The young man simply said

"Go right ahead, I don't care"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree with both of you but 'beware' is what i'd say.

They are NOT your friends they are colleagues you get on with.

Agreed, I don't have to be friends with someone to 'get along with them' I don't even have to like someone I work with yet I can still respond appropriately and respect them.....it's a pain in the arse dealing with in work friendships, especially when they try and book annual leave the same time and getting distracted with work when organising their private life.

As for spending time with colleagues out of work, fuck that! I spend too much time with them in work, and the only reason I am going tonight is because I actually do like the girl who's Birthday it is.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"I was out of that car quicker than you can say green cross code and giving helmet cam man a piece of my mind. I remember hearing Mr N say

"You've done it now, you've made her angry"

. "

I love this!!! Best line ever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had someone at work recently explode at me over a small issue I raised with him and my boss. He had let it bubble over a few days and then came over and shouted at me over it. He misheard something I said to the boss on a separate day and thought it looked bad against him.

After he went back to his desk I collated evidence, went over and calmly explained how he misheard the conversation and that I *emphasis* do not *emphasis* let anybody speak to me like he just did. I made sure the boss was sat where he could listen too.

I didn't take it to heart because he was probably just having a bad day, and he was off ill the next day so I suppose him not feeling great played a big part too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

I dont lose my temper easily, have a long fuse for people...but take that as I'm a mug...

I'm taught I'm powerless over 3 things, people places and things...so I only have power over I react or respond to any given en situation..

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By *arktightsMan
over a year ago

banchory

I'm usually pretty cool, there's this woman at work who I've tried various ways to approach her,in a group and one to one.

It's nothing sinister just constructive criticism.

However yesterday she flew off the handle on the phone went into a rage and slammed phone down...rude!

I see what you did there ! LOL

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

People are human. Part of the human condition is emotion. As long as we dont burn any bridges people should be able to express themselves and yes at times make mistakes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sit on his face or offer too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sit on his face or offer too"

That’s what you do, is it?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"I had someone at work recently explode at me over a small issue I raised with him and my boss. He had let it bubble over a few days and then came over and shouted at me over it. He misheard something I said to the boss on a separate day and thought it looked bad against him.

I didn't take it to heart because he was probably just having a bad day, and he was off ill the next day so I suppose him not feeling great played a big part too.

Does *emphasis* mean fucking ? as in I don't fucking let anyone fucking speak to me like that ?

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Sit on his face or offer too"

Wow. I barely know where to start with this one. I hope it’s a poor joke

Unless you think that’s how women should resolve conflict? The only thing they bring in a professional environment?

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

King's Crustacean

"Sit on his face or offer too"

Why would you sit on your bosses face ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sit on his face or offer too

Why would you sit on your bosses face ? "

I had a boss I once did this with, ah fun times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't take it to heart because he was probably just having a bad day, and he was off ill the next day so I suppose him not feeling great played a big part too.

You make a great point how we feel having an impact on behaviour....Again this is another reason I remain level headed yet assertive, you just don't know what is happening, I am a great believer in reactions being in response to something else happening in their life. This is where being a good communicator comes in along with compassion and understanding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sit on his face or offer too"

April fools haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

Have you felt to say sorry for your actions??

To whom was on the recieving end of your tirad and barrage of words.

The state of minds & hearts in the world at large is at an all time high full of anger!

Non regulated because of all the stress around us, the energy field is nagative atm.

And on here too!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't take it to heart because he was probably just having a bad day, and he was off ill the next day so I suppose him not feeling great played a big part too.

Observe not obsorbe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't take it to heart because he was probably just having a bad day, and he was off ill the next day so I suppose him not feeling great played a big part too.

Observe not obsorbe. "

Absolutely, observe looking beyond the words and actions

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I may or may not also been known for explosive reactions... Sometimes like your example, it's after a long time of being wound up, other times it's just an instant flash... That red mist is unpredictable.

My son, even at 20, still flinches when he hears me go off on one

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

I wake up happy, I start each day with a contented smile - and I await the next bugger determined to ruin my day and incur my wrath for their often arrogant and inconsiderate attitude which seems to pervade our nation.

That said I do try, not always successfully, to not attribute to malice that which can be explained by ignorance or stupidity - but easy it ain't at times!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I didn't take it to heart because he was probably just having a bad day, and he was off ill the next day so I suppose him not feeling great played a big part too.

Does *emphasis* mean fucking ? as in I don't fucking let anyone fucking speak to me like that ?"

Surprisingly, no

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I was out of that car quicker than you can say green cross code and giving helmet cam man a piece of my mind. I remember hearing Mr N say

"You've done it now, you've made her angry"

I love this!!! Best line ever

He knows that I don't get angry easily let alone lose it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

Have you felt to say sorry for your actions??

To whom was on the recieving end of your tirad and barrage of words.

The state of minds & hearts in the world at large is at an all time high full of anger!

Non regulated because of all the stress around us, the energy field is nagative atm.

And on here too!! "

I’d really rather not continue laying bear all the ins and outs of who I am and what I did. I was more focused on hearing about other peoples characters and anecdotes. But thanks for contributing.

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By *partharmonyCouple
over a year ago

Ruislip

Hannah will completely lose her shit at people. It takes a hell of a lot over a long period to get me to stop being outwardly calm but it very occasionally it happens. Luke

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

In this example I would assume he was doing it on purpose to piss me off and make it look like I was an angry person and he had done nothing wrong. Lots of little 'irrelevant' things that he could claim was nothing, but add up to something.

I'd be wary the next time I see him. People like often know exactly what they're doing. Now he's lit the fuse he's more likely to continue.

'Grey rock' technique when around him.

I also agree with Granny about the colleagues being vultures. They want a soap opera bust up to watch. They're not supportive, they are stirring.

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By *eorge1949Man
over a year ago

BroadwayWR11

I find it better never to swear at people, always give the impression that you have lost it, whilst all the while staying cool and maintaining the upper hand of righteous indignation that can turn a controntation into entertainment for me!

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

I’m very very difficult to get a reaction out of and it takes a fucking hell of a lot to push my buttons but it does happen on occasion.

After days of goading from a teammate about a family member of mine he finally got frustrated with my flippant attitude at his taunting he took two big shots at me outside a local pub which I casually avoided, grabbed him by the shirt collar and gave him what I’d considered a warning shot.

I was left holding the shirt as he slipped out of it with all the dignity of the coward he was. The laughter and applause from the gathered crowd was only made more satisfying by the text messages and phone calls he proceeded to make when he’d regained consciousness with grovelling apologies. We buried the hatchet that night and he took me out for breakfast the next morning.

Bullies are all cowards in my experiences when met with someone they can’t bully.

It’s usually down to jealousy.

Call this guy out in front of a room full of colleagues and he’ll crawl back into his shell red.

Don’t continue to take it as it’ll only continue until you really lose your shit

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

trouble is people you work with make shit up.

they do this to get an edge and test you.

which is why you shouldnt add them to facebook or any other media which can give away information about you.

you may think thats a bit paranoid but people take offence to the littlest thing , become jealous and you will be judged on that often unfairly by the mob.

as for bullying men and women are different.

women tend to gossip, backstabbing and destroy character by innuendo to pull others towards them and away from you this includes management.

men punch each other. different beasts both capable of great harm.

at the first sign of any bullying or inappropriate behaviour you must take them on. they will find another target if they know you bring them pain.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, I've sent you an email about this - I wasn't overly keen on sharing too much info publicly on here so excuse the intrusion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel for you OP.

I've had two bosses in the past while I was agency staff that were horrid.

One I couldn't lose my temper at all as I would have most definitely come off looking the arsehole. A college turned to me and said I don't know how you cope with her the second we walked out for lunch break.

The second had a repution for it and I called the agency. That went wrong. That boss had instructed me to sit facing my screen at all times and tell anyone that spoke to me that I couldn't speak to them till break time or put of work hours. She denied it to the agency.

I used to be quite firey and speak my mind. But in the last few years I've learned that it's fruitless and I can't be arsed. I simply can't be bothered with the confrontation and don't like it. I've let so many things slide as Ive known in that moment that saying anything is pointless. because of who they are and their level of perception or complete lack of ability to actually talk it through. I just walk instead and stay pretty silent.

I'll phone a friend and rant about how much of an arsehole that person is instead. And she's pretty good at making me laugh about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Generally I have the patience of a saint, having kids and being a manager by profession requires it in buckets. I didn't even lose it with my ex wife's cheaty boyfriend that I had to work with for three months after discovering their affair.

My turbulent approach to inanimate objects is almost legendary though

I take my frustrations out in quite a big and vocal way on random items that piss me off in a true Basil Fawlty way. I've been known to take a hammer to a nut that wouldn't come off and bludgeon it until it doesn't even resemble a nut anymore and stomp off shouting "that fucking showed you ya cunt"

Having to then cut said nut off with an angle grinder and replace the bolt or stud usually results in Mr sheepish visiting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Generally I have the patience of a saint, having kids and being a manager by profession requires it in buckets. I didn't even lose it with my ex wife's cheaty boyfriend that I had to work with for three months after discovering their affair.

My turbulent approach to inanimate objects is almost legendary though

Having to then cut said nut off with an angle grinder and replace the bolt or stud usually results in Mr sheepish visiting."

This is so me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

Have you felt to say sorry for your actions??

To whom was on the recieving end of your tirad and barrage of words.

The state of minds & hearts in the world at large is at an all time high full of anger!

Non regulated because of all the stress around us, the energy field is nagative atm.

And on here too!!

I’d really rather not continue laying bear all the ins and outs of who I am and what I did. I was more focused on hearing about other peoples characters and anecdotes. But thanks for contributing."

What really matters!

" peace cannot be bought "

All will go back un the Box.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's very context depending for me. I can have an extremely short fuse when someone tries to take me for an idiot or it involves someone I love being hurt. General stuff, I might walk off calling someone an arsehole or rant to a friend instead.

I don't take shit at work, I'll deal with it there and then if possible or report higher up if warranted. I'm there to do a job, not make friends.

Pxx

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By *lex.and.SexCouple
over a year ago

Bedale

It's rare for me to lose my temper, and in my job I'm given plenty of opportunities.

Usually as far as I go is to put on my bigger Brian Blessed voice and express my displeasure in a very direct way. But I almost never shout.

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By *ommyTighMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Keyboard warriors make me lose my cool. If you’ve something to say, say it. When I get a rude/sarcastic/obnoxious message I don’t reply by message but I do:

- call them out across the desks

- call them and have it out

I know it’s not cool but I don’t tolerate abuse/rudeness in message format!!!

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

I tend to use a methodical approach - whats behind the behaviour? If there’s no ‘excuse’ and they are trying to undermine me then I’ll deal with that but in a professional way because losing my temper will affect my reputation which might be what the goal is… often it’s covering for a deficiency in them - so they throw shit your way - everyone is focused on you while they slip out the side door!! It’s incredibly difficult to keep your temper when sometimes people seem to be deliberately pushing your buttons xx

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

"
. My manager between November 2015 to November 2021 I never got on with I felt she belittled a job role that I did on her team 2 hours a day the work I did for her in the 2 hour job role was never really appreciated , respected, or understood. At team meetings it was never mentioned what I did and I felt that I did not belong to the team so when I started refusing to attend Christmas team meals and didn’t participate in team bonding exercises things had started to buildup.In February 2021 I received a phone call from her saying I could be helping out with other things in the 2 hour role I snapped and told her that I don’t feel mentally well and I am going home. I returned 6 days later but things never really improved when she pushed to reduce my 2 hour role to 1 hour and 25 minutes I sent her a email asking to come of the 2 hour role.At the meeting it was a case of I think you are the best person for the job but you don’t needs two hours.November 2021 I was moved to another team with a different manager but I was to continue with the 2 hour role for 2 hours as the office manager said there is no one else with my knowledge and experience in doing the role.By April 2022 I had a health issue and I refused to take back the 2 hour role.In July 2022 I handed over all responsibility to someone the office manager chose.My previous manager has since told me she misses me and she said she was not aware about my health issues which as far as I am concerned is crap.Now a days when I see her I don’t good morning , good afternoon, good night unless she says it first.Apologies if I have taken over your post

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Sit on his face or offer too

Why would you sit on your bosses face ? "

No chairs free?

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"This week, at work, I lost my cool with a colleague. I’m not proud of it.

I have passion, and opinions, but I am usually able to control my emotions, so this has bothered me greatly.

However! My question to you, is - do you lose your temper easily? Or are you completely unruffled? Do you have any examples for me?

. My manager between November 2015 to November 2021 I never got on with I felt she belittled a job role that I did on her team 2 hours a day the work I did for her in the 2 hour job role was never really appreciated , respected, or understood. At team meetings it was never mentioned what I did and I felt that I did not belong to the team so when I started refusing to attend Christmas team meals and didn’t participate in team bonding exercises things had started to buildup.In February 2021 I received a phone call from her saying I could be helping out with other things in the 2 hour role I snapped and told her that I don’t feel mentally well and I am going home. I returned 6 days later but things never really improved when she pushed to reduce my 2 hour role to 1 hour and 25 minutes I sent her a email asking to come of the 2 hour role.At the meeting it was a case of I think you are the best person for the job but you don’t needs two hours.November 2021 I was moved to another team with a different manager but I was to continue with the 2 hour role for 2 hours as the office manager said there is no one else with my knowledge and experience in doing the role.By April 2022 I had a health issue and I refused to take back the 2 hour role.In July 2022 I handed over all responsibility to someone the office manager chose.My previous manager has since told me she misses me and she said she was not aware about my health issues which as far as I am concerned is crap.Now a days when I see her I don’t good morning , good afternoon, good night unless she says it first.Apologies if I have taken over your post"

She’s a shite manager… end of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do get angry but it can sometimes take a while or a lot to get me to that point.

I have a horrible habit of crying when I'm angry which makes it hard to look credible in an argument

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

If it's over the phone I'd listen to everything they have to say then ask if they're finished and hang up never lower the standards as someone else

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

sounds like the a-hole deserves to be taken down a peg or two, good for you.

I will always speak my mind, like it or not.

Too old for walking on egg shells now.

But I wouldn't say I live in a state of anger... just short fuse.

I try to be full assertive (I'm OK you are ok) and beg to differ without the other person being an idiot, it's the emotionally mature way to go...

but some just press my last nerve.

Then watch out.

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I do get angry but it can sometimes take a while or a lot to get me to that point.

I have a horrible habit of crying when I'm angry which makes it hard to look credible in an argument "

Thats not uncommon- lots of people cry with anger…. And orgasms… so it might be a tricky one to call

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Err, yes I can get angry, probably more frustrated with people actually. I'd say you'd know if I was angry but it wouldn't lead to me yelling at people. Just being very curt and short with people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do get angry but it can sometimes take a while or a lot to get me to that point.

I have a horrible habit of crying when I'm angry which makes it hard to look credible in an argument

Thats not uncommon- lots of people cry with anger…. And orgasms… so it might be a tricky one to call

Yes I've had some emotional orgasms too !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"trouble is people you work with make shit up.

they do this to get an edge and test you.

which is why you shouldnt add them to facebook or any other media which can give away information about you.

you may think thats a bit paranoid but people take offence to the littlest thing , become jealous and you will be judged on that often unfairly by the mob.

as for bullying men and women are different.

women tend to gossip, backstabbing and destroy character by innuendo to pull others towards them and away from you this includes management.

men punch each other. different beasts both capable of great harm.

at the first sign of any bullying or inappropriate behaviour you must take them on. they will find another target if they know you bring them pain.

Thing is, this is actually what some people actually do. It's so fucked up. I mean, why give that much of a shit what other people are doing? Just do your job and fuck off at the end of the day...all this twisted nonsense baffles me..but there's no avoiding it! We all get dragged in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please don't let this thread end on my angry rant...its too ironic.

Someone say something nice and fluffy.

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

Think fluffy bunny rabbits jumping with joy in a field of beautiful butterflies in the sky on a hot summers day

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

We have a saying in the kitchen..

Whatever is said during service is over at 10pm

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Please don't let this thread end on my angry rant...its too ironic.

Someone say something nice and fluffy. "

It's nearly Easter, so chocolate is on its way...

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

[Removed by poster at 01/04/23 15:17:06]

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Please don't let this thread end on my angry rant...its too ironic.

Someone say something nice and fluffy. "

Something nice and fluffy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/04/23 15:25:02]

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton

"sounds like the a-hole deserves to be taken down a peg or two, good for you.

I will always speak my mind, like it or not.

Too old for walking on egg shells now.

But I wouldn't say I live in a state of anger... just short fuse.

I try to be full assertive (I'm OK you are ok) and beg to differ without the other person being an idiot, it's the emotionally mature way to go...

but some just press my last nerve.

Then watch out.

"
. One of the accusations that some of my managers have levelled at me is that I am aggressive when I feel that I am been assertive in the end I just find it easier not to talk to them unless I have to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty chill. I rarely lose my temper and never raise my voice...

MrWho.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

Majority of the time I'm calm, on the surface at least. More often than not internally I'm fairly calm too. Sometimes I'll be containing some rage.

However a few times in my life I've lost my cool and flipped. Usually it's after constant or repeated incidents. I can't recall ever having raged from a single incident, but I can't be sure without really thinking if I have.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

I am get angry quite quickly, but never show it for a while. So it looks like I go from 0 to 100000 in a second, but that is not the case.

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