FabSwingers.com forum: Men mental health

By *burns7 OP Man
over a year ago

walsall

Needs to be taken more serious, using this thread for chatting (women can chat too just don’t be horrible)

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

I agree it does

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

https://youtu.be/EdIYws6-Uhk

This tells you a lot about men's experience I think.

I also like the quote "that most middle aged men live a life of quiet desperation".

I'm sure other groups have the same issues but I do feel that mens mental health gets forgotten a bit.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Suicide rates of men is triple that of women every year

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By *wiggy2112Woman
over a year ago

some where in Yorkshire

There's a group called...Andy mans club....there are groups being held over UK it was set up for men struggling with mental health.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm hoping you'll see, as much as there's laughter and jokes, there's supportive people too that do reach out xx

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By *burns7 OP Man
over a year ago

walsall

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma."

Men crying still looks like a weakness, should be able to cry and not be frown on, I stand by what you said as well

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma."

This too...

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By *dinson1983Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"There's a group called...Andy mans club....there are groups being held over UK it was set up for men struggling with mental health."

I've done charity work for these they are amazing.. Thank you for seeing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem is that "men shouldn't suffer with it" or "they're weak if they admit it"

the reality is that so many do. The stigma needs to be broken across the board! If only it was a physical condition, then no one would question it and there would be no stigma! Speak up guys, it's nothing to be ashamed of!

Mrs x

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By *dinson1983Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I'm hoping you'll see, as much as there's laughter and jokes, there's supportive people too that do reach out xx"

Yes!!!

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By *dinson1983Man
over a year ago

Wakefield

"The problem is that "men shouldn't suffer with it" or "they're weak if they admit it"

Mrs x"

Amen!!!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma.

Men crying still looks like a weakness, should be able to cry and not be frown on, I stand by what you said as well"

This is my point. Men crying isn't a weakness and shouldn't be seen as that.

If men weren't meant to cry, they wouldn't have tear ducts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma."

This!!

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

"Suicide rates of men is triple that of women every year"

Yep, women talk about it first or look for help. Men don't say anything and just do it...we need to stop doing that and talk to someone, anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma.

Men crying still looks like a weakness, should be able to cry and not be frown on, I stand by what you said as well

This is my point. Men crying isn't a weakness and shouldn't be seen as that.

If men weren't meant to cry, they wouldn't have tear ducts."

If only it was that simple

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma."

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By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

"The problem is that "men shouldn't suffer with it" or "they're weak if they admit it"

Mrs x"

Mine is intrinsically linked to a physical health issue, which doesn't help. Oddly though there's a lot less support for the mental health side of things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The problem is that "men shouldn't suffer with it" or "they're weak if they admit it"

Mrs x

Mine is intrinsically linked to a physical health issue, which doesn't help. Oddly though there's a lot less support for the mental health side of things

I totally get what you mean x

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think that society as a whole still has the ridiculous idea that men shouldn't have mental health problems.

Men are people too. And everyone should be able to care for their mental health without feeling bad, or weird, or anything else negative about it.

Struggling is hard enough without a cruel stigma.

Men crying still looks like a weakness, should be able to cry and not be frown on, I stand by what you said as well

This is my point. Men crying isn't a weakness and shouldn't be seen as that.

If men weren't meant to cry, they wouldn't have tear ducts.

If only it was that simple"

If only it was. It should be though.

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By *ob and DeeWoman
over a year ago

crook

my son was bullied by a man he worked for in he's last job. The brute made my son that ill he had to go to the doctors for anti-depressants.my son stopped me going to the workplace to confront this horrible man. He's business was shut down because he had bullied other people working for him. He got what he deserved.

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By *burns7 OP Man
over a year ago

walsall

"my son was bullied by a man he worked for in he's last job. The brute made my son that ill he had to go to the doctors for anti-depressants.my son stopped me going to the workplace to confront this horrible man. He's business was shut down because he had bullied other people working for him. He got what he deserved."

I don’t seek violence but bullying gets me wound up if I ever witness it

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By *ob and DeeWoman
over a year ago

crook

he goes to a male mental health group and it helps him.

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By *immyg88Man
over a year ago

Donostia

Oooosh. I’ve massively struggled with this personally. There is just so much stigma about men’s mental health it’s insane. But maybe it’s a little late for me to go in deep now. But I’ll save it and come back tomorrow. Good topic

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

"Needs to be taken more serious, using this thread for chatting (women can chat too just don’t be horrible)"

A million percent it does xx

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

I don’t seek violence but bullying gets me wound up if I ever witness it"

I'm the exact same and had it happen to me recently as in earlier today recently by my own relative. They will know they can not do it anymore or else they will have 999 on them its disgusting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I believe men try there best to stay strong. Men do not want there family or partners to get upset or feel hurt as most men have grown up to put women children and family first. And don't want to show there weekness. They hide there pain for so long and it's build up to the point where they don't realise how much it's killing them untill it's to late.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve struggled with my mental health since I was 15, it’s getting worse and over the last 6 years have attempted 3

Times to end my life, there isn’t a lot of

Help available, and the help that is there has a long waiting list. Drs generally have been a waste of time, on and off different medication every few months or

So. Currently at the worst I’ve ever been and can’t see me seeing out the year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Needs to be taken more serious, using this thread for chatting (women can chat too just don’t be horrible)"
no need to tell us not to be horrible. I deal with a combat veteran with multiple tours. The perception of what a man should be is skewed. He tries to " man up". But in private sometimes his heart aches with choices and weeps. So I would rather the heart then the the constant bravado. Being human is not horrible no matter your gender.

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By *REEPALESTINEMan
over a year ago

derby

Man up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man up "
sit down

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

We still hear the messages - almost daily - to "be a man," "grow a pair," and "man up."

These are deeply toxic and directly related to poor male mental health and s**cide.

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By *rGuyMan
over a year ago

Croydon

"Man up sit down

Well said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We still hear the messages - almost daily - to "be a man," "grow a pair," and "man up."

These are deeply toxic and directly related to poor male mental health and s**cide. "
I agree he experienced things some men can not fathom.yet in private he is a teddy bear. It is toxic. I want him to be normalized but. His machismo gets in the way in a public stetting. Public perception means the world to him. Strength honor justice. It's a constant battle for me to convince otherwise. He has a heart but doesn't show it. Why ?

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

Actually just posted about similar

Been a hard week and still can’t quite believe it

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

"I’ve struggled with my mental health since I was 15, it’s getting worse and over the last 6 years have attempted 3

Times to end my life, there isn’t a lot of

Help available, and the help that is there has a long waiting list. Drs generally have been a waste of time, on and off different medication every few months or

So. Currently at the worst I’ve ever been and can’t see me seeing out the year "

Took me till I was 34 to finally say I can’t stop taking the medication and I’ll be on it for life, also knowing that I can only take SNRI as SSRI have the opposite effect on me and make me worse and suicidal

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

I am on the sick with depression,

I hate it! Hence I am on here at silly o'clock in the morning.

I am on anti depressants but feel they make me more depressed. Thinking of stopping taking them myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am on the sick with depression,

I hate it! Hence I am on here at silly o'clock in the morning.

I am on anti depressants but feel they make me more depressed. Thinking of stopping taking them myself."

Give it a g fella..

A friend of mine was on them for a couple of years & kept saying that he thought they weren’t doing anything..

He stopped them & now he is back to his old self..

Goes out enjoying life & is holding down a job plus a relationship..

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I am on the sick with depression,

I hate it! Hence I am on here at silly o'clock in the morning.

I am on anti depressants but feel they make me more depressed. Thinking of stopping taking them myself."

If that's a decision you want to make, I would recommend doing it with your GP's knowledge.

Depending how long you've been on them, suddenly stopping anti-depressants (especially SSRI) can bring on a worsened state of depression.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, massive respect for making a post in regards of Men’s Mental Health.

I did a post yesterday, in regards of addiction. As I’m coming up to five year’s sobriety. And the outpouring of support from everyone was nothing short of beautiful.

But unfortunately, we live in a society where if you are a male and you cry. You are classed as a b*tch, personally for me.. Cry, it’s natural. We all go through our own struggles minute by minute.

Don’t ever be ashamed to speak out about it OP, respect brother

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A person's mental health..wether male or female..is so important..and this place can ..and does.. effect it in the very simple way of a thing called rejection, a person may not feel the same way towards another person so hence the rejection..so please DO NOT let this joint affect your mental well being whatsoever,to everyone that has mental health issues ..and we all worry..fret ..think ..about whatever issues they are ..do what you love doing ..if it's going for a walk . watching your favourite movie ..team ... listening to your favourite music.. whatever..just do it .. whatever simple thing makes you feel good or enjoy doing ..find your happiness in the small things cause they're really the big things ... surround yourself with people that enhance your life .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Morning all and positive vibes for the day

just going to add a couple of helpful resources for anyone in need

Helplines

Call Samaritans 116123

Text Shout 85258

Mind.org.uk has a link for ways to help yourself in a mental health crisis.

Also, ArtyIan on here has a fabulous website that has some really good pieces on different aspects of men’s mental health, along with support suggestions. I strongly suggest anyone interested drops him a dm to get the link

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I feel there is support for men out there. The problem is accessing it or admitting you are struggling.

Something I've noticed is men being conditioned to squash or ignore feelings from a young age so it becomes the norm and 'numbing' them. Eventually they come out and thats when issues can arise as we don't know how to control them or they become overwhelming. Anyone needing to reach out, feel free to pm. No judgement here.

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By *hyntravCouple
over a year ago

North Somerset

My husband is doing a half marathon and raising funds for MIND. Not specifically a mens mental health charity but he's using this platform to put up regular posts about his own struggles. It's amazing how many men respond with similar issues or have messaged him privately.

This is a massive issue that has started to be talked about more but has a long way to go.

Services and help need vast improvement for all areas of mental health unfortunately.

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By *lbie6Man
over a year ago

glasgow

I struggle alot feel lonely can't get meets on this either but can't get the right support

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By *wisted999Man
over a year ago

North Bucks

To the Men

Keep going inbox always open!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is a massive struggle to sometimes keep going,I have cptsd anxiety, get so ashamed and embarrassed on the outside 6ft2 big build inside like a child about to break into tears getting some help but find ot very hard x

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By *uicy 2020Woman
over a year ago

London

Sending so much love and support to all struggling x

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

My filters are open if anyone wants the link to my website

I add stuff regularly about many aspects of mental health and self help

Today it’s 7 years since a very good friend left us far to early

So I’m doing a post about that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Completely agree with this thread. It's difficult for men to admit that they are struggling because we're told from childhood to be strong, to not express emotions, to never need help. Then you reach a point of having to decide whether to keep trying to live up to that while it makes you miserable, or to admit it's unrealistic and get the help that might make life feel like it's worth living again. Written down like this it looks an easy decision, but years of socialisation actually make it a really difficult one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Man up "

Grow up

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"Man up

Grow up"

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By *ummerfield94Man
over a year ago

falkirk

I hate the fact that it's anticipated and some people try and teach

" Real men don't cry "

" Grow up and be the man of the house everyone is counting on you "

I know I struggled for a while and getting in a good place again and since going through it especially men in my work I encourage them to talk to anyone.

It's a problem all round but massively hidden for men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Without saying to much because of my anonymity I work in.mental health and specifically with men.

They always say they wish they had been able to open up sooner.

Great thread. I am ten years into recovery for addiction and awareness really helps.

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By *ackooo1988Man
over a year ago

High Wycombe

"Without saying to much because of my anonymity I work in.mental health and specifically with men.

They always say they wish they had been able to open up sooner.

Great thread. I am ten years into recovery for addiction and awareness really helps."

Totally agree with you. I suffered with deep depression and anxiety and still am battling to date. I have always said I wish I accepted I wasn't in a good place. Instead I convinced myself I would be fine and just got on with it. Then like a pressure cooker I exploded and had a complete breakdown

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

I have over 70 posts on my website from depression, to antidepressants and meditation, lots of simple and practical self help things as well as my story around mental health, I am a trained personal development coach and hold diplomas and qualifications in talking therapies.

Please never suffer in silence, my inbox is always open

Drop me a DM for a link to the site can't post it here as I will be on the naughty step

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By *oShrinkingVioletWoman
over a year ago

the land of unicorns and fairytales

I saw something earlier online that made me think

Equality for women, feminism lower for women

Ukraine war !! Send all the women to safety send all the men (and young boys) out to war !!

Society still has very different views as to how men should be treated in the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wake up every morning with my head up in a daze

I'm not sure if I should say this, fuck, I'll say it anyway

Everybody tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase

I don't know if it's a phase, I just wanna feel okay, yeah

I battle with depression, but the question still remains

Is this post-traumatic stressing or am I suppressing rage?

And my doctor tries to tell me that I'm going through a phase

Yeah, it's not a fucking phase, I just wanna feel okay, okay?

Yeah, I struggle with this bullshit every day

And it's probably 'cause my demons simultaneously rage

It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me

'Cause I'm about to break down, I'm searching for a way out

I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer

I'm a popular, popular monster

I break down, falling into love now with falling apart

I'm a popular, popular monster

I think I'm going nowhere like a rat trapped in a maze

Every wall that I knock down is just a wall that I replace

I'm in a race against myself, I try to keep a steady pace

How the fuck will I escape if I never close my case?

Oh my God, I keep on stressing, every second that I waste

Is another second sooner to a blessing I won't take

But my therapist will tell me that I'm going through a stage

Yeah, it's not a fucking stage, I just wanna feel okay, okay

Motherfucker, now you got my attention

I need to change a couple things 'cause something is missing

And what if I were to lie? Tell you everything is fine

Every single fucking day I get closer to the grave, I am terrified

I fell asleep at the wheel again

Crashed my car just to feel again

It obliterates me, disintegrates me, annihilates me

'Cause I'm about to break down, I'm searching for a way out

I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer

I'm a popular, popular monster

I break down, falling into love now with falling apart

I'm a popular, popular fucking monster

Yeah, here we go again, motherfucker, oh

We're sick and tired of wondering

Praying to a god that you don't believe

We're searching for the truth in the lost and found

So the question I ask is

Oh, where the fuck is your god now?

'Cause I'm about to break down, I'm searching for a way out

I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer

I'm a popular, popular monster

I break down, falling into love now with falling apart

I'm not a popular, popular monster

I'm a liar, I'm a cheater, I'm a non-believer

I'm a popular, popular monster

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumping this thread

As I've just had a heartbreaking phonecall with my dad where he opened up and that's never happened. It's difficult as they live in another country and through health reasons my mum can't travel. I knew it was hard for him too

But he just actually said the words.

My dad is a man brought up to not talk, not to let other people know his emotions or better yet, just don't have them. If i feel emotional i cant imagine how he feels right now. But he talked, out loud. I hope it continues.

So yep bump

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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago

The dot in the i

Just dropping this in the thread incase it could be useful to anyone struggling to find help

You can self study for free, the site is MIT ocw, it’s MIT as in the university in America, they put the majority of their courses online for free for anyone just without the certificate

I just typed mental health into the courses search bar and it returned 1167 results. It could give you answers or peace of mind maybe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We still hear the messages - almost daily - to "be a man," "grow a pair," and "man up."

These are deeply toxic and directly related to poor male mental health and s**cide. I agree he experienced things some men can not fathom.yet in private he is a teddy bear. It is toxic. I want him to be normalized but. His machismo gets in the way in a public stetting. Public perception means the world to him. Strength honor justice. It's a constant battle for me to convince otherwise. He has a heart but doesn't show it. Why ?"

Sharing his experiences with those that have gone through the same thing might help, as they will understand exactly where he's coming from and how he is feeling.

Are there not any veteran self-help groups available to you?

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