FabSwingers.com forum: Women and couples looking for men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

I always go looking. To me, sitting around waiting for people to mail you is like going into Tesco with an empty trolley and a sign saying you want shopping.... Then complaining when people puts stuff in your trolley that you don't want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

Good analogy!

The majority of the meets i've had this year have been the result of recieving messages rather than sending them - so it does happen!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes we do, aside from people contacting us, if we want a meet and to meet someone new, I will go looking.

Also post meet requests and see what comes in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do chuckle when I see the not looking for single guys comment, we will find you if we want you. I imagine very few go actively looking

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By *andS4funCouple
over a year ago

Lancashire

Yeah we are looking for a man but we are very very picky when it comes to this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If i see something i like i take it by the horns ... Not shy about contacting anyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit i never did, tho i have started to, well i say started i send one guy a message first that i liked the look of, usually i just reply to men who mail me if im interested in them, but at the weekend i saw a profile that i liked the look of so i bit the bullet and mailed him first, thats the first time ive ever done that in all the years ive been doing this

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

"
Ive been saying precisely this for ages, look at threads from women whinging when there is a solution, when i was a single female on here all my meets were people i had messaged in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to but saw a pattern emerging, most of the men I contacted either stood me up or messes me around in some way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to but saw a pattern emerging, most of the men I contacted either stood me up or messes me around in some way

Sounds bad luck - but would that be any more unlikely if you waited to be contacted?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to but saw a pattern emerging, most of the men I contacted either stood me up or messes me around in some way

Sounds bad luck - but would that be any more unlikely if you waited to be contacted? "

it could, sometimes guys get so excited at actually getting a offer they say yes to anything, then when its sunk in they realise they dont want to meet you after all

If a guy mails you first hes thought about it before mailing you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In theory Yes I want to,

In practice I have so much candy on my friends list and hotlist that no,

I use the time on the forums instead

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If i see something i like i take it by the horns ... Not shy about contacting anyone"

Mmmmmm.... feisty

Like that

Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I used to but saw a pattern emerging, most of the men I contacted either stood me up or messes me around in some way

Sounds bad luck - but would that be any more unlikely if you waited to be contacted?

it could, sometimes guys get so excited at actually getting a offer they say yes to anything, then when its sunk in they realise they dont want to meet you after all

If a guy mails you first hes thought about it before mailing you

And possibly a hundred others at the same time? With the same message?

Don't get me wrong - niether method is foolproof but i'd guess the risks of a no show are as high with either, unless you've applied the same common sense approach to both?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To answer the OP (and her brilliant trolley analogy!), we now go on the hunt, sorry, browse for what we want, not wait for what comes to us. With a very few exceptions, most of those who approach us aren't, we discover after many messages, what we're looking for.

It's even worse on some other sites where they pick the potential 'matches' for you - now that's one step on from the trolley analogy. That's more like on-line shopping where you order bananas and get sent apples. Like, you can make an Apple Split can you????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To answer the OP (and her brilliant trolley analogy!), we now go on the hunt, sorry, browse for what we want, not wait for what comes to us. With a very few exceptions, most of those who approach us aren't, we discover after many messages, what we're looking for.

Hit it with an axe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If i see something i like i take it by the horns ... Not shy about contacting anyone

Mmmmmm.... feisty

Like that

Lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails? "

That's what I do.

Just putting my trolley away....

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails?

That's what I do.

Just putting my trolley away.... "

Can I have your trolley please, only got 2 50ps

I love your way with words Madam Scarlet, but I do admit when I was looking I wasnt very confident/comfortable messaging a man as I was too concerned and soft about being knocked back.

If I ever get properly back on the swinging horse I think I will be a lot braver* and more comfortable in my own skin.

(*nb dont know if braver is even a word. Sorry)

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By *aughtywifeandhimCouple
over a year ago

luton

We do and we have see our profile,not sure how many other couples do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we must be shopping in the supermarkets own value brand at the minute. Either that or the whoopsies. And our trolley has a wonky wheel.

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By *coobyroo218Couple
over a year ago

Guernsey

We get messages and will meet people from them if they fit our needs, more often than not they do not meet our needs.

If you want anything in this life you have to go get it, and its the same with this, if you want something specific then you need to go looking.

Had more meets by us doing the running than from messages sent to us.

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

"I think we must be shopping in the supermarkets own value brand at the minute. Either that or the whoopsies. And our trolley has a wonky wheel."

Cant beat the whoops aisle first thing of a morning

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I seem to have met nearly every single available man in the York area. Those I haven't met are the ones who either didn't respond when I messaged them, or did then the messages just tailed off.

I actually have more luck messaging guys who have caught my eye on the forums.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails?

That's what I do.

Just putting my trolley away....

Can I have your trolley please, only got 2 50ps

I love your way with words Madam Scarlet, but I do admit when I was looking I wasnt very confident/comfortable messaging a man as I was too concerned and soft about being knocked back.

If I ever get properly back on the swinging horse I think I will be a lot braver* and more comfortable in my own skin.

(*nb dont know if braver is even a word. Sorry)"

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most actual meets I've done, I messaged the guy or told him I would be interested in meeting in chat, same with couples. Some have come from them messaging me but not often coz I miss the messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes I wish I was asked more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails?

That's what I do.

Just putting my trolley away....

Can I have your trolley please, only got 2 50ps

I love your way with words Madam Scarlet, but I do admit when I was looking I wasnt very confident/comfortable messaging a man as I was too concerned and soft about being knocked back.

If I ever get properly back on the swinging horse I think I will be a lot braver* and more comfortable in my own skin.

(*nb dont know if braver is even a word. Sorry)

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails?

That's what I do.

Just putting my trolley away....

Can I have your trolley please, only got 2 50ps

I love your way with words Madam Scarlet, but I do admit when I was looking I wasnt very confident/comfortable messaging a man as I was too concerned and soft about being knocked back.

If I ever get properly back on the swinging horse I think I will be a lot braver* and more comfortable in my own skin.

(*nb dont know if braver is even a word. Sorry)

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ? "

My hair is the colour of fish batter.... Orange.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's obviously numerous threads from people who get pestered with mail from guys.

Why not ignore all those contacting you and select those that interest you ? Surely tgats more fun than trawling one liner e-mails?

That's what I do.

Just putting my trolley away....

Can I have your trolley please, only got 2 50ps

I love your way with words Madam Scarlet, but I do admit when I was looking I wasnt very confident/comfortable messaging a man as I was too concerned and soft about being knocked back.

If I ever get properly back on the swinging horse I think I will be a lot braver* and more comfortable in my own skin.

(*nb dont know if braver is even a word. Sorry)

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ?

My hair is the colour of fish batter.... Orange.

Lol ahh...as long as you don't smell of fish batter, orange hair is incredibly attractive

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By *els_BellsWoman
over a year ago

with the moon n stars somewhere in gtr manc

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ?

My hair is the colour of fish batter.... Orange.

Lol ahh...as long as you don't smell of fish batter, orange hair is incredibly attractive "

Madam Scarlett doesnt have hair the colour of fish batter! Well not on her head anyway

And she's lovely in person.

Btw loving the new pic Madam very sexy indeed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ?

My hair is the colour of fish batter.... Orange.

Lol ahh...as long as you don't smell of fish batter, orange hair is incredibly attractive

Madam Scarlett doesnt have hair the colour of fish batter! Well not on her head anyway

And she's lovely in person.

Btw loving the new pic Madam very sexy indeed

Mwah! You're gorgeouser!!

After reading the fanny batter thread I have to point out it's NOT what I mean about my hair!

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By *igerstyle2k2Man
over a year ago

Oxfordshire

It's nice to know some couples and ladies actively contact single guys on here. I'd like more of this, then again I'd like to meet more people from here! Haha!

I'd like more women to make the first approach in a bar as well (or where ever else), if you like someone why not go over and make the first move? What's the worst that could happen?

It's not 1857 where it was frowned upon to do so (I imagine), if you like someone go for it!

Happy swinging!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been on here for nearly 4 years, I have NEVER had an initial message from a lady!

So are Scots women on here lazy?

Hmmm.......maybe hard hat time??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we will message men nik likes the look of,easier that way.dont have to deasl with men there no chance she going to play with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do chuckle when I see the not looking for single guys comment, we will find you if we want you. I imagine very few go actively looking "

And when we are over fifty it seems our bits don't work so we're of no interest either, ho hum, on with the messaging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

Excellent analogy. A shame it'll go over most people's heads. 'Im too busy replying to go looking'.

all they gotta do is a local search and message those they ARE interested in instead of replying/deleting hundreds that they don't and then moaning about a lack of genuine meets or taking a number of bad ones in a row and then generalising ALL single guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a side note I might try that in a supermarket when it's busy. Seems a better idea than trying to get the trolley down packed aisles. Top idea!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We go looking and message.

This works for us because my OH works long hours and we find it difficult to arrange meets in advance.

Over the last few months our swinging time has reduced and we don't have the time or opportunity to. Most of the times it can be last minute

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get knocked back/ ignored all the time. Possibly my crap profile, possibly my face pic.

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ?

My hair is the colour of fish batter.... Orange.

Lol ahh...as long as you don't smell of fish batter, orange hair is incredibly attractive

Madam Scarlett doesnt have hair the colour of fish batter! Well not on her head anyway

And she's lovely in person.

Btw loving the new pic Madam very sexy indeed

Mwah! You're gorgeouser!!

After reading the fanny batter thread I have to point out it's NOT what I mean about my hair!

That's what I thought of when I read that! I have fish batter hair too x

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

or telling all and sundry,what you did want,and how much you loved it.

discretion is not the single guys strong point.not all but to many.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah we are looking for a man but we are very very picky when it comes to this"

Lets be honest, you have to say that, otherwise half the site would be on you like bees to honey, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I email about 5 people a month and maybe get one reply. Probably get 5 random guy messages incoming and 1 or two women.

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

I got a wink the other day and a few weeks back a reply to mail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

majority of meets iv had were self initiated! i just reply no thanks to those im not interested in and if i get on with a guy after emailing and sending face pics then i want to meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bet you don't get Manu 'no' with a bottom like that !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bet you don't get Manu 'no' with a bottom like that !"

you should see my face.. like an angel hahaha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a go now and then. Doesn't seem to be many blokes round here, or at least none that like fish batter lol

Fish batter

. You work in a chippy ?

My hair is the colour of fish batter.... Orange.

Lol ahh...as long as you don't smell of fish batter, orange hair is incredibly attractive

Madam Scarlett doesnt have hair the colour of fish batter! Well not on her head anyway

And she's lovely in person.

Btw loving the new pic Madam very sexy indeed

Mwah! You're gorgeouser!!

After reading the fanny batter thread I have to point out it's NOT what I mean about my hair!

That's what I thought of when I read that! I have fish batter hair too x"

Brilliant, glad I'm not the only one! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

Nobody every talks to me

so I can't help ! No comment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go looking as I have my type and most of the emails I get are not from guys I would be interested in. Also have had some guys emailing the same email twice or more so you know they must email to everybody and I like to be picky so I do look myself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of our meets have come from us looking, we do get quite a bit of mail but most single guys dont read our profile and end up being not the type we are looking for.

Then we've had the usual - abuse for not meeting after 1 or 2 messages, blocked for not meeting immediately, weve even had 1 mail accusing rob of meeting on his own and me not existing. Dunno how that works with our verifications....

The place has some strange people in it! Fortunately we havent met them - well only 1....

Suzie

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By *ocksoff3Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I go looking as I have my type and most of the emails I get are not from guys I would be interested in. Also have had some guys emailing the same email twice or more so you know they must email to everybody and I like to be picky so I do look myself.

We always reply but will then block contacts that we have said no thanks to. In general we have found that when we have initiated contact the guy turns out to be a dreamer or even worse a 'no show'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thinking back to when I was more active on here, pretty sure all my meets came from people who contacted me first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always reply but will then block contacts that we have said no thanks to. In general we have found that when we have initiated contact the guy turns out to be a dreamer or even worse a 'no show'."

How could someone ignore a body like that and no show!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better meets are the ones I have initiated. More turned on as I have sought something specific and found it.

Don't mind people contacting me but usually not my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

That shows confidence, and confidence is almost always attractive to other confident people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More women should do it. That way it kinda cuts to the chase.

I know that women like guys to do use chasing, but I was pretty stoked when a couple asked me to join them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Better meets are the ones I have initiated. More turned on as I have sought something specific and found it.

Don't mind people contacting me but usually not my type "

But doesn't that argument work both ways?

I find it best when both parties are proactive and if a couple/single contacts me having read my profile and found similar preferences - it's more likely that they'll be the kind of people I'm looking to meet!

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By *antstoplaynowMan
over a year ago

uxbridge

"In theory Yes I want to,

In practice I have so much candy on my friends list and hotlist that no,

I use the time on the forums instead

Just found the forums and liking them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How many women and couples actively go looking for men they want to meet?

in my experience not many lol

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