FabSwingers.com forum: Making the first move.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How good are you making the first move?

Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?

Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?

From sending the message?

Suggesting a social?

Or making the first move in a physical sense?

Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?

I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?

Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?

Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We've rarely needed to make the suggestion but if we're interested we'll suggest a coffee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I send out a cheeky flirt and see if it’s reciprocated.

In real life I’m awful

far too shy!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't mean that in an arrogant way just that we've found that people will normally indicate their interest fairly quickly

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

I'm too shy

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I always chat for quite a while before having a social meet but I don't remember being the first one to suggest meeting.

If the woman says it would be nice to meet for a coffee I would then probably suggest when and we work out the where from that point.

In regard to messages in general, I stopped sending them completely more than 3 years ago so every conversation since has been initiated by someone else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t view it as making the first move , which makes things a lot easier with anxiety etc . If is see someone I like I speak to them . If I’m not for them hey ho that’s how it goes . Shy kid gets no sweets and we are a long time dead so nothing to lose

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By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan
over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

I usually start with a wink if a profile piques my interest..

Winks are very underated in my humble opinion

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By *estarossa.Woman
over a year ago

Flagrante

I am an instigator.

I also don't mind rejection, its better that being messed about. Its really easy to say thanks but no thanks, or you're not for me..no need for cruelty or rudeness x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To start with I'd always get F to instigate as I could never understand the thought of flirting with or paying someone else a compliment, now I can openly message people flirt naturally, however, I tend to make things a little awkward and goofy because that's where I thrive

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I’m pretty good online at making the first move and suggesting a social.

When I’m with someone I’ll wistfully look off in to the distance until I’m asked what I’m thinking about… I’ll then reply “how much I want to kiss you”. Works every time, except when it doesn’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll make my interest known pretty quickly, I don't see that it's pushy or desperate..

How else are you going to get what you want? Waiting for it to happen?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I'm quite flirty, people know if I like them both in person and online. If I don't get flirty vibes back I'm quick to tone it down because I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great.

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"How good are you making the first move?

Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?

Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?

From sending the message?

Suggesting a social?

Or making the first move in a physical sense?

Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?

I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?

Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?

Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "
Personality rules if you have one you don't feel nervous about approaching anyone especially a potential date, if you don't ask you don't get and sure sometimes you don't appeal to that person and sometimes they'll rebuff you but its life, we are all becoming a little introvert these days just smile and say hi, whats the worst that can happen.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

In real life I'm absolutely useless! I'm not brilliant online either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually rubbish in person. I have a constant fear of rejection.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

On a recent social meet I was (quite rightly) told off for not making that first big move and kissing her until the end. Literally snogging at the train station when saying goodbye, when we could have been at it all evening.

So next time I met up with someone I did better. And went for it sooner. By god, did it pay off. I’m so glad I did.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

In person I have missed many opportunities by not making the first move. I'm hopeless

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By *illynillyCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I Nilly definitely often make the first move...in conversation, in normal life stuff, in the naughtier side of life... I do get anxious but I also talk whilst anxious...pretty much anything can come out of my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll reach out if I'm interested. Surprisingly I've had guys think I'm kidding as they don't get messaged... It's a weird forum? It's not Tinder, but it's not 'I wanna shag' either? (well unless you do). So it's really hard to strike the balance of yes I've messaged you, no I don't want to take my knickers off without a decent chat first

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I Nilly definitely often make the first move...in conversation, in normal life stuff, in the naughtier side of life... I do get anxious but I also talk whilst anxious...pretty much anything can come out of my mouth

It's important to swallow before trying to talk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In person I'm.so shit at reading signals, that am always missing opportunity...online it's so much easier to just put it out there see what comes back around meeting for social etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certainly not on here.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

On here?

Fox runs the inbox and when we're browsing she'll send a cheeky wink to those that catch her eye. I'm too busy dicking around in the forums to deal with that too.

In clubs? We'll point out people to eachother and if there's someone we're interested in we'll try and catch they're eye or strike up conversation at the bar or in the vaping area. No problem at all making it obvious we're potentially interested as having made a 4-5 round trip we like to make it worthwhile.

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By *hristopherd999Man
over a year ago

Brentwood

I usually send a message, don't get a reply very often though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Online I’m terrible. I hardly ever message anyone first. I’m a massive flirt but I only do it if they’ve showed an interest in me before. I like to make sure they actually want to talk to me. I think I’m overly conscious about trying not to come over as too keen or a bit desperate, which is silly really when I think about it

In real life I’m much better at picking up on the signs and I’ll definitely make the first move if I feel like they’re too shy to do it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Isn't it hard on here though?

Like for example you get profiles that say they don't want pen pals etc, but in order to get a feel for someone you need conversation, but they apply a pressure stating they aren't into endless chatting, it's not a dating site etc which then leaves you wondering at which point has it been too long chatting for them and they assume it's a no go situation and therefore don't bother.

Usually I'd avoid those profile. But doesn't it make it harder as everyone is different?

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

I'm always happy to make the first move, and usually do on here. I tend to read the vibe of the conversation first, so will only make a move if she seems genuinely interested. Sometimes you can tell they aren't putting much effort into their replies or they just "forget" to reply.

If they're not interested they'll make an excuse or ignore it, if they are then it's game on. I'm way past the point of taking anything personally on this site.

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By *illynillyCouple
over a year ago

Wiltshire

Honestly I knew I d lined that up for some kind of smutty comment giggle

It's important to swallow before trying to talk

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Travelling

It's a minefield. We put pressure on making the first move but can often be so critical of the when and how it is made. That's on both sides.

Speaking as a guy, obviously, the amount of times I've read signals wrong, or read them correctly (in that they were obvious) but apparently the first move was not wanted at that time. Or I've avoided making the first move but missed out, yet the other person didn't make the move either. Or I've been too slow myself to make things obvious.

I dread it, it's an extremely uncomfortable part of interaction. So much disappointment orbits a first move. A mistimed first move can destroy something good or potentially great.

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

I'm happy to make the first move take it with a pinch of salt nothing ventured nothing gained and if rejected well that's life can take it very well if it happens obviously

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh I'm fucking awful at it. It's a bit of not knowing how to approach it and a bit of fear of rejection. I'd just end up sounding really nervous think they'd feel sorry for me more than feeling turned on! But I have had where they make the first move, maybe through a flirty joke and that can tell me it's ok to do the same "

It's tough as a single! Be that male or female

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting post: In all honesty - all of the above!

Navigating the dynamics of attraction and interest can be a bit of a minefield - although there usually comes a moment when you just have to throw caution to the wind and put your cards on the table.

Personally I prefer to engage in a pretty casual chat initially - in person or via messages - if someone piques my interest (hint hint - if this is you!). From there it’s usually pretty easy to gauge if there is interest or someone is seeking something different. Reading between the lines usually isn’t so hard.

These things can be tricker via Fab - the prospect of sex can be a double edged sword sometimes - but I do try to employ the same policy.

If all else fails, the old adage ‘fortune favours the brave’ seems to ring true. Sometimes taking a perceived ‘risk’ can really pay off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's tough as a single! Be that male or female

Exactly, sometimes I wish there were just big neon signs telling you what they feel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I never ask the question, then the answer will always be no

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Isn't it hard on here though?

Usually I'd avoid those profile. But doesn't it make it harder as everyone is different? "

I agree. I avoid those too. I like to chat for quite a while first. If they don’t then it’s fair enough but we won’t be meeting x

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.

'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.

'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection. "

This surprises me to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's tough as a single! Be that male or female

Exactly, sometimes I wish there were just big neon signs telling you what they feel

Well, quite often the 'sign', is that you get told off for being on here as you're not a real swinger

What ever the hell that is

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.

So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.

'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection. "

Personally I'd say that's a bit silly? 90% of folk I've met via here if because I've approached them. If I didn't, they probably wouldn't either. So it'd be a bit pointless?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.

So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.

Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.

So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.

Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs

Grabbing boobs over lunch?! Nora!

Isn't that more of a dinner thing?

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.

'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.

This surprises me to be honest. "

You assume I must get rejected all the time?

I suppose, effectively, we all do. Passively. But not to the extent of hearing it said explicitly.

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By *oofy321Man
over a year ago

moon base zero

Always make the first move,if I ask a 100 woman for a meet the laws of average say 1 will say yes..wish me fun guys because im at 99 nos at the minute

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.

'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.

Personally I'd say that's a bit silly? 90% of folk I've met via here if because I've approached them. If I didn't, they probably wouldn't either. So it'd be a bit pointless? "

It is undoubtedly silly. I'd add weak,cowardly, self-defeating,and depressing. But there it is.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Never, never, ever make the first move. I did that when I was a teenager and...lesson learned.

'The only winning move is not to play.' And, yes, that means potentially missing out on incredible happiness. But nothing, to me, is worth rejection.

This surprises me to be honest.

You assume I must get rejected all the time?

I suppose, effectively, we all do. Passively. But not to the extent of hearing it said explicitly."

Haha no I meant you seem quite confident and I would have imagined you had no issues making the first move.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.

So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.

Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs

Grabbing boobs over lunch?! Nora!

Isn't that more of a dinner thing?"

I have no morals posh. You knows this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's tough as a single! Be that male or female

Exactly, sometimes I wish there were just big neon signs telling you what they feel

Well, quite often the 'sign', is that you get told off for being on here as you're not a real swinger

What ever the hell that is "

Pah ignore them, a lot of people on here aren't swingers.

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By *umbriaman1962Man
over a year ago

outside of penrith

On here happy to send first message first move sugest social etc.

In real life can think of couple times I been too slow picking up on a hint.

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By *asty tatsyMan
over a year ago

london

"How good are you making the first move?

Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?

Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?

From sending the message?

Suggesting a social?

Or making the first move in a physical sense?

Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?

I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?

Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?

Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "

How did mine go?

I tend to go with it and see how I get on. I’m a much better flirt in person though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s hard for anyone but more so men..

We don’t want to come across as pushy but on the other hand you still need to know weather something could happen..

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Haha no I meant you seem quite confident and I would have imagined you had no issues making the first move. "

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

Rubbish, but then that's because of my insecurities and my desire to be desired - my ex really messed with my head

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Isn't it hard on here though?

Usually I'd avoid those profile. But doesn't it make it harder as everyone is different?

I agree. I avoid those too. I like to chat for quite a while first. If they don’t then it’s fair enough but we won’t be meeting x"

I like to too.

If you can't communicate in normal ways how the hell are you going to in the ways that will matter?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I'm pretty good at reaching out the hand of friendship, but utter rubbish at anything more. And I'm also rubbish at reading signs, believing that anyone actually wants me, the whole shebang.

So I pretty much just flirt anyway and assume it isn't going anywhere.

Ffs every time we have lunch I’m waiting for you to grab my boobs

Grabbing boobs over lunch?! Nora!

Isn't that more of a dinner thing?

I have no morals posh. You knows this "

Yes but Ilfracombe is proper classy!

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose."

That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

[Removed by poster at 28/03/23 11:19:40]

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

If cast out on to water you will encounter rough seas

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I always go for what I want. No point dithering about it, if I want to meet him then I'll ask

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Considering how confident I am in everything else I’m absolutely useless at making the first move fab wise. Beyond useless. Maybe it’s through being with the same person for 30 years. I think I’m a bit better than I was but still not great. "

Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move.....

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"I always go for what I want. No point dithering about it, if I want to meet him then I'll ask

^ It’s true, she will.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hopeless at signs of interest in person.

In chat if it's a flowing conversation, I would be mutually proactive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How good are you making the first move?

Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?

Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?

From sending the message?

Suggesting a social?

Or making the first move in a physical sense?

Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?

I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?

Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?

Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "

I think I'm stone useless at making the first move BUT if sending a message is considered a first move I suppose lm ok but l only message if l like something they have posted or replied to on the forums , l very very rarely send a message otherwise as l know ladies here are totally swamped with messages and getting a reply in that route is very difficult whereas l find it's easier if you send a message on what they've posted or replied to on the forums then at least they know you've read their post or reply.

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

Never, Ever

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"I usually start with a wink if a profile piques my interest..

Winks are very underated in my humble opinion

I absolutely hate winks...why not say something instead?

find it lazy...

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move.....

. There must have been wine involved haha.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

I have been told a few times by women that I'm not assertive enough in my approach to making the next move.

I often ignore my natural intuition and defer to being cautious and reticent — either in meeting or taking the conversation to the next level.

It's not about being shy or lacking courage; I simply need a 'sign' or gesture or a compelling indication that she is genuinely interested and therefore avoid the spectre of misjudgement.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.

That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!"

Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop

. I have a very strange mind!

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

[Removed by poster at 28/03/23 11:43:58]

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.

That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!

Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop

. I have a very strange mind! "

I've never noticed that you're odd Nora

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.

That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!

Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop

. I have a very strange mind!

I've never noticed that you're odd Nora

I least I’ve never denied it haha

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.

That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!

Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop

. I have a very strange mind!

I've never noticed that you're odd Nora

I least I’ve never denied it haha"

Compared to some here you're normal...ish

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By *urious8240Man
over a year ago

Ammanford

I'm pretty confident in all aspects of my life and never had a problem making the first move, if I'm attracted to you and you're bio is good I'll just message.

I also understand that it's law of attraction and if they're not attracted to me then it's in no way an insult, it's just their preference and no one should take offence to that. I do like to know either way though

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I'm quite shy, especially with 1st messages and general chit chat but once things go passed a social I am quite straightforward in making a move, it's the initial start that I find difficult.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move.....

. There must have been wine involved haha. "

Quite possibly. I was more concerned as to whether the wish was born of desire or aggression..?

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

I'm a bit shit at it but only because I can be quite lazy. If I really like someone, I'll make the effort.

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

I do message people in the search section I say about 70% get unread 20% read but no reply 9% blocked and 1% reply great stats but them figures are about right, on forums rarely rarely would I message anyone.

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

That's WHY I'm confident. Because I know we're just talking with no expectations. Nothing to lose.

That's exactly how I feel! And why I can seem confident!

Yeah I totally understand this too. I don’t try and explain the way I am very often as I am very odd. If I typed what I thought I’m like I’d look like a total fruitloop

. I have a very strange mind! "

Oh sweetie. We all know you're a fruitloop

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Interesting. I would have said that expressing a desire to sit on my face was a fairly strong first move.....

. There must have been wine involved haha.

Quite possibly. I was more concerned as to whether the wish was born of desire or aggression..?"

Contrary to popular belief I’m not at all aggressive

. I actually am a gentle pussy cat. I’m a bloody softie deep down! I admit it’s very deep down haha but I am.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

I very much take my cues from the person I’m chatting to. I don’t mean hints to rip their knickers off and charge into battle, more the flow of conversation. Whether she has been flirty, or (in person) making eye contact, smiles etc.

I’m sure sometimes in life I have missed out on opportunities due to missing signals too subtle for me to pick up.

I suspect that, more often than not, my innate gentlemanly conduct overrides my desire to flirt and make the first move. It’s not a conscious thing but I have never been, and will never be, one of those brash fellows who puts their own horn above my usual conduct.

Sometimes I feel I’m ‘normal’ chatting too much, sometimes cringing when I send that first move message.

Above all else, I’m just so used to being single and feeling undesirable. So my starting position is one of “she’s hot but unlikely to be interested in thee”.

In summary, anyone fancy a fuck?

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse? "

As a solo guy in here, if I didn't make the first move, I doubt I would have had any meets at all....

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By *hiversMan
over a year ago

Dinas Powys

I'm not great at making the first move... better on here than in 'real life', but still room for improvement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How good are you making the first move?

Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?

Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?

From sending the message?

Suggesting a social?

Or making the first move in a physical sense?

Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?

I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?

Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?

Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "

'You got to be a student of human moves'

I can read people quite well from playing poker for years.

Know when and when not to make a move most of the time.

If unsure though I'll still make a move to find out.

If it was clear they weren't interested, I wouldn't make a move though.

If unsure just try, saves wasting time in the long run.

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

I just don't do it.

I might make the first move via messaging.

But in real life I have very little ability to walk up to someone and start talking to them.

It's one of the banes of my existence

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

It’s just normal for me to make the first move , no issues at all. But sometimes I hold back if I think there’s a nice friendship developing and I’m not sure she’s interested in more, or just if I’m really enjoying a nice slow pace , organic and unrushed.

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By *anasGodMan
over a year ago

everywhere

I make first move I love the interaction and the trilling of it.

I am not so good on the internet and app way actually I dont like it.I prefer and like the live flirt

Sometimes throw my life woman as well made the first move.

I believe is the motivation,the place and the time.

This need a lot philosophically conversation or a night out with me to give some practical examples

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By *akingMemoriesMan
over a year ago

Toronto

I’ve made the first move in person more often than online. I stay away from the many passive aggressive and negative bios on fab. Not judging them-just not my thing.

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By *unandgamegeekMan
over a year ago

Bolton

I never did as it scares the hell out of me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I like them I will absolutely make the first move. If we have got to a social and it's going well then I will go in for the kill haha, what's the worst that can happen I get a no. Well that's ok and better off knowing than not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never use to, ever.

But now, yeah I do.

I'll message a guy first.

I'll suggest we should meet, only then to be met with a barrage of excuses

You know what they say though, shy kids don't get sweets.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Most men generally know they'll get knocked back, unless you look like zeuss. So, it's difficult, and I rarely start a conversation via a message these days, preferring the forum

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How good are you making the first move?

Do you find it difficult in fear of coming across pushy or desperate? Or you're unsure if they like you enough so without some definitive sign you darent?

Would you rather avoid a rejection and potentially fuck up what could be a good friendship?

From sending the message?

Suggesting a social?

Or making the first move in a physical sense?

Ever have those conversations where you seem able to chat and click well but neither of you suggest a social and it goes stale instead or just doesn't move forward?

I'm not great at first moves. Sometimes I feel like I'm required to though as the guy would rather I make it clear I'm interested first.

Do the guys on here not make first moves because they don't want to come across pushy or worse?

Do the women not because they don't want to come across a certain way?

Lots of questions I know, but it's hard to navigate isn't it? "

I’m happy to suggest a social and it just being that….but I’m also happy to suggest a sleepover with cwtches and see where it leads

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By *ebootCouple
over a year ago

Telford

On here not too bad - happy to drop a message and open conversation.

In a club - totally the opposite, we’re absolutely awful at approaching people unless an obviously opportunity presents itself to chat.

Otherwise we’re the ones sat in a corner watching everything unfold around us

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By *izzy.miss.lizzyCouple
over a year ago

Pembrokeshire

my mouth runs away with me when I feel nervous or out of my comfort zone with somebody we haven't met before,

so, eventually, Cj gives the signal to move things forwards by asking me to take something like my top or knickers off lol.

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By *tar80sWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I think I am a little confused on what the first move is. If I see something interesting or want to comment on something, I just do it. In real life and on here, but I don't necessarily see that as flirting because I can easily thank them and walk away after getting that point across if I want to.

In a physical sense, if I want sonething it is going to be evident that the doors open. Which is a move in itself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In terms of Fab? I'm shy and I'm a bit of a lurker

In real life. I'm shy till I get to know you.

I'm both cases if someone wants to chat/message then I can do that.

I just not comfortable with rejection, probably a self confidence thing or the lack thereof.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"In a physical sense, if I want something it is going to be evident that the doors open. Which is a move in itself. "

I can’t speak for everyone else, but I like your directness. You don’t fuck about, and yet you’re exceptionally kind and smiley about it. A winning combo.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated. "

I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn

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By *tar80sWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"In a physical sense, if I want something it is going to be evident that the doors open. Which is a move in itself.

I can’t speak for everyone else, but I like your directness. You don’t fuck about, and yet you’re exceptionally kind and smiley about it. A winning combo."

Thanks RtG!

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By *hegirlwiththepeachtattooWoman
over a year ago

I don’t approach people, both in real life and online. It’s a confidence thing, the bravest thing I’ll do is wink someone but that’s rare.

A funny thing for me was when a club i stopped going to (my choice based on their actions) tried to spread rumours about me, one being that i “wouldn’t take no for an answer” and don’t understand “no means no.” Anyone who knows me knows in all my 7/8 years on the scene I’ve never approached a soul, and I honestly can’t see that i ever will.

I have the utmost respect for people who approach others in clubs, it takes a lot of strength mentally to be okay with rejection.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.

I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn

I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups!

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

Just lean against them so they can't escape and kiss them, what's the worst that will happen?

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Just lean against them so they can't escape and kiss them, what's the worst that will happen?

They might miss their train?

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.

I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn

I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups! "

I do warn to hold on tight, dig your nails in a bit next time

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

I've never had an issue with taking the initiative. I'm able to gauge fairly well if the conditions were right for some type of advance. The prospect of rejection never put me off as it's always a possibility and it does happen.

I think women in general appreciate and are attracted to confidence. Cockiness, not so much, though some like this as well.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

NORWAY Wherever I lay my hat

"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.

I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn

I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups!

I do warn to hold on tight, dig your nails in a bit next time

Couga claw sharpening in progress

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

a woman from the forum contacted me out of the blue.

the conversation was brief but it was nice to hear from her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t really like to make the first move because I don’t want to come across as pushy or struggle to think of something to say on here. However I often do as I wouldn’t be chatting to anyone on here if I didn’t haha

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I don’t.

I’m too shy for a start. I’m anlso socially anwkward.

But more so I’m quite old fashioned when it comes to men, I like them to woo, court, ask out etc.

And if they don’t then they weren’t that interested in me (is how I see it).

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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago

Redhill

I never make the first move. Either in Fab or in real life.

Not confident enough to do it..

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"I rarely make the first move but happy to. I tend to know what I want and can be very direct once I get a sense that my interest is reciprocated.

I'm sure I remember you approaching me and saying you wanted to ride me from dusk till dawn

I certainly did but you rode off into the sunset alone and left me hanging with my crop and stirrups!

I do warn to hold on tight, dig your nails in a bit next time

Couga claw sharpening in progress "

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By *irtdiggerABCMan
over a year ago

torbay

In my experience, it makes absolutely no difference who makes the first move, something about me, means that it rarely goes past 2 messages anyway ???????

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By *cHeroMan
over a year ago

North East

Fortune favours the brave

happy to make first move here and in real life.

Walk of shame away sucks in person...not so much here but need to be pretty thick skinned - given the typical inbox of women, I think it's more luck than anything else just to messages read let alone replied...so no big deal, and move on

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

If I was interested in meeting someone I was never hesitant to make the first move...what's the worst that can happen? I think a lot of men on here are wary of seeming too forward or pushy, especially forum users that see lots of posts from women about behaviour that they don't like. Personally, I've never minded anyone asking, it's a simple question that you're free to answer however you choose.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I'm quite happy to make the first move, suggest a date or coffee etc. I have self confidence doubts from time to time but weirdly not too much overthinking on that part (unless bipanic sets in and I don't know how to talk to a woman who gives me butterflies).

I think, for the most part, it's been me making that first move.

That's probably why I'm normally surprised/a bit taken aback when people do. It means a little bit more, allows me to relax into it and and enjoy that feeling of being desired differently.

I'm quite wary about messing up friendships with sex or something more. People mean more to me than something that could be fleeting or end badly.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I never have and probably never will. It’s not only about the lack of self confidence and cultural upbringing, but also I have difficulty to pick up the signs, I need for the other person to say if they're interested straight to my face, and really mean it.

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By *ittlebirdWoman
over a year ago

The Big Smoke

I have no issue making the first move in any part of my life. Someone has to go first. Might as well be me

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

A lady who makes the ¹st move will pair with a gentleman who will cum ²nd.

[A.N Other, 1942]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like to chat and flirt

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Like to chat and flirt "

•

Succinctly put.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm extremely shy and socially awkward. I've never had a yes from a girl I've asked out, so I'm simply unable to read signals from women. So making the first move is a no for me.

Like most of Fab, I've been here before, deleted my account and re-joined. I've recently completely blanked my Fab profile and turned off all messaging options so nobody can contact me whatsoever. I've had two couples interested, both of whom messed me about and I've really had enough of trying to get a meet here, I am happy to go on the forums and chat but that's all Fab will ever be for me.

Also, I think you have to be realistic and know your place in the pecking order, I'm very aware of where I stand in that respect. I know as soon as I'm asked for a face picture, its game over, I'm going no further. My just over 8" cock will only cover so much for deficiencies in other areas.

Ironically, I don't have a problem with this as that is life itself, the prettiest women at work have much more chance of promition that I ever will, they will get opportunities that I won't but that is my friends the way life works, whether we choose to acknowledge it or not!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No woman here ever does

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm shy and nervous about making the first move, but also know that no girls are going to make a move on me so I kinda have to take the initiative lol. One day I'm sure it'll pay off!

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

On here, I'm pretty slick and efficient at it

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By *oitering-With-intentMan
over a year ago

city of Lodon

It's better to meet people at socials rather than messaging on here.

The way the messaging system works on the site doesn't help either.

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