FabSwingers.com forum: Honesty

By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

I've been discussing honesty recently, which has lead me to a question.

I live my life by being totally honest with absolutely everyone, about absolutely everything. Super black'n'white, if anything I can't lie.

I'm basically Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, which I'm cool with, what a film.

But since navigating this world I've come across a lot of people I think are great, honest people and then as time goes by you see some little cracks.

So my question is, in this world is it better to 'join em' keep most stuff to myself rather than being honest and expecting the same in return?

(The disappointment of thinking someones honest and being proven wrong is tiring for my mind currently)

Are there any truth people out there that have swapped sides and feel better for it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends what they're not being honest about.

There's plenty of things I don't share as it's not a requirement...

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

What do you mean by honesty?

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

Peoples intentions with you

Their intentions with others

What they seek

How they seek it

Like if I'm going out to bang, there's people I tell because that's how I run this show.

Does that make sense?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try to be as honest as I can in my day-to-day dealings, and apply that to my dates as well, being up front about my status as a happily married man, setting the right expectations, and making sure everyone goes in with their eyes open.

But there are always aspects of one's life other people are simply not entitled to know unless they have earned that trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, if we've agreed that we'll tell each other, but at this point I'm not really interested in who someone else is or isn't seeing..

I'm only interested in who I'm seeing or not seeing

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Peoples intentions with you

Their intentions with others

What they seek

How they seek it

Like if I'm going out to bang, there's people I tell because that's how I run this show.

Does that make sense?

Yes

I think we're honest in that we try our best to be clear about our intentions in a tactful way.

I tend to take what other people say with a large pinch of salt though.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

MOROCCO Wherever I lay my hat

I value honesty extremely highly. I am shit at lying and it makes me feel so guilty when I have done so. It's a trait I cannot stand in others and if I know someone has lied to me I usually cut all ties as the trust has been destroyed. The one exception is that I keep my Fab life from my kids - I would love to be honest about it but it would almost certainly make them feel uncomfortable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I’m fairly honest. I tell people enough of the things they need to know but I wouldn’t say I’m an open book. I like to keep some things private.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

So my question is, in this world is it better to 'join em' keep most stuff to myself rather than being honest and expecting the same in return?

(The disappointment of thinking someones honest and being proven wrong is tiring for my mind currently)

Are there any truth people out there that have swapped sides and feel better for it? "

I think there’s a subtle difference between being honest and not speaking up. ie someone in a group of people says something to which you could contribute, but decide not to.

You’re not being dishonest, but not entirely honest either.

I’m like you - a fundamentally honest person and if someone asks me a direct question I cannot bring myself to lie. It just feels wrong. But I can avoid answering questions when I’m not specifically required to answer, which I would do if I felt my contribution would hurt someone’s feelings or is otherwise unnecessary.

I wish more people were more honest. I’ve been on the receiving end of discovering someone has lied to me and it’s horrible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been discussing honesty recently, which has lead me to a question.

I live my life by being totally honest with absolutely everyone, about absolutely everything. Super black'n'white, if anything I can't lie.

I'm basically Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, which I'm cool with, what a film.

But since navigating this world I've come across a lot of people I think are great, honest people and then as time goes by you see some little cracks.

So my question is, in this world is it better to 'join em' keep most stuff to myself rather than being honest and expecting the same in return?

(The disappointment of thinking someones honest and being proven wrong is tiring for my mind currently)

Are there any truth people out there that have swapped sides and feel better for it? "

I'm my experience honesty can be worked with, everyone knows whete they stand from the get go...

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I've been discussing honesty recently, which has lead me to a question.

I live my life by being totally honest with absolutely everyone, about absolutely everything. Super black'n'white, if anything I can't lie.

I'm basically Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, which I'm cool with, what a film.

But since navigating this world I've come across a lot of people I think are great, honest people and then as time goes by you see some little cracks.

So my question is, in this world is it better to 'join em' keep most stuff to myself rather than being honest and expecting the same in return?

(The disappointment of thinking someones honest and being proven wrong is tiring for my mind currently)

Are there any truth people out there that have swapped sides and feel better for it? "
what you don't know doesn't hurt you....... A truer saying never existed

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I value honesty extremely highly. I am shit at lying and it makes me feel so guilty when I have done so. It's a trait I cannot stand in others and if I know someone has lied to me I usually cut all ties as the trust has been destroyed. The one exception is that I keep my Fab life from my kids - I would love to be honest about it but it would almost certainly make them feel uncomfortable. "

I usually do cut'n'run when someone is proven to be dishonest, but sometimes it's hard to see, they're good at covering their lies.

I'm talking about people within my fab life, who I tell everything to, and with the sign up to hanging out with me, I always ask the same of them, but then they start to fuck it up and it's really quite sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually do cut'n'run when someone is proven to be dishonest, but sometimes it's hard to see, they're good at covering their lies.

Been burnt myself on that one. Lesson learned!

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

I get u yes! I'm totally honest in all aspects of life! I still get shocked when others are not! Which is daft really ! X

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

I usually do cut'n'run when someone is proven to be dishonest, but sometimes it's hard to see, they're good at covering their lies.

Been burnt myself on that one. Lesson learned! "

Did you switch though?

Thought, "fuck that happening again" and join em on the shady side?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I usually do cut'n'run when someone is proven to be dishonest, but sometimes it's hard to see, they're good at covering their lies.

Been burnt myself on that one. Lesson learned!

Did you switch though?

Thought, "fuck that happening again" and join em on the shady side?"

No. But it’s made me more careful about who I open up to!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I’m talking to those closest to me, I’ll be truthful. If I care about the friendship or relationship I have with them, I require honesty.

Other people don’t need to know every about me, so I don’t over share but I also don’t lie. I just keep things simple.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

I think you mean more about being open than just simply honest.

Honesty is answering truthfully when asked a question, without trying to hide or deceive.

Openness is offering truths without having to be asked.

You need to be honest to be open, but you don't need to be open to be honest.

I'm honest, I am only open with those I feel I can be, so varied levels of open depending on who you are. A large part of it is down to being socially shy. I don't go around throwing details and random information, it's a none deceptive need to know.

I am open about trust and intentions, but I won't share every little detail.

I'm an over thinker, not necessarily an over sharer. Though at times I ramble on so much over shares sort of pop out and drop in involuntary.

I'm not quite sure I answered the question but definitely think you mean more open than actually honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like honesty, also find it hard to lie. And on here I don't see any reason why I should lie. I've got nothing to hide at all.

I'll be open about meets. I'll say I have one and what day to others but won't give names etc. I would like the same back. But I've found some will say I'm the only one they are seeing in an attempt to get me to only see them. But it's often quite apparent they are lying and thats a red flag on many levels. I'll also be honest for sexual health reasons. I expect the same. I thinks it's a basic expectation on both sides at least and if thats broken wheres the trust. Liars will make me withdraw from this life and give up bothering.

And like you say it's quite sad when they fuck it up.

I also hate the dishonesty of someone that doesn't have the balls to say they are not interested anymore but won't end it because they don't want to appear the arsehole and there's someone else in the mix.

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"If I’m talking to those closest to me, I’ll be truthful. If I care about the friendship or relationship I have with them, I require honesty.

Other people don’t need to know every about me, so I don’t over share but I also don’t lie. I just keep things simple. "

Maybe thats it, I go in with 'lets be honest' but maybe I care too much for the friendship and it's not the same on the other end so they feel the need to lie?

You may have solved it Sir

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By *arlot_CharlotteWoman
over a year ago

Salford

I’ve always maintained that honesty is the best policy.

All of my close vanilla friends know I’m on Fab and the novelty factor has worn off for them asking me questions. I’ve told 2 close colleagues but otherwise others don’t need to know, certainly not my parents.

Having been on the receiving end of deceit, it’s the worst feeling as it made me feel stupid. I’d rather hear the truth so I can process it and get my head round it than be lied to. Sadly many people aren’t truthful and that’s just a fact of life.

I will always be honest and I don’t think you should change your stance based on how other people behave. We have no control over others. We can only control how we deal with them and what we feel is acceptable behaviour or not based on our own values.

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I like honesty, also find it hard to lie. And on here I don't see any reason why I should lie. I've got nothing to hide at all.

And like you say it's quite sad when they fuck it up.

Amen to this, for sexual health reasons too, I'm all about protecting those I care about.

I've found previously people will keep you dangling on the lies for as long as they can until they've nailed the next best thing. Chumps.

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I think you mean more about being open than just simply honest.

Honesty is answering truthfully when asked a question, without trying to hide or deceive.

Openness is offering truths without having to be asked.

You need to be honest to be open, but you don't need to be open to be honest.

I am open about trust and intentions, but I won't share every little detail.

I'm an over thinker, not necessarily an over sharer. Though at times I ramble on so much over shares sort of pop out and drop in involuntary.

I'm not quite sure I answered the question but definitely think you mean more open than actually honest. "

After reading this, I agree, it's open.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I’m honest as in I won’t lie. I don’t offer information very much though and I won’t answer some things if it’s not relevant or none of someone’s business. I’m very private but I’m honest if that makes sense.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a huge difference in honesty and openness and not sharing isn't actually being dishonest ...

To be fair humans lie and it's a natural part of life: cheque is in the post, you look nice etc. and they're just harmless little lies that either protect us or protect another's feelings

We lie to ourselves daily: another biscuit won't hurt, I look shite, nobody likes me etc. These aren't as harmless and until we can be honest with ourselves I think we will always lie. Are we actually even open with ourselves?

It's the lies that actually will hurt people that are the biggies, and have a habit of escalation, that lead to us getting into life messes that are awful ...

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm always very honest with those who deserve my trust and honesty but there's a difference in being open and honest and using it as a big stick.

I used to know someone who claimed she couldn't tell lies but then she would be very indiscreet and tell complete strangers very private things that friends had shared with her.

Every time she claimed it was just how she was, all I could think was "what an idiot".

She was trying to make out she was so much better than everyone else by being honest but in doing so had alienated so many people.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"There is a huge difference in honesty and openness and not sharing isn't actually being dishonest ...

To be fair humans lie and it's a natural part of life: cheque is in the post, you look nice etc. and they're just harmless little lies that either protect us or protect another's feelings

It's the lies that actually will hurt people that are the biggies, and have a habit of escalation, that lead to us getting into life messes that are awful ...

I agree .

Honesty isn't all it's cracked up to be either. There are some occasions in life when lying is actually to be recommended I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy. Anything else is just exhausting and unethical. Naturally there are times when a 'white lie' is excusable - pure, hard honesty in certain situations can be a little cruel - but for anything that may impact someones time, effort or hopes - I try to play it straight. Pursuits of a Fab nature are naturally pretty intimate, so I prefer to keep any private information that is disclosed to me exactly that. It's pretty simple really

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

It's partly about trust and context. Anything that directly involves another should have an assumption of honesty and disclosure of appropriate information. It's also reasonable to assume that we share more information about us as we get to know each other, which could include details of our broader lives.

If things are important to us, we can explain this and negotiate and communicate both ways, so that we all understand our respective situations. We can then proceed, in the basis of being informed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you search for tenderness

It isn't hard to find

You can have the love you need to live

But if you look for truthfulness

You might just as well be blind

It always seems to be so hard to give

Honesty is such a lonely word

Everyone is so untrue

Honesty is hardly ever heard

And mostly what I need from you

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"I'm always very honest with those who deserve my trust and honesty but there's a difference in being open and honest and using it as a big stick.

I used to know someone who claimed she couldn't tell lies but then she would be very indiscreet and tell complete strangers very private things that friends had shared with her.

Every time she claimed it was just how she was, all I could think was "what an idiot".

She was trying to make out she was so much better than everyone else by being honest but in doing so had alienated so many people."

This person sounds like a bad egg.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

I've always been honest, I've hidden some stupid things in the past though which caused issues but I've learnt from that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm probably not a great person honesty wise... I recently got involved with a couple that looked for me to be involved with the make partner. We then broke it off, restarted it, but in hindsight she didn't know? He asked to me meet again, got caught out. He threw me under the bus... I do feel I could have just fucked both of them off ages ago. But once you get involved it's complex... Even more so if they turn on you

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

I'm black and white as well. I used to expect everyone else to be like that but I ended up frustrated when their little lies came out. Some also live in deception, which I find hard to stomach, so I tend to avoid and adopt the policy of live and let live Instead. None of it helps with my already deep trust issues though, so it's easier to keep all, bar my loved friends at arms length on here

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By *iltsTSgirlTV/TS
over a year ago

chichester

I’ll tell people what they need to know to make an informed decision Nothing more ..

I am not a person for freely spilling out my life story or wanting to know theirs .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always seek to be honest, with tact, but I think each connection needs an agreed set of boundaries and expectations regarding openness. If I needed complete openness from someone I'd tell them up front, so if they weren't comfortable with that they'd have the opportunity to call it quits before getting in too deep. With other people I might not feel the need to know who and when they were meeting and wouldn't volunteer that information myself, but would definitely answer honestly if they asked.

Nell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been discussing honesty recently, which has lead me to a question.

I live my life by being totally honest with absolutely everyone, about absolutely everything. Super black'n'white, if anything I can't lie.

I'm basically Jim Carrey in Liar Liar, which I'm cool with, what a film.

But since navigating this world I've come across a lot of people I think are great, honest people and then as time goes by you see some little cracks.

So my question is, in this world is it better to 'join em' keep most stuff to myself rather than being honest and expecting the same in return?

(The disappointment of thinking someones honest and being proven wrong is tiring for my mind currently)

Are there any truth people out there that have swapped sides and feel better for it? "

So many have hidden agendas and only want you or other things as long as they benefit when they don't benefit you see their true colours ..it happens everywhere not only here but in every day life too .

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

Shouldn't be too disappointed when you discover cracks in people.

We are human, full of faults, mistakes and poor judgements.

we go through our lives doing and saying things others object too.

It comes down to if you can forgive.

I can forgive if I care about them but I need to understand why.

And If I can't understand why it depends on how serious the error was.

Does that make sense?

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think the level of openness and honesty required differs for different relationships. In the past on here, it was nobody else's business who and when I was meeting, and if asked directly I would just decline to answer. In a relationship, especially an ENM relationship, openness and honesty are everything, it's doomed to fail if trust is broken.

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By *iberatedduoCouple
over a year ago

Ashbourne

We are a respectful couple with genuine intentions. There is a difference between an outright lie and holding something back. It’s a case of a need to know basis. If a situation calls for it then we share whatever that is with someone.

We’ve had our share of no shows and abruptness for no reason however that is a reflection on them and not us so it’s not a case of joining them. We will be the respectful people we are and treat others like people.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

Yes this is what I meant. But you put it better as usual

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

Yes this is what I meant. But you put it better as usual

You're welcome

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

Yes this is what I meant. But you put it better as usual

You're welcome

Well fuck you both! I said it first

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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

"I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

Yes this is what I meant. But you put it better as usual

You're welcome

Well fuck you both! I said it first

You did.

But for a change I said it in less words.

I'll take the fuck though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

Yes this is what I meant. But you put it better as usual

You're welcome

Well fuck you both! I said it first

Well I thought about saying it first so fuck you too

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think there is a difference between between being honest and being open.

You can, after all, be honest but not share everything with everyone all the time.

Yes this is what I meant. But you put it better as usual

You're welcome

Well fuck you both! I said it first

Haha you did. I just scrolled back. You know what I’m like for reading threads before I comment

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I am very much an open book. I'm not discreet or quiet about who I am or what I enjoy.

Obviously, I don't rub it all up in the face of people who clearly express that they don't want details. I'll avoid discussing certain points in front of them for the sake of common courtesy.

But the people I consider friends, they get everything. I can worry that I end up lying by omission without intent, so the full on word vomit is a regular thing for me.

If someone doesn't tell me something that's not relevant to me then that's fine. When people actively keep things that are relevant to me from me I can get very hurt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you handle the truth op? If yes I’ll tell you what it is and what it isn’t.

Generally I’m tryna fuck and not start a family

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By *ilB OP Woman
over a year ago

West Midlands

"Can you handle the truth op? If yes I’ll tell you what it is and what it isn’t.

Generally I’m tryna fuck and not start a family

I can handle it, we're in the same boat most definitely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I started reading this thread thinking "Yes, that's me! I'm too honest" but having read the other replies I think I'm actually too open not too honest. I do share a lot about myself and I don't like hiding things but I guess there's nothing wrong with holding a bit back to protect yourself? Not sure if it's linked but I also think I'm a little too trusting basically because I assume people act in a similar way to me when they might not at all, do you have that issue too?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I think it’s important to be honest but that does not mean over sharing or breaking the confidence of others. I very rarely have moral dilemmas, I think knowing your own values well and not being easily swayed by others helps

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Let's see if I can put a stream of consciousness into something readable.

I value honesty a lot. I like openness but I can respect to some degree (I know my flaws and am work in progress) that people don't want to discuss everything. I'd hate for them to feel pressure to - guilty if that's the right word? People ask me to not share things, I want people to have their own lives.

But honesty in what's shared? That's really important to me.

I think we've all lied, we all lie from time to time.

Things are nuanced, people change and the world isn't black and white even though I do take things them in that way. I wish I didn't, I think it's part of my ND charm but it's also really irritating for others - if someone says to me the moon is blue I will wholeheartedly believe it is because I care and respect that person and think they will reciprocate that. I'm learning more the grey areas in what we say, the fluctuations of life.

It's not lying that hurts me. More the way things are handled. The little doubts that start creeping in. The rather irksome thing is, when I'm lied to, I start believing that maybe if I was better, less me? Well maybe they wouldn't have to lie.

So I experience hurt, I ramble to make sense of it. Then there's a flash of anger and then I think - I should be better. Try and move past it because I can live with my hurt and don't want to burden the others. It's kind of crap how small they can make me feel.

Such an emo.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't think there isn't a person who's never lied about anything.

But honestly is extremely important to me, I am overly honest, I share my opinions, expectations and thoughts openly, although that can sometimes get me in trouble, sometimes I need to think before my mouth opens.

Mrs

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"It's not lying that hurts me. More the way things are handled. The little doubts that start creeping in. The rather irksome thing is, when I'm lied to, I start believing that maybe if I was better, less me? Well maybe they wouldn't have to lie.

Such an emo.

That struck a very hard chord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A question to all the honest, open book people, a two parter

1) (to the overly open people) Do the people closet to you know about your alternative life on fab?

2) (to the overly honest people) When openly asked do you admit to your alternative life on fab?

Just interested ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a pretty open person in all aspects of my life. However I know my return to here upset someone because I hid it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"A question to all the honest, open book people, a two parter

1) (to the overly open people) Do the people closet to you know about your alternative life on fab?

2) (to the overly honest people) When openly asked do you admit to your alternative life on fab?

Just interested ... "

All my friends know I'm on here. Of course all my partners know. I'm not even sure I or they would call it alternative to the life I lead in general.

My family amd boss also know. Though that's less through a straight choice as they'd probably prefer not to know, but I refused to let the ex hold it over my head that he could "ruin my life"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question to all the honest, open book people, a two parter

1) (to the overly open people) Do the people closet to you know about your alternative life on fab?

2) (to the overly honest people) When openly asked do you admit to your alternative life on fab?

Just interested ...

All my friends know I'm on here. Of course all my partners know. I'm not even sure I or they would call it alternative to the life I lead in general.

My family amd boss also know. Though that's less through a straight choice as they'd probably prefer not to know, but I refused to let the ex hold it over my head that he could "ruin my life"

Awesome!

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By *ortyairCouple
over a year ago

Wallasey

I would call myself an 'honest' person but that foes not mean I always tell the truth, or my version of it.

Sometimes lies are beneficial and I have told them throughout my life without me considering myself dishonest.

So long as they are not harmful in anyway then I see no problem with the odd lie or half truth x

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I would say I'm honest but I don't tell everyone my business and I don't ask theirs except my very close friends

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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago

Near Wells

About the only time I lie is if someone asks me something and the truth would lead to an extended conversation about why I think or do the things I do or say.

Sometimes I lie just to stop the conversation going any further.

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By *ittle Miss TinkerbellWoman
over a year ago

your head

Really depends on what it is. Obviously, I share all with my partner but I wouldn't necessarily do that with someone I just started talking to. I have friends I share stuff with because they are my friends but I'm not going to start telling some random in my inbox that I'm off to get laid. There is such a thing as oversharing on here. I keep my private life to those I trust.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Such an emo.

That struck a very hard chord

As did your message. I'm not ashamed to admit I cried so I'm going to reply properly when it won't make me teary eyed.

That feeling of being smaller, of having to change who you are because you're not enough/okay? It's awful. And sadly lying can remind you of that.

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By *emorefridaCouple
over a year ago

La la land

Think there can be a fine line between being honest and being rather too blunt. It can come across as abrasive and rude.

Plus I think when people search out dishonesty they kind of find it. Because how I feel about something can change, that doesn't mean I was dishonest initially. Plus I'm totally dishonest when the kids ask where the chocolate went and blame it on the other half.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Think there can be a fine line between being honest and being rather too blunt. It can come across as abrasive and rude.

Yes, that's an important thing to remember. People are fluid things, as is life. Things change and that's okay. More than. It's fantastic that people grow, change, learn etc.

I think that fibs (such a cute word) are normal. But being dishonest is different to changing your mind/things changing. Or wanting to snaffle some well deserved chocolate.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I have trust issues so it’s all a bit complex.

Tell me something that doesn’t sit well with me that you’ve done in the past and I’ll forever think you’re shady. That’s it, you’ve tainted yourself in my eyes and I’ll not trust you. All because of them wanting to be honest with me.

I tend to overthink things. Why did they do that, why wouldn’t they do that to me? How can I trust them to be honest and open with me if they weren’t open and honest in the past?

It’s a ball ache.

So yes I appreciate honesty and openness but there ARE some things I just don’t want to know.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

"I have trust issues so it’s all a bit complex.

I tend to overthink things. Why did they do that, why wouldn’t they do that to me? How can I trust them to be honest and open with me if they weren’t open and honest in the past?

It’s a ball ache.

So yes I appreciate honesty and openness but there ARE some things I just don’t want to know.

So much this. I forgive but don't forget, I'd love to give a second chance, but I'll be in fear that they would do whatever cuntish thing they did in the past, to me.

It's easier to have a one shot rule and cut ties once trust has been broken than try to rebuild that trust with playdoh

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

If you don't want to tell something then simply don't tell, whats the point in lying. If you want to tell them simply tell the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A question to all the honest, open book people, a two parter

1) (to the overly open people) Do the people closet to you know about your alternative life on fab?

2) (to the overly honest people) When openly asked do you admit to your alternative life on fab?

Just interested ... "

1 those that matter know. That is 2 people that are very close to me.

2. Nobody asks me if I’m a swinger or am I on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be very honest and open with everyone but I've learnt as I've got older that it doesn't pay to be.

I also feel a lot is about trust, and call me cynical but I only trust one single person in the whole wide world 100%.

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