FabSwingers.com forum: Reason why you should never fuck a

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Disclaimer... This is just for fun and not meant to be offensive to any profession.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A health and safety person...there's too much risk they will avoid you

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By *LIVEANDKICKING100Man
over a year ago

DUBLIN

Client. Can lead to big trouble professionally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

…..health and safety manager.

Our idea of foreplay is running a risk assessment and making sure your understand the RAMS for the upcoming activity

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

...a nun.

Can be a bad habit to get into.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An electrician

It's a shocking experience

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A dog groomer.

Because they'd probably fucking stink

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Accountant - they're only interested in your assets and double entry. You won't get any relief unless it's tax relief.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Disclaimer... This is just for fun and not meant to be offensive to any profession.

I’m game for constructive feedback op.

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By *uicy_J66Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

A train driver... they have a one track mind

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

A coal man.

As soon as they empty their sack they bugger off.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South

A priest. They’ll ghost you.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A panda.

Eats shoots and leaves.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

A gardener. Their bushes might need a good trim

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

"A gardener. Their bushes might need a good trim

And they're always trying to fertilize you, they hang around with hoes and the kinky fuckers always have butts full of water!

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By *istyblue1967Man
over a year ago

manchester

accountant

he ll charge you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A yoga instructor. You’d be bent in all weird ways

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

A PT. They'll question your form and tell you the right way to do it

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

"A priest. They’ll ghost you."

Not the reason I thought you'd go for

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

A delivery driver - you'll wait all day for them to come and they'll sneak a card into your box while you're not looking.

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By *oitering-With-intentMan
over a year ago

city of Lodon

Knife juggler.

Youll get poked in all the wrong places

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A bus driver.

They'll leave you hanging around for hours and then next thing you know three will turn up at once and you're in for a gangbang.

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By *histle do nicelyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow South

A stamp collector..they don't know when to stop licking..

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By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

And IT support engineer. They have to turn you off before they can turn you on again

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By *4bimMan
over a year ago

Farnborough Hampshire

An MP.

Too much cash for questions

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A delivery driver.

They will damage your package and leave a photo of it with someone else.

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A council road planning manager.

They'll just stand around watching whilst 15 guys in high viz drink tea and take it in turns over the next 6 months to fill your hole in badly and have to come back again a couple of months to do it all once more just as badly as the first time while angry local residents hurl abuse at them from passing cars.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A council road planning manager.

Get it off your chest

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

An Olympic sprinter.

It'll all be over in less than 10 seconds.

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By *ilBWoman
over a year ago

West Midlands

...a murderer, they'll fuck you till you're dead.

Bit far..

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"...a murderer, they'll fuck you till you're dead.

Bit far..

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

A dentist. He’ll wear a mask and tell you to open wide, before tutting and saying you haven’t been cleaning properly.

When he’s finished he’ll ask you to rinse what he’s left in there and then hand you a bill.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...a murderer, they'll fuck you till you're dead.

Bit far..

Or a necrophiliac, you’ll die before you get fucked

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Bit far..

Nah. I was going to say ‘a Tory’. No punchline, just don’t do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An MP or other politician

Because they will be constantly trying to fuck you for the rest of your life

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Or a necrophiliac, you’ll die before you get fucked

But rigor mortis makes me hard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A politician - as they never can deliver on what they promise and and always deny on being there when it happened - well I can think of at least one that fits this

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By *ecretRdvzMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"A health and safety person...there's too much risk they will avoid you "

This is funny. I used to do fire safety, it wasn’t my actual job, just a role I had within another job. A woman once invited me to her place and she had more candles than I’ve ever seen, my first thought was “fuck me what a fire hazard”. We had a bit of a laugh about it and she told me it was ridiculous, totally fine etc. so we’re having sex and a cushion fell of the bed and caught fire, smoke alarm going off, her flat mate came running in, everyone panicking. Didn’t cause a serious fire but certainly made my point. That’s one night I’ll never forget haha. Sorry, back to the point.

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By *oitering-With-intentMan
over a year ago

city of Lodon

A pornstar.

After you've been kicked in the balls a few times you won't sit down for a week.

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

A supermarket worker, they’ll leave an unexpected item in your bagging area…

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

A vacuum cleaner salesman.

Because the Dyson ball cleaner is nothing but false advertising.

*although nothing sucks like an electrolux......

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

A gynaecologist. They don’t do foreplay or romance, it’s all about assuming the position and getting stuck in.

And afterwards you’ll get a report on the state of your bits.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Something something carpet fitter something bad lay something shag something...

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Something something carpet fitter something bad lay something shag something...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A painter & decorator..cause he'll just say " what do you think of it now that it's up "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Psychiatrist because they will fuck your head up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A politicion

The shame would be too much to cope with!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A milkman..he'll just say " how many do you want today love ?"

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

A cowardly soldier - he'll desert you once the shooting starts.

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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

A software engineer - they'll inevitably leave you with a bug.

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By *rMs.NeekCouple
over a year ago

Worcestershire

Fireman....

Put out your flames (of desire) with his hose...

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Sounds a bit like the veri system! Though in the School of Fab, everyone is an A* student, clearly!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Man from London. He'll take you up the tube

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

A mathematician. It's just a numbers game to them.

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By *lack charmingMan
over a year ago

Ldn town

A flooring contractor.

They will walk all over you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fisherman that reels you in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Driving instructor that teaches You many lessons

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By *ncemoreroundthesunCouple
over a year ago

A town and place not in the UK

A conspiracy theorist

Because they'll say it's fake news afterwards.

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By *ames-77Man
over a year ago

milton keynes

"A conspiracy theorist

Because they'll say it's fake news afterwards."

Fact you use the term conspiracy theorist makes you tragic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An arable farmer

All they'll want to do is plough you, drill you and plant their seed!

Livestock might want to milk you, halter you and parade on show!

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

A baker as you might get a bun in the oven.

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

a necrophiliac,

coz it will be dead boring

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By *eggieMarshmallowWoman
over a year ago

Cardiff

A landlord

Because they are the worst people in the world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An estate agent.

They sell you a dream but once inside its falling apart; creaky, musty and smells awful.

And typically an old boiler.

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By *ensualAsiansCouple
over a year ago

London

A recycling specialist

They always labelled me in specific box and pillow talk afterwards was soda pressing.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Insert the job title and then tell us why.

For example...

A teacher.

They'll probably mark you afterwards, tell you that have lots of potential and explain the areas you need to improve on if you just apply yourself.

Disclaimer... This is just for fun and not meant to be offensive to any profession.

"
you should never fuck a vampire they'll suck all the blood out right through your japs eye and then radiate lust

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By *it4uMan
over a year ago

Brighton / Eastbourne

Santa claws cos he only comes once a year for a split second.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville

A driving instructor will want to take control.

A scaffolder will want to show you his mighty erection.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

An airline pilot he'll take you to heights you've never been

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

A traffic Warden

If you aren’t finished your business and moved on with 30 mins you are going to get a fine

Marc

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By *iPythonMan
over a year ago

In my pants

Estate agent

They’ll tell you it’s bigger than it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Banker...

They'll only lose interest.

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By *red333Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

A Duck you'll get a greasy dick

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By *lutandhubbyCouple
over a year ago

west midlands

a lift engineer. its just wrong on so many levels !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Archaeologist, because they will pull out their tool to have a dig around with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A farmer...they'll try n rut you in any season....

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By *ashMan
over a year ago

Westhoughton

[Removed by poster at 05/04/23 21:04:49]

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By *ashMan
over a year ago

Westhoughton

Colorectal surgeon

U wait for months to see them.

They r only interested in ur asshole..

They will send u off to gynaecologist if u want ur pussy to be looked at as well?and u will wait for another few months

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By *ildmanYorksMan
over a year ago

Doncaster & Bembridge

A psychotherapist as he'll say it's not him you want to fuck, it's your mother

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By *ocksareoffMan
over a year ago

Out n About

A health and safety officer.

By the time you've completed the risk assessment and put all your PPE on it will be time to go home.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A health and safety officer.

By the time you've completed the risk assessment and put all your PPE on it will be time to go home. "

But we do speak Latin volenti non fit injuri

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A dentist. He’ll wear a mask and tell you to open wide, before tutting and saying you haven’t been cleaning properly.

When he’s finished he’ll ask you to rinse what he’s left in there and then hand you a bill."

But at least he'll fill your cavity

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By *rPeachPiercedPrincessCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

A pilot

They might just take off

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

a plumber

coz he will bleed your pipes

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By *hrek101Man
over a year ago

Herts

A manager at work so when you get made redundant and get asked to apply for an internal job and she is manager of that team it's better to take the money and go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A person who works in chip shop.

Probably end up with a battered sausage

(Mrs)

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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago

for a penny

Intercity train driver

Because you’ll have to go all the way before you can get off

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By *ungle777Man
over a year ago

LONDON

A cricketer - once he's in you can't get him out!

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By *ungle777Man
over a year ago

LONDON

A footballer because he always dribbles before he shoots!

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"A council road planning manager.

And you have won the internet for today.

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