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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " They don't have to give their GF money, why should they? | |||
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"I would think 'each to their own', depending on their own personal circumstances and preferences. I think most people in a serious relationship, man or woman, would want to help their partner, financially or otherwise, and it would be odd to me if he was letting his gf struggle financially when he was in a position to help (or at least offer to, as many people would refuse). But if they are not living together and have no shared children/bills, there should be no automatic expectation that she should be helping his gf financially, in my mind, if that makes sense." Maybe he knows his GF is on here too. Wouldn't give her the steam off my piss if I thought she was cheating. | |||
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"Its their choice where they live and how they choose to spend their money. Its also your choice as his gf not to continue a relationship that doesn't progress." This sums it up perfectly. If you are talking about your own situation I think you already know the answers you are looking for... | |||
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"Our son lives at home, with his girlfriend. We don't charge them rent at the moment. They buy their own food etc. We don't ask for rent because they'll never be able to rent independently if we take it off them. They're both 20....." What we always plan to do is take some off them to get them used to a chunk of there wages going. Save it up secretly. Then when they need a deposit you've got something to give them. Up to you if you tell them where it came from, or just bask in your heroism! | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " sounds a tad tight fisted to me but I am not like that. Even now, I am unemployed, If visiting, I always bring a gift ie a bottle of wine or get the takeaway in. | |||
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"Our son lives at home, with his girlfriend. We don't charge them rent at the moment. They buy their own food etc. We don't ask for rent because they'll never be able to rent independently if we take it off them. They're both 20..... What we always plan to do is take some off them to get them used to a chunk of there wages going. Save it up secretly. Then when they need a deposit you've got something to give them. Up to you if you tell them where it came from, or just bask in your heroism! " Thing is, they need to have money in their account, to evidence for referencing etc. Lots of places asking for rent to be paid upfront, at least 6 months worth | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. sounds a tad tight fisted to me but I am not like that. Even now, I am unemployed, If visiting, I always bring a gift ie a bottle of wine or get the takeaway in. " Ohh and the living at home bit. You have to know the reason 1st. 10 years ago, my dad got divorced and was made homeless, I had to take him in (yes it killed my sex life at the time) and for reasons I do not wish to say on here, he moved out 28 months later. I needed to help my dad out. he is my dad ffs. end of! But if you have a mummys boy who has never moved out. that will be a BIG red flag! | |||
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"Our son lives at home, with his girlfriend. We don't charge them rent at the moment. They buy their own food etc. We don't ask for rent because they'll never be able to rent independently if we take it off them. They're both 20..... What we always plan to do is take some off them to get them used to a chunk of there wages going. Save it up secretly. Then when they need a deposit you've got something to give them. Up to you if you tell them where it came from, or just bask in your heroism! Thing is, they need to have money in their account, to evidence for referencing etc. Lots of places asking for rent to be paid upfront, at least 6 months worth " 6 months??? I've never rented (officially) but 6 months is a bloody joke at today's rents. Almost guaranteed they won't get it all back either as the landlord suddenly sees things that need fixing that weren't there before. My brother has a house he's never even lived in (lives part time at girlfriends and mams). He rents that out via an agency and I know he couldn't give a shit as to what state it's in when he gets new tenants in. Then all of a sudden he develops "standards". | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " So a bf is supposed to pay a gf when he visits them? Is that the sentiment? | |||
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"Is this a crossover from the ‘Do Italian men have big dicks?’ thread? " Only if they live with their mums | |||
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"Is this a crossover from the ‘Do Italian men have big dicks?’ thread? Only if they live with their mums" Which many do into there forties nowadays apparently. I don't know if it's house prices, low wages or mums cooking! | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " I think that they sound like strong independent men. | |||
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"Our son lives at home, with his girlfriend. We don't charge them rent at the moment. They buy their own food etc. We don't ask for rent because they'll never be able to rent independently if we take it off them. They're both 20..... What we always plan to do is take some off them to get them used to a chunk of there wages going. Save it up secretly. Then when they need a deposit you've got something to give them. Up to you if you tell them where it came from, or just bask in your heroism! " This is what I did, the money given was saved up and given back to him when he saving up for a mortgage deposit. Was able to give him over half of the deposit he needed I also paid for his driving lessons, tests and a car when he passed, my reasoning was that driving was investing in his future. I never took money off my youngest as he stayed on at college and then straight to uni. | |||
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"Our son lives at home, with his girlfriend. We don't charge them rent at the moment. They buy their own food etc. We don't ask for rent because they'll never be able to rent independently if we take it off them. They're both 20..... What we always plan to do is take some off them to get them used to a chunk of there wages going. Save it up secretly. Then when they need a deposit you've got something to give them. Up to you if you tell them where it came from, or just bask in your heroism! This is what I did, the money given was saved up and given back to him when he saving up for a mortgage deposit. Was able to give him over half of the deposit he needed I also paid for his driving lessons, tests and a car when he passed, my reasoning was that driving was investing in his future. I never took money off my youngest as he stayed on at college and then straight to uni. " That's pretty cool | |||
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" They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " Where do they travel to ? | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . | |||
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"Where does it say a man should pay for anything? Never lead with your wallet or you'll have nothing left" Wow...great attitude | |||
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"Why should he give her money? Sorry, but she needs to earn her own. He may like living with his mum, it may help her out financially as well. Mrs " If you read the OP's post you have read that she does earn her own money. | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . " How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. " In my opinion it's mean that he's still living at home with his mum at that age and earning that kind of money, money is his God , l will never change my opinion , that he doesn't give his GF any money is his own business but everything about that type of person in my opinion is mean . | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. In my opinion it's mean that he's still living at home with his mum at that age and earning that kind of money, money is his God , l will never change my opinion , that he doesn't give his GF any money is his own business but everything about that type of person in my opinion is mean . " Maybe he's saving up a deposit for a property. | |||
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" A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . " How do you know this describes them ? They may pay for all the bills in the mother's house, food and clothes for both of them, huge TVs in the bedrooms. He might pay for fancy holidays and flash cars. | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. In my opinion it's mean that he's still living at home with his mum at that age and earning that kind of money, money is his God , l will never change my opinion , that he doesn't give his GF any money is his own business but everything about that type of person in my opinion is mean . " You don't know what kind of money he is earning though. If the partner is earning £5,000 a year then he is only on £25,000. Plus, maybe he is in massive debt. Maybe he gives his mum a bundle. Maybe he has 8 kids by an ex and pays for them. Judging even a hypothetical person badly based on pretty much no information is a bit daft. | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . " we don't know the full story.. I wouldn't allow a partner I didn't live with to give me money. I would obviously if we went out for dinner either go halves or take it in turns x | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. In my opinion it's mean that he's still living at home with his mum at that age and earning that kind of money, money is his God , l will never change my opinion , that he doesn't give his GF any money is his own business but everything about that type of person in my opinion is mean . You don't know what kind of money he is earning though. If the partner is earning £5,000 a year then he is only on £25,000. Plus, maybe he is in massive debt. Maybe he gives his mum a bundle. Maybe he has 8 kids by an ex and pays for them. Judging even a hypothetical person badly based on pretty much no information is a bit daft." A bit daft ??? are you joking me ..who works @ 40 hour a week for £100 as you have said ..it's even less tbh ..£5000 ÷52 .. anyway..l have my opinion on what was said..it said nothing about kids etc ..read the post again and come up with an answer on what was said and asked NOT all this hypothetical stuff that you yourself have come up with. .jeez... | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. In my opinion it's mean that he's still living at home with his mum at that age and earning that kind of money, money is his God , l will never change my opinion , that he doesn't give his GF any money is his own business but everything about that type of person in my opinion is mean . You don't know what kind of money he is earning though. If the partner is earning £5,000 a year then he is only on £25,000. Plus, maybe he is in massive debt. Maybe he gives his mum a bundle. Maybe he has 8 kids by an ex and pays for them. Judging even a hypothetical person badly based on pretty much no information is a bit daft. A bit daft ??? are you joking me ..who works @ 40 hour a week for £100 as you have said ..it's even less tbh ..£5000 ÷52 .. anyway..l have my opinion on what was said..it said nothing about kids etc ..read the post again and come up with an answer on what was said and asked NOT all this hypothetical stuff that you yourself have come up with. .jeez..." No one said that either of them are qorking a 40 hour week either. I gave my answer earlier | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. A few words that describes them ..mean..tight..frugal.. absolutely hate those type of people..it's one of the worst traits anyone can have ..being mean . How’s it mean? We don’t really know the full story here either. Does the girlfriend/partner have his children? I don’t get why someone should be expected to give a girlfriend money. In my opinion it's mean that he's still living at home with his mum at that age and earning that kind of money, money is his God , l will never change my opinion , that he doesn't give his GF any money is his own business but everything about that type of person in my opinion is mean . " He might be looking after his mum? None of us knows why hesliving with his mum nor any financial arrangements they may have. Why anyone would then expect him to pay for his girlfriend is peculiar. | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " What do you think op? | |||
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"Is he a actual partner or a sugar daddy? I'd be a bit miffed if I was dating someone and they expected me to give them money for seeing them " She certainly sounds a bit entitled. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together." Why isn't she working? | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together." If this woman is unhappy with the situation she should talk to him about it. | |||
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"What do you folks think of guys, who earn quite a considerable amount of money, still living with their mums into their 30’s and 40’s? Who visit their gf/partner but doesnt give them any money? (Gf earns 5x less than he does). They do pay for all travel costs though but thats it. " I think if that works for them then that works for them | |||
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"Health reasons" Is she claiming the. necessary benefits? Single persons Council Tax? Etc. Just because he earns more than her that does not mean he is obligated to give her money. Her issues are her issues. They are not married. They are not living together. Presumably he was living at home when they met and has continued to do so since they were together so she knew what she was getting into. Can she afford to pay her share of a holiday or does she expect him to pay for them both? It sounds, to be honest, that there is a bit of bitterness that he has money and she doesn’t. And if the relationship hasn’t progressed into something more meaningful by now, it is unlikely to. They don’t sound well matched. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together." Wherever reasons he does what he does is totally up to him and everyone here was asked their opinion and l gave mine l was asked my opinion of what l thought and my opinion will not change a person that behaves like this is , to me , mean, and l personally would not have anything to do with a mean person , people can give and have their own opinion and that's mine ...mean is mean . | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together. Wherever reasons he does what he does is totally up to him and everyone here was asked their opinion and l gave mine l was asked my opinion of what l thought and my opinion will not change a person that behaves like this is , to me , mean, and l personally would not have anything to do with a mean person , people can give and have their own opinion and that's mine ...mean is mean ." Some nice judgement there. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together. Wherever reasons he does what he does is totally up to him and everyone here was asked their opinion and l gave mine l was asked my opinion of what l thought and my opinion will not change a person that behaves like this is , to me , mean, and l personally would not have anything to do with a mean person , people can give and have their own opinion and that's mine ...mean is mean . Some nice judgement there. " I am also still trying to work out what exactly is mean | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together. Wherever reasons he does what he does is totally up to him and everyone here was asked their opinion and l gave mine l was asked my opinion of what l thought and my opinion will not change a person that behaves like this is , to me , mean, and l personally would not have anything to do with a mean person , people can give and have their own opinion and that's mine ...mean is mean . Some nice judgement there. I am also still trying to work out what exactly is mean " Tight fisted I believe is the intended meaning here. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together. Wherever reasons he does what he does is totally up to him and everyone here was asked their opinion and l gave mine l was asked my opinion of what l thought and my opinion will not change a person that behaves like this is , to me , mean, and l personally would not have anything to do with a mean person , people can give and have their own opinion and that's mine ...mean is mean . Some nice judgement there. I am also still trying to work out what exactly is mean Tight fisted I believe is the intended meaning here." How is being tight fisted mean as a whole? Not being generous is not mean. People value money differently, some will spend it on anything and everything as soon as they get it, others keep it tight and save for varied reasons. It can be used for mean, abusive, and methods with intent to take advantage and control, but being tight with our own money is not a mean trait. Which this particular poster reference as being further up not involving this specific situation at all but as a trait in general. You need many facts surrounding a situation to determine the intent and reasoning to not give somebody money. I offered to help an ex out with a few things and it caused a rift that I asked - it has made me question about offering to others. If they ask I very likely will help. But they may be too proud or embarrassed/ashamed to ask for help. So right there if neither asks nor offers it's a stalemate. The context surrounding a particular scenario is what makes it mean, not the trait itself. Very case by case. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together." You seem extremely invested in this couples relationship. So much so you write a thread about them, divulging a lot of personal information in regards living arrangements financial situations etc. If it was me I'd hate a friend to be discussing me on a fabswingers public forum. So what are you going to do with all this advice, are you going back to her and share the opinions here? Are you trying to solve your friends relationship and financial problems. Part of me thinks it is you that is "the friend" in this story because why else have you so much information about earnings etc. So are we all here discussing your relationship and not someone else. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together." I don't see why she would expect him to pay it's his money he works for it. If he wants to help her out that is fine if he doesn't then he doesn't have to. How do you know he isn't saving for anything or paying lots of other bills and more so why is it any of your actual business if it's not your relationship.If she is that unhappy then she should break up with him or at least talk to him rather than give out about him to others.If it is just a friend you are taking about you only have one side of the story anyhow. | |||
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"He pays mum £300 per month. Mum looks after him (no husband now). He has a big flash car, long distance relationship, several years together, no kids together, she isnt working, his salary is 50k. He is at gf sometimes for a week at a time. She used to pay for most of the food but with how things are now, they each pay for their food. She is struggling with bills but doesnt expect money all the time, just a bit here and there to help out. He isnt saving for anything and they’ve had no holidays together. Wherever reasons he does what he does is totally up to him and everyone here was asked their opinion and l gave mine l was asked my opinion of what l thought and my opinion will not change a person that behaves like this is , to me , mean, and l personally would not have anything to do with a mean person , people can give and have their own opinion and that's mine ...mean is mean . Some nice judgement there. I am also still trying to work out what exactly is mean Tight fisted I believe is the intended meaning here. How is being tight fisted mean as a whole? Not being generous is not mean. People value money differently, some will spend it on anything and everything as soon as they get it, others keep it tight and save for varied reasons. It can be used for mean, abusive, and methods with intent to take advantage and control, but being tight with our own money is not a mean trait. Which this particular poster reference as being further up not involving this specific situation at all but as a trait in general. You need many facts surrounding a situation to determine the intent and reasoning to not give somebody money. I offered to help an ex out with a few things and it caused a rift that I asked - it has made me question about offering to others. If they ask I very likely will help. But they may be too proud or embarrassed/ashamed to ask for help. So right there if neither asks nor offers it's a stalemate. The context surrounding a particular scenario is what makes it mean, not the trait itself. Very case by case. " Yep, makes perfect sense. I said earlier in the post that she sounds a little entitled and should have some of his money. Maybe she’d prefer a sugar daddy? | |||
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