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"It’s a good filter to know who to block " Yes defo this, I mean I was never going to entertain a meet. I just explained I wasn’t into his preferences then all of a sudden my ass is too big hahhah. | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " Cause hey have a God's gift Complex, that tells them every women wants them, and would be fortunate to have them... so there fragile falsely propped up ego, is challenged and bruised. Resulting in rejection, which then they don't have to emotional intelligence to manage internally, so they act out in abuse to make themselves feel better about themselves | |||
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"Seriously I wouldn't even turn them down, just ignore if not interested" This. Sometimes replying isn't worth it. Just delete the message and if you're 100% sure you'll never be interested in them add a block too. You don't owe anyone anything on Fab, least of all a reply. A | |||
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" And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " I like women who take it on their chin…. | |||
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"Have this all the time Normally you can just laugh it off, but had one over the weekend that definitely should not be left alone with a woman ever Was very scary" It just baffles me sometimes the entitlement, like you must like them back. We are not all going to like who likes us vice versa. Some humans! That sounds very worrying! I hope it’s being looked into! | |||
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"Seriously I wouldn't even turn them down, just ignore if not interested This. Sometimes replying isn't worth it. Just delete the message and if you're 100% sure you'll never be interested in them add a block too. You don't owe anyone anything on Fab, least of all a reply. A" I’m learning lol sometimes I’m too nice and try to explain. I mean my profile does state what I’m into and after I pointed that out he was a douche! | |||
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"Fuck em, well not literally you actually turned em down for that. In all seriousness it seems you were right to turn them down. After all nobody wants to hook up with rude immature children. It cost nothing to be polite, " That’s what made me angry I tired to explain he wasn’t my preference then told me I was discriminating then got abusive immediately. Think he has some internal shizen to work on lol. | |||
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"In my experience, it's not Men that is the problem, it's ego's, and they aren't gender specific. So, a damaged ego is the problem. It's a reflection upon themselves. " Yeah females can be just as nasty when they been turned down had one a while back said no thanks and she made out she was just doing us a favour because we ugly and she felt sorry for us made us chuckle | |||
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"Fuck em, well not literally you actually turned em down for that. In all seriousness it seems you were right to turn them down. After all nobody wants to hook up with rude immature children. It cost nothing to be polite, That’s what made me angry I tired to explain he wasn’t my preference then told me I was discriminating then got abusive immediately. Think he has some internal shizen to work on lol. " The fact you took the time to explain your preference and he still gave you abuse makes it worse. And then guys wonder why women don't reply to msgs... | |||
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" And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s I like women who take it on their chin…." Chin first then the mouth right? | |||
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"Not all guys that way...but yeah... I have serious shit in my messages at times. Do I give a shit?nope... makes me laugh really." I'm fortunate not to receive to many irate messages in my inbox. But seeing guys do it in the forums is always funny. | |||
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"Yes. It’s because they can’t handle the rejection. But also be aware just how skewed this environment is compared to the real world. I know this opinion won’t be popular and I’ll probably be vilified for saying it but the normal order of things is out of whack here. Any woman can get attention in here and make demands and have a whole list of wants and needs that they would like fulfilled by a messaging guy. And rightly so. We all know what we like and what we don’t and what we want. However. For a guy on here just to get a message read is an absolute mission. I’m sure if you’re messaging women and getting rejected on a regular basis it can be frustrating and soul destroying. I’m not for a second saying that abusive behaviour should be required or accepted but the odds here greatly favour the fairer sex. It’s hard for guys in here because there are so many idiots trying it on with shallow requests and generic copied and pasted messages. I’ve had women message me that I wouldn’t consider meeting and I’ve actually ended up very friendly with some. Connections aren’t just about the sex. Turning people down because you don’t fancy them means you could miss out on a good friend. " I understand that point of view and can appreciate it must be frustrating but most people are on here for fun and flirts and I’d rather know if someone wasn’t attracted to me (for whatever reason) as soon as possible = no wasted energy. I wouldn’t want a friend like him trust me, he probably could do with some though might make him a better human. | |||
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"Not all guys that way...but yeah... I have serious shit in my messages at times. Do I give a shit?nope... makes me laugh really." I have laughed don’t get me wrong and I don’t give a shit as I love my fat ass as do most but just wanted to throw it out there. Might make one human improve their behaviour or at least think about it hahaha | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " More than likely transference of emotion. The humiliation/rejection/disappointment/bruised ego turns into anger and they lash out, very much like a child who cannot control their emotions. Rather than accept it as something normal and natural, they choose to act out in a way that they would never do face to face but feel ‘brave’ enough to do it online because there are no consequences. | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " Probably because they're just thinking with their wee brains... No means no, deal with the rejection properly cuntchops. | |||
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"Because if they insult you, you may change your mind and decide you need to sleep with them " This made me giggle | |||
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"I find couples are just as bad and tend to be even worse when it comes to not being bothered to read our profile." I mean I get some people don’t bother too much with a profile but surely they check it. I always check to make sure the basics are aligned. Honestly humans! X | |||
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"I've never had that in all my time on fab but that is mostly because I exercise the block button quite often." I’m defo going to use it more often and stop trying to be too nice lol x | |||
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"I find couples are just as bad and tend to be even worse when it comes to not being bothered to read our profile. I mean I get some people don’t bother too much with a profile but surely they check it. I always check to make sure the basics are aligned. Honestly humans! X" Yep humans can be irksome indeed | |||
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"I think rejection is one of the hardest and most complex emotions to deal with, because it can feel like it goes to the core of 'you' which is therefore very threatening. You have to be very emotionally secure to just deal with it as related to a specific situation and, as others have pointed out, that maturity can be uncommon." I think everyone can be insecure but you can’t take it to personally like I said you are not going to always like who likes you. It’s not like it’s someone you wanted to marry or anything lol it’s not that serious | |||
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"I find couples are just as bad and tend to be even worse when it comes to not being bothered to read our profile. I mean I get some people don’t bother too much with a profile but surely they check it. I always check to make sure the basics are aligned. Honestly humans! X Yep humans can be irksome indeed " Daily I say fucking humans! Can’t wait for the Aliens to take over to be honest | |||
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"I find couples are just as bad and tend to be even worse when it comes to not being bothered to read our profile. I mean I get some people don’t bother too much with a profile but surely they check it. I always check to make sure the basics are aligned. Honestly humans! X" They’re the worst! :D | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s More than likely transference of emotion. The humiliation/rejection/disappointment/bruised ego turns into anger and they lash out, very much like a child who cannot control their emotions. Rather than accept it as something normal and natural, they choose to act out in a way that they would never do face to face but feel ‘brave’ enough to do it online because there are no consequences. " While I agree, in some cases years of rejection can take its toll, it can break you. It is not in any way a valid accuse for being abusive, but it is a reason for why some will do it. People dismiss rejection like it is simple. For some it is, for some it's not. I have spoken to a fair few women that don't reach out and search, make the first move etc because they don't want to be rejected, so they don't put themselves out there like that. Eventually for those that have rejection issues, rejection either breaks you or you become numb to it. | |||
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"It’s a good filter to know who to block Yes defo this, I mean I was never going to entertain a meet. I just explained I wasn’t into his preferences then all of a sudden my ass is too big hahhah." Is a woman's ass ever really "too big"? I like something to hold | |||
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"I think rejection is one of the hardest and most complex emotions to deal with, because it can feel like it goes to the core of 'you' which is therefore very threatening. You have to be very emotionally secure to just deal with it as related to a specific situation and, as others have pointed out, that maturity can be uncommon. I think everyone can be insecure but you can’t take it to personally like I said you are not going to always like who likes you. It’s not like it’s someone you wanted to marry or anything lol it’s not that serious " I know, this bit is meant to be fun, right?! I've had to think about this a lot recently because I'm recently divorced, she initiated, and that's a really big rejection. I now find myself gearing up for rejection too early, like before I've even met someone. Like I said, it's a really complex emotion and can be confusing especially if you're not very self aware to start with! Not that lashing out is acceptable, btw, just thinking about the causes. | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " I think it has something to do with the most fragile substance known to mankind, that is the male ego. One word can shatter it to a million pieces, thats why they act the way they do sadly. | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " Didn't you get the memo? It's because every woman on Fab is here just for them and should be grateful they show interest... That's what they think anyway. Hope you are ok | |||
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"I find couples are just as bad and tend to be even worse when it comes to not being bothered to read our profile. I mean I get some people don’t bother too much with a profile but surely they check it. I always check to make sure the basics are aligned. Honestly humans! X Yep humans can be irksome indeed Daily I say fucking humans! Can’t wait for the Aliens to take over to be honest " You are gorgeous. I'd take it as a compliment that you even took the time to reject me and not just ignore completely if I was them x | |||
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"I find couples are just as bad and tend to be even worse when it comes to not being bothered to read our profile. I mean I get some people don’t bother too much with a profile but surely they check it. I always check to make sure the basics are aligned. Honestly humans! X Yep humans can be irksome indeed ! Daily I say fucking humans! Can’t wait for the Aliens to take over to be honest " same although I reckon they're already here and they'll do a pretty good job too I think! | |||
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" And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s I like women who take it on their chin…. Chin first then the mouth right? " I’m still working on my aim. | |||
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"Because if they insult you, you may change your mind and decide you need to sleep with them " I often reply and say oh yes I'd love to shag them. They get all excited and apologise. I do not shag them. | |||
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"I get this constantly! So many messages with pictures of cavernous crevices and saying “Felix, you’re so hot - give me pretend babies!!” I used to say “Thanks, but I only like cuddling, it’s just my preference” and immediately I would get back abuse. Now I ignore all the women because some can be soooooo childish. Sorry, couldn’t help it In all seriousness, I wonder if the reason is that these men have had literally 200 rejections with no recourse. Then, as soon as you respond and open a dialogue (of sorts), that gives them a release valve. You then get 201 rejections worth of angst that has bottled up, all in one go. Clearly I’m not excusing or condoning it, just trying to understand if there’s more psychology at play than just childishness. Just a thought " I think you're right. It's like the last straw. Probably 0 replies from 200 messages that they sent, then a yellow inbox of hope.... "no thanks" aarrgghhhhh | |||
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"Because if they insult you, you may change your mind and decide you need to sleep with them I often reply and say oh yes I'd love to shag them. They get all excited and apologise. I do not shag them. " I'd shag you under an Appletree F | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " Chins!!! Just ignore the losers. | |||
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"I get this constantly! So many messages with pictures of cavernous crevices and saying “Felix, you’re so hot - give me pretend babies!!” I used to say “Thanks, but I only like cuddling, it’s just my preference” and immediately I would get back abuse. Now I ignore all the women because some can be soooooo childish. Sorry, couldn’t help it In all seriousness, I wonder if the reason is that these men have had literally 200 rejections with no recourse. Then, as soon as you respond and open a dialogue (of sorts), that gives them a release valve. You then get 201 rejections worth of angst that has bottled up, all in one go. Clearly I’m not excusing or condoning it, just trying to understand if there’s more psychology at play than just childishness. Just a thought " Very well could be but I mean if you’re going to copy paste a message to 200 women a day then you’re not really looking for someone to ‘match’ with. Even the basics of checking a profile for something like just want ‘straight men’ and you’re very much Bi then surely you wouldn’t even message the typical ‘fancy a shag’ . | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " because they have no spine unfortunately OP, so many men need to man up with accepting rejection xxx | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s Didn't you get the memo? It's because every woman on Fab is here just for them and should be grateful they show interest... That's what they think anyway. Hope you are ok" Oh I’m fine I just thought it might be a good topic for males and females alike to explore the etiquette of taking rejection and not being a complete bellend about it hahaha | |||
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"I get this constantly! So many messages with pictures of cavernous crevices and saying “Felix, you’re so hot - give me pretend babies!!” I used to say “Thanks, but I only like cuddling, it’s just my preference” and immediately I would get back abuse. Now I ignore all the women because some can be soooooo childish. Sorry, couldn’t help it In all seriousness, I wonder if the reason is that these men have had literally 200 rejections with no recourse. Then, as soon as you respond and open a dialogue (of sorts), that gives them a release valve. You then get 201 rejections worth of angst that has bottled up, all in one go. Clearly I’m not excusing or condoning it, just trying to understand if there’s more psychology at play than just childishness. Just a thought Very well could be but I mean if you’re going to copy paste a message to 200 women a day then you’re not really looking for someone to ‘match’ with. Even the basics of checking a profile for something like just want ‘straight men’ and you’re very much Bi then surely you wouldn’t even message the typical ‘fancy a shag’ . " Haha I didn’t mean 200 in one day - that really would be ridiculous!!! I was thinking of someone who messages maybe 4-5 people a day and it builds up over a few weeks, so they’re really stewing. As I say, it doesn’t excuse anything less than walking away or a polite “thanks for responding”. Just putting thoughts out there as to the psychology behind it. | |||
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"I normally take it in my mouth, not my chin. Cake that is ." dam was getting excited you meant a cock and cumload then | |||
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"In my experience, it's not Men that is the problem, it's ego's, and they aren't gender specific. So, a damaged ego is the problem. It's a reflection upon themselves. " This.. | |||
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" And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s I like women who take it on their chin…." I prefer it dribble down onto the chin….. | |||
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"I normally take it in my mouth, not my chin. Cake that is . dam was getting excited you meant a cock and cumload then " Give me 30 minutes - just trying to decide how best to reply to this | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " I had one last night. Got very personal telling me all the reasons he doubted I ever for any interest...yet a few messages before he was begging for a meet | |||
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"I don’t answer if I’m not interested. I just delete and block. Never had any abuse " That is a great strategy,, one can not be pelted with stones , if there is no stones to throw | |||
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"Because their children and can’t handle rejection Basically this ^ Unable to express their emotions in a considered, rational manner. And also unable to understand that, the immediate switch from ‘God you’re fit’ to ‘You’re ugly anyway’ says more about them, than anyone else…" Simply stunning Redfordanger x | |||
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"Let me get this right so I don’t cause offence. You started a thread to ask men to mail you just so you can reject them and test the response? I would say that some don’t handle it properly because of a sense of entitlement something you should consider as well OP Marc " Well you’re wrong for starters! No offence taken I wanted to get some perspectives and open up the convo so maybe humans can be better people in life. Clearly it happens quite a bit and clearly I just need to use the block button a bit more. New here. | |||
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"Let me get this right so I don’t cause offence. You started a thread to ask men to mail you just so you can reject them and test the response? I would say that some don’t handle it properly because of a sense of entitlement something you should consider as well OP Marc Well you’re wrong for starters! No offence taken I wanted to get some perspectives and open up the convo so maybe humans can be better people in life. Clearly it happens quite a bit and clearly I just need to use the block button a bit more. New here." Then I will revert to my answer that there is a great sense of entitlement from many people on fab and that is when they become defensive as the wrong buttons have been pushed. There is a reason why so many say they don’t respond and don’t even open the message to read and it’s because of this. I wouldn’t say it was limited to just males though though obviously it shows through more clearly Marc | |||
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"Let me get this right so I don’t cause offence. You started a thread to ask men to mail you just so you can reject them and test the response? I would say that some don’t handle it properly because of a sense of entitlement something you should consider as well OP Marc Well you’re wrong for starters! No offence taken I wanted to get some perspectives and open up the convo so maybe humans can be better people in life. Clearly it happens quite a bit and clearly I just need to use the block button a bit more. New here. Then I will revert to my answer that there is a great sense of entitlement from many people on fab and that is when they become defensive as the wrong buttons have been pushed. There is a reason why so many say they don’t respond and don’t even open the message to read and it’s because of this. I wouldn’t say it was limited to just males though though obviously it shows through more clearly Marc" Definitely not limited to males but personally I just could never imagine being rejected then responding with abuse. I’d just take it on the chin. I’m also a great believer that everything/everyone happens for a reason and the old age saying of what’s is for you will not pass you. | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s " Generally OP I find it’s because they’re thinking with their little head rather than their big one. Either way I find it utterly hilarious | |||
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"Why when you turn a man down for whatever reason, he then wants to be abusive ….. only encountered 2 so far so I think I’m doing well but seriously grow up. And to all the men who take it on the chin, I salute you good Sir’s Generally OP I find it’s because they’re thinking with their little head rather than their big one. Either way I find it utterly hilarious " The real truth is they are so big headed they really do think that all women want them and just them. Like loads have said if they cant handle the fact not all women fancy them, then they really are not true swingers,but chancers and will be gorn in a puff. | |||
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"Fuck em, well not literally you actually turned em down for that. In all seriousness it seems you were right to turn them down. After all nobody wants to hook up with rude immature children. It cost nothing to be polite, That’s what made me angry I tired to explain he wasn’t my preference then told me I was discriminating then got abusive immediately. Think he has some internal shizen to work on lol. " You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You can just say no, or mark unread and ignore/delete/block. | |||
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