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"Dear sister jennie My sins are to numerous to list. I fear that I will go straight to hell. Help me save my soul Wonko the shameful " Wonko my child. A repentant sinner is another soul saved. Your penance shall be a dozen hail hairys and quench thine offending member in the miraculous fountain of Saint Ricksawed the Odorous. | |||
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"Dear Jennie, can you please tell Wonko I don't accomodate "But Wonko the Repentant has sought absolution. Is it not our duty to accommodate those on the path to purity? | |||
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Can my soul be salvaged? | |||
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"Dear Jennie, can you please tell Wonko I don't accomodate "Guess I'm destined for limbo | |||
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"Sister Jennie, I have a nun fetish. Forgive me. I am ashamed. Fancy a fuck?" Temptation! Get thee behind me you impure harvester of souls. (And whilst you're there ....) | |||
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"Sister Jennie, I have a nun fetish. Forgive me. I am ashamed. Fancy a fuck? Temptation! Get thee behind me you impure harvester of souls. (And whilst you're there ....)" 
Mmmm... souls | |||
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"Forgive me Sister for I have sinned most egregiously. I always fall asleep mid-sexting instead of leaving people holy satisfied. " The sin of sloth is a sin indeed. A dozen unsolicited photos of your heretical clunge sent to a dozen fabsters will cleanse the stain of sin from your soul. | |||
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"Oh Sister Jennie, I fear I have committed adultery. I had a pack of hot and spicy monster munch earlier
Can my soul be salvaged? "My child ... that is just snack swinging. Assuming of course the pickled onion ones have a cuckold fetish? | |||
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"Forgive me Sister for I have sinned most egregiously. I always fall asleep mid-sexting instead of leaving people holy satisfied. The sin of sloth is a sin indeed. A dozen unsolicited photos of your heretical clunge sent to a dozen fabsters will cleanse the stain of sin from your soul." Oh thank you Sister Jennie, I am so relieved. Should I shave first or is five years' growth plus cobwebs ok? | |||
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"I just got back from walking the dog and she did a liquid poo on a football pitch I was unable to pick up, I didn't have a bottle of water so did my best to wash it away by weeing on it. Until the guys playing football chased me off. How can I make amends for whatever sin that is? " Abandoning the leavings of the family pet is bad enough. To do so on a playing field is an abomination in the sight of the supreme being of Fab. Smear thy willy with bovril and stand naked in the local dog pound. That should focus your mind. Hallelujah | |||
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"Dear Jennie. First time writer, long time admirer. I engaged in absolutely hideous filthy talk with someone I am seeing next weekend. The things I said I wanted whilst rubbing myself into ecstasy are far too filthy for me to go through with. How do I politely tell him that the things said near orgasm are no reflection on who I am as a shagger. Kind regards, A-soon-to-be shell of a woman. " My child. The throes of pre orgasmic ecstasy are the conduit for religious enlightenment. You have been touched by revelation (as well as by your own greasy fingers). To reject such almighty I sight is to turn away from the cleansing light! . Or. You could just say the car broke down and not turn up. | |||
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"Forgive me Sister for I have sinned most egregiously. I always fall asleep mid-sexting instead of leaving people holy satisfied. The sin of sloth is a sin indeed. A dozen unsolicited photos of your heretical clunge sent to a dozen fabsters will cleanse the stain of sin from your soul. Oh thank you Sister Jennie, I am so relieved. Should I shave first or is five years' growth plus cobwebs ok? " Come as you are. And welcome back to the flock. | |||
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"I just got back from walking the dog and she did a liquid poo on a football pitch I was unable to pick up, I didn't have a bottle of water so did my best to wash it away by weeing on it. Until the guys playing football chased me off. How can I make amends for whatever sin that is? Abandoning the leavings of the family pet is bad enough. To do so on a playing field is an abomination in the sight of the supreme being of Fab. Smear thy willy with bovril and stand naked in the local dog pound. That should focus your mind. Hallelujah " Hot or cold Bovril? | |||
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"Forgive me Sister for I have sinned most egregiously. I always fall asleep mid-sexting instead of leaving people holy satisfied. The sin of sloth is a sin indeed. A dozen unsolicited photos of your heretical clunge sent to a dozen fabsters will cleanse the stain of sin from your soul. Oh thank you Sister Jennie, I am so relieved. Should I shave first or is five years' growth plus cobwebs ok? Come as you are. And welcome back to the flock." Bless you Sister Jennie Talia. I'm so overcome with emotion now. I've written a Trustpilot review nominating you for sainthood. | |||
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"Sisters in the Catholic faith can't hear confessions.....so, Is there a Daddy, sorry Father, that I can slip into a booth with?... "This is the Blessed Church of the Immaculate Fab. We are an equal opportunity cult. | |||
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"I just got back from walking the dog and she did a liquid poo on a football pitch I was unable to pick up, I didn't have a bottle of water so did my best to wash it away by weeing on it. Until the guys playing football chased me off. How can I make amends for whatever sin that is? Abandoning the leavings of the family pet is bad enough. To do so on a playing field is an abomination in the sight of the supreme being of Fab. Smear thy willy with bovril and stand naked in the local dog pound. That should focus your mind. Hallelujah Hot or cold Bovril? " Just straight from the pot. Undiluted and pure. | |||
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"Sister Jennie … what if I don’t *want* to save my mortal soul? I’ve worked quite hard at getting it tarnished. My soul has a good patina going." A patina is good for antique furniture. Your soul, however, should gleam like a beacon in the night. Repent for the end is nigh So sayeth Fab | |||
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"Forgive me sister for I have sinned. I struggle to get aroused anymore & always looking to put off sex lately. "Rub thy flaccid member with the holy oil of Saint A_elia the Easy. That will revive your fervour. When you are once again standing proud, meet me out the back of the vestry | |||
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"I smell sin. It's reek is ripe within mine nostrils. I hear the screams of unrepentant soils tortured for eternity. Save your souls before it is too late!" You already sent them all to the miraculous fountain of Saint Ricksawed the Odorous. I sorted them out  | |||
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"I smell sin. It's reek is ripe within mine nostrils. I hear the screams of unrepentant soils tortured for eternity. Save your souls before it is too late!" Did you read the instructions on the eau de sin? Not to be inserted into nostrils | |||
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"I smell sin. It's reek is ripe within mine nostrils. I hear the screams of unrepentant soils tortured for eternity. Save your souls before it is too late! You already sent them all to the miraculous fountain of Saint Ricksawed the Odorous. I sorted them out "I still detect the taint of it on the air | |||
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"I smell sin. It's reek is ripe within mine nostrils. I hear the screams of unrepentant soils tortured for eternity. Save your souls before it is too late! Did you read the instructions on the eau de sin? Not to be inserted into nostrils " Oh. Now you mention it .... | |||
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"Sister Jennie Talia of the Convent of FAF is in the confessional. Confess your sins and beg absolution. Suitable penances will be handed out for the sake of your mortal soul. Amen" Dear sister Jennie, Bless me for I have sinned. I have been having impure thoughts about a certain nun. I get myself into a frenzy every time I think of her wimple, I get twitches of desire every time I think about her stockings under the habit. God himself would be ashamed if he knew what I wanted to do to your, I mean her, scullery….. | |||
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"Sister Jennie Talia of the Convent of FAF is in the confessional. Confess your sins and beg absolution. Suitable penances will be handed out for the sake of your mortal soul. Amen" There's not enough time to confess mine tbh. | |||
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"Sister Jennie Talia of the Convent of FAF is in the confessional. Confess your sins and beg absolution. Suitable penances will be handed out for the sake of your mortal soul. Amen Dear sister Jennie, Bless me for I have sinned. I have been having impure thoughts about a certain nun. I get myself into a frenzy every time I think of her wimple, I get twitches of desire every time I think about her stockings under the habit. God himself would be ashamed if he knew what I wanted to do to your, I mean her, scullery….." Oh thank Fab that you have sought the absolution you need in time. Just nip in here under my lectern and ... ooh yes... thats right. Just there. Halle-fucking-lujah | |||
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"My soul has turned green what does that mean? " It means you are not the messiah. You are a very naughty boy. | |||
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"My soul has turned green what does that mean? It means you are not the messiah. You are a very naughty boy." Does this mean that I finally get spanked? | |||
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"I think my soul the poltergeist over took it as a child when in my presence I'm not normal I'm not human "There is still a chance. Prostrate thyself before me that I may anoint thee with my holy unction. | |||
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"My soul has turned green what does that mean? It means you are not the messiah. You are a very naughty boy. Does this mean that I finally get spanked? " We prefer the term flagellate | |||
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"My soul has turned green what does that mean? It means you are not the messiah. You are a very naughty boy. Does this mean that I finally get spanked? We prefer the term flagellate" | |||
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"Forgive me Sister Jennie Talia of the Convent of Faf for I have sinned - I've fallen prey to a sin repeatedly recently and fear my soul is to be stuck in awful storms for eternity to come. Is there any salvation for a woman struck with Lust?" Expose thyself to the very worst that lust can throw at thee. I don't like the term 'lost cause but ... | |||
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"I think my soul the poltergeist over took it as a child when in my presence I'm not normal I'm not human
There is still a chance.
Prostrate thyself before me that I may anoint thee with my holy unction."I'm possessed even the one whom read my palm saw it | |||
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"Forgive me sister Jenny but I don't want to be saved. I don't want to spend eternity with angelic women and praying virgins. I want to go where the bad boys and girls end up "Where they stick burning matches under your toe nails and and stick hot teaspoons on the back of your hand when you don't expect it? | |||
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