FabSwingers.com forum: The other meaning of fb

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just had a friend request on Facebook ( yes I know but It's a guilty pleasure of mine) that's not too unusual you think but wait the guys from here and found me and requested me, now do you think it's wrong that he's now blocked? Or would you consider it ok to contact through Facebook?

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By *issHottieBottieWoman
over a year ago

Kent

I have one person from here on FB but we saw each other a fair few times and he's pretty local and he asked first.

If someone just hunted me down and requested I'd find that a bit creepy x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do not have any swinging friends as facebook friends and I've deliberately kept it that way as most of my friends & family don't know I'm a bisexual swinger. I'd be mortified if someone posted on my timeline about something they knew about in my swinging activities so no, you're not wrong to block. He should have been more tactful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldnt dream of contacting through facebook unless you were actually friends. I agree with your decision to block. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely that would fall under the.new."stalking" laws?

Block him... maybe report him..

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I've got a few people from here as friends on facebook, but with the exception of 1 I have met them all several times and strange as it may seem they don't go on about swinging on their profile or on any posts I'm associated with lol

However I know that some people are jott keen on the 2 sites crossing over so really it'sup to you hhow to react when someone tries to add you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/13 09:01:40]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just had a friend request on Facebook ( yes I know but It's a guilty pleasure of mine) that's not too unusual you think but wait the guys from here and found me and requested me, now do you think it's wrong that he's now blocked? Or would you consider it ok to contact through Facebook? "

NO! NO! NO! We would NEVER have anyone from here as friends on Bookface!!! The two sites work in completely different ways and, with how Facebook has been developed further and further as a marketing tool for business allowing access to your email contacts etc the potential for having your life totally ruined by someone who suddenly turns nasty has massively increased over the last two years. I am no longer on Facebook because of this (Crackling is, but for reasons associated with her disabled daughter) and my life is soooo much easy as a result!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can be dangerous to mix the two if you don't want family and friends to know your a swinger.

I'd never contact someone from here on facebook without their consent first .

If someone from here went to the trouble of tracking you down on facebook or Twitter I'd be worried as to ask "why" .......

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We've only chatted two or three times on here never met the guy, and as we're a couple just found it strange he's requested me ( miss giggles) but not my oh. Plus we have family photos (kids etc) on face book I'm glad all that's friends only, kind of creeped me out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have two friends from here on Facebook. But it was discussed first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't mix the two. Fb is for friends n family. That's my vanilla life. Here is for my sexy side. Heaven forbid the two get mixed up. I'd not be happy if someone search me out on fb. Would definitely get blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to have facebook, my parents live in Spain and I have family throughout Europe.

Anyone from here or any other site I use would get blocked in a heartbeat if they tried to add me on facebook.

I have my settings so tight, as I use facebook to let my family see pictures of my kids etc. Not something I would show a stranger period.

That is creepy, stalker behaviour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why i come off Face book , My familys there and see everything and i was getting loads wishing to add me from here ... so i come off .. and i dont like everyone knowing everthing i do.

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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago

sheffield

What is facebook????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have a few friends on here that are friends on facebook however i set up another account to deal with this, that way it keeps my family life separate to this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why i come off Face book , My familys there and see everything and i was getting loads wishing to add me from here ... so i come off .. and i dont like everyone knowing everthing i do. "

Good move, Jo.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

To friend request you on Facebook without a message or conversation first is out of order.

I'm FB friends with two ladies off Fab (both of whom I have never played with) and one couple (who I played with once). All of them I trust, and all of them are descreet.

It is not something I encourage.

In this case I would politely tell him you are uncomfortable with it and ask him to back off. If he pushes then block him on FB and Fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be blocking them too, like many have said facebook is for friends and family, some people don't seem to be able to differentiate between fab and facebook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does anyone from here add you to Facebook with out knowing your surname? I thought that you needed first name, surname and location!

I have 1 person from here on my Facebook but that has nothing to do with swinging and it's never mentioned on there, we are friends on there as we share the same hobby and have been mates for well over a year!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do not have any swinging friends as facebook friends and I've deliberately kept it that way as most of my friends & family don't know I'm a bisexual swinger. I'd be mortified if someone posted on my timeline about something they knew about in my swinging activities so no, you're not wrong to block. He should have been more tactful."

This, I'd never have anyone from here on fb.

That is completely separate to this and a part of my life I do not want any cross over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How does anyone from here add you to Facebook with out knowing your surname? I thought that you needed first name, surname and location!

Email address

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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago

In Your Bush

"How does anyone from here add you to Facebook with out knowing your surname? I thought that you needed first name, surname and location!

Email address

Or mobile number

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

I don't think its stalkerish behaviour as it seems most of the world uses fb

I do think its a little naive and possibly a bit idiotic to assume that people would be ok to mix the 2 given the nature of this site and the fact that so many people want to maintian their privacy

There are people that seem happy to mix the 2 although its never something id have an interest in,maybe it would have been more polite to ask before requesting to be friends on there,or change your settings so that they're more private and you can't be found from a couple of chats on a swinging site

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By *banned4noreasonCouple
over a year ago

Agree with above, and would like to add that TOO MANY have never looked at the privacy settings. There is a case for the privacy to default at the more hidden options...

Although it is fun looking for the stalkers on the "looked at me" list.

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By *ercedes62Woman
over a year ago

Northampton

I never mix the two worlds - facebook is for family and friends.

Like you i had a guy find me on Facebook and took great delight in calling me by my real name.

Needless to say that was the end of contact with me.

Not sure how he managed to find me as this area falls under Leicester

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The 'privacy' settings on fb are a total joke. I took everything off there as friends of friends can still see stuff even if you supposedly have everything locked down. OP I'd be miffed too if someone found me on fb. I'd block him but also change your email address that you use. Bit dodgy if people can find you from here.

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By *londeCazWoman
over a year ago

Arse End of the Universe, Cumbria

I have a few friends on FB who are on Fab but we were FB friends before Fab. My only problem is remembering what I've talked with my married stalker about on Fab regarding normal life and making sure I don't mention it on FB before it's common knowledge seeing as I'm FB friends with his wife, father-in-law, sister-in-law and various other common acquaintences!

Some of my playmates have become very good friends and I'd have no problem being FB friends if we came across each other (so to speak...)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Agree with above, and would like to add that TOO MANY have never looked at the privacy settings. There is a case for the privacy to default at the more hidden options...

Although it is fun looking for the stalkers on the "looked at me" list."

I already have the profile in lockdown but can't seem to stop the profile from showing on a search I have the highest friends only settings set up as I use my Facebook for work too and don't allow any men on my profile ( Ann summers I know but some women can be funny if they think men might see) but he's a friend of someone I know ( only found that out due to looking at his profile) and the privacy setting still allow your profile pic to be seen ( he recognised me from that as we have face pics in our friends only on here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't have a Facebook account any more so I can't add anyone but when I did I had friends that are swingers on it but they never broadcast the fact and nor did I to be fair

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

And THIS is why we don't use our real names... Have had people Facebook-stalk before and try and add family members/friends (this was before all the privacy settings were added).

Facebook, with photos of my family, friends, work colleagues, and check-ins of where I've been/am (We all have that one friend who checks in EVERYWHERE!) ect. is NOT something I want to mix with Fab life, so even if anyone managed to find us now, all it would do is earn them a firm telling off, a report, a delete and a block on both sites.

Unless you've given them permission, it's not on.

- VincentandAmy. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And when you take a profile of facebook it can take over 2 weeks to come off ... You cant just delete and go ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mix the two. Fb is for friends n family. That's my vanilla life. Here is for my sexy side. Heaven forbid the two get mixed up. I'd not be happy if someone search me out on fb. Would definitely get blocked.

Plus 2

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

I would block I always tell people on here fb is for family etc.

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

I dont use it because Im paranoid about people being able to see other people and Im not confident enough that things that I want to be private are kept private....and threads like this just succeed in feeding my paranoia

But if I did use it Id be really annoyed if someone tracked me down on there without agreeing it with me first on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

What I absolutely hate about fb is the fact that almost everything is linked to it and it seems to get worse everyday

Ive just ordered something on amazon thats a bit naughty and its asking me if I want to share it on fb

No I don't thanks.....its mine and mine alone

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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago

North of The Wall - youll need your vest

"What I absolutely hate about fb is the fact that almost everything is linked to it and it seems to get worse everyday

Ive just ordered something on amazon thats a bit naughty and its asking me if I want to share it on fb

No I don't thanks.....its mine and mine alone

Feel free to share it on here though

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

A lot of my FB posts are worse than on the forums here, so if any Fabster posted something inappropriate on there most of my mates and family would laught at it and join in the thread

I did have one Fab/FB friend asked by another vanilla friend where she knew me from once

She just told him we were old mates.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I agree. I keep swinging fuckbuddies separate from my non swinging friends and don't mix the two. I think it's a bit odd to go trawling off this site to find you on another site even if it is Facebook. Block the blockheads!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dont use it because Im paranoid about people being able to see other people and Im not confident enough that things that I want to be private are kept private....and threads like this just succeed in feeding my paranoia

But if I did use it Id be really annoyed if someone tracked me down on there without agreeing it with me first on here."

That cheered me up lol glad it's not just me. I'm really paranoid, that's why my fb account doesn't even use my real name. I have 2 fb accounts. One for family and work colleagues and another where I can be 'me' and say what the heck I like without worrying who will see it.

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By *win PeaksCouple
over a year ago

Northamptonshire

I (fem) received a friend request on Facebook from the male half of a couple we were friends with on here, I had never spoke to/messaged the bloke, and to be honest it really freaked me out ! All my friends n family are on FB, plus a few clients, who of course don't know about our alternative lifestyle, and I would prefer to keep it that way, what with running my own business in a small town, my reputation is very important. He was blocked and deleted!

I do have 2 couples from here as FB friends, both I trust to be discrete

I changed all my FB security, my profile was already private, now my friends list & pics are private and I have changed who can PM me.

Hubby thinks I have gone overboard and I have nothing to worry about, but I'm not willing to take any risk, no matter how small

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How does anyone from here add you to Facebook with out knowing your surname? I thought that you needed first name, surname and location!

I've not read any farther yet so, sorry if someone else has reponded to this already.

You know how Facebook sometimes 'suggests' friends for you...and you normally just ignore it?

Well, one day I logged onto Facebook and Facebook 'suggested' 3 new friends for me and I was pretty surpried to see that all 3 of them were guys I had chatted to briefly on here

I think maybe Facebook knows everywhere you go by recognising e-mail addresses. So it's possible the guys were not creepily stalking the OP - it's more likely Facebook made the connection and 'suggested' the OP to the guy...of course the guy in question should really have ignored the suggestion.

But I think that could be one possible explanation.

I just ignored it when it did it to me, I was pretty pissed off that Facebook had done it.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I agree with fia.... Particularly since the OP stated that this person and herself have a mutual facebook friend..

More likely you've,shown up as "someone they may know"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree with fia.... Particularly since the OP stated that this person and herself have a mutual facebook friend..

More likely you've,shown up as "someone they may know""

Would agree with that although its a different email address,name and my privacy settings are as locked down as possible with Facebook nowadays, however wouldn't you ignore it maybe mention it on here "oh I saw your profile " or something rather than requesting as a friend? Or am I over thinking it?

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By *mileyBWoman
over a year ago

Northwood

No I would say that Facebook ( my account included) is for family and close friends and acquaintances. There is enough ways to be in contact with fb's from here without face book - I'd consider it a very unwelcome invasion of my privacy and a bit stalker- like for people to go to the lengths if searching for you. Block away.

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Would agree with that although its a different email address,name and my privacy settings are as locked down as possible with Facebook nowadays, however wouldn't you ignore it maybe mention it on here "oh I saw your profile " or something rather than requesting as a friend? Or am I over thinking it? "

But when you have a mutual friend on there email / phone number is irrelevant. Your name and profile pic just pops up at the side of the page. If he's seen a face pic on here and your face is on your fb profile he doesnt need an email / phone number or even to know your full name to recognise your pic

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By *radleyandRavenCouple
over a year ago

Herts

"How does anyone from here add you to Facebook with out knowing your surname? I thought that you needed first name, surname and location!

You would be surprised what people can work with when they're determined. This was somebody we'd met, he only knew Mrs' first name and roughly where she lived. He then trawled through profiles with just the first name in that area and then recognised her profile picture. It's quite scary really.

Amy doesn't use her real name on Facebook either now, but all of her privacy settings have been upped and she has made herself unsearchable and uncontactable to anybody but friends.

- VincentandAmy. x

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