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Doctor J is in the house

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Are you worried about something but too embarrassed (or ashamed) to go to your GP!

Dr J can help.

Give me a run down of your symptoms and I will diagnose the issue and maybe recommend a course of treatment.

The doctor will see you now

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By *acDreamyMan
over a year ago

Wirral

I feel like a pair of curtains!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Soft furnishings dysphoria is a debilitating condition. The only thing I can suggest is pull yourself together man!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Don't be shy.

I won't judge.

You filthy animals!

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

Dr J, I can't stop touching myself! Please help

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Doctor J.

My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I recommend a course of Aversion therapy.

Cat shit on your fingers. You wont be touching yourself then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dr J.

My winky is wonky

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Doctor J.

My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help."

This may require intensive therapy. Maybe even a home visit.

Dr J's organic throat cream would be quite beneficial in this case. (Beneficial for whom though is a whole different matter)

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

i keep waking up with a huge hard on,

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/03/23 08:49:18]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J.

My winky is wonky "

Try to pull it straight. Repeatedly.

You may notice a tingling sensation and some milky discharge. This is normal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"i keep waking up with a huge hard on,"

Make Hugh sleep on the sofa.

You will wake up undisturbed then.

Sleep hygiene is important

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By *riar BelisseWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Dr J

Can I have balls of steel without actually having testicles

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed "

This in and of itself is a natural and healthy behaviour. The chilli sauce and salad however ...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J

Can I have balls of steel without actually having testicles"

The current medical thinking indicates meat balls to be effective. Sweden is leading the way in the latest innovative research.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed

This in and of itself is a natural and healthy behaviour. The chilli sauce and salad however ..."

There is the solution stop.adding chilling sauce and salad to the flange, thanks Dr J

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed

This in and of itself is a natural and healthy behaviour. The chilli sauce and salad however ...

There is the solution stop.adding chilling sauce and salad to the flange, thanks Dr J "

Glad to be if service.

Next!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dr J

I have an overwhelming need to be sat upon the faces of men I find attractive. I’m unsure if it’s a medical emergency for me or them but any help to overcome this would be appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Not an emergency per se, but obsessive behaviours can be damaging in the long term.

Suffocation is the biggest risk. Also be aware of hygiene ... use a sterile alcohol wipe on the chosen face(s) and avoid locations like bus stops and railway platforms ... high traffic areas increase the risk of harmful pathogens being present.

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek

Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately "

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Strange. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh well.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Doctor J.

My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help.

This may require intensive therapy. Maybe even a home visit.

Dr J's organic throat cream would be quite beneficial in this case. (Beneficial for whom though is a whole different matter)"

I mean, it might not be the most effective course of treatment, but I'm willing to give it a go

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not an emergency per se, but obsessive behaviours can be damaging in the long term.

Suffocation is the biggest risk. Also be aware of hygiene ... use a sterile alcohol wipe on the chosen face(s) and avoid locations like bus stops and railway platforms ... high traffic areas increase the risk of harmful pathogens being present."

Don’t suffocate them and avoid public places. Got it! Thank you Dr J

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Doctor J.

My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help.

This may require intensive therapy. Maybe even a home visit.

Dr J's organic throat cream would be quite beneficial in this case. (Beneficial for whom though is a whole different matter)

I mean, it might not be the most effective course of treatment, but I'm willing to give it a go "

Open wide and sah aaah

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By *oanne ETV/TS
over a year ago

Near Warrington

Dr J

I've become addicted to my butt plug, what therapy is out there to cure me of this or is it simply normal xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J

I've become addicted to my butt plug, what therapy is out there to cure me of this or is it simply normal xxx"

Prosthetic medicine is a medical marvel. Where the limb, or other appendage is absent the prosthesis acts as a replacement. In this case where the penis is missing from the anus, the prosthesis (ie, butt plug) fills the gap.

Literally

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Dr J, it's red, swollen and pussy. There's a bit of green goo too. What do I do?!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, it's red, swollen and pussy. There's a bit of green goo too. What do I do?! "

Wipe it clean once in a while.

Oh and wear a mask. It will help you cope with the smell.

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By *oanne ETV/TS
over a year ago

Near Warrington


"Dr J

I've become addicted to my butt plug, what therapy is out there to cure me of this or is it simply normal xxx

Prosthetic medicine is a medical marvel. Where the limb, or other appendage is absent the prosthesis acts as a replacement. In this case where the penis is missing from the anus, the prosthesis (ie, butt plug) fills the gap.

Literally"

Thank you Darling, I feel more comfortable (or not, it's quite big but gorgeous) with that now, and where's that thrusting, vibrating dildo, I hope it doesn't need charging xxxx

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

I would give a Dr. J a 35% uplift in a heartbeat.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would give a Dr. J a 35% uplift in a heartbeat. "

I'm private.

I wouldn't get out of bed for less than 40%

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By *clfunMan
over a year ago

Vamperville, Romania

Dr J

I am horny most of the time and it doesn‘t seem I can control it. As if it wasn’t bad enough, I actually enjoy it, but it gets me distracted from work. I need your help doc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J

I am horny most of the time and it doesn‘t seem I can control it. As if it wasn’t bad enough, I actually enjoy it, but it gets me distracted from work. I need your help doc "

You might have the Hornona Virus. It's prevalent in these parts

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls?"

My bedside manner is the talk of the town. Fancy an injection?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls?

My bedside manner is the talk of the town. Fancy an injection?"

Would that be in my arm or my bottom? Do I get a sweetie too if I don't cry?

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair


"I would give a Dr. J a 35% uplift in a heartbeat.

I'm private.

I wouldn't get out of bed for less than 40%"

•

I wouldn't kick you out of •my• bed for less than 5Ø%...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls?

My bedside manner is the talk of the town. Fancy an injection?

Would that be in my arm or my bottom? Do I get a sweetie too if I don't cry?"

Bottom is my preferred means of delivery

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Dr J, I only get horny when sniffing pickled onion monster munch. What can you do for me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, I only get horny when sniffing pickled onion monster munch. What can you do for me? "

Ooooh ... what I could do for you ....

Ahem

I will refer you to an olfactory specialist. And here's a leaflet for Reconstituted Maize Snacks Anonymous

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By *eliciousDiva69Woman
over a year ago

Schitts Creek


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Strange. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh well."

I’M OVER HERE! oh nvm

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately

Hello?

Is anyone there?

Strange. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh well.

I’M OVER HERE! oh nvm "

How odd

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you

Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated "

Surely amputation is the only answer DrJ. No anaesthetic though!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated "

I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off

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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago

Chinese Takeaway near you


"Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated

Hahaha you have my gratitude Dr

I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off"

Have some lice shampoo.

It will help

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated

Surely amputation is the only answer DrJ. No anaesthetic though!"

Drastic.

But it might just work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off

Have some lice shampoo.

It will help"

I had hoped for a sensible answer

Where's is your bedside manner young lady

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off

Have some lice shampoo.

It will help

I had hoped for a sensible answer

Where's is your bedside manner young lady "

Injecting Hkphooey

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy."

Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy.

Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives?"

My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy.

Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives?

My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up "

A brisk rub of your ... sorry her ... undercarriage will held alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Just get 'her' to hop up on the couch

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy.

Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives?

My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up

A brisk rub of your ... sorry her ... undercarriage will held alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Just get 'her' to hop up on the couch "

By symptoms, will it disable the rash's vocal cords?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy.

Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives?

My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up

A brisk rub of your ... sorry her ... undercarriage will held alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Just get 'her' to hop up on the couch

By symptoms, will it disable the rash's vocal cords?"

Unlikely but with luck the panting from having your undercarriage briskly rubbed will down out the weeping

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My neck is hurting on my left side whenever I turn my head to the left and it's causing me a bit of discomfort. What do you recommend doc?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated

I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life"

Most mobility aids aren't covered by the NHS, so I hope Mr. Duck has deep pockets too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My neck is hurting on my left side whenever I turn my head to the left and it's causing me a bit of discomfort. What do you recommend doc?"

Only turn your head to the right .

A miracle... you are cured!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Good morning Dr

I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated

I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life

Most mobility aids aren't covered by the NHS, so I hope Mr. Duck has deep pockets too "

By the time he gets to the pharmacy and finds that out, I'll be long gone!

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help.

Jx

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help.

Jx"

It's not unusual, I don't think.

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Hello Dr j its Dr R here. I've seeing a patient and its unusual case and wonder if we could consult on

I'll give you a little background on the patient .its a female I've been treating for a number of years its rather a delicate matter its with regards one have over step the mark in the treatment I've been giveing her that has resulted in her becimeing more hypersexual and multiogasmic .

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately "

So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of it .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help.

Jx"

Lady, lay down.

To reassure you ... Its not unusual.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately

So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of it ."

Sorry. What lady?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hello Dr j its Dr R here. I've seeing a patient and its unusual case and wonder if we could consult on

I'll give you a little background on the patient .its a female I've been treating for a number of years its rather a delicate matter its with regards one have over step the mark in the treatment I've been giveing her that has resulted in her becimeing more hypersexual and multiogasmic ."

Show her my profile pics.

That will serve to reduce her libedo to near zero levels.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help.

Jx

It's not unusual, I don't think. "

I concur.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dr J

My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it.

What can I do?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J

My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it.

What can I do? "

Define huge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dr J

My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it.

What can I do?

Define huge"

larger than a thimble

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J

My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it.

What can I do?

Define huge

larger than a thimble "

In that case, I wouldn't worry too much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Dr J

My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it.

What can I do?

Define huge

larger than a thimble

In that case, I wouldn't worry too much"

Oh ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doctor my age is strangling my ability to snare the foxy females of the world, should I continue to be grey and washed up or do I shout I’m here boo and then hide behind the curtains, I promise not to wipe anything on them

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Hello Dr j its Dr R here. I've seeing a patient and its unusual case and wonder if we could consult on

I'll give you a little background on the patient .its a female I've been treating for a number of years its rather a delicate matter its with regards one have over step the mark in the treatment I've been giveing her that has resulted in her becimeing more hypersexual and multiogasmic .

Show her my profile pics.

That will serve to reduce her libedo to near zero levels."

Thank you so much she was wearing me out .

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately

So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of

it .

Sorry. What lady? "

She behind you

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Doctor my age is strangling my ability to snare the foxy females of the world, should I continue to be grey and washed up or do I shout I’m here boo and then hide behind the curtains, I promise not to wipe anything on them "

This is more a cosmetic issue than medical, but if it is causing you significant distress, read my leaflet "George Clooney is grey and he still gets plenty". It may ease your anxiety.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/03/23 20:35:03]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately

So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of

it .

Sorry. What lady?

She behind you "

Nope.

You've lost me

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

I've another case for this a man this time he was born with an elephants

Cock .fucking dyslexia I could spell the right word .

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've another case for this a man this time he was born with an elephants

Cock .fucking dyslexia I could spell the right word ."

I am a doctor, not a vet!

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