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"Doctor J. My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help." This may require intensive therapy. Maybe even a home visit. Dr J's organic throat cream would be quite beneficial in this case. (Beneficial for whom though is a whole different matter) | |||
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"Dr J. My winky is wonky " Try to pull it straight. Repeatedly. You may notice a tingling sensation and some milky discharge. This is normal. | |||
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"i keep waking up with a huge hard on," Make Hugh sleep on the sofa. You will wake up undisturbed then. Sleep hygiene is important | |||
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"Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed " This in and of itself is a natural and healthy behaviour. The chilli sauce and salad however ... | |||
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"Dr J Can I have balls of steel without actually having testicles" The current medical thinking indicates meat balls to be effective. Sweden is leading the way in the latest innovative research. | |||
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"Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed This in and of itself is a natural and healthy behaviour. The chilli sauce and salad however ..." There is the solution stop.adding chilling sauce and salad to the flange, thanks Dr J | |||
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"Dr J, im having a compulsion to tongue punch like I'm eating a donor kebab, what do I do? Help needed This in and of itself is a natural and healthy behaviour. The chilli sauce and salad however ... There is the solution stop.adding chilling sauce and salad to the flange, thanks Dr J " Glad to be if service. Next! | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately " Hello? Is anyone there? Strange. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh well. | |||
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"Doctor J. My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help. This may require intensive therapy. Maybe even a home visit. Dr J's organic throat cream would be quite beneficial in this case. (Beneficial for whom though is a whole different matter)" I mean, it might not be the most effective course of treatment, but I'm willing to give it a go | |||
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"Not an emergency per se, but obsessive behaviours can be damaging in the long term. Suffocation is the biggest risk. Also be aware of hygiene ... use a sterile alcohol wipe on the chosen face(s) and avoid locations like bus stops and railway platforms ... high traffic areas increase the risk of harmful pathogens being present." Don’t suffocate them and avoid public places. Got it! Thank you Dr J | |||
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"Doctor J. My throat has developed a pretty constant need to have dick in it. But I'm pretty sure the oxygen deprivation is starting to kill off braincells with the extent I take it to. Please help. This may require intensive therapy. Maybe even a home visit. Dr J's organic throat cream would be quite beneficial in this case. (Beneficial for whom though is a whole different matter) I mean, it might not be the most effective course of treatment, but I'm willing to give it a go " Open wide and sah aaah | |||
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"Dr J I've become addicted to my butt plug, what therapy is out there to cure me of this or is it simply normal xxx" Prosthetic medicine is a medical marvel. Where the limb, or other appendage is absent the prosthesis acts as a replacement. In this case where the penis is missing from the anus, the prosthesis (ie, butt plug) fills the gap. Literally | |||
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"Dr J, it's red, swollen and pussy. There's a bit of green goo too. What do I do?! " Wipe it clean once in a while. Oh and wear a mask. It will help you cope with the smell. | |||
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"Dr J I've become addicted to my butt plug, what therapy is out there to cure me of this or is it simply normal xxx Prosthetic medicine is a medical marvel. Where the limb, or other appendage is absent the prosthesis acts as a replacement. In this case where the penis is missing from the anus, the prosthesis (ie, butt plug) fills the gap. Literally" Thank you Darling, I feel more comfortable (or not, it's quite big but gorgeous) with that now, and where's that thrusting, vibrating dildo, I hope it doesn't need charging xxxx | |||
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"I would give a Dr. J a 35% uplift in a heartbeat. " I'm private. I wouldn't get out of bed for less than 40% | |||
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"Dr J I am horny most of the time and it doesn‘t seem I can control it. As if it wasn’t bad enough, I actually enjoy it, but it gets me distracted from work. I need your help doc " You might have the Hornona Virus. It's prevalent in these parts | |||
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"Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls?" My bedside manner is the talk of the town. Fancy an injection? | |||
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"Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls? My bedside manner is the talk of the town. Fancy an injection?" Would that be in my arm or my bottom? Do I get a sweetie too if I don't cry? | |||
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"I would give a Dr. J a 35% uplift in a heartbeat. I'm private. I wouldn't get out of bed for less than 40%" • I wouldn't kick you out of •my• bed for less than 5Ø%... | |||
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"Dr J, I can't get out of bed this morning, do you or one of your nursing assistants carry out house calls? My bedside manner is the talk of the town. Fancy an injection? Would that be in my arm or my bottom? Do I get a sweetie too if I don't cry?" Bottom is my preferred means of delivery | |||
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"Dr J, I only get horny when sniffing pickled onion monster munch. What can you do for me? " Ooooh ... what I could do for you .... Ahem I will refer you to an olfactory specialist. And here's a leaflet for Reconstituted Maize Snacks Anonymous | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately Hello? Is anyone there? Strange. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh well." I’M OVER HERE! oh nvm | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately Hello? Is anyone there? Strange. I could have sworn I heard something. Oh well. I’M OVER HERE! oh nvm " How odd | |||
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"Good morning Dr I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated " Surely amputation is the only answer DrJ. No anaesthetic though! | |||
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"Good morning Dr I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated " I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life | |||
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"Good morning Dr I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated Hahaha you have my gratitude Dr I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life" | |||
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"My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off" Have some lice shampoo. It will help | |||
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"Good morning Dr I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated Surely amputation is the only answer DrJ. No anaesthetic though!" Drastic. But it might just work | |||
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"My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off Have some lice shampoo. It will help" I had hoped for a sensible answer Where's is your bedside manner young lady | |||
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"My beard is itchy and I'm thinking about shaving it off Have some lice shampoo. It will help I had hoped for a sensible answer Where's is your bedside manner young lady " Injecting Hkphooey | |||
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"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy." Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives? | |||
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"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy. Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives?" My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up | |||
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"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy. Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives? My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up " A brisk rub of your ... sorry her ... undercarriage will held alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Just get 'her' to hop up on the couch | |||
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"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy. Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives? My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up A brisk rub of your ... sorry her ... undercarriage will held alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Just get 'her' to hop up on the couch " By symptoms, will it disable the rash's vocal cords? | |||
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"A friend of a friend (cough) has a nasty rash on her undercarriage. It's not the pain or the itching. It's the weeping. It's becoming a bit melodramatic and noisy. Ah ... a bad case of Wuthering Hives? My... Uh her neighbours would like the rash to shut the fuck up A brisk rub of your ... sorry her ... undercarriage will held alleviate the worst of the symptoms. Just get 'her' to hop up on the couch By symptoms, will it disable the rash's vocal cords?" Unlikely but with luck the panting from having your undercarriage briskly rubbed will down out the weeping | |||
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"Good morning Dr I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life" Most mobility aids aren't covered by the NHS, so I hope Mr. Duck has deep pockets too | |||
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"My neck is hurting on my left side whenever I turn my head to the left and it's causing me a bit of discomfort. What do you recommend doc?" Only turn your head to the right . A miracle... you are cured! | |||
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"Good morning Dr I'm uaving issues with my over sized cock . I constant have back ache from carrying this heavy log & it keep poking holes in my boxers (it's become quite expensive). Any help would be appreciated I will write a prescription for a wheelbarrow. Mobility aids such as this can have a truly beneficial impact on your quality of life Most mobility aids aren't covered by the NHS, so I hope Mr. Duck has deep pockets too " By the time he gets to the pharmacy and finds that out, I'll be long gone! | |||
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"Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help. Jx" It's not unusual, I don't think. | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately " So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of it . | |||
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"Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help. Jx" Lady, lay down. To reassure you ... Its not unusual. | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of it ." Sorry. What lady? | |||
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"Hello Dr j its Dr R here. I've seeing a patient and its unusual case and wonder if we could consult on I'll give you a little background on the patient .its a female I've been treating for a number of years its rather a delicate matter its with regards one have over step the mark in the treatment I've been giveing her that has resulted in her becimeing more hypersexual and multiogasmic ." Show her my profile pics. That will serve to reduce her libedo to near zero levels. | |||
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"Dr J, I can't stop singing Tom Jones songs. Please help. Jx It's not unusual, I don't think. " I concur. | |||
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"Dr J My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it. What can I do? " Define huge | |||
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"Dr J My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it. What can I do? Define huge" larger than a thimble | |||
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"Dr J My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it. What can I do? Define huge larger than a thimble " In that case, I wouldn't worry too much | |||
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"Dr J My winky gets huge when a certain person mentions jaffa cakes. I hate the damn things and am conflicted by it. What can I do? Define huge larger than a thimble In that case, I wouldn't worry too much" Oh ok | |||
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"Hello Dr j its Dr R here. I've seeing a patient and its unusual case and wonder if we could consult on I'll give you a little background on the patient .its a female I've been treating for a number of years its rather a delicate matter its with regards one have over step the mark in the treatment I've been giveing her that has resulted in her becimeing more hypersexual and multiogasmic . Show her my profile pics. That will serve to reduce her libedo to near zero levels." Thank you so much she was wearing me out . | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of it . Sorry. What lady? " She behind you | |||
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"Doctor my age is strangling my ability to snare the foxy females of the world, should I continue to be grey and washed up or do I shout I’m here boo and then hide behind the curtains, I promise not to wipe anything on them " This is more a cosmetic issue than medical, but if it is causing you significant distress, read my leaflet "George Clooney is grey and he still gets plenty". It may ease your anxiety. | |||
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"Dr J - I’ve just been feeling so invisible lately So to interject but Dr here I've spotted the reason have looked at the ladies noted .the invisablity is cause by her wallpaper its that vivid she can't be seen because of it . Sorry. What lady? She behind you " Nope. You've lost me | |||
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"I've another case for this a man this time he was born with an elephants Cock .fucking dyslexia I could spell the right word ." I am a doctor, not a vet! | |||
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