FabSwingers.com forum: Do actions speak louder than words?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Title says it all really, but what about the fact ‘word cut deep’?

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Title says it all really, but what about the fact ‘word cut deep’?

They usually do that silently so actions are still louder.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the context, no?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Title says it all really, but what about the fact ‘word cut deep’?

They usually do that silently so actions are still louder. "

I don’t know, sometimes I’ve had things said directly to me, I just think they are that deluded they can’t imagine how much what they said can hurt.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Depends on the context, no? "

Probably.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes totally true in my experience, anyone can say anything but when something is true you can see it to be true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Title says it all really, but what about the fact ‘word cut deep’?

They usually do that silently so actions are still louder.

I don’t know, sometimes I’ve had things said directly to me, I just think they are that deluded they can’t imagine how much what they said can hurt. "

Well surely they're just a bit of a twunt in that case?... Why are you wasting your time getting upset

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Oh absolutely. Show, don't tell.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"….... Why are you wasting your time getting upset "

*starts another thread - ‘somethings easier said than done!’

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes the intent of an action of somebody you trust is enough as not everything goes to plan, the words of somebody you haven't built up trust with mean nothing until the action has been fulfilled.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"….... Why are you wasting your time getting upset

*starts another thread - ‘somethings easier said than done!’

Nope, life is too bloody short. If someone is upset by actions that you've done with nil bad intent..

Then that's their fucking problem not yours. Don't waste your time running up someone else's bum to make them feel better for their issue, not yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most of the time they do.

People are complex and unpredictable though so sometimes we get hooked on the words and ignore the actions.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving .

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I think that someone’s actions tell you about them. I think that someone’s words tell you about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving . "

Totally agree. On here it's just the Internet, and yet so many folk seem to get sadly over invested like its actually real life

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving . "

Currently on local updates, productive and "popular" forumites are slagging off other peoples pics.

The same people are usually on here preaching about being inclusive and supportive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving .

Currently on local updates, productive and "popular" forumites are slagging off other peoples pics.

The same people are usually on here preaching about being inclusive and supportive. "

Do you expect anything different? People are generally wankers. Even more so when they form a clique, and then spend their time telling each other how brill they are

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I think actions do speak louder, anyone can say anything but if the actions don't back it up it's just a loads of meaningless words.

Mrs

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Title says it all really, but what about the fact ‘word cut deep’?

They usually do that silently so actions are still louder.

I don’t know, sometimes I’ve had things said directly to me, I just think they are that deluded they can’t imagine how much what they said can hurt. "

That's what I mean about cutting deep but silently. The words may be spoken aloud but the wounds they leave are whispered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving .

Currently on local updates, productive and "popular" forumites are slagging off other peoples pics.

The same people are usually on here preaching about being inclusive and supportive. "

I didn't think it was a 'thing', till last year I was chatting openly in a forum with someone. And then a 'popular' forumite out of the blue messaged me to basically grill me on my relationship status, work, asked for a face pic

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving .

Currently on local updates, productive and "popular" forumites are slagging off other peoples pics.

The same people are usually on here preaching about being inclusive and supportive.

Do you expect anything different? People are generally wankers. Even more so when they form a clique, and then spend their time telling each other how brill they are

I don't expect anything different at all where popularity contests are concerned.

It's always funny though when those shouting the loudest about being wounded are the same ones sticking pins in others.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Title says it all really, but what about the fact ‘word cut deep’?

This is metaphorical though ...

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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago

I think words come easy but actions take effort.

People are contradictory/complex creatures and you would need to judge each situation on its merits, but overall I would be looking for actions to match their words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving .

Currently on local updates, productive and "popular" forumites are slagging off other peoples pics.

The same people are usually on here preaching about being inclusive and supportive.

Funny thing was I hadn't even met the person they were so hot on the heels of

Certainly wouldn't have met them after that though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Words can cut like a knife but equally be based on nothing.

The most sincere people have words & actions in sync, consistently over time.

Is it better to be on the periphery than in the clique?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People cut you with the knife you give them.

Words are words, you get to choose if they hurt you.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I would say it depends on the context but also how emotionally sensitive I am at that point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actions, always

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You can tell, but I’m going to need action to back those words up if I’m to believe.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"What about lip service?

On here many words are used but not always in the right order and many don't practice what they preach.

In the great big world out there you know immediately when some people are lying because their lips are moving .

Currently on local updates, productive and "popular" forumites are slagging off other peoples pics.

The same people are usually on here preaching about being inclusive and supportive. "

Are these the Irish forum users?

Anyway, I think both are important. Words, intent but then actually auctioning them. I'm too much a lover of words to rule them out completely, not naive enough to believe they're all you need.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All depends what the context is, they say gratitude is shown and not spoken, same as a sorry, words without action are just words, which can be hollow and empty if not meant and heart felt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree with will work for sushi.

Context is everything. However, we have to keep in mind that we are, as human beings, a walking contradiction and we do shit that aren’t align with some of our deepest principles. Basically we are full of shit.

Furthermore, I don’t believe that ‘truth’ exists per se. I am more prone to believe in perspectives. Yet, my perspectives do not mean that they don’t hold any ‘truth’ to me. Consequently, the perspectives of someone else are the same.

So, what is said, written is bound to raise some sort of cognitive dissonance for the receiving end, if behaviour isn’t in line with it. It is inevitable that it will happen. And as said above, it is actually normal.

So I try to analyse the consistency of words and behaviour… or should I said the consistency of contradictory statements and behaviour to gauge the degree of shit this individual is full with. Ultimately, it will help me too see if I can cope with it or not.

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