FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Folks Farting In Public

Jump to newest
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

How very uncouth!

This week I have encountered not one, not two but THREE random people letting rip loudly and brazenly in public.

Is this an epidemic?! Is it a social craze that I am presently unaware of? Do I need to join in to be hip and trendy or something now?

What’s going on?

Anyone else noticed an increase in such coarse behaviour?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only place I fart is in bed so I can cupcake my husband. What sort of heathens do it anywhere else?!

F

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have children.... one farts (in private) like it's an olympic event

But if any one of them dared to do likewise when out in company or in public they know I'd go through them.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"The only place I fart is in bed so I can cupcake my husband. What sort of heathens do it anywhere else?!

F"

Vulgarians; Best (or worst) of all, all of the culprits did it so casually and without any seeming remorse nor embarrassment

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hilledGuyClactonMan
over a year ago

Little clacton

Kids, pregnant women or OAP fine(likelihood all accidental)

Everyone else stick a cork in it

But I do live in a area where you could see ppl doing the brown stuff on the pavement

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I have children.... one farts (in private) like it's an olympic event

But if any one of them dared to do likewise when out in company or in public they know I'd go through them.

"

I neither confirm nor deny that I MAY on very rare occasions (ahem) pass wind, but it’s always behind closed doors

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Kids, pregnant women or OAP fine(likelihood all accidental)

Everyone else stick a cork in it

But I do live in a area where you could see ppl doing the brown stuff on the pavement "

I must admit, I certainly might be more forgiving of the groups mentioned (old Edith bends over to pick up her shopping bags and the wind inevitability flies….)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I fart in public , and if someone gives me the evil eye I just smile and say ‘better out than in’.

I also let them go silently, in the supermarket, you know the ones, they stink to high heaven and linger. You can see people looking around trying to decide who let it go.

I’m a joy to be around, honestly

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before Covid people used to cough to cover up a fart, now it's the opposite...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"I fart in public , and if someone gives me the evil eye I just smile and say ‘better out than in’.

I also let them go silently, in the supermarket, you know the ones, they stink to high heaven and linger. You can see people looking around trying to decide who let it go.

I’m a joy to be around, honestly "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before Covid people used to cough to cover up a fart, now it's the opposite..."

Actually made me lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Before Covid people used to cough to cover up a fart, now it's the opposite..."

Hahaha!! That might be what I witnessed…..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My dog (an EBT) lets off the most noxious of all farts. Sometimes he deliberately squeezes them out - I need to leave home!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before Covid people used to cough to cover up a fart, now it's the opposite...

Actually made me lol"

Didn't make you do a combined fart/cough then...?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"My dog (an EBT) lets off the most noxious of all farts. Sometimes he deliberately squeezes them out - I need to leave home!"

I agree the smell of a dogs fart is disgusting lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illibethWoman
over a year ago

Midlands and North Wales

Yep that's me, its hilarious - but only if I do them and they smell lovely, but only if I do them!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before Covid people used to cough to cover up a fart, now it's the opposite...

Actually made me lol

Didn't make you do a combined fart/cough then...? "

I'm a laaayyyyydeee

One only expels frangrant ploofs of recycled air at an appointed time within the confines of one's personal water closet.

Ahem.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*Fragrant

Lol

(Must not type when laughing)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How very uncouth!

This week I have encountered not one, not two but THREE random people letting rip loudly and brazenly in public.

Is this an epidemic?! Is it a social craze that I am presently unaware of? Do I need to join in to be hip and trendy or something now?

What’s going on?

Anyone else noticed an increase in such coarse behaviour? "

Iss well horny innit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fanny farts during sex they are very embarrassing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The fanny farts during sex they are very embarrassing "

Not to me... sign of a good time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"*Fragrant

Lol

(Must not type when laughing)"

I actually prefer frangrant I'm sure you only produce the most refined of perfumes.. Eau de back chanel

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ubytuesdaysTV/TS
over a year ago

birmingham

We are using it to communicate with one another, . we are more versatile than the earthlings.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How very uncouth!

This week I have encountered not one, not two but THREE random people letting rip loudly and brazenly in public.

Is this an epidemic?! Is it a social craze that I am presently unaware of? Do I need to join in to be hip and trendy or something now?

What’s going on?

Anyone else noticed an increase in such coarse behaviour? "

Will all be wearing face masks, and keeping 2 meters apart

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton

Farts will never stop being fun. Sometimes i laugh at my own farts when im at home alone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mbatman2021Man
over a year ago

Southampton


"The only place I fart is in bed so I can cupcake my husband. What sort of heathens do it anywhere else?!

F

Vulgarians; Best (or worst) of all, all of the culprits did it so casually and without any seeming remorse nor embarrassment "

Why would they need remorse or be embarrassed its funny and we all do it.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In a pub recently and was standing next to a guy who smelled like something had crawled up his ring piece and died. I actually tapped him on the shoulder and asked if it was him. Guy was mortified.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"In a pub recently and was standing next to a guy who smelled like something had crawled up his ring piece and died. I actually tapped him on the shoulder and asked if it was him. Guy was mortified."

I'm sure he was.

Probably went down like a fart in a spacesuit

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

My gramp used to do this a lot. He’d go “pull my finger” and the next thing you’d know he’d waft his trouser bottoms like he’d dropped something.

He was a Yorkshireman.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

It's a disgrace. There should be designated no fart zones as well as soundproofed public farting area's with fitted extractor fans.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane


"How very uncouth!

This week I have encountered not one, not two but THREE random people letting rip loudly and brazenly in public.

Is this an epidemic?! Is it a social craze that I am presently unaware of? Do I need to join in to be hip and trendy or something now?

What’s going on?

Anyone else noticed an increase in such coarse behaviour? "

That made me laugh out loud

I haven't experienced that I have to say dont want to either.i think it's just bad manners...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane


"It's a disgrace. There should be designated no fart zones as well as soundproofed public farting area's with fitted extractor fans."

I think I have enough fab today

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

I remember once being in a garden centre when a particularly coarse individual walked in and had the gross audacity to raise up a knee before letting fly with a particularly thunderous effort.

In that moment, time seemed to stand still for a few seconds as everyone present froze in seeming disbelief and horror at what they had just witnessed.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *alking HeadMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Best saving them up till you have a bath and can let go a really long, loud "Edward Woodward"!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I had a friend who would let out silent, deadly farts in crowded pubs.

Why she didn't pop to the toilet I don't know, but it became a running joke with us.

She blamed her meat consumption.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mma29Couple
over a year ago

wirral

Reminds me of them jack vale videos, he farts in supermarkets but it's with a pooter. He stands right next to them with a serious concentrating face.

The reactions from people are hilarious.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *onnie 90Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

Could be an easy way for the various councils to rake in revenue. They have litter police. Drop the slightest thing on the ground and they're at your side within milliseconds. So why not have the fart police! Scientific listening apparatus built into their caps sensitive enough to detect a fart at 50 yards and which direction it came from. Special triangulation technology will pinpoint exactly who the culprit is.

Fines will vary depending on the severity of the guff. I mean, a raspy dry fart is bad right? But a wet trouser browner is infinitely more serious. And don't get me started on the loneliness of the long distance runner.

Sorry for the rant.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Could be an easy way for the various councils to rake in revenue. They have litter police. Drop the slightest thing on the ground and they're at your side within milliseconds. So why not have the fart police! Scientific listening apparatus built into their caps sensitive enough to detect a fart at 50 yards and which direction it came from. Special triangulation technology will pinpoint exactly who the culprit is.

Fines will vary depending on the severity of the guff. I mean, a raspy dry fart is bad right? But a wet trouser browner is infinitely more serious. And don't get me started on the loneliness of the long distance runner.

Sorry for the rant."

I think that this is a superb idea; anyone caught sharting should also be incarcerated immediately.

Their doubtless pleas that they didn’t realise they were going to follow through will not serve as any excuse.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field

Such a lack of class to blow a rasper...much better to walk along with a cheekyleakywithouthtesqueeky and let everyone share the love when they catch a gasp of the gas

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ools and the brainCouple
over a year ago

couple, us we him her.

Unfortunately I am on medication that gives me terrible bum rumbles.

It's unbelievably embarrassing at times I hate it and myself

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *elvet RopeMan
over a year ago

by the big field


"Unfortunately I am on medication that gives me terrible bum rumbles.

It's unbelievably embarrassing at times I hate it and myself "

Well stop lighting it then- nobody likes a showoff

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uke Duchess llCouple
over a year ago

Stoke-on-Trent

It's better to fart and stink a little than hold it in and be a cripple,

Where ever one may be you must let the wind go free.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before anyone asks, it wasn’t me but just Pete

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ensuallover1000 OP   Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…


"Before anyone asks, it wasn’t me but just Pete "

I always blame my trusty pooch for any inadvertent anal announcements on my part.

…..The fact that she is safely tucked away, fast asleep in her basket back in my house is of no consequence….

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before anyone asks, it wasn’t me but just Pete

I always blame my trusty pooch for any inadvertent anal announcements on my part.

…..The fact that she is safely tucked away, fast asleep in her basket back in my house is of no consequence…. "

Anal announcements

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

It is a love puff, it is given with love for you to enjoy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkerbell67Woman
over a year ago

Clacton on sea essex

We're ever you may be let your wind blow free,church or Chapel let it rattle...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You'd stick your tongue in my fanny so why not invite my arse into your lungs.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lark_KentMan
over a year ago

Northampton

I hope you have the farts a rating. Rating farts makes them much more fun and acceptable. Extra points for smell and a flourish at the end

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire


"I fart in public , and if someone gives me the evil eye I just smile and say ‘better out than in’.

I also let them go silently, in the supermarket, you know the ones, they stink to high heaven and linger. You can see people looking around trying to decide who let it go.

I’m a joy to be around, honestly "

Hahahahaha the silent but deadly ones

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

God sake think of the farts they just want to be set free to dance through the crowds letting everyone know they've arrived

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You shouldn't hold a fart in, it travels up your body and that's where shit ideas come from, plus they are funny, except in the gym.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top