FabSwingers.com forum: Time Wasters

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm not talking about folk who give genuine excuses (or atleast seem so).

How often do you experience people who either just completely ignore you after a message or two or folk who are clearly here just for the online attention.

I'm interested to know your experiences, especially from the FAB veterans?

Many thanks

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

None. I have a good sense of who wants to meet and who just wants to chat and everyone I have met…have turned up. Over time one develops strategies to out those folk who say they will but never do.

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By *iscreetguy16Man
over a year ago

chester le street

Had a meet arranged with couple last weekend then the day before there profile totally disappeared

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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago

Kingsbridge

Not a veteran but I prefer to be completely ignored rather than chatted to intensely for a day or so then ignored. What’s the point if you’re not going to meet anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I try and reply to everyone who messages, even if I’m not interested.

On my own profile, I’ve let messages go unread forever before now.

You can’t win on here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a veteran but I prefer to be completely ignored rather than chatted to intensely for a day or so then ignored. What’s the point if you’re not going to meet anyway?"

Do you have to meet everyone you chat to though? I’ve met friends on here I’ve had for many years who I have never met in person

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By *rder66Man
over a year ago

Tatooine

People change their mind all the time, it's their choice and I would respect that. It could be for many reason why they ignore you or block you, perhaps personnal reasons, life happens outside of Fab.

If it's the case of arraining a meet and then not turning up and leaving you standing without a heads-up then, I would be a bit miffed.

Some people are after attention but, perhaps they need to attention that they wouldn't get outside of fab, if it makes them feel happier about themselves, more power to them.

As for time, time is not fundamentally real anyway.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

People not replying after a couple of messages aren't time wasters they just lost interest and to be fair expecting a meet from very first contact is setting yourself up to be dissappointed I find. A reply does not guarantee a meet. I don't care if someone stops chatting.

I've never had someone not show for a meet I guess I must be lucky on here.

I have had people chat for ages and ask for pics and sex talk when I first joined. They kept saying they wanted to meet but never had any intention.They would be time wasters in my book but then it was my own fault for pandering to them back then. I learnt fast not to do sex talk exchange pics etc and it's worked out a lot better since I did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been called a time waster many times over the years just because I changed my mind.

People need to accept that changing your mind is perfectly OK, when something puts you off a person.

However I would never deliberately lead someone on, arrange a meet and purposely not show up.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently I have chatted to a few men, we've arranged a potential date in the diaries that's convenient, both penciled the date in and I never hear from them again.

I can't say I'm a complete angel when it comes to this in the past, most of the time the chat is flowing and then something will give me doubts and I go off the idea, so have also played the radio silence game but since I've had the tables turned on me, if I arrange a date in the diary and it happens again for any reason, I have the decency to tell them now.

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I’m not a veteran in any means but have recently two people in a course of two weeks arranging a meet and not turning up. As far as I understand someone can change their mind last minute for whatever reason, what bothers me is I didn’t spot the red flags and completely ignored them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Simply people are free to come and go as they please, they have free will to make the choices that best suit them. If someone decides I'm.not for them after free messages and then don't reply, I personally don't see that as time wasting. It's there pergorative.

I've never actually not had anyone cancel on me. In the years I've been on and off.

People change there minds foe whatever reason. The problem is when the other person. Makes it mean something about them. But that I mean, we'll she has just gone silent there must be something wrong with me. Ego gets bruised dented, gods gift gets dented and become butt hurt

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Many times. I cannot control their behaviour, only my own.

So I stopped over investing time and emotions till we meet, and make that perfectly clear to them as we chat. The slow fade (mutual bench) approach works for me now, as I find if I say let's stop chatting, it seems to renew interest in chatting, for no purpose, other than to delay the inevitable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes life just gets in the way opp.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are people who like to reel you in with the chat then back off once they think they’ve got you where they want you. Nasty game to play but you learn to spot those ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not talking about folk who give genuine excuses (or atleast seem so).

How often do you experience people who either just completely ignore you after a message or two or folk who are clearly here just for the online attention.

I'm interested to know your experiences, especially from the FAB veterans?

Many thanks "

He finished his wank.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"I'm not talking about folk who give genuine excuses (or atleast seem so).

How often do you experience people who either just completely ignore you after a message or two or folk who are clearly here just for the online attention.

I'm interested to know your experiences, especially from the FAB veterans?

Many thanks "

I wouldn't class people that stop chatting after a couple of messages time wasters, they just aren't that in to you, and that is allowed.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

"Not a veteran but I prefer to be completely ignored rather than chatted to intensely for a day or so then ignored. What’s the point if you’re not going to meet anyway?"

Women definitely can't win on here, if you don't reply you get 5000 threads on the forums about how youre ignorant, if you do reply then more people aren't happy. I would love to know what the answer is.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

As always it depends on your definition of timewasting.

To me a timewaster is someone who doesn't turn up to an arranged meet.

Anything else isn't wasted time unless your expectations are that every conversation will always lead to sex.

I have zero experience of timewasters because in six years here I've never had a no show or been one.

I've never chatted with a fake account or been catfished or asked for money or favours.

I don't put any of that down to luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not a veteran but I prefer to be completely ignored rather than chatted to intensely for a day or so then ignored. What’s the point if you’re not going to meet anyway?

The answer is 69

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We often experience people who are just here for on line attention. Flaming good luck to them I say, it's an excellent platform for that.

We also encounter people who stop chatting after a couple of messages. Some conversations do naturally come to an end here and off fab so it doesn't bother us.

I suppose feeling your time's been wasted depends on what your expectations are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A person could talk about this topic all night and that still wouldn't change a thing, sad thing is a person has to experience the same before he/she realises that who they are chatting to are nothing but a Timewaster and have absolutely no intention of meeting and never had, if a person hasn't mentioned meeting after a week chatting or have been asked to meet in that time then it's time to politely move on, at least it's not too much time and you put it down to experience , which l said at the start you have to go through to spot a Timewaster.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

How am I supposed to know if I want to meet someone if I don't chat a bit first? This kind of thread is what makes me very wary of answering messages

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By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset

I'm interested to know your experiences, especially from the FAB veterans?

Many thanks "

In 15 years on here I had one no show on my old solo profile and we've never been stood up in 10 years on this one.

Why?

Because we don't rush anything, expect anything and are happy to accept the fact that sometimes things change, people change their minds, plans need to change or that sometimes people just aren't in the mood for whatever personal reason.

This is an addition to our lives. Not a major part of it and certainly not something we'd ever get stressed about.

But we have each other.

I suspect that singles who are using Fab as their main potential source for sex will undoubtedly feel differently and get frustrated when things don't happen as they wished.

I'm also often amazed by the angst shown by some couples when a meet doesn't happen or someone backs out. Unless you've gone to significant expense then all that's happened is that you've missed out on a sexual encounter with someone else - it's not the end of the world, not a life changing incident and there'll be another time.

If anyone - single or couple is experiencing what they class as a 'timewaster' on a regular basis then there's only one common denominator - you.

Maybe you need to adjust your approach and behaviour.

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By *andy2123Couple
over a year ago

Portsmouth

I'm interested to know your experiences, especially from the FAB veterans?

Many thanks

In 15 years on here I had one no show on my old solo profile and we've never been stood up in 10 years on this one.

Why?

This is an addition to our lives. Not a major part of it and certainly not something we'd ever get stressed about.

But we have each other.

I suspect that singles who are using Fab as their main potential source for sex will undoubtedly feel differently and get frustrated when things don't happen as they wished.

If anyone - single or couple is experiencing what they class as a 'timewaster' on a regular basis then there's only one common denominator - you.

Maybe you need to adjust your approach and behaviour.

Agreed x

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Just thinking out loud here - I have experienced people whom I found interesting and exciting to talk to initially but the conversation became repetitive and predictable within a few exchanges.

Now what do you do? Tell them you are no longer interested because you have changed your mind or just stop messaging?

A change of heart about a person can happen at any time, within a day or week or even longer than that. It can happen for a host of reasons.

I am not saying there aren't players as there are everywhere in life. I am just saying that people are entitled to change their minds.

Maybe it is just about communicating that change of heart in a more helpful, less upsetting way?

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Most chats will not lead to finding perfect matches or to meets. To think otherwise is foolish.

Expect to get high drop-off in initial chat rates that must reach dead ends, unless you want to be finding a constant lack of satisfaction.

Most people are not mutually compatible with most other people. This will include interests in types of meets, as well as availability, alongside the vast majority who will just not be mutually attractive to each other or have complementary preferences.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Recently I have chatted to a few men, we've arranged a potential date in the diaries that's convenient, both penciled the date in and I never hear from them again.

This happens alot... Or they make noises about meeting but never actually arrange a time and place. I wouldn't really call them time wasters though, as I haven't got ready and left the house for them.

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