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Letting a new gf/bf your into swing

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By *r discreet22 OP   Man
over a year ago

derby

So have been in this life style for a while and have met a new girl I like a lot but not sure she would be in to the swinging life style

Don’t want to come straight out with it as I wouldn’t want her to think I’m weird as the run of the mill would any suggestions people

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Chances are, she will think you're weird. So be prepared for things to end

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Either tell her now or never tell her.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

I think it takes a particular mindset and not every person has it, so be prepared.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't advise on the how, you need to choose that since you know her.

But as far as the 'when' goes?

You need to do it asap.

If it's a need and a must for you then I'd consider it your sexuality, in the same way some are poly or ENM or even being bi or bi-curious or whatever.

It's unfair and unkind to let a person invest time and feelings in the potential of you both together if your needs differ.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

As it seems you're actively looking to meet I'd let her know you're not monogamous it's only fair

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By *r discreet22 OP   Man
over a year ago

derby

Very well said

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By *uthentic GuyMan
over a year ago

Surrey

I’m finding this a difficult one too. I don’t want to leave the scene, and love watching another guy with the woman I’m dating (when I am!) but it’s really tough to bring up on tinder/bumble etc.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow


"I can't advise on the how, you need to choose that since you know her.

But as far as the 'when' goes?

You need to do it asap.

If it's a need and a must for you then I'd consider it your sexuality, in the same way some are poly or ENM or even being bi or bi-curious or whatever.

It's unfair and unkind to let a person invest time and feelings in the potential of you both together if your needs differ. "

This! If swinging is something you want to continue doing then you need to be upfront with her so she has the choice to continue or not

Tinder

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford


"I can't advise on the how, you need to choose that since you know her.

But as far as the 'when' goes?

You need to do it asap.

If it's a need and a must for you then I'd consider it your sexuality, in the same way some are poly or ENM or even being bi or bi-curious or whatever.

It's unfair and unkind to let a person invest time and feelings in the potential of you both together if your needs differ.

This! If swinging is something you want to continue doing then you need to be upfront with her so she has the choice to continue or not

Tinder "

Another vote for exactly this. It’s completely unfair and disrespectful to carry on regardless, not only the emotional side but the health risks too especially if playing bb and bi as well.

It is hard but be open and honest about it all, secrets and lies will eventually kill a relationship no matter how careful you think you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When me and Penny got together I was honest as I not only wanted a life partner but a partner in crime.

I was prepared to step away from the lifestyle for the right person though.

I raised it between date one and two so she had the option to end it but thankfully she has discussed the lifestyle before and it was something she wanted to try.

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By *akeanyoneMan
over a year ago

LH

You need to tell her, but be prepared to either leave the lifestyle or her leave you. If she decides to stay it's a bonus.

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