FabSwingers.com forum: What do you think?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

That needs some thinking about lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

That needs some thinking about lol x"

Yeh. I just read it somewhere and it had me put my coffee down and think for a moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me different times and different possibilities

But more hugging of parents certainly mum as not that kind family

Realise way too late

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Hmmm. Possibly.

I think what I lacked has resulted in my wariness to seek it out in adult relationships because a part of me doesn't believe I deserve it. Doesn't believe anyone could. That's only a small part of me though! When I'm emo-ing.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Not for me, but what I packed in childhood I make sure my children don't.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting quote op. I'm not sure. I think we consciously or unconsciously continue the pattern and seek out the same dynamic (even if only briefly before we become more aware) So if we felt unloved/ unimportant as a child,a relationship with a similar dynamic would feel familiar and comfortable because that is what we have known and come to expect. The pattern can of course be broken.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

"
I was a better parent than my parents but no not really, i strive for happiness and I've achieved it really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”"

A bike?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes and no.

My mother was strict and I seek out dominant partners. I find it easy to have set goal posts because the rules as a child changed so much

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

A bike?"

I was going to say - Sure, I want Spider-Man themed birthday parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

A bike?

I was going to say - Sure, I want Spider-Man themed birthday parties. "

You still can, Woody. It's not too late.

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

No but then I think I had a balanced and varied childhood.

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By *edeWoman
over a year ago

the abyss

I don't think that's true for me at all but I am very aware I am immensely lucky to have a loving and supportive family, which they always have been.

I think I look for the consistency and love I had growing up

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We grew up in different times, without the internet and mobile phones. So the way people interact or can interact is a lot more now. Awareness is also a lot more.

I agree with the sentiment though as I strive to alway be open and approachable with my children and be there for them.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

No. Purely because I would never give someone the trust, that they could give me all that.

I'm a happily lacking survivor and that's enough for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think that's true for me at all but I am very aware I am immensely lucky to have a loving and supportive family, which they always have been.

I think I look for the consistency and love I had growing up

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By *YDB75Man
over a year ago

East Yorkie

Yeh i think so. As a child i was constantly bullied and put down by others and lacked any sort of confidence. Socially awkward’ always in the background. Social media can help with that its like a mask but it can also bring things crashed back to normal pretty quick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

So true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

So true

This was very much me a few years ago (difficult mom/sibling relationship. ..)

I identified this then worked on myself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

Acceptance.

Mrs

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

Not for me, at least not consciously. But I can see why it might be true for some, especially (only?) if talking about LTR and seeking belonging, security and stability that they may have felt they missed in childhood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

I believe this is true.

But I'm not sure I like the personal implications this has for my life.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

A bike?"

It was the 3 storey Cindy house for me

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think we're destined to repeat most of the mistakes made by the people who brought us up except for the most glaring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's definitely something in that

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By *wingsnroundabouts82Couple
over a year ago

Fucksville

Absolutely, I like to think I'm doing pretty well at attaining what I feel I lacked during a difficult childhood. I won't let people's past mistakes affect the role I play in my children's lives or how I work at my marriage x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

I think more, what i lacked in childhood defined me as an adult and was instrumental in my decision not to carry on my gene pool

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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago

East London

I had a great childhood.

We weren't well off but we had everything we needed.

I don't think I've looked for anything.

I'll have to think about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tends to be more a case that you settle for what you experienced in childhood

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

This is one of those questions with a non definitive answer because people's opinions and thoughts will be based around their own experiences

Some say yay, some say nay.

As an academic I would say humans are biologically driven to be social....our early interactions and attachments shape us so yes your statement could be true.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

Nope , never wanted to be the centre of attention as a kid don't want it now and certainly don't want it in a relationship , to be with a woman that wants to be the centre of attention..that they think the World rotates around them ..?.. absolutely no thanks .

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By *ixieAndHerKingCouple
over a year ago

Debauchery

Control and discipline?

I had a pretty free, occasionally wild childhood, the product of parents who partied hard when they weren't taking in numerous waifs and strays!

Maybe there is something to it...

Cherry x

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Not sure on relationships but certainly with food! Alot of what I remember as a child revolved around being hungry! Have to try and keep cuboards/fridge/freezer well stocked these days x

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Not sure on relationships but certainly with food! Alot of what I remember as a child revolved around being hungry! Have to try and keep cuboards/fridge/freezer well stocked these days x"

I hadn't thought of that one. I don't remember being hungry but there were a lot of us and we always had half a tomato each and mum would cut mars bars into sections for us. I vowed that I would always eat whole tomatoes, whole mars bars and whole Tim's of soup when I grew up

The funny thing is I doubt I could eat a while mars bar and nowadays I doubt I could buy a tomato

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Not sure on relationships but certainly with food! Alot of what I remember as a child revolved around being hungry! Have to try and keep cuboards/fridge/freezer well stocked these days x

The funny thing is I doubt I could eat a while mars bar and nowadays I doubt I could buy a tomato "

Ha ha yes true! Tbh I eat a lot less these days 2! Were 5 of us children parents did their best both worked ! We did allways have a holiday though! X

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

^^ I'm laughing at my typos

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

Not necessarily

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Nah.

I had plenty of spanking and not letting anyone get too close to me in childhood too

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Tends to be more a case that you settle for what you experienced in childhood "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Tends to be more a case that you settle for what you experienced in childhood "

Same difference

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd say it applies to those who act infantile as adults? So called "daddy/mummy issues" working it's way to surface sometimes in very strange ways.

Other than that I think I seek the relation I have seen to be working, surviving and thriving. A recreation of that. Not filling the gaps of for example not feeling loved enough or other stereotypical things like absentee parent being replaced by someone acting in that capacity.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

An action man with gripping hands.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You repeat the trauma of your parents in ever more inventive and destructive ways maybe.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You repeat the trauma of your parents in ever more inventive and destructive ways maybe. "

yep unless you self-intervene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

No, but what I got and what I witnessed is what I'll never tolerate or accept or seek.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"“What you lacked in childhood is what you seek in your adult relationships”

An action man with gripping hands. "

Or shifty eyes?

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"Not for me, but what I packed in childhood I make sure my children don't.

Mrs "

Pretty much this. I've modelled my adult and parenting life on doing precisely the opposite to my parents. I have my maternal grandparents as role models.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not for me, but what I packed in childhood I make sure my children don't.

Mrs

Pretty much this. I've modelled my adult and parenting life on doing precisely the opposite to my parents. I have my maternal grandparents as role models. "

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