FabSwingers.com forum: How secure/insecure are you in yourself ?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Reading various threads there seems to be quite some insecure people on here ?

So my question is simple. How secure, or insecure, would you say you are as a person ?

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

I'm extremely secure and fixed in myself, who I am, what I stand for.

How I am in the world can be a problem, and there are psychological sequelae of that. But on my own, I'm grand

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Depends on how you define secure, really.

I know exactly who I am and what I am, and I'm generally very happy with both.

Do I overthink things and spiral and feel unworthy sometimes as well? Also yes.

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By *aitonelMan
over a year ago

Away for Christmas

"Depends on how you define secure, really.

I know exactly who I am and what I am, and I'm generally very happy with both.

Do I overthink things and spiral and feel unworthy sometimes as well? Also yes."

That's what she said. And I have to throw myself in and agree with that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have my good and bad days ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am enough

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m secure in all my honest answers, and I’ll own everything I believe in.

I know exactly who I am, I spend enough time with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends on the day and subject. Am I secure in who I am as a person? Totally, I am what I am.

Do I always feel secure in my looks/figure etc? No I don’t, but I’ve got no interest in bringing up 3 girls to see their mum insecure with her body. So I own it, if I want a cake and pizza, im bloody well eating it!

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a confident layer over a needy bitch hiding a core of absolute self reliance.

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By *ong-leggedblondWoman
over a year ago

Next Door

I am enough the way I am.

I believe that most days, I do have this devil on my shoulder that tells me different often. It's a battle that I'm finally starting too win.

And I'm a good actress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I'm incredibly insecure. About looks, career, personal life, the constant worry of wanting to be enough and fulfilled. But I'll always try to put on a secure front, not to really hide any weaknesses but as I don't really need the fuss.

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

Very secure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get really insecure about the way I look and my body. I have my days where I’m like “no one loves me”

but if I’m having a good day then I don’t really care what anyone thinks about me. Depends on what mood I wake up in I guess.

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By *ack 500Man
over a year ago

stafford

Half the week feeeling pretty damn good , the other half feeling shite about my self

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Depends on how you define secure, really.

I know exactly who I am and what I am, and I'm generally very happy with both.

Do I overthink things and spiral and feel unworthy sometimes as well? Also yes."

This.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I'm fairly self assured

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I spent too many decades being secure for everyone else and not secure enough for myself.

That changed at the beginning of this decade and I haven't looked back since but the last 15 months have been challenging health-wise and not getting better is frustrating more than security related.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

As I started the thread to wanted to give some feedback. Some really interesting reads here.

Some of the people mentioning how insecure they are I had down as v secure.

Perception is a wonderful thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup, definitely insecure about some aspects of my body, but in a mental capacity, I’m kind of secure - that’s excluding the persistent depressive disorder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I recognise I'm imperfect but it doesn't make me feel insecure. I think insecurity stems from how you think other people perceive you. That's the dragon you have to slay.

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

[Removed by poster at 06/03/23 18:26:40]

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By *hroatQueen_CATV/TS
over a year ago

Carlisle

"I am enough

"
This!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my work situations and activities I choose to partake I’m pretty confident, always have been as I am sure of my abilities and limitations.

In some social situations I am uncomfortable rather than insecure.

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

On the whole - I know my worth. I’m secure in myself. But I’m by no means cocky or big headed. I’ve needed a little bit of reminding here & there. On occasion I might have niggling self doubts, but I usually pull up my big girl pants & brave it out. I’m not perfect, but I’m perfectly fine…. Above all else I am a good person with a good heart.

I do have one area of huge insecurity, but it’s fairly newly unearthed. I’m working on it.

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By *YDB75Man
over a year ago

East Yorkie

Quite insure and overthink. My confidence slowly builds up to a good point where im happy in my skin..

THEN somebody will make a comment or opinion and it all comes crashing down again and the process starts all over again

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By *ubal1Man
over a year ago

Newry Down

For decades, I have been consistently secure with myself and my sexuality.

However, in my youth I was involved in several toxic relationships that eroded my natural confidence and made me sensitive to any ridicule and criticism.

After having come to the realisation of the effects that these three so-called friendships were having on my personality, I resolved to end them, forever, and did so, to the shock of these individuals.

When you are true to your self, and deal effectively with problem relationships it boosts one's esteem.

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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

Very secure in myself, both personally and professionally.

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By *igDave8Man
over a year ago

Tonbridge

Very secure. That’s why all my pics are just of my big dick. Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm secure in myself in some ways and insecure in other parts. But I don't dwell on it and feel sorry for myself. I try to focus on being positive, and having a strong mindset. Once upon a time I would constantly tear myself down over never being enough, but now those thoughts are not as significant and something I work hard to move away from. I don't even know if this makes sense but there we go.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

This is a great question so here is my honest answer.

I am going through growth in my life and I’m stopping just being a giver and starting to actually go after what I want.

When I give I’m secure about that role. Now I’m stepping into the person I want to be I suffer from imposter syndrome at times. I guess you could call that insecurity

Marc

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"On the whole - I know my worth. I’m secure in myself. But I’m by no means cocky or big headed. I’ve needed a little bit of reminding here & there. On occasion I might have niggling self doubts, but I usually pull up my big girl pants & brave it out. I’m not perfect, but I’m perfectly fine…. Above all else I am a good person with a good heart.

I do have one area of huge insecurity, but it’s fairly newly unearthed. I’m working on it. "

Is it your ability to wear matching socks?

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Very secure

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

I do have one area of huge insecurity, but it’s fairly newly unearthed. I’m working on it.

Is it your ability to wear matching socks?"

Spotted that one then?

. It’s actually hard work to perfectly mismatch them.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

So, I am curious how you concluded from posts that people might be insecure?

I am not criticising you, I am just genuinely curious how the online persona and posts could be indicative of somebody's self-confidence for example.

Is the about the topic? Or the words used?

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

I do have one area of huge insecurity, but it’s fairly newly unearthed. I’m working on it.

Is it your ability to wear matching socks?

Spotted that one then?

. It’s actually hard work to perfectly mismatch them. "

I thought we were going to be treated to a foot puppet show!!

In fact, that might have to be my next one

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

No comment. Not prepared to look that closely in case it all falls down like a house of cards.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"So, addressed to the OP this time as I had intended to, apologies....I am curious how you concluded from posts that people might be insecure?

I am not criticising you, I am just genuinely curious how the online persona and posts could be indicative of somebody's self-confidence for example.

Is the about the topic? Or the words used?

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By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

I am pretty secure and happy in myself. I realised early on that most people are too worried about themselves to worry about me and that knowledge feels like a superpower.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Insecurity is for weak. And I’m not weak either, I have to be strong for my son to teach him, world is cruel and full with problems and none of our problems will get you anywhere good.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I came to the realisation that I'm much more insecure than I used to think i was, and i don't care anymore, I just get on with it.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"So, I am curious how you concluded from posts that people might be insecure?

I am not criticising you, I am just genuinely curious how the online persona and posts could be indicative of somebody's self-confidence for example.

Is the about the topic? Or the words used?

There have been a ton of threads where people make it clear that they're insecure and lack confidence.. particularly in relation to how they look

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be very confident and secure however that was completely knocked out of me.

My lovely FWB has brought it back and now I’m back in a good place x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Secure. Fuck me my latest thread taught me that

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By *heVonMatterhornsCouple
over a year ago

Lincoln

Depends on the day

LvM

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"So, I am curious how you concluded from posts that people might be insecure?

I am not criticising you, I am just genuinely curious how the online persona and posts could be indicative of somebody's self-confidence for example.

Is the about the topic? Or the words used?

There have been a ton of threads where people make it clear that they're insecure and lack confidence.. particularly in relation to how they look "
Ah ok, I am not here all the time but that would make sense.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Very secure

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I feel secure in myself and accept my imperfections as defined by others. That said, others are allowed to have an opinion of me. If I want to hear the opinions they hold, I will ask for them. If they want to tell me without my asking, that is their perfect right to do but it does not mean I have to believe their beliefs.. It is really quite simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In lots of ways I'm very insecure. Particularly about my body and my looks. I very often don't feel good enough or worthy enough .

I mask it most of the time but I see patterns over the years that make it clear

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan
over a year ago

Glasgow / London

I’m great, me.

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By *agneto.Man
over a year ago

Bham

Depends on the day and depends on the situation. Generally not too bad and will try to fake it till I make it when I am feeling insecure.

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By *ustful_connectionCouple
over a year ago

cornwall

I’m quite insecure with my body! After 4 c sections I really hate my stomach (which I’m working on) and I worry about my boobs too.I’m confident whilst playing if I’m sure others don’t mind but I always think I don’t look very sexy in lingerie etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some days I'm extremely secure and full of self confidence.

This week...after the insults and comments I've received from not only people on here but in person, I'm not so secure and confident.

People really can be twats and not give a shit how their words can make others feel.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some days I'm extremely secure and full of self confidence.

This week...after the insults and comments I've received from not only people on here but in person, I'm not so secure and confident.

People really can be twats and not give a shit how their words can make others feel."

That's really awful and you shouldn't have to put up with that. You are stronger in every way than those people and try not to let them undermine your confidence

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some days I'm extremely secure and full of self confidence.

This week...after the insults and comments I've received from not only people on here but in person, I'm not so secure and confident.

People really can be twats and not give a shit how their words can make others feel.

That's really awful and you shouldn't have to put up with that. You are stronger in every way than those people and try not to let them undermine your confidence

Thank you. I try to rise above it but it's not always easy when it's something so personal to me. I'll say it again, twats they are, twats. If I say that enough I'll feel better.

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By *riving_Home_For_MimiWoman
over a year ago

Hampshire/Dorset

Massively insecure

but very good at hiding it.

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By *olly_chromaticTV/TS
over a year ago

Stockport

I've improved as I've learned how to tell people to go fuck themselves. Funny thing is, at least in my experience, the more you become able to tell tossers to get stuffed, the fewer tossers you seem to find yourself near in the first place.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I’m pretty secure in most aspects.

I’m secure enough to recognise and acknowledge my own short comings , without it making me feel insecure.

I’m secure enough that people who try gaslighting me usually end up getting burnt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Some days I'm extremely secure and full of self confidence.

This week...after the insults and comments I've received from not only people on here but in person, I'm not so secure and confident.

People really can be twats and not give a shit how their words can make others feel.

That's really awful and you shouldn't have to put up with that. You are stronger in every way than those people and try not to let them undermine your confidence

Thank you. I try to rise above it but it's not always easy when it's something so personal to me. I'll say it again, twats they are, twats. If I say that enough I'll feel better."

Personal abuse can be really nasty. The twat calling will help get it out of your system!

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By *oubleswing2019Man
over a year ago

Colchester

"Reading various threads there seems to be quite some insecure people on here ?

So my question is simple. How secure, or insecure, would you say you are as a person ?"

Comfortably so, thank you.

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By *ldFashionedGentMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Absolutely fine in my own skin. Know who I am and have made peace with that some time ago

Are there things I’d like to learn, things I’d like to improve? Absolutely. But I wouldn’t call that an insecurity.

Perhaps a little too introspective, honest and a little over-sharing maybe

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

After some considerstion, a little insecure. Yet I hade it with a thick layer of sarcastic wit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm totally insecure.

I was very unaware/self confident in my teens. Then due to mental health issues triggered by post natal depression, I was an absolute wreck for several years. It took a long time to claw myself back, and I've spent far more decades as not myself, than I was ever myself. But shit changes, time moves on, and I know myself so much more for self awareness kicking in. I don't hate me as a person. I don't always like me either! But I can live with myself daily. Because I'm the only person who can ever really judge me when it counts

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

Fairly insecure because of my weight mainly.

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By *ydrewMan
over a year ago

forest

In real life I'm very secure in myself. Good at my job. Make friends easy have good life. But on here I'm very insecure. Fab does something to me.

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By *ainbows_can_be_metal_tooCouple
over a year ago

Darlington

Mr here. I'm quite insecure in my appearance because since I got covid my lungs were fucked for a long time and I piled on the weight. Lost alot of it but I'm still not where I feel comfortable.

I like my face but mainly because my daddy beard covers most of it lol

Career and sexuality wise I'm massively secure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you mean in relation to appearance or attractiveness? Fairly secure with the odd "ugly day" thrown in for good measure.

In my beliefs and opinions, pretty secure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say secure with insecure sprinkles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To sum it up : I am secured in my insecurities.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Secure - without being conceited and/or arrogant (I believe and told)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It varies. Mostly I’m good, secure in who I am with the occasional period of doubt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pretty secure, we all have moments of self-doubt or days when we're sub-par but generally I'm confident in myself and my values.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m confident to be independent and in most life situations but looks wise I’m very shy and don’t see what other people see but I like that because I wouldn’t want to be arrogant or vain.

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By *BootyfulDayWoman
over a year ago

…

The last year or so I've gotten a lot more insecure....I don't love it at all but trying to work on it!

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By *andycandy88Woman
over a year ago

Northolt

"Reading various threads there seems to be quite some insecure people on here ?

So my question is simple. How secure, or insecure, would you say you are as a person ?"

I'm very secure in myself, I get irritated by insecure people because they is no perfect body and one type fits all desires sorts of bodies.

We have all had to work on ourselves to become the people that we are today and we have all learnt to love what we do like about our bodies and ourselves and gradually work on the rest to grow within ourselves love ourselves so we can let others love us for who we are

Insecure people don't realise how unfair they are to themselves but also others around them that feel obliged to rub their back or hand and reassure them

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