FabSwingers.com forum: Seeing married people

By *lder A Wiser Passion OP Woman
over a year ago

morecambe

Some may say its not right

I say married folk seeing single folk is well out of order

If your married you want to play away then make it even Stevens

See some one who married like your self who got as much to loss as you have

Not fair on the single going home alone when you go back to other half

Not really fair all around

Some married folk have been given the ok to play away so gues that ok to do

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think if married people without permission weren't demonised, judged and criticised they'd be comfortable declaring it. Thereby giving everyone the information they need when deciding to meet.

Single people presumably know they're going home alone though whatever the marital status of the people they meet.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

"Some may say its not right

I say married folk seeing single folk is well out of order

If your married you want to play away then make it even Stevens

See some one who married like your self who got as much to loss as you have

Not fair on the single going home alone when you go back to other half

Not really fair all around

Some married folk have been given the ok to play away so gues that ok to do"

Setting aside the fact that we don't know what goes on in anyone's lives, what makes you think that the single person is unhappy with their situation? Maybe they're perfectly happy being single and have their life how they want it.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

One of my partners is happily married. I'm happily not. Why is that unfair if everyone is happy?

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By *isstinseltoesWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

I think it's up to the individual to decide if they're happy to meet a married person.

I wouldn't unless their partner knew about it,but others aren't as concerned about marital status.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I struggle to get replies as being married and honest about being married on here if I wasn't honest I possibly could of had several meets

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By *onnyadtMan
over a year ago

Uttoxeter

There's plenty of happily married people on here playing with singletons, nowt wrong with that.

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

I don't massively have an issue. Just a shame when the married partner makes grandiose statements and makes it feel like a meaningful relationship, when in truth you're way down a long list of priorities.

Their life moves on etc, the single person's doesn't. My married partner had a baby whilst we were together and was trying for number 2 and my life just stagnated. He got me pregnant (on purpose actually,

in fact several times ) and yes one made it (didn't abort like he wanted me to) much to his complete and utter outrage

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Some may say its not right

I say married folk seeing single folk is well out of order

If your married you want to play away then make it even Stevens

See some one who married like your self who got as much to loss as you have

Not fair on the single going home alone when you go back to other half

Not really fair all around

Some married folk have been given the ok to play away so gues that ok to do"
single people are used to going home alone

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By * F 2018Couple
over a year ago

shropshire

"There's plenty of happily married people on here playing with singletons, nowt wrong with that. "

If they are happily married why are they cheating and it is cheating if their wife doesn't know

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By *an hjCouple
over a year ago

Stowmarket

Is this like in the Bruce Willis film?

“ I see married people”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you go in with your eyes open and your heart closed then it can actually work quite well

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"If they are happily married why are they cheating and it is cheating if their wife doesn't know

My married partner isn't cheating on his wife. You can be happily married and still have other partners with your spouse's enthusiastic consent

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By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

So I am married. Coming up 5 years now. I joined Fab at 19 years old and have been a member ever since. My wife does not know this life. She knows I had sex with other people before we met but not to the extent of Fab. She was a virgin when we met so we had a pretty good sex life as she was discovering new things and I was teaching.

Then we made the decision to have kids. Then began a painful journey of infertility, IVF and miscarriages. My daughter was born in October last year but me and the wife haven’t been physical for nearly two years (ivf daughter I was intimate with a cup).

Fab has provided a source of comfort and advice and allowed me to find the sexual stimulation I want without pestering my wife for it. Would I meet and play with someone without her knowledge? I can’t say for sure. I am not looking for an affair but sex has been off the table in our relationship for some time.

I think as long as the play partner understands the situation and everyone is adult about it then do what you want.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't massively have an issue. Just a shame when the married partner makes grandiose statements and makes it feel like a meaningful relationship, when in truth you're way down a long list of priorities.

in fact several times ) and yes one made it (didn't abort like he wanted me to) much to his complete and utter outrage "

Do you tell it the story of daddy at bedtime?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I am married. Coming up 5 years now. I joined Fab at 19 years old and have been a member ever since. My wife does not know this life. She knows I had sex with other people before we met but not to the extent of Fab. She was a virgin when we met so we had a pretty good sex life as she was discovering new things and I was teaching.

I think as long as the play partner understands the situation and everyone is adult about it then do what you want. "

Heartwarming that you can still wank into a cup for your wife.

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By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Heartwarming that you can still wank into a cup for your wife."

Does that kind of comment make you feel good? Absolutely pointless and unneeded. I hope you don’t have to experience the stress and pressure infertility can put on a relationship. Wanking into a cup is unfortunately what it boils down to. No intimacy, no affection, numerous daily injections and painful procedures for my wife. Mix in the Miscarriages and heartache and it’s a recipe for disaster toward a love life.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Heartwarming that you can still wank into a cup for your wife.

I'm sure you're right.

I'm also sure that the things your wife went through for a family that you both claimed to want don't give her a right to clarity and honesty about what you get up to when she's not looking. It's not like she's suffering a lack of intimacy too after all

The comment was harsh. But so is the reality.

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By *ympho6969Woman
over a year ago

glasgow

Some like the idea of hooking up with someone married, knowing they will go back home to someone.

I personally avoid married men playing away without permission, but with, fair game. If it works for all involved, go for it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If only Fab was a place with zero judgement we would all be more aware of peoples situations.

I have no issues with what anyone does provided it is legal.

We get one life, enjoy it as you see fit.

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By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"Heartwarming that you can still wank into a cup for your wife.

I'm sure you're right.

The comment was harsh. But so is the reality."

Thank you. But just To be clear. I haven’t met anyone since we have been together. I am open and honest with the fact I am married in my profile and she doesn’t know. I am here purely for advice, forums and chatting to people. I don’t view Fab the same way as I once did. It’s now more of a support network to talk about the things you can’t talk about with your mates in the pub etc. there are so many great people on here that have advice from their world and lives.

Lack of intimacy is something I have discussed with fab friends and now I have some ideas to help build it back into the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heartwarming that you can still wank into a cup for your wife.

I'm sure you're right.

The comment was harsh. But so is the reality.

Lack of intimacy is something I have discussed with fab friends and now I have some ideas to help build it back into the relationship.

You don't need to justify yourself. Just ignore the Fab morality police.

They always pop up and tend to be the more bitter people in society.

Brave of you to open up about difficult subjects like fertility.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Thank you. But just To be clear. I haven’t met anyone since we have been together. I am open and honest with the fact I am married in my profile and she doesn’t know. I am here purely for advice, forums and chatting to people. I don’t view Fab the same way as I once did. It’s now more of a support network to talk about the things you can’t talk about with your mates in the pub etc. there are so many great people on here that have advice from their world and lives.

Lack of intimacy is something I have discussed with fab friends and now I have some ideas to help build it back into the relationship.

It's the lack of openness and honesty with the wife that causes the hostility on here I find. Too many people have been in that situation and oblivious at the time, and it can really fucken hurt the people who are being kept in the dark about it. That she's already clearly suffering will provoke a more aggressive response from people who feel strongly about such things.

That you haven't been meeting other people is probably good. That you don't actually know if you would, less so. That you've hidden this side of yourself for your entire marriage, well.

Your journey is your own. Your choices are your own to make. In a public forum people will pass comment and it won't always be favourable. Particularly around things like this.

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By *limBobStretchedPantsMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I see your point PreyToTheFairies. I think I would happily meet socially with people but as a playmate I seriously doubt it. Of course the times when the temptation is strongest are the times when your relationship is the weakest. I sincerely hope my moral compass would win out.

Fab is such a strange entity to the people who don’t understand it. There are people on here who still don’t understand it. I think that’s why I have never told her about it as a website and kind of lumped it in with other dating sites. For someone who was very inexperienced in life as well as sex. Hearing your husband prior to meeting you was a swinger would blow her mind in a bad way as she has this image of swingers all being disease riddles miscreants. It’s hard to explain I think in a forum.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"Fab is such a strange entity to the people who don’t understand it. There are people on here who still don’t understand it. I think that’s why I have never told her about it as a website and kind of lumped it in with other dating sites. For someone who was very inexperienced in life as well as sex. Hearing your husband prior to meeting you was a swinger would blow her mind in a bad way as she has this image of swingers all being disease riddles miscreants. It’s hard to explain I think in a forum. "

Honestly I struggle to grasp the idea of getting through dating and engagement without telling them something so relevant. But then I'm just an open book of word vomit, I appreciate most people are not.

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

in fact several times ) and yes one made it (didn't abort like he wanted me to) much to his complete and utter outrage

Do you tell it the story of daddy at bedtime?"

That's a pretty shitty comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in fact several times ) and yes one made it (didn't abort like he wanted me to) much to his complete and utter outrage "

Absolutely this. No pregnancy involved in my story but I was strung along for years. More fool me I know. I now just feel pity for his wife as he's moved on to his next "victim" x

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

in fact several times ) and yes one made it (didn't abort like he wanted me to) much to his complete and utter outrage

Absolutely this. No pregnancy involved in my story but I was strung along for years. More fool me I know. I now just feel pity for his wife as he's moved on to his next "victim" x"

After miscarriages etc my little girl is the best thing that came out of this. She was very much planned but he has zero interest in her (think he assumed every pregnancy would not go to term). Yes he is still on here. I don't think he'll make the mistake of another rship but seeking out bb sex still

Out of interest would you tell his wife if you were able or stay clear and just let him get on with it?

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By *andC1000Couple
over a year ago

Ashford

Lack of intimacy is something I have discussed with fab friends and now I have some ideas to help build it back into the relationship.

That you haven't been meeting other people is probably good. That you don't actually know if you would, less so. That you've hidden this side of yourself for your entire marriage, well.

Your journey is your own. Your choices are your own to make. In a public forum people will pass comment and it won't always be favourable. Particularly around things like this."

exactly this. If people would communicate more life could be much simpler and hopefully more fun. It’s the continual secrets and lies that hurt when you’ve been in that situation.

Be brave and talk to your wife, you may find she has the same anxieties as you’ve encountered about the whole situation. Unless people actually talk (and listen) you’ll never understand each other or be able to support each other truly.

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By *neforutoMan
over a year ago

Fantasy land in the SW

Im married and playing alone and yes my wife doesnt know either, she may suspect it but doesnt want to approach the subject. Im not looking to replace her, for me this is just sexual intmacy which is no longer available in our marraige. I too get the moral police sending me messages and I used to get upset by it and now I'm just curious as to why they feel they have a right to judge without knowing all the facts. I could have lied outright and not stated Im married but I would rather let others know and let them choose. Ive always believed that it costs nothing to be polite and I now also believe that some others judge on their fears rather than the facts and thats more abuot their insecurities than my behaviour. Stay safe and hace a groovy weekend folks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Heartwarming that you can still wank into a cup for your wife.

She's clearly lucky to have you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in fact several times ) and yes one made it (didn't abort like he wanted me to) much to his complete and utter outrage

Do you tell it the story of daddy at bedtime?

That's a pretty shitty comment"

It's a beautiful story.

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By *atnip make me purrWoman
over a year ago

Reading

"Im married and playing alone and yes my wife doesnt know either, she may suspect it but doesnt want to approach the subject. Im not looking to replace her, for me this is just sexual intmacy which is no longer available in our marraige. I too get the moral police sending me messages and I used to get upset by it and now I'm just curious as to why they feel they have a right to judge without knowing all the facts. I could have lied outright and not stated Im married but I would rather let others know and let them choose. Ive always believed that it costs nothing to be polite and I now also believe that some others judge on their fears rather than the facts and thats more abuot their insecurities than my behaviour. Stay safe and hace a groovy weekend folks

To me is not so much a morality question as being able to forecast the pain you will cause your wife when she finds out. I know nothing of your situation and if I did you may have some of my sympathy but your wife has more as she doesn't get any choice but will be so hurt.

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By *eard and BoobsCouple
over a year ago

Portstewart

We don't judge people we try to only do what we can to avoid this situation as we wouldn't like it if the roles were reversed

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Happy to be single going home alone! But wouldn't meet attatched anyway! X

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By *abasaurus RexMan
over a year ago

Gloucestershire

"Some may say its not right

I say married folk seeing single folk is well out of order

If your married you want to play away then make it even Stevens

See some one who married like your self who got as much to loss as you have

Not fair on the single going home alone when you go back to other half

Not really fair all around

Some married folk have been given the ok to play away so gues that ok to do"

You do you. Let others make their own choices, as you’ve been free to make yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to have a real thing for married men, then I had "a relationship" of sorts with one for 5 months, without going into too much detail, let's just say I've had my fix of married men and have changed "my type" that I look for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't judge, people always have their reasons for doing what they do and it's non of my business...

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
over a year ago

Haywards Heath

Marrieds are just exploring, not looking for a 'new' relationship. So your safe.

Guys just want to try anal - both ways - without being judged for 'gay thoughts' or treating their partner like a porn whore.

Maybe some are just reaffirming that they really are happy with their partner.

Some are just insecure and will let their partner stray, in the hope it's enough not to lose them.

Some just wish their girl had dick!

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Who said it’s not fair? They may be happy with that situation. Why are you telling people what to do if it doesn’t affect you? Most of those singles are probably happy to be having their fun and going home alone!

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

Can’t speak for others but not being married or in permanent relationship has always suited me just fine.

I have always valued my ability to do as I choose without having to consider others, from as basic and simple as the groceries I put in the trolley, whether the window is open at night and listening to The Archers.

To some , they will say I’m selfish, to me I’m living my life for me, not somebody else, you don’t get a second go

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"Can’t speak for others but not being married or in permanent relationship has always suited me just fine.

To some , they will say I’m selfish, to me I’m living my life for me, not somebody else, you don’t get a second go "

100% this! I think I've become selfish over the years for not wanting to share my life with a permanent person! Will never b in that kind of relationship ever again I'm living my best life x

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Some may say its not right

I say married folk seeing single folk is well out of order

If your married you want to play away then make it even Stevens

See some one who married like your self who got as much to loss as you have

Not fair on the single going home alone when you go back to other half

Not really fair all around

Some married folk have been given the ok to play away so gues that ok to do"

Your profile stares you are doing this though.

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Do you tell it the story of daddy at bedtime?"

I may have chuckled.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I see married people.

Walking around like regular people.

All the time. They're everywhere.

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By *uri00620Woman
over a year ago

Croydon

"Do you tell it the story of daddy at bedtime?

I may have chuckled.

A parent walking out on their child is always hilarious

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By *hoirCouple
over a year ago

Clacton/Bury St. Edmunds

"Do you tell it the story of daddy at bedtime?

I may have chuckled.

A parent walking out on their child is always hilarious

Why are you making things up? I never said that was what I chuckling at. You'd be happier if you stopped being offended at things that aren't actually there.

I actually side with you in all what you mentioned but you can't feign offence at things that only exist to you as you thought it all up.

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By *atthew78Man
over a year ago

Winsford

As long as all people involved know and understand what is going on and where they stand then it shouldn't be a problem

When 1 person doesn't know its wrong

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

I am single and meet with married men.

I know I'll probably get flack for this but whatever.

They are honest with me and I know the score.

Their family will always come first and that's fine by me and exactly how it should be. I, in turn, don't ask for more than they can offer.

I don't see OPs point of married people meeting singles as not being fair.

If everyone is open and honest and they are happy with their decisions it surely can't be classed as unfair.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"I am single and meet with married men.

I know I'll probably get flack for this but whatever.

They are honest with me and I know the score.

Their family will always come first and that's fine by me and exactly how it should be. I, in turn, don't ask for more than they can offer.

I don't see OPs point of married people meeting singles as not being fair.

If everyone is open and honest and they are happy with their decisions it surely can't be classed as unfair. "

I wouldn't give u flack as its entirely your choice but I will say if the wife/partner is unaware its totally unfair x

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

I feel awkward seeing a married woman for some reason even with the husbands permission (unless they're seperated), hence why I don't do them or couples. But for some stramge reason love viewing my profike and trying every means to contact me

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By *ld StrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Telford

Married folk seeing single folk is our of order. Sorry does a band of gold take away the single person's right to make there own decision to say no.

This whole married cheating debate has never or will ever be black and white. There are so many grey areas it's not just as simple as someone clean out cheating. Unless your part of that dynamic then people need to mind there own business.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I’d rather not be any part of someone else’s infidelity , although i think there’s occasions when I can be very understanding & it can actually help. As long as they are honest with me about it I can decide. What they tell others on here is their business

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I feel awkward seeing a married woman for some reason even with the husbands permission (unless they're seperated), hence why I don't do them or couples. But for some stramge reason love viewing my profike and trying every means to contact me "

why don’t you just block coupes from messaging you?

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Married folk seeing single folk is our of order. Sorry does a band of gold take away the single person's right to make there own decision to say no.

The bit that is black and white is the promise they made to be faithful and then broke it.

They chose to do that , they could have chosen not to, to warn their partner they are going to, or to wait & separate first. But I agree that’s none of anyones business other than the two people in the marriage.

So they shouldn’t try to justify it either( nearly always guys on here not women) saying sexless marriage etc., it’s the ultimate act of disloyalty they have to deal with themselves

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By *aribbean King 1985Man
over a year ago

South West London

why don’t you just block coupes from messaging you? "
I do block couples messaging me but thing is some of them have single profiles with the woman saying that she's married

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/03/23 14:08:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as long as all parties comfy with it cant see a problem, if someones playing away surely its that persons lookout?

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

"as long as all parties comfy with it cant see a problem, if someones playing away surely its that persons lookout?

Fair enough if all parties are aware yes! But for instance was asked today to meet a married man said his wife don't know he is on here! I said had I been meeting at mo which I'm not I wouldn't meet atatched and certainly not someone who is playing away with out knowledge of their partner as its cheating! He said it's not my problem as he would b doing the cheating! I said u would make it my business as I would be enabling you to cheat! X

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By *ill1411Man
over a year ago

Durham

I love my wife dearly we've been married for 40 years but she's had absolutely no interest in sex for over 20 of them, I've had a couple of fwb's in the past. Am I supposed to leave her or get a divorce? That's just not going to happen but I still need sex and the physical closeness and release that goes with it.

I'm not meeting at all at the moment because I'm caring for her.but once she's healthy again I will be meeting, does that make me the bastard that some of you seem to think married men being on here are.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Some may say its not right

I say married folk seeing single folk is well out of order

If your married you want to play away then make it even Stevens

See some one who married like your self who got as much to loss as you have

Not fair on the single going home alone when you go back to other half

Not really fair all around

Some married folk have been given the ok to play away so gues that ok to do"

Are you saying , that after sex he goes home to his family and you feel left alone and treated unfairly ?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"I love my wife dearly we've been married for 40 years but she's had absolutely no interest in sex for over 20 of them, I've had a couple of fwb's in the past. Am I supposed to leave her or get a divorce? That's just not going to happen but I still need sex and the physical closeness and release that goes with it.

The only person who can ever make that judgement on you. Would be your wife. NO-ONE else's opinion counts.

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By *ill1411Man
over a year ago

Durham

The only person who can ever make that judgement on you. Would be your wife. NO-ONE else's opinion counts."
thanks comtessa I appreciate your candour and understanding.

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