FabSwingers.com forum: Compliments

By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

I'm somebody who if I feel something or somebody is deserving of a compliment I will. I like to make others feel good about themselves where I can. I don't bullshit and say nice things for the sake of it, just to bring positivity. Men, Women, Trans it doesn't matter to me with compliments.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations?

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations? "

I tend to know who means it and who doesn’t. Especially if you’re friends and also if on here by how someone acts on the forums. I don’t give them willy nilly. If I give them I mean them. I’ve never done those compliment the person type threads.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

If a compliment is genuine (I can usually tell) I accept gracefully with a smile. If it's not genuine I accept gracefully with a smile while thinking : you're still not getting whatever it is you want '.

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations? "
i like to compliment too and still do it here even though sometimes its perceived as an everyday empty compliment

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations? i like to compliment too and still do it here even though sometimes its perceived as an everyday empty compliment

"
In fact i complimented dancer36 earlier and actually said no ulterior motive

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I tend to know who means it and who doesn’t. Especially if you’re friends and also if on here by how someone acts on the forums. I don’t give them willy nilly. If I give them I mean them. I’ve never done those compliment the person type threads. "

I have done them but only if I feel like what I'm saying would be genuine and not just blowing smoke

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations?

Neither have I or the 'rate me' ones

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations?

Neither have I or the 'rate me' ones "

Same. I’ve never done those either.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"If a compliment is genuine (I can usually tell) I accept gracefully with a smile. If it's not genuine I accept gracefully with a smile while thinking : you're still not getting whatever it is you want '.

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but."

I admit I don't go up to random strangers and give compliments, sometimes I wish we could and brighten somebody's day but the risk of it being unwelcome is too high.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

" i like to compliment too and still do it here even though sometimes its perceived as an everyday empty compliment

Same. It's just a shame that it can feel empty to them despite it being honest and genuine.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but.

I admit I don't go up to random strangers and give compliments, sometimes I wish we could and brighten somebody's day but the risk of it being unwelcome is too high."

I compliment women I don't know and have had women stop me on the street to compliment me. For obvious reasons I wouldn't do it to a man

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By *isge BeathaWoman
over a year ago

Here, There and Everywhere

I tend to think any compliments I receive on here are hollow and false.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but.

I admit I don't go up to random strangers and give compliments, sometimes I wish we could and brighten somebody's day but the risk of it being unwelcome is too high."

I do message people privately though, just not in public. Same if someone I like seems to be struggling a bit.

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By *affeine DuskMan
over a year ago

Caerphilly

You can feel it in the words, even written words, when it's sort of throwaway, right? It's a tough one to describe, but I think everyone can feel that, like an itch on the brain.

Dunno, Friday head on so I can't properly dig into that. But yeah man, giving proper compliments is great and they should be given to anyone if its genuine, regardless of 'what' they are.

P.s. lovely dong on you, pal.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I don't ever remember receiving a compliment from a random stranger before joining fab.

I take a lot of those I get on here with a pinch of salt because sometimes those offering need reciprocation.

I've never paid a compliment to someone I don't know either and even now after 6 years here I deliberately avoid offering them to people based on thread games or simply because they know how to take a pic.

I only offer genuine compliments to those I know deserve them.

There are a lot of people who claim they don't like smoke being blown up their backside but equally there are a lot who live for shallow validation and that doesn't just apply to fab.

There is an argument that compliments can make a persons day but they have no value if given for the sake of them.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

Compliments from men don't feel empty.

It's more about the sincerity in which they're delivered. Without expectation to it leading to more, said for the simple pure joy of giving it.

I can generally tell how well intended a compliment is. If it's meant, not a throwaway thing. Even in the written form - we all have a voice, and regardless of how aware of it we are I can read when it's disingenuous. It's like a poorly played chord, jarring in the mismatch between a voice and the reality.

I like compliments, regardless of the gender of the person giving them.

And I love compliments from men, I've had some really lovely ones the past few days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually like to compliment people all the time. Even stranger's . If i smell a scent on someone i will ask them what it is or how it suits them. Work colleagues as well. On hair, clothes earrings. Some people find it disconcerting i understand that. At fab socials i can get away with feeling the material of clothing of what people are wearing ( permission asked first and only around thier arms ) after i have told them they look fabulous. My partner puts it all down to Autism. But i just like people to know I've noticed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am ambivalent about receiving compliments. I don’t hand them out unless I really mean it either.

But the compliment which actually pisses me off is young women marching over in a nightclub to applaud me living authentically. Sorry poppet if I need your fucking approval for fighting for the freedoms you live in I’ll pop over and thank you. It’s taking down from people already standing below floor level.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but.

I admit I don't go up to random strangers and give compliments, sometimes I wish we could and brighten somebody's day but the risk of it being unwelcome is too high.

I compliment women I don't know and have had women stop me on the street to compliment me. For obvious reasons I wouldn't do it to a man "

And that is sort of what I'm getting at, a man generally won't have another guy compliment him. A woman won't do it for fear of unwanted advances and taken as more than a compliment.

And guys can't compliment women because it may be viewed as unwanted attention when all it is, is a simple compliment - no different to when a woman compliments another woman.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but.

I admit I don't go up to random strangers and give compliments, sometimes I wish we could and brighten somebody's day but the risk of it being unwelcome is too high.

I compliment women I don't know and have had women stop me on the street to compliment me. For obvious reasons I wouldn't do it to a man "

I think human nature is geared up to thinking what the ulterior motive might be. It may be genuinely meant but in other cases it may be a way of trying to get someone's attention as per the "rate me" threads

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In everyday day life it’s lovely to receive a compliment from someone.

I like to do the same. It’s always a shame however if they don’t know how to accept it.

On Fab it’s slightly different.

If I get a really lovely compliment I will reply but it’s the usually perceived as an encouragement for them to keep messaging so recently I’ve stopped.

That can work the other way round too. Sometimes I might spot some lovely lingerie and message to compliment the person and ask where they got it. The replies vary. It honestly doesn’t mean I’m trying to get into their knickers.

It’s a tricky one!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I only give compliments to people I know or am getting to know / flirting with, privately when we’ve chatted a bit. Always genuine, never about their natural appearance, but something they have done that deserves complimenting

If I receive one from someone who’s a complete stranger, like your hot I’m like oh ok , are you d*unk , a weirdo or if not what do you want then ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes it’s nice to be nice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am ambivalent about receiving compliments. I don’t hand them out unless I really mean it either.

Ha ha, brilliant.

I never thought how patronising that is..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Compliments from men don't feel empty.

It's more about the sincerity in which they're delivered. Without expectation to it leading to more, said for the simple pure joy of giving it.

I like compliments, regardless of the gender of the person giving them.

And I love compliments from men, I've had some really lovely ones the past few days

And you put into words so much better than me what I was wanting to say. I will also add to those compliments by saying how much I love reading your posts

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

The issue with "you know when it's genuine" is that I've honestly give actual compliments out to people (here and in person) and its sort of been brushed aside and treated as if it's false.

It is actually a bit of a blow to have an honest and genuine expression be treated as disingenuous.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I never give empty compliments, if I say it I mean it and I'll compliment men and women equally, with one difference I'd never compliment a man I didn't know but.

I admit I don't go up to random strangers and give compliments, sometimes I wish we could and brighten somebody's day but the risk of it being unwelcome is too high.

I compliment women I don't know and have had women stop me on the street to compliment me. For obvious reasons I wouldn't do it to a man

And that is sort of what I'm getting at, a man generally won't have another guy compliment him. A woman won't do it for fear of unwanted advances and taken as more than a compliment.

And guys can't compliment women because it may be viewed as unwanted attention when all it is, is a simple compliment - no different to when a woman compliments another woman. "

Experience and expectations get in the way.

A man approached me in the street when I was with my partner to comment on my outfit in a positive way. We both assumed he had no agenda other than he liked what I was wearing but we did look askance at each other because we just don't expect to be complimented by the opposite sex unless just because

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Compliments from men don't feel empty.

It's more about the sincerity in which they're delivered. Without expectation to it leading to more, said for the simple pure joy of giving it.

I like compliments, regardless of the gender of the person giving them.

And I love compliments from men, I've had some really lovely ones the past few days

And you put into words so much better than me what I was wanting to say. I will also add to those compliments by saying how much I love reading your posts

Aww thanks! That's really lovely. I won't do the slightly awkward batting away a compliment thing. It's nice hearing people enjoy reading my posts, I'm rather prone to waffling.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

Depends on the compliment on how its received, its all about context for me, saying 'I really like your new picture you look really good' for example can be received slightly differently to 'your tits look banging in that new pic and perfect for a titwank'

Tinder

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I am utterly incapable of receiving a compliment without immediately spiralling into thoughts of what the fuck does this person want from me to be saying that.

I'm getting better at smiling and accepting them on the surface. But the thoughts remain. Even from the people I care the most about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always compliment ladies, or offer positivity if I see they're feeling down. No hidden agendas, I'm guessing it'd be nice to read a sympathetic/complimentary message, to hep them feel better about themselves. They normally get deleted after being read, doesn't bother me, I've tried and that's all that matters in my eyes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

* help not hep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think random compliments without further intent is very sweet. As long as they aren't invasive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" And you put into words so much better than me what I was wanting to say. I will also add to those compliments by saying how much I love reading your posts

Aww thanks! That's really lovely. I won't do the slightly awkward batting away a compliment thing. It's nice hearing people enjoy reading my posts, I'm rather prone to waffling.

I'll try not to add to your blushes

but you come across very authentically and speak from the heart. And I'd be happy to share waffles with you anytime

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm awkward and uncomfortable receiving them but that's a reflection of myself. Guess I've never felt worthy of them so I don't take them as sincere from anyone, no matter how genuine I think the person is.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

" And you put into words so much better than me what I was wanting to say. I will also add to those compliments by saying how much I love reading your posts

Aww thanks! That's really lovely. I won't do the slightly awkward batting away a compliment thing. It's nice hearing people enjoy reading my posts, I'm rather prone to waffling.

I'll try not to add to your blushes

but you come across very authentically and speak from the heart. And I'd be happy to share waffles with you anytime

You're very sweet, thank you. I've been doubting myself a bit lately - especially when it comes to words. But this means a lot.

I don't think we're always aware of how much difference a well meaning compliment can make. Like last night, someone rather astutely complimented me. It was a simple paragraph, free from purple prose. But it made me smile and feel seen, like I'm okay as I am. I

I understand it can be be disheartening when well intended are disregarded but it's not a reflection of you most of the time. So keep giving genuine compliments when they freely flow from your hands and lips forum people, they do make a difference, even if small.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just say thank you

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By *opetop4UMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I send compliments but usually just to women who are far away.

"I know you're a million miles away but just wanted to say you look great / I love your profile."

I feel that they can take the compliment without feeling there's a hidden agenda.

Most times I'll get a polite reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" And you put into words so much better than me what I was wanting to say. I will also add to those compliments by saying how much I love reading your posts

Aww thanks! That's really lovely. I won't do the slightly awkward batting away a compliment thing. It's nice hearing people enjoy reading my posts, I'm rather prone to waffling.

I'll try not to add to your blushes

but you come across very authentically and speak from the heart. And I'd be happy to share waffles with you anytime

You're very sweet, thank you. I've been doubting myself a bit lately - especially when it comes to words. But this means a lot.

And the point about being acknowledged by other people for being the person you are makes a compliment all the more meaningful. Makes you think yes I do have value and don't have to try to be something I'm not. We don't know what others are going through and that genuine compliment could have a big impact on them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most forum compliments on here are seemingly incredulous and usually given by single men to women who post something like ‘I’m having a fat day’ to which the magical ‘you look gorgeous to me’ riposte appears.

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I think I'm a bit of an anomaly amongst the womenfolk here, in that I tend to perceive compliments from men as more genuine than those from women. Obviously you can tell a mile off which ones are being said in a vain attempt to enter knickers, and those are batted away politely. I don't know, perhaps because men don't tend to be as observant in general, but especially if it's beyond aesthetics, I just tend to accept it a lot easier from a man (fnarr fnarr).

I'm more likely to compliment men too. Perhaps I'm just a bit weird.

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Most forum compliments on here are seemingly incredulous and usually given by single men to women who post something like ‘I’m having a fat day’ to which the magical ‘you look gorgeous to me’ riposte appears. "

Certainly depends on the person giving the compliment. Most regulars (not all) are very supportive of each other despite some heated discussions, and genuinely want to uplift the person "having a fat day". Yet across the board it is viewed as a means to an end.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Nice dick on you op

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"I think I'm a bit of an anomaly amongst the womenfolk here, in that I tend to perceive compliments from men as more genuine than those from women. Obviously you can tell a mile off which ones are being said in a vain attempt to enter knickers, and those are batted away politely. I don't know, perhaps because men don't tend to be as observant in general, but especially if it's beyond aesthetics, I just tend to accept it a lot easier from a man (fnarr fnarr).

I'm more likely to compliment men too. Perhaps I'm just a bit weird. "

Yeah but you said it, you are weird!

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By *aitonel OP Man
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Nice dick on you op

Thank you! Much appreciated

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

I'm more likely to compliment men too. Perhaps I'm just a bit weird.

Yeah but you said it, you are weird! "

Aww, that's the best compliment I've had all day. Thank you

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Since they seem to be flying around today, it got me thinking about something.

However I know for a lot of women a compliment from a man can feel empty, especially a random guy. Likely because they hear it all the time regardless of if the compliment is genuine or not.

I welcome and am fine with receiving compliments from other men. I feel that guys don't so it enough, there tends to be an unspoken appreciation but never confirmed by words.

Giving compliments as a guy can be hard, despite as I say being somebody who is natural in giving them.

How do you personally feel about them in these situations? "

Good thread pal!

I like to pay compliments. In life, I feel like a giver. I’m probably happier making other people happy than making myself happy, it somehow feels more gooder

I rarely get compliments on Fab (I don’t need or expect them) unless I’m on one of *those* threads, and rarely even then, but I’m quite happy to dish them out with no agenda other than I like to give.

I totally get how women might feel it’s the first tentative step in an advance towards battle on pubic mound, or that guys might think “bit weird” but that’s up to them. And let’s face it, I can’t message most guys anyway.

All my comments are entirely genuine. Many’s the time I have been chatting with a guy at work or socially and commented on aftershave/shoes/hairstyle etc.

I get compliments IRL (very, very occasionally!) but it massively cheers up my day. For no other reason than someone just wanted to, I now feel buoyed.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

There's a fine fab forum line between a compliment and a patronising and/or scyhophantic comment.

I'm not against compliments at all but just from personal experience on here, a woman complimenting another woman is seen as more acceptable.

Scratch the surface sometimes though and especially if you are acquainted with the person offering the compliment and suddenly it is weaponised and designed to show them in a better light than the person being complimented.

A distraction with smoke and mirrors.

I've never subscribed to the idea that forum regulars as a whole are supportive mainly because my personal experience with some of the lovelies has shown them in a different light and all I can do is laugh.

Am I a cynic by nature? Not at all. Far from it in fact but on here very much so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t respond well with compliments; perhaps as they’ve generally been empty or tokenistic therefore I deem them as lacking meaning and truth.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

It only really means something to me, when someone says it to me... Not typed in a msg on here, but they actually say it, in the moment. The other night my fwb told me I was beautiful, now that really meant something

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"I send compliments but usually just to women who are far away.

"I know you're a million miles away but just wanted to say you look great / I love your profile."

I feel that they can take the compliment without feeling there's a hidden agenda.

Most times I'll get a polite reply."

See, this is the kind of thing I really don't like... But that's just me.

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

take it for what it is just a comlpiment,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It only really means something to me, when someone says it to me... Not typed in a msg on here, but they actually say it….."

Yep. I can’t remember the last time someone said something directly to me…. Or in text.

I think I remember someone telling me my kisses were nice…. So long ago now.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I find paying direct compliments, particularly in relation to someone's physical appearance, an unimaginative and insincere way to interact with someone, especially online

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