FabSwingers.com forum: Say something that sounds rude but isn't

By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

Had a good nosh at dinnertime .

Evening everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bollards!

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By *ensuallover1000Man
over a year ago

Somewhere In The Ether…

Ballcock (as are found in toilet cisterns)

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By *andering Welsh GuyMan
over a year ago

All over the place

Tight hard.. Turn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mastication

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By *atfuckerbristolMan
over a year ago

Wells

There’s a place in Essex called Vange

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There’s a place in Essex called Vange "

There's a little village near me called Wet Wang

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By *he love catsCouple
over a year ago

South Wales

Come

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At my last job I was training to do work for another client to the one I was working on with my manager telling me it was good for the company if I exposed myself to different clients

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By *mo512Man
over a year ago

LONDON

'My WENUS is out of whack'

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Got my finger stuck in a flange earlier.

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By *utterfly64Woman
over a year ago

Raynes Park

I went to the Horniman museum today. Does that count?! Made me snigger

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

I want to bang your back door in

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

That flange has a nice smooth rim.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

You can put that in your ninkynonk

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

What's a Tittifer?

I know what they are really but it sounds good as a question.

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By *UGGYBEAR2015Man
over a year ago

BRIDPORT

I used a lot of rim sealer when I was trying to mount a tyre earlier.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Turnip.

No wait. Turnip is a rude word.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

You can put that in your ninkynonk "

And you can shove it in your Pinkyponk, Sir

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By *ickshawedCouple
over a year ago

Wolverhampton

There's a beautiful pair of tits in my back garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been watching how cucumbers are measured

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

You can put that in your ninkynonk

And you can shove it in your Pinkyponk, Sir

Only if you let me play with your Tombliboos

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By *YDB75Man
over a year ago

East Yorkie

Mine is work related…

There is a new shaft in the box to fit but it may require the flange prepping first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Flange

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

You can put that in your ninkynonk

And you can shove it in your Pinkyponk, Sir

Only if you let me play with your Tombliboos

No. But my Haahoo might be free

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

Dick and Fanny liked to play with each other.

Sometimes Hans would join them after practicing his breaststroke.

As a threesome, they were always having fun adventures until, one day, Fanny couldn’t play because she wasn’t very well.

Hans played with Dick for a few days until Fanny was better and then they had a sleepover. It was then that Hans met Fanny’s friend, Clint. The girls had known each other since adolescence but only Fanny liked Dick. Clint took a shine to Hans and they spent a lot of time together.

Everything was going just fine until Dick became bored and looked for a new friend. He found Buttons but Fanny was not impressed and became jealous.

By now, Hans and Clint were best friends and playing on their own. Dick got into Buttons briefly but soon missed Fanny, especially when she stopped asking him to come over.

So, Dick reconnected with Fanny and only saw Buttons on special days.

As far as I know, they still play nicely together.

Phew!!

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

We have an invoicing code at work which is abbreviated to DP. It’s allocated from a different governing body and usually ends up as part of my assessment

(I’m trying to be none specific)

When my admin assistant calls across the office

“Do you know if Mrs Smith is getting DP”. I snigger every fucking time

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"We have an invoicing code at work which is abbreviated to DP. It’s allocated from a different governing body and usually ends up as part of my assessment

(I’m trying to be none specific)

When my admin assistant calls across the office

“Do you know if Mrs Smith is getting DP”. I snigger every fucking time

"
bet they are so innocent when saying it aswell Misty xx

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"We have an invoicing code at work which is abbreviated to DP. It’s allocated from a different governing body and usually ends up as part of my assessment

(I’m trying to be none specific)

When my admin assistant calls across the office

“Do you know if Mrs Smith is getting DP”. I snigger every fucking time

My toothbrush has DP on it. It stands for the Spanish supermarket brand "DeliPlus" but it tickles me every time I pick it up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I explain to a patient "you need to suck not blow" when instructing to use a machine at work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Genuine conversation I had with a colleague:

Me "How did your date in London go"

Her: "Lovely ... he took me up the Oxo tower"

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By *istyPeaksCouple
over a year ago

braintree

"We have an invoicing code at work which is abbreviated to DP. It’s allocated from a different governing body and usually ends up as part of my assessment

(I’m trying to be none specific)

When my admin assistant calls across the office

“Do you know if Mrs Smith is getting DP”. I snigger every fucking time

My toothbrush has DP on it. It stands for the Spanish supermarket brand "DeliPlus" but it tickles me every time I pick it up

That’s unsanitary

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"Genuine conversation I had with a colleague:

Me "How did your date in London go"

Her: "Lovely ... he took me up the Oxo tower"

I ruined the speeches at my mate’s wedding when his father in law told the congregation he was so proud his new son in law had taken his daughter up the Amazon! Juvenile, I know, but I couldn’t stop laughing.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

That’s too big a portion…(colleague dishing out.birthday cake)

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By *itty Kat ABWoman
over a year ago

North Somerset

I'm done

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By *irty-pairCouple
over a year ago

South Essex

Great tits, blue tits and a nice shag

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meh

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By *ldFashionedGentMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

“Just wait till you get your lips round that “

- colleague extolling the virtues of a bottle of wine

“I’m going to bang on this table”

- another colleague trying to regain control of a meeting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When I explain to a patient "you need to suck not blow" when instructing to use a machine at work

^FAO Human Resources this one

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By *oppabear82Man
over a year ago

near you

Anyone fancy going dogging tomorrow? Need to get mine out for a long walk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's a mighty fine cock you have there? Talking about a cockerel of course.

Fancy a good ride? Meaning a ride on a motorbike.

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By *usman 199 OP Man
over a year ago

Stockport

"Anyone fancy going dogging tomorrow? Need to get mine out for a long walk "
reminds me off Peter Kay carshare series .

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By *hy marvel guyMan
over a year ago

Worthing

That's a fine pair of jugs you have there madam.

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By *llaandGCouple
over a year ago

London

I've been taken up the Oxo tower and have explored the Horniman and had a lovely time on both occasions....

Meanwhile a male colleague at work today knelt down next a another allegedly to get to his locker, saying "Don't worry, I just want a teabag". Seated colleague and I sniggered immaturely!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The Tittifers on In The Night Garden

Always hilarious haha

Mrs

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By *penbicoupleCouple
over a year ago

Northampton

"I fucked your mum."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you hold the back door open I'll come in that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take me up the dirt track

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got a sack full today

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By *ukeuk888Man
over a year ago

hastings

I had a female boss who knew I had another task to complete and was concerned about my current one interfering who said ‘ if you want me to pull you off, I’ll pull you off’ still makes me snigger

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

My Wankle engine needs greasing

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By *ig_eric_tionMan
over a year ago

IPSWICH

Flange plate.

Push rod.

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By *ingobrian70Man
over a year ago

tallaght

Fudge packer

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By *ingobrian70Man
over a year ago

tallaght

Work related too;

Flange assy’s (flange assemblies)

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By *oby321Man
over a year ago

Earth

Cumquat

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Fylde Coast

Get ya cock out of my face.. hang on I think I've got this all wrong!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuchs Lubricants

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By *ultured Gent16Man
over a year ago

close.

It sure how many will remember but on an episode of Rainbow

many years ago, Geoffrey, George and Bungle all playing with their twangers and maracas.

Ah Jane……

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By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden

proselytize

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By *TG3Man
over a year ago

Dorchester

That looks so big when its erect

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By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago

london stratford

what a load of codswallop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tethering my hotspot

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By *ay19720Man
over a year ago

Ashford kent

Love a sausage

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a scaffolders lorry..

Ask to see pictures of our erections.

Must have been fabbers.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

Interim, describing a temporary job.

I always want to ask them how long they've been inter-rimming.

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By *elee100Couple
over a year ago

birkenhead

Can you cut and paste

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Tits and Knockers. As in the feathered kind and on a door!

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By *Mr-Man
over a year ago

Nearby

‘It’s not the length you’ll struggle with, it’s more the width’

Had a colleague once who loved to throw one liners like this into conversations with customers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well, blow me!"

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By *rtyIanMan
over a year ago

Gateway to the Beacons

Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus.

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By *inister_SpinsterWoman
over a year ago

Manchester(ish).

"Dydd Gwyl Dewi Hapus."

St David's Day ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moist

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

There's nothing more I love than a relaxing shag.

It's so much cheaper to roll your own cigarettes these days.

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By *iddlesticksMan
over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

Fuckwankcuntcumbucket.

I’ve not got the hang of this have I.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Butter my muffin please

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By *amhorniestMan
over a year ago

Surrey

Anyone with the surname 'Rimmer'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Licketysplit

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By *UCKER56Man
over a year ago

Walsall

Bugger me!

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By *wingin CatMan
over a year ago

London

"Anyone with the surname 'Rimmer' "

Red Dwarf would have been banned, in that case!

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