FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

Otter Madness

Jump to newest
 

By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tarka the piss, Tom.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

we've encroached on their turf with our buildings etc. We have done more damage to ecosystems than nature has. Rewilding helps to restore that balance. If someone chooses to have an expensive imported fish as a pet and has them scoffed by a hungry otter, he needs to choose his hobbies with more care.

Free the otters!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I’m sure an otter is not up to date with the price of carp nor would they probably care. I mean it’s a free meal basically on a plate. Just wildlife doing its thing and feeding.

The mr

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news"

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Same as chickens tbf, if the fox takes them its because they are not secure enough.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *izzy RascallMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

The fish should swim quicker rather than being slow and fat.

The otters would never catch a motor pike and side carp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante


"Don't tarka the piss, Tom."

Chicken tarka is my favourite curry...its like chicken tikka but its a little 'otter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Truro

It's Simple really:

Predator locates food source.

Predator finds way of getting food source

Predator eats food source

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"It's Simple really:

Predator locates food source.

Predator finds way of getting food source

Predator eats food source "

Predator gets killed by some bloke covered in mud with a pointy stick!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's Simple really:

Predator locates food source.

Predator finds way of getting food source

Predator eats food source

Predator gets killed by some bloke covered in mud with a pointy stick! "

Then they film Predator II

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks."

Maybe the owner should attach lasers to his Koi.......

Koi with lasers would defo be a match for any otter.

A

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks.

Maybe the owner should attach lasers to his Koi.......

Koi with lasers would defo be a match for any otter.

A"

Arms race though.

Otters would then evolve anti laser armour plates and probably call in air strikes

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks.

Maybe the owner should attach lasers to his Koi.......

Koi with lasers would defo be a match for any otter.

A

Arms race though.

Otters would then evolve anti laser armour plates and probably call in air strikes"

The Northern Garden Treaty Organisation would refuse to support a no fly zone, and the otters would annexe the summer house

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks.

Maybe the owner should attach lasers to his Koi.......

Koi with lasers would defo be a match for any otter.

A

Arms race though.

Otters would then evolve anti laser armour plates and probably call in air strikes

The Northern Garden Treaty Organisation would refuse to support a no fly zone, and the otters would annexe the summer house"

The badgers would tacitly support the otters and send spy balloons over neighbour's water feature!

It's got carnage written all over it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks."

Koi are not related to sharks surely. ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks.

Maybe the owner should attach lasers to his Koi.......

Koi with lasers would defo be a match for any otter.

A

Arms race though.

Otters would then evolve anti laser armour plates and probably call in air strikes

The Northern Garden Treaty Organisation would refuse to support a no fly zone, and the otters would annexe the summer house

The badgers would tacitly support the otters and send spy balloons over neighbour's water feature!

It's got carnage written all over it"

The elite Mercenary Mink would no doubt be called upon to conduct raids with plausible deniability from the Otter Government.

The only chance the Koi have is to enter an alliance with snapping turtles as heavy infantry to defend the perimeter. The Koi had attempted to establish protection by eagles, but eagles are happy to snack on otters or Koi.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news"

wouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in "

Ottery wire cutters?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ellhungvweMan
over a year ago

Cheltenham

Life is tough. What is given with one hand, is taken with the otter.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

[Removed by poster at 27/02/23 15:20:26]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Yes, that’s the title of the thread

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?"

omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually "

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world domination

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ormerWelshcouple2020Man
over a year ago

Stourbridge

Offer them an Ottolengi hamper

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks."

We've done the right thing with these animals being reintroduced. I'm looking forward to more species following suit.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world domination"

omg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Peoples are not taking this seriously

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Peoples are not taking this seriously "
i did

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news"

What the fuck is going on here ? People can't imprison a fish to use as an ornament without some fucking mammal acting like they are there to steal. Otterocious goings on !!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

I read the op title as other madness..

Still knew whom it was though as Tom isn't the type to be coy..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world dominationomg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution "

Stick a blanket in it!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire

Maybe if the koi were rewilded they might get more savvy survival wise..

'Free the Koi now'!!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world dominationomg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution

Stick a blanket in it!"

why are you cold..... Temperature has dropped hasn't it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s the risk they take with having fish as pets, fish are not pets, they are food

As for electric fences… pretty sure otters are protected

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erry bull1Man
over a year ago

doncaster

Man has pushed the wildlife out of its habitat long enough it’s about time wildlife fought back

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

My step dad's koi where secured in but the otters still had them. How can you be cross at an otter when you see how they carry their babies

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world dominationomg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution

Stick a blanket in it!why are you cold..... Temperature has dropped hasn't it "

Cold doesn't cut it ......... One of my hands is daed... guess which one?

I meant your otterman ...... stoopid

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In otter news……..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the news

No because they are and always have been indigenous species.

Unlike Koi. Which are related to sharks, and we all know Tom's feelings on sharks."

Koi fish are related to the common carp

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ovespudsMan
over a year ago

Swindon


"The otters would never catch a motor pike and side carp"

This answer certainly wasn't wasted on me. Answer of a Share genius.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The otters would never catch a motor pike and side carp

This answer certainly wasn't wasted on me. Answer of a Share genius. "

To be fair, it was a strong post

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

The one at fault is trying to keep exotic fish, the otters just doing what it should. I'm all for rewilding

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Peoples are all for rewilding until a wolf eats you for breaky on the way home from the pub

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Peoples are all for rewilding until a wolf eats you for breaky on the way home from the pub "

No-one reminded otters ... they have always been here.

Tom is getting confused with beavers

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *lynJMan
over a year ago

Morden


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world dominationomg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution "

Leading to a new Otter-man empire

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world dominationomg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution

Leading to a new Otter-man empire "

Classic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Surely a householder can defend his land and property even if they are fish.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If he rewilds, it would be better

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ssex_tom OP   Man
over a year ago

Chelmsford

Wolf packs no thank you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester


"Residents of a village in Somerset which is mostly famous for it's love of cider are fed up with otter attacks and one resident has installed electric fences to stop these top predators from taking his prizes koi carp. He has lost literally thousands of pounds to these fish killers. As well as electric fences he has installed motion detection lights and statues of stork birds to deter the otters.

Is rewilding at fault here?

What's going on here guys. It's all over the newswouldn't it be easier to wire up the pond the koi carp are in

Ottery wire cutters?omg the otters have wire cutters now well thats progress..... It had to come eventually

Transposeable thumbs next ... then world dominationomg imagine being ruled by otters....... The otter-man revolution

Stick a blanket in it!why are you cold..... Temperature has dropped hasn't it

Cold doesn't cut it ......... One of my hands is daed... guess which one?

I meant your otterman ...... stoopid "

lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Surely a householder can defend his land and property even if they are fish. "

Nah imported, invasive, glitterfish are not protected species. Unlike native British wild mammals. Touch them and you are going down, chummy.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ack NewhouseMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

This is otterly ridiculous.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top