FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to The Lounge

How much trust?

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

How much trust do you need for being on fab?

It takes a lot of trust that someone is who they say they are, behind a profile text.

It takes trust that someone will turn up when they say they will…. And there’s more trust that needs to be given.

But why do we place faith in strangers? Is it hope that people are generally good people?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually two years

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a mix of trust, risk and gut instinct

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I mean. I'm only really here for the club updates. So I just need to trut that the theme nights posted are correct

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *cottish guy 555Man
over a year ago

London

It does take a certain level of trust. I've met a couple of people from here and it's been good. Mostly though my connections have been made at clubs and socials

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

I think you need to have a very cynical attitude and trust yourself and your ability to spot a wrong 'un before you trust anyone else on the net.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a woman especially, trust is important but it's more faith on here. You have to have faith in your own instincts, gut feelings and the person you choose to meet privately will do you no harm. Trust is built after you know a person but you need to take the leap of faith to get there.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk


"Usually two years "

I got wait 2 years. How about 2 weeks then I can get in your pants

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Usually two years

I got wait 2 years. How about 2 weeks then I can get in your pants "

You first need to message. That would be a great start

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

All depends what others do with your trust.

I've never once doubted that people would turn up because of the conversation beforehand and I've never had a no show.

People have trusted me with information and I've never abused that but unfortunately others are quite happy to use it as currency.

Those I do trust though are in no doubt that I do and it is reciprocated.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think you need to have a very cynical attitude and trust yourself and your ability to spot a wrong 'un before you trust anyone else on the net."

I still treat people as individuals, but I’m definitely a little more suspicious to new people coming into my messages online.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was paranoid when i first joined, expected big Dave to out me at any moment

Then i went to a social and realised people genuinely don't give a fuck

I've become less cautious, but i will still take steps to conceal my identity & location

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

It takes some level of trust, I mean as a couple to be here a huge level of trust between us is required if there's any trust issues there then fab isn't the place.

For meets, I do kinda trust that what they say is true, they'll meet when they say, they look like their pics and they are the age they say they are, also that they aren't going to tie me up in their loft, I think it's easier as a couple we have each other should any issues arise, but yeah a certain level of trust must be there to meet I'd say.

Mrs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hortarseWoman
over a year ago

Norfolk


"Usually two years

I got wait 2 years. How about 2 weeks then I can get in your pants

You first need to message. That would be a great start "

But men on here message first

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was paranoid when i first joined, expected big Dave to out me at any moment

…..

I've become less cautious, but i will still take steps to conceal my identity & location "

Are you some kind of superhero?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was paranoid when i first joined, expected big Dave to out me at any moment

…..

I've become less cautious, but i will still take steps to conceal my identity & location

Are you some kind of superhero? "

I can't tell you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

Personally... I judge people by my own standards, I'm pretty normal and reliable, and I don't pretend to be something in not, so I kind of expect other people to be like that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It takes some level of trust, I mean as a couple to be here a huge level of trust between us is required if there's any trust issues there then fab isn't the place.

For meets, I do kinda trust that what they say is true, they'll meet when they say, they look like their pics and they are the age they say they are, also that they aren't going to tie me up in their loft, I think it's easier as a couple we have each other should any issues arise, but yeah a certain level of trust must be there to meet I'd say.

Mrs "

This^

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Usually two years

I got wait 2 years. How about 2 weeks then I can get in your pants

You first need to message. That would be a great start

But men on here message first"

You can wait for me to message you then

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you need to have a very cynical attitude and trust yourself and your ability to spot a wrong 'un before you trust anyone else on the net.

I still treat people as individuals, but I’m definitely a little more suspicious to new people coming into my messages online. "

Yep we treat people as individuals but I've been kicking around internet forums since Handbag days and in that time I've witnessed some spectacular catfishing, before it was a word. A cup of coffee and a chat at least proves a person who looks vaguely as described exists, the rest is down to luck and judgement.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

A lot of it is trust....and a little bit of Pixie Dust x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ansexualPandaMan
over a year ago

Near You

Once bitten, twice shy for me. Arranged a one-on-one meet that was a no-show. It has put me off looking one-on-one meets - I can get those off line on a night out!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

I joined here as a trusting person. Now I am not. I trust myself and my instincts and that’s enough for me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Nothing to hide, I post a lot and chat in cam rooms. What you read is what you get.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I joined here as a trusting person. Now I am not. I trust myself and my instincts and that’s enough for me. "

. Life changes is doesn’t it?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inkyInkedBiWoman
over a year ago

.

It’s hard to trust people on here after countless let downs

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I joined here as a trusting person. Now I am not. I trust myself and my instincts and that’s enough for me. "

^^ this.

I've recently lost faith in the goodness, kindness and humanity of people. A long con and a fake friend have cured me of trusting or looking. Hence the closed profile.

I always guarded against the obvious players and users but not him & it's often those closest you have to watch out for.

I'm not on here cheating or have anything to hide or be ashamed of so I'm rather open about my personal info, to a point.

But as far as feelings go. No chance. Not any more.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *asmine xxxWoman
over a year ago

Cornwall, Bristol

I’m pretty trusting. I normally take a lot of time getting to know someone before I meet them. I’ve been lucky so far and trust my instincts xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Trust is built over time. I would never trust someone I barely know especially on here. It's why I have a social before I plan anything else with anyone on here. Because yes people have turned up who were nothing like their pics or how they were when chatting on here.

Even when meeting someone more than once off here it takes a long time before I would fully trust anyone,in fact there is one person on here I can say I completely trust on here and that trust is mutual we have built that up over a long time of getting to know each other.

Others have fooled me for short periods but they were never real friends anyhow. It was always one sided.We live and learn though and don't make the same mistakes again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Fab is no different to any other social platform really.

When someone is genuine, it boils down to respectful rapport and Comms.... And gut instinct

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *oeBeansMan
over a year ago

Derby

I like to think I can trust everyone at first until they say things or give me a reason not to and then I can decide if I want to carry on chatting to them

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *atricia ParnelWoman
over a year ago

In a town full of colours

Everyone gets 25% and 1 chance to break it. It's my responsibility not to give anything sensitive to them, hence why most are kept at arms length

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"It's a mix of trust, risk and gut instinct "

^^^This, really.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eh, usually I'd say it takes a good while of constant chatting, videos, voice notes etc. But occasionally you'll get a good feeling about someone and you just trust your gut that they are genuine even if you've not spoken loads. I do prefer to take my time getting to know someone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *bi HaiveMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Cheeseville, Somerset


"How much trust do you need for being on fab?

It takes a lot of trust that someone is who they say they are, behind a profile text.

It takes trust that someone will turn up when they say they will…. And there’s more trust that needs to be given.

But why do we place faith in strangers? Is it hope that people are generally good people? "

I guess it depends how you're using the site really.

We mainly meet in clubs so little trust required for that. The club will always be there and if someone we're planning to meet doesn't show then there'll be others there and we always have eachother.

In terms of working out who's real? Pretty easy in many a case. Most we'd probably want to meet at some point are active in the forums, have met and been verified by people we know, or people known by people we know, or by clubs etc. It's kind of a Kevin Bacon 'six degrees of separation' thing. When you've been on the site over a decade and watched the comings and goings you'll know some people are real just by their site activity and history.

With newbies and non forum users it's just a case of being sensible. Trust won't be there initially of course but there are those we'd give the benefit of the doubt to without question and those we'd be more cynical about from the get go.

But we don't rush anything. Ever. So trust can be built over however long it takes and if we get let down ever then it won't have been anything that has cost us time, money or effort. So no biggie. And we rarely give second chances.

A

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Read their verifications.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny


"I think you need to have a very cynical attitude and trust yourself and your ability to spot a wrong 'un before you trust anyone else on the net."

Trust is earned not given freely.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top