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The myth of the alpha male.

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By *quirrel OP   Man
over a year ago

East Manchester

Been asked several times by a variety of different women, "Are you an Alpha male?. This left me dumbfounded, because I'm definitely not an Alpha male, and I know that because I actually looked into what it is to be can alpha, and why women are so obsessed with finding one is a mystery when you actually get a definitive account of what it is to be an Alpha male or female.

So for all those ladies who told me that I wasn't suitable here's something to think about.

Taken from the research of the Good Men Project.

The ‘so-called’ Alpha Male.

When men brag about themselves or someone being an alpha male, many negative traits were discovered. They’re often dominating, vulgar, short-tempered, sexists, and violent. These types of attributes have hindered men for far too long. Having spoken about the mistakes made in my past, many have fallen into the trap of toxic ideas about what makes a man a man. The Armed Forces, which promoted a culture of toxic masculinity. An idealized version of masculinity very few men actually lived up to and the ones that did were the most miserable to be around.

Men should not be striving to be an asshole or bully or both.

Some men think being an alpha male means dominating other people. And always making yourself the de facto leader. It’s a statement that holds true for all people, ‘no one person knows everything, but every person knows something.’ You may be okay with leading a camping trip, or organising a party or a business meeting. But if you get more than a flat tire on your car, then you're going to follow the lead of any person who knows a helluva lot more about cars than you do to fix the problem.

The most common and outdated idea of being an Alpha Male was that it was OK to be a bully. To belittle others and make yourself look bigger than the rest.I

This is a negative trait which no one admires, so it doesn't pay to be like that. If a man started a fistfight because someone cut them off in traffic on the way to work, are they displaying a mature sensible attitude or a primitive chest beating one?

Q. So What's better than being an Alpha?

A. Being An Evolving man/woman

The kind of man that makes a mark in this world isn’t a so-called ‘Alpha Male” that bullies their way to the top. If you make it to the top that way, they’ll be plenty of people waiting for your downfall. And when you do fall, you’ve been such an asshole no one will help you when you’re down.

An evolved man is a man that leaves his mark but in a positive way. They’ve uplifted others, traveled far and wide, been teachers, and mentors to those who needed direction, they continue to learn and grow. This isn’t saying that an evolved man can’t make mistakes. Or that an evolved man must be perfect at all times. It isn’t about being the uber agreeable nice guy that tries to get along with everyone and never stands up for themselves or others.

No, an evolved man is assertive, always keeps their word, they’re kind, considerate and supportive of others. They’re the type of men in leadership who are willing to step aside when the time comes. They’re the type who build up others around them, including the women in their lives. And they’re the ones to learn from their mistakes. So ladies say goodbye to the outdated idea of the ‘alpha male’ being the guy you want, because it’s some stupid shit made up by humans to classify the different roles of the Wolves in a pack, not the people in your lives.

Now it's time for everyone else to put their own stamp on this.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

People are people. Most of them are terrible. Some of them are tolerable

Generally anyone who considers themselves any of the Alpha, Sigma, or more evolved than all of that fall into the same category as nice guys to me. If you have to say it and tell me all the ways you fit that ideal, then it's not being demonstrated, and we're incompatible.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Are women obsessed with alpha males, do we need someone to tell us not to be?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can assure you that I ain’t one and don’t want to become one either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Are women obsessed with alpha males, do we need someone to tell us not to be?"

Apparently

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Someone described me as an alpha female once.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

No body cares, it's a load of bollox.

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By *r SproutMan
over a year ago

the middle


"I can assure you that I ain’t one and don’t want to become one either "

He’s a Ford male ^

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

Sorry op but that was tldr.

In regard to alphas and myths most of it is role-playing even if it's only in their head.

Some people look at a pic of a man holding a belt and think oh look he's an alpha.

Some people look at a pic of a man holding a belt and think bless, he's put on a few pounds and it doesn't fit him anymore.

It's all about perceptions and often a source of unintentional amusement.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Been asked several times by a variety of different women, "Are you an Alpha male?. This left me dumbfounded, because I'm definitely not an Alpha male, and I know that because I actually looked into what it is to be can alpha, and why women are so obsessed with finding one is a mystery when you actually get a definitive account of what it is to be an Alpha male or female.

So for all those ladies who told me that I wasn't suitable here's something to think about.

Taken from the research of the Good Men Project.

The ‘so-called’ Alpha Male.

When men brag about themselves or someone being an alpha male, many negative traits were discovered. They’re often dominating, vulgar, short-tempered, sexists, and violent. These types of attributes have hindered men for far too long. Having spoken about the mistakes made in my past, many have fallen into the trap of toxic ideas about what makes a man a man. The Armed Forces, which promoted a culture of toxic masculinity. An idealized version of masculinity very few men actually lived up to and the ones that did were the most miserable to be around.

Men should not be striving to be an asshole or bully or both.

Some men think being an alpha male means dominating other people. And always making yourself the de facto leader. It’s a statement that holds true for all people, ‘no one person knows everything, but every person knows something.’ You may be okay with leading a camping trip, or organising a party or a business meeting. But if you get more than a flat tire on your car, then you're going to follow the lead of any person who knows a helluva lot more about cars than you do to fix the problem.

The most common and outdated idea of being an Alpha Male was that it was OK to be a bully. To belittle others and make yourself look bigger than the rest.I

This is a negative trait which no one admires, so it doesn't pay to be like that. If a man started a fistfight because someone cut them off in traffic on the way to work, are they displaying a mature sensible attitude or a primitive chest beating one?

Q. So What's better than being an Alpha?

A. Being An Evolving man/woman

The kind of man that makes a mark in this world isn’t a so-called ‘Alpha Male” that bullies their way to the top. If you make it to the top that way, they’ll be plenty of people waiting for your downfall. And when you do fall, you’ve been such an asshole no one will help you when you’re down.

An evolved man is a man that leaves his mark but in a positive way. They’ve uplifted others, traveled far and wide, been teachers, and mentors to those who needed direction, they continue to learn and grow. This isn’t saying that an evolved man can’t make mistakes. Or that an evolved man must be perfect at all times. It isn’t about being the uber agreeable nice guy that tries to get along with everyone and never stands up for themselves or others.

No, an evolved man is assertive, always keeps their word, they’re kind, considerate and supportive of others. They’re the type of men in leadership who are willing to step aside when the time comes. They’re the type who build up others around them, including the women in their lives. And they’re the ones to learn from their mistakes. So ladies say goodbye to the outdated idea of the ‘alpha male’ being the guy you want, because it’s some stupid shit made up by humans to classify the different roles of the Wolves in a pack, not the people in your lives.

Now it's time for everyone else to put their own stamp on this.

"

Having all of those traits doesn't automatically mean someone is as your describing. It's knowing how to use them in the right situations. You've got to learn how to control yourself before you try to control others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I want to be a tree!

*one for the 90s Tv kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyone who describes theirselves as alpha is describing control. Whether it be controlling a situation or person, that attitude is a toxic one. Dominating in any shape or form isn't attractive and certainly isn't what this woman wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just sounds like another form of pigeon holing people. I don't label myself as anything and dont want a label. Though you might find me in the Tesco value section

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

If you have to call yourself an alpha…. Then you are not an alpha! I think that is a distinction that other people would make… but no one is alpha over me and I think the categorisation stuff is nonsense!

It’s a bit like men calling themselves bulls like it gives them some sort of self esteem boost!

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire


"Anyone who describes theirselves as alpha is describing control. Whether it be controlling a situation or person, that attitude is a toxic one. Dominating in any shape or form isn't attractive and certainly isn't what this woman wants."
,, this,

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

Is this an Andrew Tate thing ? Young men thinking a fast car is the ultimate in machismo ? Hopefully some of them will grow out of it by the time ‘teen’ is no longer in their age bracket.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

Are they many women obsessed with 'alpha' males? I personally don't know one woman who is in fact most women I know roll their eyes when that term is used by anyone.

It's all about perception as well I think and what a person means when they use the term alpha. The only men I have seen use it to describe themselves are those who look down on others and are sneery and nasty about those they perceive to be below them. I've never once see a man who I consider to be a decent person use that term to describe themselves. But then again my perception of a decent man can be completely different to what another person thinks.

I definitely at this stage in my life don't need to be told what a perceived 'alpha' is or what someone thinks I should be looking for either. Or to be impressed by virtue signalling by people who consider themselves to be nice and have to announce how different they are to others on here.

There are bound to be people who look for all different types on here and there are plenty who fall into each and every category as well.Which is why fab works for such a different array of people. When I fall outside of others preferences I don't feel the need to knock what others look for though or feel the need to correct what I think they mean. I just move on it's a lot easier than worrying about it and letting it bother me .

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts


"Anyone who describes theirselves as alpha is describing control. Whether it be controlling a situation or person, that attitude is a toxic one. Dominating in any shape or form isn't attractive and certainly isn't what this woman wants."

I couldn’t be arsed to read the op but I totally agree with this. It screams control or dominant to me. Nooooo thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've never asked anyone,man,woman or anyone in between if they're alpha...why we need to label people baffles me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Andrew Tate is an Alpha Male, but he's also a fucking twat who is poisoning young men's minds and Romania should keep him locked up for life.

I'm ok with not being Alpha.

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By *quirrel OP   Man
over a year ago

East Manchester


"I've never asked anyone,man,woman or anyone in between if they're alpha...why we need to label people baffles me."

We don't need to put labels on people, because people will usually label themselves.

They have a psychological need to identify with something they regard as a positive.

To prove it just do a name search for Alpha on this site and see how many guys have found a way of incorporating Alpha into their profile name.

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By *ir SupremacyMan
over a year ago

Bolton

Im a Tiger does that count x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would test any potential alpha out by sticking him in the horses field with one bucket of pony nuts and letting nature take its course.

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By *ellinever70Woman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Maybe it's the moustache

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we try and catch one and study it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trick question.

They don't want an alpha. They want to out this who call themselves alpha.

The funniest thing I find with "alpha males" is they are often intolerant of gender self identication. While desperately trying to convince the world that they are alpha while following rules on what alphas are.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I've never asked anyone,man,woman or anyone in between if they're alpha...why we need to label people baffles me.

We don't need to put labels on people, because people will usually label themselves.

They have a psychological need to identify with something they regard as a positive.

To prove it just do a name search for Alpha on this site and see how many guys have found a way of incorporating Alpha into their profile name."

Don't we all want to identify with what we perceive a positive? What leads you to believe that most women are obsessed by alphas?

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By *ily WhiteWoman
over a year ago

?

On here, I've found that profiles describing themselves as alpha males have generally watched 50 Shades of Shite and want to engage in BDSM in a completely inexperienced and likely unsafe manner, because they think that crappy film is real and they heard from their mate down the pub that all women like that kind of thing

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