FabSwingers.com forum: Messages

By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes.

You are wrong.

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By *enrietteandSamCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Tbnt.

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By *ehindHerEyesCouple
over a year ago

SomewhereOnlyWeKnow

https://m.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ#noreply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "

How many messages are you getting in your average day/week on here?

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By *he_Secret_GardenWoman
over a year ago

Naughty Lane

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "
Well...I disagree with you there im afraid.

why would I acknowledge "hi" or "great tits " or "I'm in your area,wanna fuck" messages?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? Well...I disagree with you there im afraid.

why would I acknowledge "hi" or "great tits " or "I'm in your area,wanna fuck" messages?"

Exactly couldn’t agree more

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By *ictoria_1976TV/TS
over a year ago

Lanson

Yup - you are indeed wrong

It's in the FAQ's - no reply = no thanks

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

I understand that...I would just delete dross like that...I'm talking about thought out decent messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The answer that some of our messages deserve would just get us put in Fab jail.

Not everyone deserves a reply.

It was a good point though that’s never been made before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If people ignore “profile is not looking for you messages”, the many items in someone’s profile that show they don’t want messages from you, don’t want dick pics, etc. etc etc so you still think it’s rude not to reply .

Do you reply to every piece of mail that comes through your door or speak to every cold caller on your mobile ?

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "

Hi OP, there are a lot of posts about this. Most of them can be summed up...

- Men vastly outnumber women and couples on this site so for some people it becomes overwhelming to reply to everyone.

- Some people won't take no for an answer and want to know why or become abusive

- So many messages have the feel of copy & paste. If you cba writing something original then why bother replying

- Replying to a message then allows that person to bypass any filters you put in place

I genuinely thought we'd reply to every message when we joined. But I find it really awkward to say no thanks so I'm guilty of just not replying. Especially if I click on the profile and see nothing of the other person than a few graphic close ups.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you are definitely wrong.

I started off doing that and some of the abuse I got was terrible. Now sorry but no way I’m going to waste my time doing that. You live and learn on this site lol

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

A few but I always acknowledge unless it's just rubbish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s 4 words too long. Want to times that message by 17? Quick maffs tells me the answer is 69

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By *ou only live onceMan
over a year ago

London

"I understand that...I would just delete dross like that...I'm talking about thought out decent messages "

Just thought out decent messages from you, OP? You might be one of dozens or hundreds of thought out decent messages in their inbox.

As others have said, no reply is a reply. I'm actually not sure a "thanks but no thanks" is actually that much better, to be honest, but that's just me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A few but I always acknowledge unless it's just rubbish "

So you don’t reply to every single one then?

I wish you could have access to my messages for even a couple of days.

I’d love to see if you still think every message deserves a reply because honestly it’s mind numbing at times.

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By *educedWoman
over a year ago

Birmingham

What was the question?!

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "

Il be straight up with you mate and I’d say your overthinking it. No1 on here has to acknowledge or reply to any message. If they read it and you get nothing back then leave it as that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ?? "
for some people they would have to take it on as a full time job to do that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ?? "

In your view.

There’s no way around this. There’s no other way to say it.

It’s written down in the forum FAQ’s , it’s not impolite, a no reply is a no.

No one owes any stranger here anything.

I get you feel this way but I’m afraid this one is asked and answered

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"...am I being too sensitive ? "

That one

Nobody owes you a response. What you think may be a polite and thought jt message may be read and perceived as just yet more unwanted drivel from the endless sea of mediocrity on here.

"Oh well I'm better than them so I deserve a response" is also a repulsive attitude

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ?? "

So if say your filters stopped working, and you got hundreds of messages from men (as you're not seeking them). Would you go through every single one stating 'thanks, but no thanks'. Or would you just ignore them because they didn't interest you?

People don't respond to what they're not looking for. It's as simple as that

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

We are all entitled to have a view...The one thing that we do owe each other is good manners and respect until it is not deserved..anyway goodnight ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day a reply saying "no thanks" or no reply at all is still the same end result, so why worry yourself over whether strangers on an internet site reply to you or not.

This place is meant to be about fun so don't let the small stuff get to you.

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

Whoa..I'm no better or worse than anyone but I do have respect for people until proven wrong..just saying

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are all entitled to have a view...The one thing that we do owe each other is good manners and respect until it is not deserved..anyway goodnight ?? "

So you’ve literally not listen to anyone’s view on this then? It goes both ways

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

"At the end of the day a reply saying "no thanks" or no reply at all is still the same end result"

Slight disagree out of context. No reply tends to bring peace, no thanks tends to be taken as an invitation to either continue trying it on or an excuse to hurl abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are all entitled to have a view...The one thing that we do owe each other is good manners and respect until it is not deserved..anyway goodnight ?? "

On the plus side if you get a reply it's more likely to be someone who is interested. Surely better than an inbox chock full of no thanks

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

Just keep posting pity threads,OP. Those foolish women will soon see what they are missing.

Another dozen or so should have the whole hot mess of your erstwhile ignorers beating their scantily-clad way to your door, demanding immediate ingress and congress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"At the end of the day a reply saying "no thanks" or no reply at all is still the same end result

Slight disagree out of context. No reply tends to bring peace, no thanks tends to be taken as an invitation to either continue trying it on or an excuse to hurl abuse."

True, good valid point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We are all entitled to have a view...The one thing that we do owe each other is good manners and respect until it is not deserved..anyway goodnight ?? "

Indeed we are.

But you asked a question that has been asked enough times to warrant its own section in the forum FAQ’s and the sites owners have stated

“There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you should assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?”

Surely that answers your question ?

I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you wanted or agree with but that is the answer as far as the site’s concerned.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Too sensitive, I don't message back everyone and I'm not getting thousands of messages.

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By *ancer36Woman
over a year ago

Stirling

Don’t have the time of day to respond to everyone and quite frankly I don’t want to - it’s a personal choice and highly dependant on the volume of messages you are getting, your mood on a given day, there’s no rules here

Clearly state on my profile that if I delete a message it’s because I’m not interested I don’t feel the need to tell people that via a message

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Covent Garden

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "

•

Even the finest hand-crafted, urbane and personalised message will fester unread in a lady's ever-increasing InBox. Your bespoke message wouldn't be the f¹rst. And it wouldn't be the last.

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

[Removed by poster at 23/02/23 23:02:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op, to be fare your maybe a really nice guy

but you really aren’t doing yourself any favours or going to get anymore reply’s the way you are going about things on here. You are not listing to anyone’s input and coming across as being really judgmental.

It’s just going to put more people off.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman
over a year ago

If people don't fit what you are looking for, yet still choose to message no matter how polite they are being, I see that as bad manners as they are ignoring what you are looking for, so why exactly do they deserve a reply?

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By *burns7Man
over a year ago

walsall

Shouldn’t take it to heart if someone doesn’t respond, just gotta take it on the chin and try somewhere else

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By *hePerkyPumpkinTV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "

It's perfectly acceptable to ignore messages.

For some people here sending a simple "no thanks" to everyone that messages them would be a miserable and time consuming job.

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

It does feel rude to not reply to messages but it’s easier that way. When I’ve politely responded with a no thanks people have been persistent so it’s less hassle to not respond unless I’m interested.

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By *lephantisMan
over a year ago

Oxford

" If people don't fit what you are looking for, yet still choose to message no matter how polite they are being, I see that as bad manners as they are ignoring what you are looking for, so why exactly do they deserve a reply?"

Exactly this. At least a few times a week I see a profile that attracts me - usually a Forum poster - and see that I'm not the sex, age, location, or anatomy-endowed person they are looking for. At which point it is the easiest thing in the world to mentally wish them good hunting and move on.

I really can't imagine the scattergun approach works for anyone.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

"It does feel rude to not reply to messages but it’s easier that way. When I’ve politely responded with a no thanks people have been persistent so it’s less hassle to not respond unless I’m interested. "

The weird thing I find is when someone winks and you send them a message to let them know it's mutual and then nothing

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Unfortunately, I don't know if a well thought out message will turn to abuse if I say no thank you. Some do. And then your filters are open to them.

I did a brief experiment several years ago and actually recorded the rate of abuse (or pleading or anything like that). Not replying cut it by about two thirds.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s might not be you op. Their phone screen might be cracked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it’s a small world if you think your voice is just a echo then present yourself to people who want to be around you

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By *hocohung8Man
over a year ago

Norrh East & East midlands

Just move on

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

The weird thing I find is when someone winks and you send them a message to let them know it's mutual and then nothing

Yeah that’s just strange! My wink button doesn’t even work so I have to get C to log on and wink if I want to do that so I tend not to bother

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By *hil most chillMan
over a year ago

South East & Europe

It's about time someone addressed this important issue.

And yes you're very wrong OP

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

The weird thing I find is when someone winks and you send them a message to let them know it's mutual and then nothing

Yeah that’s just strange! My wink button doesn’t even work so I have to get C to log on and wink if I want to do that so I tend not to bother

So that's why I didn't get one, thank you for clearing that up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Op ... let's say someone receives 20 messages in an hour. To read, make a decision, type a reply and send might take, say, a minute. That means 20 minutes,or one third on an hour is taken up just saying thanks but no thanks.

Believe it or not many ladies and couples will get more than that number. Eventually the point is reached that even with the best will in the world it is a physical impossibility to reply to them all.

Sheesh I am just an unconvincing tranny and I often can't keep up with the meagre number of messages I get!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

"Op ... let's say someone receives 20 messages in an hour. To read, make a decision, type a reply and send might take, say, a minute. That means 20 minutes,or one third on an hour is taken up just saying thanks but no thanks.

Sheesh I am just an unconvincing tranny and I often can't keep up with the meagre number of messages I get!"

I keep up with my messages

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

Sheesh I am just an unconvincing tranny and I often can't keep up with the meagre number of messages I get!"

That's a lot of important forum and wanking time wasted.

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By *veragecouple2000Couple
over a year ago

Cwmbran

The weird thing I find is when someone winks and you send them a message to let them know it's mutual and then nothing

Yeah that’s just strange! My wink button doesn’t even work so I have to get C to log on and wink if I want to do that so I tend not to bother

So that's why I didn't get one, thank you for clearing that up

This is why I should check my winks and messages more carefully…..

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

The weird thing I find is when someone winks and you send them a message to let them know it's mutual and then nothing

Yeah that’s just strange! My wink button doesn’t even work so I have to get C to log on and wink if I want to do that so I tend not to bother

So that's why I didn't get one, thank you for clearing that up

This is why I should check my winks and messages more carefully….."

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By *J_SpiceyCouple
over a year ago

Kinky Kings Lynn

I’d say read the profile.

You message must comply with what they seek otherwise your message is pointless and irrelevant hence no reply will be forthcoming and your message deleted.

Common sense really.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People don't respond to what they're not looking for. It's as simple as that "

And there it is in a nutshell. Perfectly explained!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you know what though if you’re feeling like bending the rules ask what they favourite make up is and see if they can have a conversation

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I would imagine seeing Genuine in a username is enough to warrant skipping/deleting

Show dont tell

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ?? "

If ypu use Reply + quote we know who you are replying to.

Please will you reply to all the decent, well thought out replies on this thread. You are ignoring lots of people who have taken the time to reply. Even if it's just a

reply.

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By *ill1411Man
over a year ago

Durham

why would I acknowledge "hi" or "great tits " or "I'm in your area,wanna fuck" messages?"
some men have absolutely no imagination and can't be arsed, they think because a woman is on here she'll just drop her knickers and get on her knees if he just offers up his cock and they spoil it for the rest of us who treat people with respect. Yes we all want sex but it takes nothing to be polite and respectful but it goes both ways I've gotten so many messages that just say "hi" so I still have to make the running. It's just lazy

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

If I'm not interested I just block them if I don't reply & they persist...

Problem solved...

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By *ill1411Man
over a year ago

Durham

"At the end of the day a reply saying "no thanks" or no reply at all is still the same end result

Slight disagree out of context. No reply tends to bring peace, no thanks tends to be taken as an invitation to either continue trying it on or an excuse to hurl abuse.

True, good valid point."
I had one woman go absolutely nuts when I politely said no thanks because I wasn't willing to do a 600 mile round trip for a meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ??

If ypu use Reply + quote we know who you are replying to.

Please will you reply to all the decent, well thought out replies on this thread. You are ignoring lots of people who have taken the time to reply. Even if it's just a

reply. "

Classic, so many well thought out and polite replies given on this thread and yet OP hasn’t responded to each and every one. Surely by the definition of their own arcuement , this is rude ?

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ??

If ypu use Reply + quote we know who you are replying to.

Please will you reply to all the decent, well thought out replies on this thread. You are ignoring lots of people who have taken the time to reply. Even if it's just a

reply.

Classic, so many well thought out and polite replies given on this thread and yet OP hasn’t responded to each and every one. Surely by the definition of their own arcuement , this is rude ?

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By *litpleaser OP Man
over a year ago

Oldham

"Perhaps I should have reworded the post...I'm talking about decent, polite , well thought out messages...Maybe I'm just too polite ??

If ypu use Reply + quote we know who you are replying to.

Please will you reply to all the decent, well thought out replies on this thread. You are ignoring lots of people who have taken the time to reply. Even if it's just a

reply.

Classic, so many well thought out and polite replies given on this thread and yet OP hasn’t responded to each and every one. Surely by the definition of their own arcuement , this is rude ?

Just following the advice " it's not rude to not reply to all messages " only joking...have a great weekend ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are being extremely sensitive.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On fab I don’t give a shit.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"Am I wrong in thinking that it's rude not to acknowledge a message on Fab ? Even a quick "Thanks but no Thanks " is surely just good manners or am I being too sensitive ? "
It is polite yes but its in site rules no reply not interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You should check out the site rules OP, as it's covered there

https://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ#noreply

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