FabSwingers.com forum: What’s an FWB to you?

By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

I’m often surprised by what people seem to want from what they want a FWB to be. It seems often that it’s someone you get on with and meet up with on a regular basis for sex. To me that’s a fuck buddy. A friend with benefits is a friend first, someone that if you weren’t having sex with them would still be a friend and so you do friend type stuff together, hang out, go out places, chat to regularly about normal stuff and they are someone you also happen to have sex with without getting emotionally entangled. And just like not wanting to only have one friend, I wouldn’t only want to have one FWB, I would quite like all my friends to come with benefits but I guess that’s asking a lot.

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By *_the_impalerMan
over a year ago

canterbury

Exactly that people who you would get on socially anyway and see time to time

Not just for one purpose !

Even if that one event ends in bed after !

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

Good grief no I wouldn’t want all my friends to come with benefits

. However all my benefits have come with friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

It's as you described but I don't have the time or energy to devote to numerous people so I prefer to be beneficial with one.

I can spread my friendship across lots of people but benefits are a rare commodity.

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By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them"

unless you like being with several people that much and also enjoyed fucking them then you could have sex with multiple people for the fun of it with people you really like as friends

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By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"It's as you described but I don't have the time or energy to devote to numerous people so I prefer to be beneficial with one.

I can spread my friendship across lots of people but benefits are a rare commodity."

I guess I don’t quite understand why it takes more time and energy to add the benefits in if you’re already spreading the friendship aspect across multiple people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone I care about and cares about me. Someone I can be myself with and feel comfortable around. Someone who I can grab dinner with or see a movie. Someone who drives me wild inside and outside of the sheets.

All that without the labels of being exclusive.

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

You describe a fwb to perfection op! Finding one or more is not so easy! Most want just f buddy! Have found a few in past but a rare species ! X

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"It's as you described but I don't have the time or energy to devote to numerous people so I prefer to be beneficial with one.

I can spread my friendship across lots of people but benefits are a rare commodity.

I guess I don’t quite understand why it takes more time and energy to add the benefits in if you’re already spreading the friendship aspect across multiple people. "

Because the friendship aspect can be done online or through a phonecall and doesn't require me to travel all over the place just for a quick fuck.

I've zero interest in sex just for the sake of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FWB means to me Fixed Wave Broadband

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

"A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them

unless you like being with several people that much and also enjoyed fucking them then you could have sex with multiple people for the fun of it with people you really like as friends "

Chance would be a fine thing!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone who I can have fun with, dinner, coffee, movie whatever but doesn't want to commit to a full on relationship.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

I really don't want all my friends to come with sexual benefits. For one, while I adore them, they don't all fill me with primal lust. Secondly, with all the best will and intentions in the world, it's rare for people to be able to successfully juggle everyone.

Anyway, it's quite a simple concept and never something I've struggled to find - people who are genuine friends. Who you might have sex with/might not but you've still got that genuine level of friendship. You can talk about various subjects, do things that don't involve being bent over like a decking chair. And you enjoy it, it's not begrudgingly done so you can spaff your load later.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

It's a friend like any other friend that has one added benefit of having sex when you both want it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don’t you think that if one gives one’s sexual intimacy to all one’s friends, it would remove the meaning of it and make it trivial and banal ?

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By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"I really don't want all my friends to come with sexual benefits. For one, while I adore them, they don't all fill me with primal lust. "

Haha, I guess I meant wouldn’t it be nice if your friends did fill you with primal lust and it was reciprocated, rather than having sex with the ones didn’t fancy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone who I can have fun with, dinner, coffee, movie whatever but doesn't want to commit to a full on relationship. "

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By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"Don’t you think that if one gives one’s sexual intimacy to all one’s friends, it would remove the meaning of it and make it trivial and banal ? "

No I don’t think so, I think it just adds a layer into the friendship, and I guess it’s a bit like going for dinner, I like going for dinner with each of my friends, it’s a fun thing to do together, sometimes the food is amazing, sometimes it’s hearty and filling and sometimes it’s light and appetising, having dinner with a few different people doesn’t make the idea of going for dinner with someone else any less fun

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

A FWB to me is a friend that I have sex with. The sex might stop from time to time but the friendship doesn’t doesn’t. If I had to choose to have just one, it would definitely be the friendship.

A FB is just a repeat meet with little or no contact in between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them

unless you like being with several people that much and also enjoyed fucking them then you could have sex with multiple people for the fun of it with people you really like as friends "

Pretty unlikely for me

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

"Don’t you think that if one gives one’s sexual intimacy to all one’s friends, it would remove the meaning of it and make it trivial and banal ? "

Very much so. Some people live for sex and everything else is seen as a bonus including friendship.

I will always choose friendship first and enjoy limited benefits rather than base every friendship on getting into their knickers.

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

Thats the real unicorn of FAB!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Don’t you think that if one gives one’s sexual intimacy to all one’s friends, it would remove the meaning of it and make it trivial and banal ?

Very much so. Some people live for sex and everything else is seen as a bonus including friendship.

I will always choose friendship first and enjoy limited benefits rather than base every friendship on getting into their knickers. "

Yes, I'm the same. I'm not a swinger and for me, sex is quite intimate. Can be fun, silly etc but I don't want to fuck everyone. It loses something for me.

As much as I adore sex, I'd happily go without. Spend time with a person with no sex at all. I guess that's how you know if it's a friend with benefits or a fuck buddy.

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By *ornyHumpyMan95Man
over a year ago

Prestatyn

I don't have a FWB atm, but you hit the nail on the head regarding what I'm looking for, someone to fuck, but someone yo have a chat and be chill with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would like my close friends as they are, a few FBs, one FWB (I wish) and NSA when opportunities arise.

Is that too greedy?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To me a FWB is someone you explicitly meet up on a regular basis, over a period of time that's longer than a one off thing, and it has to be someone who sticks around for a while if not overnight after the deed is done.

The "friends" bit in my opinion comes after the benefits aka sex bit. Going by the way some have defined FWBs on here, it's more akin to short term dating to be very honest. People stand very high chances of catching feelings if they are regularly meeting up whoever they're fucking purely for social stuff without sex involved. Because the driving intentions of the whole dynamic becomes muddled.

At least that's how I see it.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I am definitely hoping that most of the friends I make from now on come with some benefits.

I am very picky who I make friends with though lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t you think that if one gives one’s sexual intimacy to all one’s friends, it would remove the meaning of it and make it trivial and banal ?

Very much so. Some people live for sex and everything else is seen as a bonus including friendship.

I will always choose friendship first and enjoy limited benefits rather than base every friendship on getting into their knickers.

Yes, I'm the same. I'm not a swinger and for me, sex is quite intimate. Can be fun, silly etc but I don't want to fuck everyone. It loses something for me.

As much as I adore sex, I'd happily go without. Spend time with a person with no sex at all. I guess that's how you know if it's a friend with benefits or a fuck buddy. "

Totally. Aside the mechanical of sex and the orgasms that can arise from it, how can one differentiate having sex with the one they love from making love to the ones they don’t love ?

Sure, we could differentiate it from the framing I‘ve just used. But in reality, how can one translate one’s deep emotional affection into sexual intimacy, if one give sexual intimacy to everyone ?

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By *hrista BellendWoman
over a year ago

Delightful Bliss

"A FWB to me is a friend that I have sex with. The sex might stop from time to time but the friendship doesn’t doesn’t. If I had to choose to have just one, it would definitely be the friendship.

A FB is just a repeat meet with little or no contact in between."

This

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By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

"I am definitely hoping that most of the friends I make from now on come with some benefits.

I am very picky who I make friends with though lol."

Yes! Exactly this!

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By *ill1411Man
over a year ago

Durham

"I’m often surprised by what people seem to want from what they want a FWB to be. It seems often that it’s someone you get on with and meet up with on a regular basis for sex. To me that’s a fuck buddy. A friend with benefits is a friend first, someone that if you weren’t having sex with them would still be a friend and so you do friend type stuff together, hang out, go out places, chat to regularly about normal stuff and they are someone you also happen to have sex with without getting emotionally entangled. And just like not wanting to only have one friend, I wouldn’t only want to have one FWB, I would quite like all my friends to come with benefits but I guess that’s asking a lot."
I had a friend like that, we'd known each other since our teens and used to hang around and put the world to rights and had the same interests but she knew that when she was horny all she had to do was call and say so and I'd be on her doorstep within half an hour and the fact that she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose and rode me like a Harley on a bad road was just gravy. I was gutted when she emigrated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone I care about and cares about me. Someone I can be myself with and feel comfortable around. Someone who I can grab dinner with or see a movie. Someone who drives me wild inside and outside of the sheets.

All that without the labels of being exclusive. "

Spot on. Exactly what I have

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A FWB to me is a friend that I have sex with. The sex might stop from time to time but the friendship doesn’t doesn’t. If I had to choose to have just one, it would definitely be the friendship.

A FB is just a repeat meet with little or no contact in between."

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them"

Not all reltionships are posessive , needy , clingly relationships like sayyyyyy monogamy though.

I agree with the O.P. Friends are Friends.

Like the O.P. I like sex to be thought of as a natural activity that isn't bound up in the teachings of the church and the ingrained societal belief that if I have sex with someone I have made a special commitment to them or that I in some way belong to them.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"It's as you described but I don't have the time or energy to devote to numerous people so I prefer to be beneficial with one.

I can spread my friendship across lots of people but benefits are a rare commodity."

That sounds like non commital monogamy to me. Nothing wrong with that but I find it curious when people go for this yet say they are swingers ( not that a definition of swinging is clear these days )

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"Someone who I can have fun with, dinner, coffee, movie whatever but doesn't want to commit to a full on relationship. "

and sex though yeah ?

if so .....

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

"A FWB to me is a friend that I have sex with. The sex might stop from time to time but the friendship doesn’t doesn’t. If I had to choose to have just one, it would definitely be the friendship.

A FB is just a repeat meet with little or no contact in between."

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By *inx.x3Woman
over a year ago

Bath

"A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them"

I think the same. I have plenty of friends I can hang out with and grab lunch with.

I’m happy to chat inbetween meets but I don’t want to go to the museum with them as well.

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By *ack688 OP Man
over a year ago

abruzzo Italy (and UK)

It certainly sounds as though it’s one of those phrases that everyone has their idea about the definition of but which varies greatly between people, no wonder it gets confusing sometimes!

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By *herry delightWoman
over a year ago

Ilfracombe

I definition friends with benefits , a friend is that you can ask if your bum looks big in this and will give you an honest opinion, before giving it a group and you are no longer wear anything.

A fuck buddy is someone you meet up with on a regular basis just for a fuck. Like a tradesmen comes over to service the pipes.

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By *rlandoMan
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

for the fantasists , rare as rocking horse sh*t

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

Fuck buddies are people I have sexual chemistry with but don't connect on the other levels as much as I'd like, but I enjoy them physically every once in a while on a booty call basis.

Friends with benefits are people that I think of mostly as friends, just when we finish doing whatever social or event thing we enjoy each other properly.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A pointless activity, if I liked being with and also fucking someone that much, I'd be in a relationship with them

Not all reltionships are posessive , needy , clingly relationships like sayyyyyy monogamy though.

I agree with the O.P. Friends are Friends.

It's not a case of feeling I've made a commitment because I've fucked them more than once, more that if I'm not that into them besides liking them, I'll get bored with the sex pretty quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I completely agree this is exactly what I'd want. Some guys just don't get it! If I text etc, it's because we are friends if I ask to meet for sex it's because I want sex! Guys often think I'm getting emotionally attached. Which is not the case, other than "caring about a Friend"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone you discus what you’re having for tea with but also can’t wait to get in there pants and have wild fuckery with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Someone you discus what you’re having for tea with but also can’t wait to get in there pants and have wild fuckery with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone to put my dick in it when I feel like it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's as you described but I don't have the time or energy to devote to numerous people so I prefer to be beneficial with one.

I can spread my friendship across lots of people but benefits are a rare commodity.

I guess I don’t quite understand why it takes more time and energy to add the benefits in if you’re already spreading the friendship aspect across multiple people.

Because the friendship aspect can be done online or through a phonecall and doesn't require me to travel all over the place just for a quick fuck.

I've zero interest in sex just for the sake of it. "

Agreed

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

Different FWB for different Benefits - so FWB to me does not necessarily involve sex. It could be a friendship based on other mutual interests for example theatre, holidays, socialising, dancing etc.

I have several FWBs as per that definition and it really works.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Different FWB for different Benefits - so FWB to me does not necessarily involve sex. It could be a friendship based on other mutual interests for example theatre, holidays, socialising, dancing etc.

I have several FWBs as per that definition and it really works.

Glad to see someone who values ppl through benefits they can get from them

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

I had a FWB, worked really well, both single, both had own lives, but we also liked the occasional fuck too, we worked well in the bedroom, but relationship? Nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A good friend who will fuck me with passion in his cock. And tell me I'm the best fuck of his life even though I am nothing special and below average when it comes to sex. I want him to put it in my mouth and then my asshole and tell me that he loves me even though he doesn't. And then I want him to fill me with sperm, but make sure it is innocent sperm that can not produce life. I hope he likes Shrek too.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I have several FWBs as per that definition and it really works.

Glad to see someone who values ppl through benefits they can get from them

Absolutely, and just in case this was misunderstood... it works both ways, of course. Happy to indulge some of those FWB's interests as well, although naturally, there is that common ground anyway eg theatre.

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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Mutual pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have several FWBs as per that definition and it really works.

Glad to see someone who values ppl through benefits they can get from them

Every little helps as they say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a couple that don’t live together, also don’t get all hung up if one of them gets with someone else in between.

-*just generalising with my opinion.

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"A good friend who will fuck me with passion in his cock. And tell me I'm the best fuck of his life even though I am nothing special and below average when it comes to sex. I want him to put it in my mouth and then my asshole and tell me that he loves me even though he doesn't. And then I want him to fill me with sperm, but make sure it is innocent sperm that can not produce life. I hope he likes Shrek too."

You'd like the CV sending where?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB. "

That’s why labels are useful

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB. "

Sweet, glistening boobies

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB.

Sweet, glistening boobies

Charmer

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB.

Sweet, glistening boobies

Charmer

I speak as I find. Your confidence is up. This is good

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By *eeliciouschaosWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB.

Sweet, glistening boobies

Charmer

I speak as I find. Your confidence is up. This is good

That’s true. You’ve seen me at my worst so I appreciate that

Thank you x

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB.

Sweet, glistening boobies

Charmer

I speak as I find. Your confidence is up. This is good

That’s true. You’ve seen me at my worst so I appreciate that

Thank you x"

Nowt worse about you! Next time, we must meet naked

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

I have several FWBs as per that definition and it really works.

Glad to see someone who values ppl through benefits they can get from them

Every little helps as they say "

In fairness, it is what many people do without calling it FWB. They just have friends with whom they share interests and hobbies.

Also, most people in my age group are not fit enough to do the amount of dancing sport I do, so there I tend to be with younger guys. On the other hand I love older guys (any age) to go to the theatre, opera, museum, debate groups etc with because they tend to be more interested in those.

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"I don’t really like to put labels on things but there’s nothing worse than being convinced you’re in FWB situation and all you’re getting is FB. "

I have experienced this, too - we were on different pages altogether. These days I make it quite clear at the beginning whether intimacy and sex are on the menu for me. Sounds a bit cold (and I am really not a cold woman) but I find being clear about this in the beginning is the basis for a good friendship. I tend to know very quickly if I fancy somebody enough to sleep with them at some point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

FB - someone you see on a regular basis to fuck with no strings attached

FWB - as above but with other things thrown in, meals out, perhaps a weekend away, go to clubs with, cinema trips, etc etc

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By *phroditeWoman
over a year ago

(She/ her) in Sensualityland

"FB - someone you see on a regular basis to fuck with no strings attached

FWB - as above but with other things thrown in, meals out, perhaps a weekend away, go to clubs with, cinema trips, etc etc

I agree 95% with you as I see sex as one benefit amongst others, so I can have a FWB where there may just be cuddles and hugs.

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By *allen Angels CplCouple
over a year ago

North East leicestershire

Guess it's different things for different people.

For us it's someone that joins us in our sex life but not just for the sex. It's more about meeting socially or having a drink and the lead up to the sex but not necessarily always mean the night ends in sex.

Unfortunately we haven't found that match yet but we live in hope. It's an enhancement not a desperate search, if we find that person then fine if not we still have a fantastic sex life. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been looking for a fwb for a very long time, I found a fuck buddy, we had a great little thing for about 5 months but he could never give me that friendship part, which was a shame.

I would love to find someone who I could meet up for a coffee and stuff but sadly, they don't seem to exist on this platform, at least not local to me (and the fact I am very fussy).

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