FabSwingers.com forum: You know you're gettin old when.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You get an allotment

Modern music annoys you

Any other?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

You need a piss after the first pint

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You need a piss after the first pint

That's me fooked then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A nice cuppa by the fire is more appealing than a fab meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You get an allotment

Modern music annoys you

Any other?"
You walk Slow.

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By *ereTPMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"You need a piss after the first pint

And it takes all night to do it………

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"You need a piss after the first pint

And it takes all night to do it………

See a doctor!

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

You make noises when sitting down, standing up, lifting things, putting things down, sleeping, concentrating.

Oh the noises.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Early nights, Chocolate Horlicks and Gold Radio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you get excited about a new hoover... Or a new bed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you get excited about a new hoover... Or a new bed!

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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago

Boo's World

You start to smell like mothballs/perfume.

What is it that the older generation use that smells like that?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You have worthers originals in your pockets

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Early nights, Chocolate Horlicks and Gold Radio

Would you like a spoon for your horlicks?

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"You start to smell like mothballs/perfume.

What is it that the older generation use that smells like that?

Hides the stench of piss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Early nights, Chocolate Horlicks and Gold Radio

Would you like a spoon for your horlicks?

Very good

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By *unloversCouple
over a year ago

rotherham

When you realise staying in is the new going out

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By *YDB75Man
over a year ago

East Yorkie

When you come on here because you cant remember what you should have been looking for…then later on you realise you have no milk and it was Asda shop you should have been doing

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By *ipppyMan
over a year ago

Poole

Spot your first grey pubic hair

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By *BDYKCouple
over a year ago

Yarm

You talk about something from your youth and then have to field questions from people who have no idea what said thing was; for example, cassettes and recording songs from the radio..!!

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"Spot your first grey pubic hair"

Oh, bugger

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

[Removed by poster at 21/02/23 17:38:16]

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By *exyMPCouple
over a year ago

SOUTHEND-ON-SEA

"A nice cuppa by the fire is more appealing than a fab meet."

Oh that's just so sad. I'm sure that's not really the case

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"A nice cuppa by the fire is more appealing than a fab meet.

Oh that's just so sad. I'm sure that's not really the case"

Hope not, or we're wasting our time here

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

When the nieces children who you used to babysit for, are out on the lash!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A nice cuppa by the fire is more appealing than a fab meet.

Oh that's just so sad. I'm sure that's not really the case"

It's true

#transitions

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"When the nieces children who you used to babysit for, are out on the lash!!

Or your mate tries to chat them up

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Will let u know when get there! X

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

When I have to explain to a younger woman who John McEnroe is

I'm not that old yet!!!

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By *aramel.desiresMan
over a year ago

Holborn

When you have a shoe horn by the front door.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

When you get to 51, and most of fab disappears from view

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

Prefer missionary position...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When you realise the first Harry Potter film was released 22 years ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You get up several times during the night to pee

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By *weet and SpiceCouple
over a year ago

Around the Midlands

You have to write everything down to avoid forgetting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You reminisce about the price of things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have to write everything down to avoid forgetting

You too then...

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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago

local, but not too local

Your joints sound like a bag of walnuts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Prefer missionary position...

"
yes, my back now prefers missionary

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You make noises when sitting down, standing up, lifting things, putting things down, sleeping, concentrating.

Oh the noises."

Totally guilty. Billy Connolly did a great skit about exactly this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When Nora says your bum doesn’t look the same these days…

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By *haron StonerTV/TS
over a year ago

Haywards Heath

... everyone annoys you and you start saying... 'I don't believe it!!!

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By *osco78Man
over a year ago

Sheffield

When you have a vinyl collection that you already bought on tape and cd..

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By *illDoXXXMan
over a year ago

Preston

It takes you all night to do what you used to do all night !

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

Seeing girls tottering around in high heels and short skirts with nothing on their legs and thinking they must be freezing lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you make that noise when you’re getting out of bed

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By *uck-RogersMan
over a year ago

Tarka trail

I will come back later when I remember.

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By *ife NinjaMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Blue pills

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By *ittlemiss Hal O weenCouple
over a year ago

Southampton

"When you make that noise when you’re getting out of bed

Or using furniture to help you get back off the floor lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you take your pants off & your balls hit the floor..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A nice cuppa by the fire is more appealing than a fab meet.

Oh that's just so sad. I'm sure that's not really the case"

Why would it be sad?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seeing girls tottering around in high heels and short skirts with nothing on their legs and thinking they must be freezing lol "

They'll get a chill in their kidneys

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

When you apologise to your doctor for making a mess in their office as they check your prostrate. She laughed and replied that she was glad I did, it was working properly.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"You need a piss after the first pint

When you can remember liquids being measured in pints...

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By *nlysirMan
over a year ago

Nearby

You have a favourite ring on the hob

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By *unx2019Couple
over a year ago

Moray

When can’t get a job anymore

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

When you realise something that you thought happened a year or so ago is actually several decades ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When can’t get a job anymore

Ouch I felt that x

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By *atthew78Man
over a year ago

Winsford

You look at a sunny day and think hang the washing out over beer garden weather

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When no one views your profile - or fabs a pic !! Must be an age thing??

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"When you get to 51, and most of fab disappears from view

If it’s any consolation that happens to women too - just a couple of decades later!

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

"When no one views your profile - or fabs a pic !! Must be an age thing??"

I fabbed every one that didn’t have a willy in it - so just the one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You look at a sunny day and think hang the washing out over beer garden weather "

yes!

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By *lex CoxMan
over a year ago

Porth

When you sit down and you accidently sit on your sac.

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour

When you get up from the floor after half an hour wrapping presents and you walk like the alien from M.I.B lol that is so meeeee

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

When a spelling mistake on a forum topic header annoys you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you use the words "in my day"

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

"When no one views your profile - or fabs a pic !! Must be an age thing??

I fabbed every one that didn’t have a willy in it - so just the one!

"
our status is so that, thanks for confirming our thoughts ring true .

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"You get an allotment

Modern music annoys you

Any other?"

A) when you ask “are they still alive?”

B) when someone dies and the kids look at you cause they never heard of them!

Bonus points for both at the same time… I got that this week for Dickie Davies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/02/23 19:04:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you get to 51, and most of fab disappears from view

If it’s any consolation that happens to women too - just a couple of decades later!

Wait till you hit 60

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"you get excited about a new hoover... Or a new bed!

Px"

I got excited about my shark hoover when I 1st had it

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By *weetkitten65Woman
over a year ago

Halifax

"Prefer missionary position...

yes, my back now prefers missionary

Mine too...

Though occasionally get carried away & nearly dislocate my hips...

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

Look forward to taking my clothes off into Pjs. Old and single bliss

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

When you have a bed guard to help you in and out of bed because your hips gone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You piss 5 times a night, and almost at the point of having to wear piss pads through the night

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By *avid 50Man
over a year ago

kendal

When you accidentally drop something on the floor and get down on your hands and knees to pick it up and look around to see if there are any other jobs you can do While you’re down there

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By *ottom charlieMan
over a year ago

washington

"You get an allotment

Modern music annoys you

Any other?"
your feet seem further away when struggling to put your socks on your feet,,

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By *ohn heaneyMan
over a year ago

kildare

When ur going to 50th &60 birthday party's and funerals

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"When you accidentally drop something on the floor and get down on your hands and knees to pick it up and look around to see if there are any other jobs you can do While you’re down there"

Made me laugh

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

when ibuprofen becomes part of your diet,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know you are old when to visit the surgery for a nurse to give you a complimentary blood pressure check and it reads 184/112. You are put on meds immediately and buying a blood pressure machine fr Amazon so you can keep a diary so the doctor can keep an eye on if the meds are working

Before I went in I felt fine with no symptoms what so ever.

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By *erryhallMan
over a year ago

birmingham

When your memory goes

What was the question again

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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago

somewhere sweet and sour

"You know you are old when to visit the surgery for a nurse to give you a complimentary blood pressure check and it reads 184/112. You are put on meds immediately and buying a blood pressure machine fr Amazon so you can keep a diary so the doctor can keep an eye on if the meds are working

Before I went in I felt fine with no symptoms what so ever.

Tbf, it's good it was identified hun. Xx

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

fab GP here surgery is now open,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting up from a seating position is an effort

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before I went in I felt fine with no symptoms what so ever.

How're you feeling now?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly feel exactly the same fitness wise, but with a side of anxiety! Maybe I am finally old?

I have meds to take twice a day. I am keeping a diary of my BP. I am having another medical exam next week, with a full spectrum of blood tests. For now the priority is to get the blood pressure down and then look for a cause.

Apparently this is relatively common for someone to be in this situation and not have any symptoms at all. That is, until it is too late.

The shock aside, I highly recommend to all the guys of our certain age to accept the routine checks offered by your GP. This was the first time I have been to a surgery in a decade, so not feeling sick is no excuse. Some things you can't just walk off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting into your size 16 jeans is now classed as a slim day and you've started to stop feeling bad about it

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"when ibuprofen becomes part of your diet,,"

Caution! Bad for the stomach long term. Have a chat with your doc about something better, or at least something that protect your stomach if you need it regularly.

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By *amhorniestMan
over a year ago

Surrey

When the police look like children

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you spend more money on Werthers Originals than designer clothing

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By *relandgentMan
over a year ago

city

When nobody under 35 has heard of the A team, and they are your bosses !

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By *ldFashionedGentMan
over a year ago

Chelmsford

You make an inadvertent noise getting out of a bean bag chair

You look at a tea cozy and don’t immediately think about putting it on your head

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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago

Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands

When you have recently celebrated your 83rd birthday

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

When you get all kinds of goodies through the post, funeral plans, stool sample kits and saga brochures

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

When you can't touch your toes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your knees creak as you walk up the stairs

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

When your back aches getting into bed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you get on your knees to give oral and they have to help you back up after

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

[Removed by poster at 26/02/23 11:49:32]

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By *andyfloss2000Woman
over a year ago

ashford

Wish I could get an allotment had my name down 2 years x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to Google what certain terms mean no cap

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

When you read a thread about how men love older women and you're out of the age range of the majority of contributors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you read a thread about how men love older women and you're out of the age range of the majority of contributors

Bahahaha I feel your mirth

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"When you read a thread about how men love older women and you're out of the age range of the majority of contributors

Bahahaha I feel your mirth"

I often read

'i love older women, the older the better'

Upper age limit 45

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

You make “you know you’re getting old threads”!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The doctors start looking so incredibly young...

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By *r PantyMan
over a year ago

Morpeth

You fill out an online form and when it comes to date of birth, you have to scroll and scroll and scroll until yours shows up.

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By *orksRockerMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Going to a rock club, and listening to sings you bought on vinyl and seeing people rocking out to them that weren't born when you bought it.

lol

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By *trawberry shortcake 9999Woman
over a year ago

When you start a conversation with back in my day or when I was younger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when your kids are now older than you were when you started work or when you got married or when...

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

You've got no teeth to brush

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By *ustamanMan
over a year ago

weymouth

"You get an allotment

Modern music annoys you

Any other?"

Oh - bugger

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By *rank speakerMan
over a year ago

Worcester

"You need a piss after the first pint

And it takes all night to do it………

See a doctor!

First time I had to use the N.H.S. since I was 6!

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

You watch the Brits and haven't got a clue who half the bands are.

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

You keep hearing “omg mum you’re soooooo embarrassing” and you’ve literally no idea what you’ve done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the idea of a good Saturday night is pyjamas on, coco in hand watching your favourite detective series on ITV3

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You keep hearing “omg mum you’re soooooo embarrassing” and you’ve literally no idea what you’ve done. "

Hmm, I have one who has given up speaking to me cos of this....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When the barman takes a second to check your ID because your birth year starts with '19'

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"When the barman takes a second to check your ID because your birth year starts with '19'"

Yeah I’m always getting asked for ID. It’s such a pain…….

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/02/23 12:45:41]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you're on a night out and you look for a seat so you can all sit down.

When you avoid the bars where music is blasting loudly as you want to hear what your friends are saying to you.

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By *ulldog_71Man
over a year ago

Sedgefield

When you can't count the tablets you take on one hand

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you buy your first garden chairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You keep hearing “omg mum you’re soooooo embarrassing” and you’ve literally no idea what you’ve done. "

Nah, you know you're really, really getting old when your kids start expressing appreciation for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you start creaking when you move haha!

Or when you suddenly remember a song thinking it was from about 3/4 years ago and realise it’s from 15 years ago!

Oh, and when the eldest child is turning 18 this year

Mrs

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"When you can't count the tablets you take on one hand"

I could count twelve tablets on one hand whilst using the other hand to move the tablets from one place to another.

Thankfully I don't have to, even for a week's worth of tablets, but the skill is available for all of us. I learned it from an East African Asian. Not sure which race discovered the technique, though.I find it a useful one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you post on this thread...

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

"When you start creaking when you move haha!

Or when you suddenly remember a song thinking it was from about 3/4 years ago and realise it’s from 15 years ago!

Oh, and when the eldest child is turning 18 this year

Mrs"

Eldest child is now 20. Bollocks

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

You have to run to the toilet first thing in the morning rather than power walk. And just before you go into the loo you have to stop and hold the door frame and cross your legs to stop a dribble.

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"You have to run to the toilet first thing in the morning rather than power walk. And just before you go into the loo you have to stop and hold the door frame and cross your legs to stop a dribble.

If you were that old, you would have worn a pad all night to deal with the the dribble!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When the barman takes a second to check your ID because your birth year starts with '19'

Yeah I’m always getting asked for ID. It’s such a pain……."

Are you old enough to be on this site young madam?

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By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

You fancy lunch at the garden centre.

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By *ang bang bangity bangCouple
over a year ago

Sunderland

Athletes that you are absolutely sure only broke on to the international scene a few years ago are retiring. And then you realise the few years in questions is actually about 12 years

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

Losing weight takes forever, instead of cutting down to four pints on a friday, 8 on a saturday.

Finding any excuse not to go out on the bike, were before I would find a reason to get out on the bike.

I have to ice my knees for a week after playing paintball/airsoft for half a day.

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By *xxmale76xxxMan
over a year ago

inverness

You know you are getting old, when it takes you all night, to do what you used to do all night

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By *ushandkittyCouple
over a year ago

Gloucester

When you make the same noises getting out of bed, that you used to make someone else make whilst in bed!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you fancy the lollypop lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When your inhaler qualifies as a sex aid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you think about air frying ideas more than sex. I don't do that

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By *iscretefun77Woman
over a year ago

Dublin

When You and your teeth don’t sleep together

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Down the Rabbit Hole and Round the Corner

You're dead

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By *avexxMan
over a year ago

cheshire

"When You and your teeth don’t sleep together

"
,, made me laugh,,

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By *inks_apeyCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

When your programmed car radio stations are now kisstory, smooth fm and greatest hits radio

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By *amhorniestMan
over a year ago

Surrey

When you hear a song that you feel is still quite new and realise it's over 30 years old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you tell Alexa to play a song and everyone looks at you like you're a corpse

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By *ormalfornorfolkMan
over a year ago

Norwich

It takes you a week to recover from a game of squash

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By *pank the MonkeyCouple
over a year ago

Down the Rabbit Hole and Round the Corner

"When your programmed car radio stations are now kisstory, smooth fm and greatest hits radio "

Hang on you've forgotten classic fm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you tell Alexa to play a song and everyone looks at you like you're a corpse "

When you forget 'Alexa's' name and can't stop it playing

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By *aptain Caveman41Man
over a year ago

Home

If you creak like an old barn door when you get out of bed

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

New recruits were born in the 2000's and you realise you are old enough to be their mum!

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By *mwirralMan
over a year ago

wirral

"New recruits were born in the 2000's and you realise you are old enough to be their mum!"

Bet you can still teach them a thing or 2 though

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

You go Aaaahhhhhhh and exhale while getting up from a low armchair

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By *anielpiercedMan
over a year ago

by the seaside

Also when you need an angle grinder to trim your toe nails

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By *r and Mrs GravestoneCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

When you fart when you stand but look at others because you didn’t know it was you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you fart when you stand but look at others because you didn’t know it was you

Thought women didn’t fart

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By *r and Mrs GravestoneCouple
over a year ago

Tinsel Town

"When you fart when you stand but look at others because you didn’t know it was you

Thought women didn’t fart

Well, I wasn’t talking about me

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

When you hanker for some of the things from the last century.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

When you don't put socks on in winter coz you can't bend down to get them on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When you don't put socks on in winter coz you can't bend down to get them on

When you take your socks off at night by standing on the toe of one and pulling your foot out that way (thereby avoiding the need to bend down)

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

When you're outside absolutely everyone's age range on fab

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By *odgerMooreMan
over a year ago

Carlisle

You ejaculate dust!!!

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

You find yourself starting posts like “Who remembers lard and coal sandwiches” or “You know you're gettin old when.....”

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

When you'd prefer to have lunch with someone on fab rather than a quick cup of coffee

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By *opman121Man
over a year ago

stoke on trent

Splash of brut and ready to go lol

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

When people that work with you know your name and you can't remember theirs

When you love listening to Leonard Cohen live in Dublin On spotify

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

You wake up delighted that you got up and out of bed before you have your morning pee

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

When you start talking about the weather

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

When you saw all your favorite 80's bands live the first time around rather than retro festivals

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By *ifty grades of shadyCouple
over a year ago

Carisbrooke, Isle of Wight

When a knee trembler was once a

favourite stand up fuck position and nowdays is a orthapeadic condition

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

When you still own a Walkman (and it works still)

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

When you remember everything closing on Christmas day

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By *ornucopiaMan
over a year ago

Bexley

"When you don't put socks on in winter coz you can't bend down to get them on

When you take your socks off at night by standing on the toe of one and pulling your foot out that way (thereby avoiding the need to bend down)"

I do that with my trousers as well but because I am lazy.

I can still reach my toes to trim and paint* the nails myself and put socks on unaided so I'm not doing too badly in the flexibility league.

*You know you are getting old when your toenails can only bear public exposure with artificial pearlescence!

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

When I mention Grange Hill and few people go what?????? (Best show ever growing up)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ttfn

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