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By *ogo1189 OP   Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

A lot of profiles say how not to start a conversation but I’ve only seen one that suggests topics to discuss.

What topics do people respond best to? When was the last time you responded to an uninvited message in a positive way and why? Does message content matter as much as photos or verifications?

What are your thoughts?

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I respond best to conversations started about points on my profile or forum posts.

I think that if you tell someone what topic to come to you with on your profile it's going to become just as tedious and monotonous as the hey how are you approach.

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By *ogo1189 OP   Man
over a year ago

Rossendale


"I respond best to conversations started about points on my profile or forum posts.

I think that if you tell someone what topic to come to you with on your profile it's going to become just as tedious and monotonous as the hey how are you approach."

Valid but some profiles are literally just a list of what not to message

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"Valid but some profiles are literally just a list of what not to message"

If you don't like that, don't message them.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire


"I respond best to conversations started about points on my profile or forum posts.

I think that if you tell someone what topic to come to you with on your profile it's going to become just as tedious and monotonous as the hey how are you approach.

Valid but some profiles are literally just a list of what not to message"

Don’t message those with massive lists. Look for someone who you’re more compatible with.

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By *ogo1189 OP   Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

I get this vibe a lot on here. Lots of don’ts and very few dos

Even those with lists will have some kind of expectation of what is a good message. I’m wondering what is.

Seems to me better to ask than trial and error which annoys people in itself

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman
over a year ago

Carlisle usually


"I get this vibe a lot on here. Lots of don’ts and very few dos

Even those with lists will have some kind of expectation of what is a good message. I’m wondering what is.

Seems to me better to ask than trial and error which annoys people in itself"

That's the nature of the site. Women ate constantly inundated with messages from men who don't fit their preferences or read their profiles. So are much more likely to adopt a negative tone.

Everyone has a different idea of a good message and what works for one won't necessarily work for another.

Read profiles. If you fit their preferences and they fit yours, look for something of interest on their text to initiate a conversation.

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"I get this vibe a lot on here. Lots of don’ts and very few dos

Even those with lists will have some kind of expectation of what is a good message. I’m wondering what is.

Seems to me better to ask than trial and error which annoys people in itself"

OP I would say that if you are messaging someone it’s because you found something interesting about them. Use that. Be you, no one wants a load of fake drivel for the sake of it.

Tell them what you like about them and why you’re messaging. Be natural, maybe a little flirty - take inspiration from how they have put themselves out there.

Good luck!

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat


"I get this vibe a lot on here. Lots of don’ts and very few dos

Even those with lists will have some kind of expectation of what is a good message. I’m wondering what is.

Seems to me better to ask than trial and error which annoys people in itself"

But what works with one person doesn't with another so it's not that simple.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get overly bothered if people read my profile, it is a tad long.

I'm probably alone in this but I tend to respond to the blasé ones. The ones that don't compliment me and call me beautiful and shite. Ones with some humour, also accompanied by a hot photo or two helps.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that some people ask for too much in a first contact. It's not the conversation starter for us it's how the conversation continues and that's down to both people. If anyone tells me how not to start a conversation with them it indicates a level of control of and disinterest in me personally that means we'd not be compatible

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By *ull English with teaMan
over a year ago

London

I like to start with a lighthearted discussion on people’s favourite type of potatoes

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By *ogo1189 OP   Man
over a year ago

Rossendale

All great responses thanks. I’m trying to figure out what the etiquette is for this site and this definitely helps

How many people really meet through messages would you say? Do people prefer club meets before any message?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"All great responses thanks. I’m trying to figure out what the etiquette is for this site and this definitely helps

How many people really meet through messages would you say? Do people prefer club meets before any message?"

I don't think it's possible to quantify that.

Clubs are traditionally recommended to single men because for them, meeting via the site can be difficult

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I respond best to conversations started about points on my profile or forum posts.

I think that if you tell someone what topic to come to you with on your profile it's going to become just as tedious and monotonous as the hey how are you approach.

Valid but some profiles are literally just a list of what not to message"

People will read your profile when they decide whether to reply or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Truth is, it doesn't matter what you say on your first message as it's ultimately going to come down to attraction. If someone wants to engage with you properly, the conversation should flow naturally.

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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in Co. Down

To be honest the message itself doesn't matter that much to me it's if the profile appeals to me then I am more likely to reply to a message. In saying that faf or messages like that just get deleted .

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By *arriedcoupleNECouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"To be honest the message itself doesn't matter that much to me it's if the profile appeals to me then I am more likely to reply to a message. In saying that faf or messages like that just get deleted ."

It's this for us. Much more likely to respond to a "Hi how are you" with a good profile than a great message with a bad one.

The ideal is message which references our profile with the sender having a good profile which means words and not a load of explicit photos.

But even that doesn't guarantee a response if we not in the right mood. Very much luck of the draw.

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By *eroLondonMan
over a year ago

Mayfair

There is no right answer. More often than not your message will fester and disappear into your recipient's InBox like "tears in rain".

I haven't sent a first/introductory message in almost two years. My engagements have been instigated by the other person. Reasonably good behaviour on the forå and a relatively adequate profile is sometimes the best impetus.

I am curious to know what you mean by "an uninvited message"...?

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish

How do merpeople reproduce?

What is your favourite soup?

Squirrels. Yes or no?

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

Love your tits usually my go to

Mrs

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Everyone is different

Personally (when applicable) I prefer a first message be about my profile or something I've said in public. When applicable, I try to make my profile a target rich environment so people have plenty to work off.

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By *mily36CWoman
over a year ago

Bedford (or anywhere beginning with B..!?)


"I like to start with a lighthearted discussion on people’s favourite type of potatoes "

Variety or cooked preference?!

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I get this vibe a lot on here. Lots of don’ts and very few dos

Even those with lists will have some kind of expectation of what is a good message. I’m wondering what is.

Seems to me better to ask than trial and error which annoys people in itself

That's the nature of the site. Women ate constantly inundated with messages from men who don't fit their preferences or read their profiles. So are much more likely to adopt a negative tone.

Everyone has a different idea of a good message and what works for one won't necessarily work for another.

Read profiles. If you fit their preferences and they fit yours, look for something of interest on their text to initiate a conversation."

Yeah. I had a list of don'ts after my first couple of weeks on the site. Because after several hundred (type of message that irritates me) you go "oh my god, how can I make this stop".

I've worked out you can't, but I totally understand the impulse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could talk about the weather

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"How do merpeople reproduce?

What is your favourite soup?

Squirrels. Yes or no?"

Merpeople also get nose boners and that goes in a special scaly fishflap.

Not a fan of squirrel soup, I’d go with fox.

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.

If someone talks about cheese recipes.

Mentions some sort of book they've enjoyed/talks about one of my waffling posts.

Honestly, I'll reply with a hi if I'm in the mood to. You don't have to be the most entertaining conversationalist from the get go - if I'm in a receptive mood you could probably get away with very little.

That being said, the best first message I've seen was truly a masterpiece. Even featured Abba.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If someone talks about cheese recipes.

Mentions some sort of book they've enjoyed/talks about one of my waffling posts.

Honestly, I'll reply with a hi if I'm in the mood to. You don't have to be the most entertaining conversationalist from the get go - if I'm in a receptive mood you could probably get away with very little.

That being said, the best first message I've seen was truly a masterpiece. Even featured Abba."

Been waiting to find someone to talk to about cheese recipes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply if someone talks about my profile header. Or general nerdy, geeky chat!x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I always reply if someone talks about my profile header. Or general nerdy, geeky chat!x "

See I can talk you about the weather?

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple
over a year ago

Manchester-ish


"How do merpeople reproduce?

What is your favourite soup?

Squirrels. Yes or no?

Merpeople also get nose boners and that goes in a special scaly fishflap.

Not a fan of squirrel soup, I’d go with fox."

Good answers. Do female centaurs have human boobs, horse boobs or both? And which do they use to feed the baby centaurs?

OP, you might think I'm being a bit of a nob. But people's answers on the forums to stupid questions like these let me know how much I'd be likely to get on with them in real life and in bed. I'd much rather this sort of thing than sex talk.

J

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By *JJ_6969Man
over a year ago

Aspull


"I always reply if someone talks about my profile header. Or general nerdy, geeky chat!x "

"general nerdy, geeky chat"

How nerdy we talking here? Some light chat about star wars movies? Or a few paragraphs about obscure Lord of the Rings facts?

Also, I love Volkswagen

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8


"How do merpeople reproduce?

What is your favourite soup?

Squirrels. Yes or no?

Merpeople also get nose boners and that goes in a special scaly fishflap.

Not a fan of squirrel soup, I’d go with fox.

Good answers. Do female centaurs have human boobs, horse boobs or both? And which do they use to feed the baby centaurs?

OP, you might think I'm being a bit of a nob. But people's answers on the forums to stupid questions like these let me know how much I'd be likely to get on with them in real life and in bed. I'd much rather this sort of thing than sex talk.

J"

Has to be both, surely?! If a centaur is human from t’waist oop, boobies be ere. She’s just got a big old horsevag.

Baby centaurs would have human brains, mouths, instincts etc so would probably go for a nice bit of human nipple at lunchtime.

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