FabSwingers.com forum: Zero attraction

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems fairly common, but may vary depending on how you are defining attraction, whether purely physically or on other levels like personality etc. Doesn’t mean you’re broken.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

I find the odd person that takes my fancy but they are few and far between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/02/23 14:34:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I'm feeling exactly the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be like house buying where you invest loads of time and effort finding somewhere you like and then suddenly the right place comes up. You don't need to feel broken.

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By *corpiomanMan
over a year ago

harrogate

You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page

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By *corpiomanMan
over a year ago

harrogate

Anyone*

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By *elix SightedMan
over a year ago

Cloud 8

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

Quite the opposite for me!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went on this game show once.

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

Your not broken, if you mean on this site then suppose your in group with 90% plus. Pics are great but real life meets are the key to attraction.

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By *rWarwickshireMan
over a year ago

Leamington Spa

It’s the opposite for me too…. Reckon I must fall in love 2-3 times a day…. Lol

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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago

Newcastle

Nope I have a long list which are all my female friends but most are attached or million miles away but my neighbor well she's next door

I've you tried speck savers you may need glasses

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Seems fairly common, but may vary depending on how you are defining attraction, whether purely physically or on other levels like personality etc. Doesn’t mean you’re broken."

All of the above. I don’t really feel physical attraction without some level of emotional connection or without being attracted to their personality.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page"

It’s not always hidden. I’ve hidden it currently so I can chat on the forums and be online without being bombarded with messages.

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By *eyond PurityCouple
over a year ago

Lincolnshire

We are looking for maybe 1% of what this site can offer so it does get to be that way where you waste a lot of time going through messages from people you’ll never connect with or find attractive.

Look yourself and then you’ll hopefully connect with the people you want

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page"
to add, it’s not men finding me attractive that’s the problem. It’s me not finding them attractive.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

Hugs. I went through this with low libido and trauma and stress

You are not broken. You are human. Humans are not machines and even machines need to be taken down, maintained, and put back together again to run efficiently.

That's why I don't beat up the self-checkout machines or throw my printer out of the window. Hope that made you laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab burnout. Take a break.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Seems fairly common, but may vary depending on how you are defining attraction, whether purely physically or on other levels like personality etc. Doesn’t mean you’re broken."

Good thinking point. When I went off the boil I thought I'd become asexual....so...I had to do some investigation as to what was going on in my brain and body.

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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago

Wherever I lay my hat

I get you. There are people who's company I enjoy. There are people I can appreciate aesthetically. But the people who I full on lustfully fancy the pants off are now very few and far between. I need the complete package to pique my interest and get my juices flowing

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By *.T.Man
over a year ago

Belfast

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page

It’s not always hidden. I’ve hidden it currently so I can chat on the forums and be online without being bombarded with messages. "

He's thinking like a man and not read your post.

You aren't finding anyone you are attracted to rather than not having anyone finding you attractive. Easy mistake for a blike to make when he's thinking about his needs.

As for your dilemma, maybe its the whole fab thing that is the issue, rather than a lack of people you like the look of?

We all lose our mojo from time to time, it doesn't mean we are broken, just jaded and not finding the person who sparks for you.

I do hope it passes, but enjoy the forums for what they are and maybe someone might catch your eye when you least expect it x

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to?

I find the odd person that takes my fancy but they are few and far between. "

Hugs

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Yes, I'm feeling exactly the same"

Hugs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

When you know you know ..you'll meet or see someone that just takes your breath away and the feeling will be mutual, there's nothing at all wrong with not feeling attracted to people , absolutely nothing.... enjoy things and do not be so hard on yourself

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"It can be like house buying where you invest loads of time and effort finding somewhere you like and then suddenly the right place comes up. You don't need to feel broken. "

Interesting concept.

Personally, I didn't want to wait for the "right" one to come along...I need to live my life in the "Power of Now."

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By *rimordialPaladinMan
over a year ago

Brixton

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

I agree with the majority of responses. Your just human we go through things in waves but hopefully you will comes across that ticks all the boxes you need and there is no problem with waiting until that comes along.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page"

Op might have hidden it until they have figured out what happened/is happening to their attraction.

No point leading people on when you are thinking there is something wrong and you are trying to fix it before opening up again.

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By *rimordialPaladinMan
over a year ago

Brixton

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page

Op might have hidden it until they have figured out what happened/is happening to their attraction.

*clicks fingers ^^^church

No point leading people on when you are thinking there is something wrong and you are trying to fix it before opening up again."

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Your not broken, if you mean on this site then suppose your in group with 90% plus. Pics are great but real life meets are the key to attraction. "

Yeah I need a physical real-life connection. My brain doesn't view pictures as real people for some reason. Oh wait the reason is I'm neurodivergent.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Seems fairly common, but may vary depending on how you are defining attraction, whether purely physically or on other levels like personality etc. Doesn’t mean you’re broken.

All of the above. I don’t really feel physical attraction without some level of emotional connection or without being attracted to their personality. "

Ah I see. Personally I can't build a connection unless I meet a person in real life face to face....and regularly.

I have an avoidant disorganized attachment style. I avoid most people and things but when I find one that fits I'm super loyal/ clingy? lol! I hate being vulnerable in my normal life.

I started going to clubs because I was disconnected from my body and other people's bodies. Once I started going and getting used to being naked around other naked people...my body and brain sort of relaxed and said hey it's ok to be vulnerable and everyone else in this club is also as vulnerable as you are right now.

Baby steps.

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"Fab burnout. Take a break."

That works too. I definitely have to pace myself with meets.

I get neurodivergent burn out in my daily life so I don't need a Fab one on top of that too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

Yes I’m struggling with this just now too and it feels weird.

When I first joined it was great and I’ve made some fantastic friends but I haven’t met anyone “new” in quite a while as I’m not feeling it.

I’ve done a lot of soul searching lately and think the little mental and physical health niggles I’ve had have eaten away at my confidence a bit and I need to figure out if this is still the right place for me.

Hope you figure it out OP xx

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By *elaninMaverickWoman
over a year ago

near Putney Heath

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page

Op might have hidden it until they have figured out what happened/is happening to their attraction.

*clicks fingers ^^^church

No point leading people on when you are thinking there is something wrong and you are trying to fix it before opening up again."

Noted. Lol! I'd be a very odd type of priest but I'll take it. Lol!

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Seems fairly common, but may vary depending on how you are defining attraction, whether purely physically or on other levels like personality etc. Doesn’t mean you’re broken.

All of the above. I don’t really feel physical attraction without some level of emotional connection or without being attracted to their personality. "

You're not broken. I feel the same. I think I'm demisexual if anything - it's rare I have the desire to fuck someone but when I do I need that emotional connection. Not a wedding ring, but some sort of friendship before I find them arousing.

I think you can also become a bit jaded with this place; taking some time away to work out what it is you actually want is a very good thing.

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By *ealitybitesMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I'm lucky in that I have someone I'm very attracted to on a few different levels but don't have the energy to express that attraction at the minute.

That lack of energy and general malaise means I've no interest in meeting anyone new either.

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By *iscean_dreamMan
over a year ago

Llanelli

No but mutual attraction seems rare

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By *imply DeeWoman
over a year ago

Wherever

You’re not broken. What I observe more and more nowadays, is we’ve been subjected into swipe/cancel/instant gratification culture. Being told that if we need connection, we are clingy and needy and probably fussy as well.

I need both, connection and attraction, otherwise it’s not happening and I’m not selling myself short just to fit the bill. I don’t think I’m broken and you are not too.

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By *ris GrayMan
over a year ago

Dorchester

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "
maybe you're attracted to personality rather than or as well as looks

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

Do you mean on a sexual level or something else?

Have you considered the possibility you may be asexual?

Asexual means, which is sometimes called ace identities, any person who does not feel sexual attraction to people of any gender. Keep this in mind as this is very important when it comes to the definition of asexuality. Asexual people simply do not experience sexual attraction to either gender. This does not mean that they are not able to date, fall in love with romantic partners, or engage in sexual behavior, however. It only means that they do not experience sexual attraction as people of other sexual orientations do. This is not to be confused with hypoactive sexual desire disorder, where you will experience little interest in sex or have a low libido, which will be upsetting to you. An asexual person will not feel upset when they abstain from sex or don’t have sexual contact with another person.

I’m sure you can google the rest!

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By *oxy jWoman
over a year ago

somerset

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

stick to you guns op you know what you like and prepared to wait for it i see nothing wrong with that and what ever you do do ever think ah fuck it ill lower my standards as you'll just regret it ... you not on your own very few women /couples play with anyone .

if i get 100 messages 99.9 to 100% of those wont interest me at all

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By *2000ManMan
over a year ago

Worthing

Treat fab like a social club op. Plenty of topics up for discussion. Personality and humour can get you a long way. Good luck!

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By *unfunfun xMan
over a year ago

LONDON

This maybe stupid opinion but everyone being on this lockdown for few yrs, not mentioning c word so no one mingled etc could of rewired our brains and make people feel like this I dunno, I was one of lucky ones could go out and work so basically was mixing in a kinda way with public still. But I'm sure that has effected alot of people maybe in mixing again???

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

I find it very difficult to be attracted to anyone who’s not on my wavelength. So we’d share the same political beliefs, outlook and to a certain degree hobbies. At the same time respect each other’s need for space and personal freedom.

Also be nice if they looked quite nice as well.

So I’m not asking for much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can find the attraction, but it’s finding the confidence in myself to do something about it lately that I struggle with.

So, I could imagine what your experiencing could also be a thing.

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By *rofessor ElementalMan
over a year ago

Durham

Have found lately the truth is, having a lack of sexual attraction is common place maybe it’s just the right personality hasn’t come along yet. Best to keep trying though.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page

It’s not always hidden. I’ve hidden it currently so I can chat on the forums and be online without being bombarded with messages. "

You don’t have to hide your profile OP. You can just put all your message filters on. If you want to message someone, you can wink or message their profile and this bypasses the filters.

My fab life has been so much more pleasant since I used this method.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We get you OP.

We won't lower our standards on here just for the sake of it, we have to genuinely find them attractive.

I find I struggle more with finding men attractive, I find more women attractive

Miss S x

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

No one's really "exciting" me at the moment. I quite often go through these phases.

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By *imi_RougeWoman
over a year ago

Portsmouth

"Your not broken, if you mean on this site then suppose your in group with 90% plus. Pics are great but real life meets are the key to attraction.

Yeah I need a physical real-life connection. My brain doesn't view pictures as real people for some reason. Oh wait the reason is I'm neurodivergent.

I really enjoy reading your insights.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seems fairly common, but may vary depending on how you are defining attraction, whether purely physically or on other levels like personality etc. Doesn’t mean you’re broken.

All of the above. I don’t really feel physical attraction without some level of emotional connection or without being attracted to their personality.

I think you can also become a bit jaded with this place; taking some time away to work out what it is you actually want is a very good thing."

Agree about the demisexual possibility. Look it up OP.

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By *ornyHumpyMan95Man
over a year ago

Prestatyn

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

100% all the time, but sometimes something comes out of nowhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I cant quite tip myself over the edge to meet even though there are people I would be attracted to.

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple
over a year ago

Leeds

I struggle with purely physical attraction, I need more than that, but in general for me to find someone attractive takes a lot, I'm not one that looks at celebs, people in the street and think there hot, I've never really had that.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've hidden your profile so that may explain a lot as it's difficult to find any attraction to a blank page"

this

Also, if struggling onsite then get yourself of to a swinging club or alike and have fun. Plenty lovely peeps everywhere. Hard not to find fun. Be lucky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP take comfort in knowing broken things can also be fixed. Make the effort and you'll see, mingle with like minded peeps and the fun will follow. Best wishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant quite tip myself over the edge to meet even though there are people I would be attracted to.

Carpenters?..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 17/02/23 19:54:28]

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

Yep I don't think I am broken though. It's liberating realising that women today are not worth the effort of chasing because they have nothing to offer me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dam it.

I've been on and off here for 2 years and in that time I wouldn't even need one hand to count the guys I've been truly attracted to.

If I'm in that mood even Ryan wouldn't get anywhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant quite tip myself over the edge to meet even though there are people I would be attracted to.

Carpenters?..

Like Jesus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The first episode in the ' come as you are' podcast addresses just this.

It's pretty normal, my wife slept with about a dozen people on this site before ending our marriage, so my sense of attraction and sex has been totally skewed.

Not sure that being on here helps as everything is so sexualized rather than being about normal attraction which probably begins with actually liking someone and more attraction leads from that

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I think I’m broken, I have zero attraction to anyone and I’ve been like this for a long time. Anyone else struggle to find someone they are attracted to? "

Yep.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I …. Anyone else struggle to FIND someone they are attracted to?

Yep. "

Stop looking for someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I cant quite tip myself over the edge to meet even though there are people I would be attracted to.

Carpenters?..

Like Jesus

Kinky...

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By *ora the explorerWoman
over a year ago

Paradise, Herts

"I …. Anyone else struggle to FIND someone they are attracted to?

Yep.

Stop looking for someone. "

I don’t look

. Im not arsed i have someone I was just agreeing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I …. Anyone else struggle to FIND someone they are attracted to?

Yep.

Stop looking for someone.

I don’t look

. Im not arsed i have someone I was just agreeing x"

Show off!!!

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